elliot smith - between the bars

After looking at You Tube footage yesterday and thinking about how great Elliot Smith was, here's the proper version of 'Between the Bars'. Time for the tissues (again).

Drink up baby, stay up all night
With the things you could do
You won't but you might
The potential you'll be that you'll never see
The promises you'll only make
Drink up with me now
And forget all about the pressure of days
Do what I say and I'll make you okay
And drive them away
The images stuck in your head

The people you've been before
That you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

Drink up baby, look at the stars
I'll kiss you again between the bars
Where I'm seeing you there with your hands in the air
Waiting to be finally caught
Drink up one more time and I'll make you mine
Keep you apart, deep in my heart
Separate from the rest, where I like you the best
And keep the things you forgot

The people you've been before
That you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

Toodle pip.

the zombies care of cell 44 - elliot smith - between the bars

I love the Zombies album 'Odyssey and Oracle' (a forgotten classic) and have been playing it a lot recently while falling to sleep. Elliot Smith (RIP) does a good cover of 'Care of Cell 44', which demonstrates what superb taste he had when covering songs. None of them where as good as his own 'Between the Bars' though, one of my favourite songs ever, and if l am feeling emotional, it's a song that often makes me cry like a baby ( big soft idiot that l am)

toodle pip

caledonian crow using three tools

This clever little bugger uses three tools to be able to get food.

I want one now, it's not as clever as me though. I just shout the FPO.

toodle pip

somalia's new laws about mixed sex handshakes

According to the BBC

Men and women have been banned from shaking hands in a district of Somalia controlled by the Islamist group al-Shabab.

Under the ban imposed in the southern town of Jowhar, men and women who are not related are also barred from walking together or chatting in public.

It is the first time such social restrictions have been introduced.

The al-Shabab administration said those who disobeyed the new rules would be punished according to Sharia law.

The BBC's Mohamed Moalimuu in Mogadishu says the penalty would probably be a public flogging.

This is great news.The sooner it happens here the better. It will stop me getting pestered by the ladies and having to be nice to females, freeing up my precious time to go drinking and bonding with the lads.Don't just flog them though, that's being too kind. Stone them!

toodle pip

back to work and a normal life with exercise

Back to work tomorrow/today after the nice long break this week. Can't say l am looking forward to it, bound to be loads of work to do and l also know l have to go to a meeting at Northallerton hospital tomorrow. l am sure there will be problems to solve as soon as l walk through the door in the morning until l leave in the evening (it's also a long day at work tomorrow - 12 hours).

Time to stop eating and drinking so much, and get back to a normal life. I may even take up some exercise like the chappie above (but l doubt it). At present, l am waiting for a new computer to arrive, so l will be sitting on my lazy fat arse in front of that in the next few days (hopefully).

Ah well, Manchester United v Liverpool at the weekend to look ahead to. Praise the Lord there's always football.

toodle pip

toodle pip

spider-man pants

I got these for Christmas off Louise and Dazzer - Steve Dikto and Johnny Romita drawings on them so l was well chuffed (and gave away what a geek l am). Never mind - loud and proud is what l say - embrace your geekness and it will still be cool.

toodle pip

recent books finished - nikki sixx - the heroin diaries, soft - rupert thomson and hunter s thompson - fear and loathing in las vegas

This was a Christmas present from Robbo, sex drugs and rock and roll all the way (and l don't even like Motley Crue). A bit repetitive but amazing the kind of lifestyle that he was living at the time. Of course he was fucked up from his childhood and has now discovered God and sobriety, but what a life he had (Nikki, not Robbo).

Bought this second hand a week or so ago and really enjoyed it. It involves subliminal advertising and interlinked characters with more than a hint of menace, but I was very impressed with it. I will have to get some more of his stuff (if l see them cheap)

Another book about drugs, wild times and being way out there with your buddy. I read it again just before Christmas and also bought it for Robbo as one of his Christmas presents. I guess we had the same kind of idea regarding the books as he had got me the Nikki Sixx one (see above). This is a classic, a mad episode covering a race in the desert and a police conference in Vegas, and thus inventing Gonzo journalism. The DVD is pretty good as well, l can relate to the acid trips etc as l used to be wilder when l was younger. Now it's boring old fart time, which is probably why myself and Robbo thought of these books, it reminds us of a happy, carefree, drug filled time of exploration and buddyship. Happy days.

toodle pip

kate bush omnibus documentary from 1979

Christ, this all seems so long ago. Even l was young then.

toodle pip

wine bar talk about help for heroes and predeterminism

Had a good night in The Wine Bar this evening, met up with Old Joe, Ritchie, Joe Lynch, Larry and The FPO and argued about various subjects, but mainly Help For Heroes and Predeterminism /Predestination.

Although troops who have been wounded should have the best possible care, l hate all the Help for Heroes talk around the troops as l feel that it serves as a propaganda tool which has the effect of more people joining the Army. I would not mind this so much, but most of the people joining up would have had a poor education, be working class, and more than likely be from the inner cities, with no great career or University places looming ahead of them. Obviously some poshos go to Sandhurst or join as officers, but at least they will be making more of an informed choice and have a lot more options in life available to them. There is also a lot of bravado involved, going with your mates and 'looking forward to some action'. The reality is a lot of ruined lives. We might as well go back to having the old Lord Kitchiner 'Your country needs you' posters.

As for the philosophical talk, some around the table were believers and did think their whole life was already mapped out, which l found amazing. To me, life is just a series of random events which we can try and control and make the best out of, but then that is it, no Heaven, Hell or judgement. The sweet relief of death. Only joking at the end there (the sweet relief bit), but life should be lived and enjoyed as much as possible, just try to be good and not hurt anyone else. Easier said than done and l have been a right bastard in the past, but at least l am trying to be better. As for death, when l have too many aches and pains and life becomes not worth the effort, l would have no problem with killing myself, as l would rather choose my own death rather than slowly dying in a nursing home or hospital. Pass me the extra morphine l say.

toodle pip

keith richards - life

I finished this the other day (It was a Christmas present from Rook and Deb). Much as l love Keef (the old bugger) and have a lot of respect for him, it was also a bit dispiriting with him going on about 'bitches', 'poofs' and threatening people with knives, shooting his way out of drug dens etc. He is an obviously intelligent man, and this does come across a lot in the book, but he also lets himself down (in my eyes at least) as it seems as though he is trying too hard to be 'heavy' or a bad mofo. I enjoyed the book a lot, but also felt a little bit of my respect for him fade away. Damn!

toodle pip

recent films seen - date night, the punisher, eric and ernie, and bob monkhouse

The FPO bought this on DVD and l managed to get about half way through it. What a crap film it is. I already liked both of the stars a lot, Tina Fey is great in 30 Rock, and Steve Carell is superb in the American version of The Office, but this was just not funny at all. At least it got our own Date Night out of the way for January (a New Years resolution by the FPO).

Thomas Jane plays the Frank Carson/The Punisher fighting Jigsaw (Dominic West) who have a bit of a grudge against each other (to say the least). Very violent and graphic, pretty fast moving, but also pretty silly in places (after all, it is based on the Marvel comics of the same name). Not bad at all really, l may even get round to watching the first ones.

Eric and Ernie (2011) is by BBC Wales and starred Bryan Dick as Ernie and Daniel Rigby as Eric. It was really good and the portrayal of Eric Morecambe was outstanding, such a difficult thing to pull off, playing Eric and also trying to be as funny. The film concentrated on the early years when they first met up, the (overbearing at times) encouragement of Eric's mother (played by Victoria Wood), the quiet support of Eric's father (Vic Reeves) and them struggling to make a name for themselves. I didn't realise that Ernie was well known before meeting Eric, but Eric was still a hell of a lot funnier.

The secret life of Bob Monkhouse, was a documentary about him, but concentrated on his archived collection of movies, videos, comics and audio recordings. I was drooling with envy looking at his collection, l would loved to have got my dirty little mitts on it. As l said to the FPO, you would never find the time to play them all, but it is good to have them there for when you want to play something specific. I had also forgotten what a great cartoonist he was. Somebody should reprint his old joke books exactly as they were, including all his doodles and drawings in them. They are works of art in their own right. Pity he was such a Thatcher supporting Tory.

toodle pip

homeless man with the golden voice

Give the man a job!

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what a long strange trip it's been

New Year has come and gone -We all had a great time - probably have to keep most of it a secret, but did go out in Catterick on New Years Day (which was packed and fun) and was in Super Boro on New Years Eve (stayed in at Robbo and Kerry's). Manchester United won 2-1 on New Years Day against WBA (watched it before driving back to Catterick), but are also still playing shite. That's it - transmition over and out

toodle fecking pip

adverts you don't see nowadays

Ah, the Golden age of advertising in the Good ol' U S of A. I don't think they could use those adverts now (and still stay fashionable).

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bad day at the office for the bullfighter

Hurrah! I have finished work until late on next week, so l am pretty damn happy. I have the odd email to send and some stuff to sort out, but lots and lots of lovely time off. Life for me is sweet!

Unlike the poor sod in the bullfight photo above. I bet that stung a bit. Good to see the bulls getting their own back now and again.

toodle pip

beer from the bottom

Genius - pure genius (and it does 20 pints in a minute)

toodle pip

the haymarket pub, newcastle

I was thinking about Christmas shopping and going into the Percy the other day, and remembered this old beauty, The Haymarket pub, which used to be in the Haymarket area of Newcastle, on the same side as The Percy. It was pulled down in 1987 to build a car park for the University (bloody town planners and students). What a pub it was, very rowdy indeed, with some excellent bar staff, a 'couldn't give a fuck' attitude, great juke box, and even a space upstairs for bands to practise in. It's a real shame when places like this (and The Broken Doll) get torn down, they are part of the towns history. Forget all these chrome and plastic pubs that are everywhere, some of the old ones need preserving. Probably my favourite time in The Haymarket was before the Rolling Stones gig at St James' Park in 1982. A load of us crammed in there (all pretty drunk), loads of spare tickets, and l also met a guy who called himself 'Telegram Sam' and was a huge Bolan fan. As you can imagine, the conversation was very geeky. I also managed to get some passes for the gig and stole a huge advertising banner from up the scaffolding inside the ground, borrowing a knife off a hells angel to cut it down. I am surprised l didn't kill myself climbing up the scaffolding drunk, but it was worth it (later sold in London at auction). Happy days indeed.

toodle pip

christmas is over

Right, that's Christmas pretty much out of the way for another year. Everyone has been visited apart from my brother, and now it is time for relaxing and eating. Called round to my sister's yesterday, then on to Joe's and had some whiskeys with him. Not in the FPO's good books afterwards for staying longer than agreed at Joe's (and probably drinking too much whiskey), and had to go back to work today, but l have taken tomorrow off. Going to chill out all day and do bugger all, just reading, watching TV and stuffing my fat face. Bliss.

toodle pip

christmas day

Good do last night. The FPO went to bed early as she was unwell, then Kerry also went up as she was knackered. That just left myself, Robbo, Rook and Deb drinking and talking crap. Rook and Deb left about midnight and me and Robbo stayed up chatting for about another hour. l know l went to bed at 1.30am, so it wasn't too late. We also stayed in all night as Robbo was also a poor little wounded soldier and said he didn't want to go out (although l bet he regretted saying that, as he called into The Wine Bar for 15 minutes on the way here and had a great time). Ponce.

Up early this morning as Robbo and Kerry stayed over and they got up early to stick in their goose (a bargain at £58). We all swopped pressies and had some bubbly and drinks, then we left them to burn the house down as we went to Stockton to Ann and Ken's for Christmas day. As usual, got loads more presents (including the new undies and socks). l took a load of photos while there but they are on the internal camera memory and l don't know where the lead is to get them off. Little fat head was quiet all day, mostly asleep, although l don't know how with all the noise. Lots of bottles of red wine was drunk and the FPO drove Debs car home so Rook could have a drink as well. Time for the old Christmas TV to work it's magic now, as l managed to phone my brother and sister earlier in the day, so l have bugger all to do now.

toodle pip

party time

That's it for now. Finished my work for a couple of days and am now waiting for guests to arrive for a Christmas Eve get together. The FPO has been preparing way too much food (as usual) and is still ill. l am still ill but shall overcome it. The guests tonight are Robbo and Kerry, and Rook and Deb. Dazzer and Louise have backed out, probably too scared of the killer virus we have. l remember Dazzer having his (so called) swine flu a while ago and crying like a girl "The lights are hurting my eyes etc". Amateurs. More booze for us l say. Let the mayhem commence!

toodle pip

newcastle shopping

Went off to sunny Newcastle today with the FPO to do the Christmas shopping. It took bleeding ages getting into the car park by the Haymarket, as there was a traffic gridlock for some reason. It was also freezing, but luckily l knew what l had to get so it did not take too long, plenty of time for a swift ale in The Percy Arms, one of the few old pubs in town that is still rough. To tell the truth, l felt like being sick when l was swigging my drink, but traditions have to be adhered to. Went to The Tyneside Theatre cafe for lunch (on the FPO's orders), and then she left her eggs on toast. Pah! Back home and wrapping up pressies, both coughing and a spluttering. Nice. Last day at work tomorrow for at least two whole days! Can't wait.

toodle pip

back at work and still bleeding grotty

What a pain this flu is (or whatever Godforesaken illness it is). Back at work again today and everyone is ill. Thought l would be a good lad and show my face to prevent other people skiving (as l would usually have done). Now the first one to be off will look like a right girl. Going Christmas shopping tomorrow in Newcastle, so that had better not be too cold, or l am writing a strong letter of complaint. early to bed tonight methinks.

toodle pip

bloody ill again and l am off work

I have been in bed all day (well, till 2pm, then in a hot bath, as l have a bad case of the swine flu again. Luckily (or not) l was off work today anyway, so l have just been suffering, dozing, watching TV and reading. Back in at work tomorrow, cant wait. The only bonus is that a lot of other people are also ill with the same thing - HA!

toodle pip

working while ill

Still struggling on and going to work, although no-one else would manage it (l actually feel a bit better today). Still busy as anything, still going to the hospital all the time, l am ploughing through everyone's supervisions and l have also had to make another visit to the cop shop with a client.

Happy days indeed

toodle pip

no football and l have a snotty nose

What a bastard! l was really looking forward to the Chelsea v Manchester United game today, but it has been called off because of the snow. To top that, l am either getting Swine Flu or l am allergic to Tubbs being in the house, as l am pretty damn snotty. Anyone else would be dead but l shall struggle on - nearly holiday time again!

toodle pip

those crazy japanese (part 482) - toilet themed restaurant

Those crazy Japanese have only gone and done it again, it's a restaurant that has a toilet theme in more ways than one. The only thing that spoils it being about those crazy Japanese is the fact that it is the Merton in Taiwan. Damn!

toodle pip

hedgehogs taking a bath

This is great but has too many pictures for me to transfer over. It's hedgehogs taking a bath and they are just soooooo cute! I think l have turned into a girl.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/hedgehogs-taking-baths

toodle pip

james brown in boston 1968

The night he stopped the riots, the night after MLK was murdered

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still going to northallerton

No great change at the moment. Nozzer's still dead and in the garden, Tubbs is still shocked and making me sneeze a lot, and l still have to go to Northallerton (although an operation was performed yesterday, so it's not for much longer).

I took these pictures on the way back today, not a bad day really, although by Christ, I live in the middle of nowhere.

toodle pip

red sky by northallerton

So, Nozzer is now dead and buried in the garden, and l am back at work going to Northallerton hospital every day. At least the views are nice.

Tubbs has now come indoors, as there is meant to be a cold front arriving, so there seemed no point in delaying it. He is currently looking stunned, that's for sure. l also bet he is red hot compared to being out in all weathers. In a couple of weeks there will be moulted rabbit hair all over the place. who knows, it might even hide the rest of the dust and crap that is already there.

toodle pip

nozzers last night

This is the last night little Nozzer is going to have, as he has an appointment at the vets tomorrow morning, and will more than likely get put down, unless a miracle happens in the meantime. I think Jacko must be suspecting something as she has been lying with Nozzer in the living room. Nozzer just can't walk anymore, is shitting phlegm and we feel as though we are just dragging his last days out, so want to stop him suffering. Not looking forward to it at all, but at least l have the day off. Hope the ground is not too hard, as l will be on the old grave digging duties again. The garden will be full soon at this rate.

toodle pip

the white ribbon (die weisse band)

Watched this tonight with the FPO. It's a black and white German language film set in a small village just before the outbreak of World War One by Michael Haneke, originally intended to be a TV series. A series of events happen in the village, a doctors horse is tripped up by a wire, kids are beaten and abused, and someone dies after an accident. The film lasts about 140 minutes, so the FPO was getting a bit restless near the end. At the close, you are still not sure who has done stuff, but l am fine with that. It is meant to represent the ways terrorism, religious doubt, intolerance, authoritarianism and fear can grow and mutate. Superb.

toodle pip

trash shadow sculpture

I don't know the name of the artist that did this (and l certainly can't be bothered trying to find out on t'internet), but l like it. It must have taken ages to put together.

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dresie and casie by roger ballen

Dresie and Casie, twins, Western Transvaal, 1993 by photographer Roger Ballen. Twins you would not like to meet in a dark alley.

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nozzer's on his last legs

What a crappy turn of events. Little Nozzer, my favourite pet recently (no, l haven't forgotten Mowgli), has suddenly gone downhill, and looks as the though he might die in the next couple of days. He has been to the vets this week (not by himself of course), but cannot walk or stand up straight a lot of the time and is also pooing phlegm rather than proper rabbit poos that can be eaten (and lord knows l've tried).

He has been ill in the past with his puss and operations (see the photos above), but never as bad as this.

l love the little boy and he upset me tonight by making strange noises and licking me a lot when l picked him up. He does usually lick me, but never straight away when l pick him up. To me, it seemed like he was doing it while he can. Obviously l might be anthropomorphising his response, but l do know the little boy well. What a bastard, l will be so upset when he goes.

Tubbs will benefit by coming indoors and getting a lot of love (and he deserves it as well), but little Nozzer has been great, and l will really miss him.

Happy bloody Christmas.

toodle pip

the snow has gone and so have these bastards

The snow has gone and so have these bastards. I reckon they have been waiting for me. Must be something to do with what l did to their dad last year. Haven't seen him since the hot water incident.

toodle pip

everest - not as easy as you think

Because a lot of people have managed to climb Mount Everest, it is sometimes thought to be easy (especially by loud-mouthed braggarts such as my good self in the ale house). It may well be easier to do nowadays, especially with the guides and new fangled equipment, but it still takes a mighty heavy toll on some people (mostly rich ones, so it's not all bad).

For more information

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Everest

toodle pip

no operation at northallerton hospital

One of the people l support has been in hospital in Northallerton for the last four weeks following a stroke. They eventually decided to take him for an operation on Friday, so l went there before the operation, saw him taken away to be operated on, and said l would be back after the operation.

When l returned, he still seemed pretty cheerful and said he was not sore or sleepy, which l found a bit odd. l then went to find out more information, and was then told that the operation had not gone ahead, as one of the medications he was taking would make it too risky, therefore they were changing the medication, had to give it a week to get out of his system, and then do the operation after that.

What a waste of time for everyone involved, you would think it would be somebody's job to check whatever medication he was on well before he was in the operating theatre, after all, he had already been in the hospital for four weeks and they were the ones that prescribed the medication to him. His family were not happy, l can tell you that.

While l have been visiting, the snow has been pretty bad, but l struggled through. It has just buggered off in the last day or so, let's hope the bastard stuff doesn't return, l hate it (bah humbug!)

toodle pip.

john lennon playboy interview

It was 30 years ago this month (8th or 9th, depending on your time zone).

Here's an interesting interview John and Yoko did for playboy just before.

http://www.john-lennon.com/playboyinterviewwithjohnlennonandyokoono.htm

toodle pip

hp lovecraft - the tomb - the cats of ulthar - the statement of randolph carter

I had a long day at work yesterday (8am until 11pm, then sleepover), but at least l survived the night. With my depression about having to go back to work in the first place, that was a bleeding miracle.

rather sadly, l woke up about 5am and couldn't sleep, so l put on my ipod to listen to stuff. Nothing unusual in that, apart from this time it was audio books of horror stories by HP Lovecraft. Pretty good they were as well, he is one hell of a fine writer, and the stories were read in a way that did not annoy me. That, trust me, is always a bonus, as l am so easily annoyed by these things.

Anywho's, the best bit was nearly falling asleep to The Statement of Randolph Carter, with it's

early calling from the depths (l won't spoil the story). Just what you need as you try and drift off into the land of nod. I could feel my body kind of reacting to it, feeling scared in a kind of hairs rising kind of way, but was also aware of what was happening and being fascinated by it and trying to encourage my body/subconsciousness to carry on being scared, although l know that is not a really feasible thing to do (still worth trying though).

A splendid time was had by all, the stories were good, and l still had time to listen to Alice Cooper and Robert Harris (Fatherland (1992)Enigma (1995)Archangel (1999)Pompeii (2003)The Ghost (2007)

on Desert Island Discs. Result! (although l am knackered now).

toodle pip