my secret stash at work has been found

This note was pinned to my secret stash at work the other day by Kelly, one of my fellow workers. It actually looks a lot worse than you would imagine, as my secret stash is some guinea pig food l had hidden away for Toffee, the pet at work, as everyone else try to just feed it vegetables.
As you can probably guess, l have the food stashed away, and feed it at night.
Now it looks like l'll have to find another hiding place for it. The hunt is on.

toodle pip

everybody loves a pirate

Who's this little scamp dressed up as a pirate?  Non other than the current president of the good old US of A (that's America to non  Americans) , who has just faced down the Republicans and the Tea Party. Yessireeee ladies and gentleman, it's non other than Barack Obama himself.  Because everybody loves a pirate.

On a related note, l used to be a bootlegger, rogue and rodgerer, and here's my new parrot talking back.   Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr me shipmates, a man and his parrot, what on Gods green earth could be more satisfying? (or could send them both insane).  Man or feathered beast - it's a battle of will and intellect (I think l am in trouble)

toodle pip

new phone

Just bought a new phone today as l needed a new one and wanted one with a better camera than my old one (one, one one). This one (an LG) is still cheap but has a 5mp camera on it. Good stuff, unless l start spending serious money. Now all l have to do is work out how to use it.

toodle pip

two idiots in the living room

Both as stupid as each other.

toodle pip

nozzers last night

This is the last night little Nozzer is going to have, as he has an appointment at the vets tomorrow morning, and will more than likely get put down, unless a miracle happens in the meantime. I think Jacko must be suspecting something as she has been lying with Nozzer in the living room. Nozzer just can't walk anymore, is shitting phlegm and we feel as though we are just dragging his last days out, so want to stop him suffering. Not looking forward to it at all, but at least l have the day off. Hope the ground is not too hard, as l will be on the old grave digging duties again. The garden will be full soon at this rate.

toodle pip

nozzer's on his last legs

What a crappy turn of events. Little Nozzer, my favourite pet recently (no, l haven't forgotten Mowgli), has suddenly gone downhill, and looks as the though he might die in the next couple of days. He has been to the vets this week (not by himself of course), but cannot walk or stand up straight a lot of the time and is also pooing phlegm rather than proper rabbit poos that can be eaten (and lord knows l've tried).

He has been ill in the past with his puss and operations (see the photos above), but never as bad as this.

l love the little boy and he upset me tonight by making strange noises and licking me a lot when l picked him up. He does usually lick me, but never straight away when l pick him up. To me, it seemed like he was doing it while he can. Obviously l might be anthropomorphising his response, but l do know the little boy well. What a bastard, l will be so upset when he goes.

Tubbs will benefit by coming indoors and getting a lot of love (and he deserves it as well), but little Nozzer has been great, and l will really miss him.

Happy bloody Christmas.

toodle pip

german lepus rabbit

Look at the size of that bastardo. Nothing more to add really.

Oh shit l have just remembered - the guy is breeding them for food. What a twat. Get a cow, food and milk whenever you want, and if you have enough space, get chickens (food, eggs, and sex if you want it).

toodle pip

natural history museum wildlife photos

This is one of this years entries for the Wildlife Photograph Competition by the Natural History Museum (I won't bother with the sponser's name). It's an black oil beetle taken by Juan Jesus Ahumada. Pretty damn good l think, but it will have to go some way to beat the 2005 winning picture (as featured on the 2007 Wilco album Sky Blue Sky) of a peregrine falcon chasing some starlings over Rome (by Manuel Presti). Not as good as my picture of Nozzer though (lovely little boy that he is!).

toodle pip

when mowgli was still with us - no room on the settee

mowgli

I loved my cat

Just lying there

With his pointed ears

And his greying hair

He was sometimes ignored

As he was often demanding

And sometimes he stank

While he slept on the landing

When you went to the shops

He’d walk by your side

And while you were shopping

In the bushes he’s hide

He’d been shot with an airgun

And had a hole in his side

That caused trouble weeing

And he very nearly died

His breath, well it smelt

And his walk wasn't straight

When you tried to call him in

Well he'd always be late

You see his hearing it went

And his eyes they got dim

His mind it got muddled

And his body got thin

His nose became dry

And his eyes became glazed

And when he got scared

His hackles got raised

His persistent meows

They kept me awake

He was always after water

Which l'd give and he'd take

And he sometimes had seizures

And often he'd wet

Be distressed when he woke

But calmed down with a pet

And l treated him bad

Which l really regret

And spent a small fortune

On trips to the vet

But He was a mate

For twenty odd years

When l think of him now

l can't hold back the tears

We grew up together

And l got old too

I even miss his breath

That stank of his poo

He was sometimes demanding

And sometimes a pain

But l would give anything

To stroke him again

JD AUG 2010 (with thanxs to James Stewart)

toodle pip

cute animals

I am a busy lad today, so here's some cute animals, just so I can keep up with posting daily

toodle pip