the colburn lodge is being renovated

At long last!  It doesn't look it in these photographs, but at long last, The Colburn Lodge  pub in Catterick is being renovated.  Apparently it is going to be some kind of restaurant which will also sell meat.  That is the gossip the the pub, but who knows, it might be completely wrong.
No doubt we will be finding out soon, but l can't see it being open again until well into next year, no matter what is being done.
At least it is not being knocked down, as it is a local landmark, and the scene of many a happy night out over the years, especially when 60 squadron used to be based over the road from it.

toodle pip

the poems of nasty nick

A couple of poems by 'Nasty' Nick (D.C Nicholson), 'The Woods At Rollencourt' and 'Dole'. He's a fellow l have known for a few years in the pub, and trust me - he's the last person you would expect to be writing poems. However, l got to talking to him about poetry ages ago (as you do) and he gave me some of his that l said l would put up on my blog at some stage.  It's only taken me about two years to get around to it, and there are more to follow, which l will try not to leave so long before sticking them up.

toodle pip

injuring myself like a drunken fucking idiot

 My knee after being cleaned up

My now filthy tracksuit top

 Some scratches on my face after being cleaned up

 My swollen lip after cleaning

My bloody nose just after l got home

I had a bit of a mishap yesterday evening, purely my own fault, as l am a fucking idiot.

I had been working overnight, and then in the morning, and called round to see Joe afterwards.  From there, l went to The Wine Bar, where l was pleasantly surprised to see Fred, as l had passed by a military funeral at Hipswell earlier in the day, and thought it could have been his, as he has cancer, is not well, and he used to be high ranking in the army.  I ended up staying out with him and others, and as l am trying to behave myself and not drink and drive, l left my car and decided to run home.  This may have been the slight flaw in the evenings entertainment, as l fell over about halfway home and pretty much landed on my face.  I obviously leapt back to my feet again with the reflexes of a meerkat and foolishly decided to carry on running, resulting in a second fall, with pretty much the same result.  What a drunken buffoon you may be thinking, and you could well be right, but that was not all.  When l eventually arrived home in my bloody and scratched up state, I went upstairs to clean myself up a bit, and then fell down the stairs.  It was like a one man display of top notch stupidity from start to finish.  The FPO had been house sitting at her parents while they are away on holiday, but we went to Richmond today to buy some books for my nieces birthdays, and she was openly laughing in my face at my cuts and swollen lip. I can't say l blame her, as l look like daffy duck at the moment.  My current injuries are:

Both knees scratched, swollen and sore

Both shoulders (and my bum) are sore from falling down the stairs 

Both hands scratched trying to halt the forward falls

Large scratches on my left cheek (plus it's swollen)

Scratches on my nose, and lip, plus my lip is swollen

Two scratches on my forehead, plus one small dent in my skull (again), and another cut on my scalp (again)

It's a good job my nose had already been broken playing football, and l am indestructible.  This sort of thing would have been the death of a lesser man.

Next time though, l'll order a bleeding taxi.

toodle pip

a quiet night at jt's

After sitting around watching TV on Saturday, l managed to persuade the FPO to hit the White Shops for a drink, as we had already been drinking wine, had run out, and it was only 7.30pm.  We called in at The Wine Bar first, where there was about 3 other people drinking in there.  Nothing that unusual, but on stepping into to J.T's (just around the corner), we thought there must be a football match on the big screen, as it was heaving.  We had only gone and forgotten it was a late Halloween do, so it was  a pretty fun night, mainly talking to Michael and watching the FPO fall over dancing.  She is certainly a classy act once she's had a few ales.  A fun night for all of the family.

toodle pip

dodgy people in the arc

'The Arc'  Sports and Social Club in Colburn, Catterick Garrison, is a pub/club actually called 'The Hanson', (but everyone calls it 'The Arc').  It  is a place l sometimes descend upon to watch the football and have a crack on with some of the locals.  To describe most of them as working class scumbags (like myself) would be an understatement.  Here are three of them, demonstrating the effects that frequenting The Arc on a regular basis has on you. They are Ian, Jacket and Dogface.  I have only called Ian by his proper name as l can't remember his nickname (Gimmy? Dummy? it's something.. mmy) and l can't be bothered phoning anybody to find out, but pretty much everyone has a nickname, including me. All are (as you can imagine) pretty crazy, but also sound lads as well. Rachel (Jacket's missus, known as Mrs Jacket) now even runs the place as Cav/Kav/Mr K/Irish Jimmy (all the same person) has retired. This (sad to say) is one of the environments l thrive in, as, living across the road for years, putting the hours in with the nuttiness, drinking and drugs, (plus being devilishly handsome, good at football and pool, bright and funny), l have earnt my spurs. There is a large residential development just about to start behind the club, and lots more families will be moving in and living near it.  Some of them are in for a shock when they head out to their new local for the first time.   Before you wonder, no doctors or lawyers drink in the place, and l can't see that changing in the near future.  Recommended on a Sunday morning when the football team are playing at home, and the drinks are cheap.

toodle pip

the crown in middlesbrough

This is the price Lager should be all of the time.  I picked this up in The Crown in Middlesbrough a week or so ago, as l was so impressed with their prices.  Around Catterick way, a lager is over £3, unless you head to a working mens club such as The Arc at Colburn.  The Crown however, is a large pub with a dance floor, seats, a juke box (and DJ at night), a mixed crowd (aimed at students, but good for old farts like myself), bouncers in case of trouble, and plenty of pool tables.  It used to have a chalk outline of a body on the floor, but this was removed, probably due to people like me lying on it (drugs were often involved).  Anyway, get yourself in there if you end up in Boro and haven't yet been, it's the big pub on the corner on Linthorpe road, which you can't really miss.  It's quiet early on, but that gives you time to chat and hone those magical pool playing skills. I'm saying all of this, and l don't even work for them, so it must be good (and cheap).  There's a door charge later on, though it's not expensive (can't remember how much, as l don't usually pay).  Miles better than the likes of Walkabout etc.  Public service announcement is now over.  Eat this message.

toodle pip

more paul and robbo's bum

The sort of nonsense l have had to put up with all weekend.  Paul flaking out in our house with a squirrel on his head, and waking up to Robbo's bum after Richmond Live.  What joy.

toodle pip

paul and rab outside the wine bar

A long weekend is ahead, as l have just picked up my brother Paul, and he is staying at our place for a few days.  Here is the start of the madness, Paul outside the Wine bar in Catterick with old Rabbie, who is still hanging on to life with a mad Scottish determination.  More reports later.  It will get messy.

toodle pip

spike whining in jt's

Spike, the crazy Staffordshire Bull Terrier that belongs to Clancy, whining like a little girl in JT's bar yesterday.
What a pathetic racket for a supposedly hard dog.

toodle pip

paul and linda, family and the past

It's all go at the moment, as l am back at work this afternoon, visiting Joe in hospital, and entertaining my brother Paul, who has come up from Leeds for a few days. Myself, the FPO, Paul, Linda and Shane all went out to The Wine Bar last night, which unfortunately for our wallets and my health, let us stay until about 1am.  I had been out with my brother to J.T's the night before, so l am certainly putting the hours in (as well as doing what seems like hundreds of CD's for him). No wonder l can't get rid of my bleeding cough - l'm knackered.  I need sleep, drugs, and time off work (not necessarily in that order). It's been interesting quizzing Paul and Linda about our childhood though. Paul's happiest memory is playing in a swing park (non with our parents). Linda said hers was going back and staying in Liverpool with our grandparents (non with our parents). Mine is going to the football with my uncle Ray (non with our parents). Paul also remembered a time when he wasn't sure if our dad was going to attack him with a hammer he suddenly produced when calling round the house. That was a pretty barmy situation, but it all worked out fine in the end. He just attacked the TV, washing machine, radiogram etc with the hammer, smashing everything up (he was getting divorced from our mother). He then threw the budgie cage across the room (with the budgie still in it). Happy days indeed (and that's just a small taster of the madness).   At least we all still get on, even if we probably all have different fathers (mummy was no angel).  l also managed to dig out an old photograph of Paul with his dad, just after he had been born. How cute - he hasn't changed much.

toodle pip

the bleeding weather in middlesbrough yesterday

I went through to Middlesbrough yesterday to do a bit of bobbing and weaving (and diving), and just as l was arriving the sky became mighty dark and foreboding. It was bright sunshine when l set off, but it soon changed, and it was chucking it down with sleet and snow on the drive back. Thankfully though, that soon stopped, the sky cleared up again, and as the FPO was still busy doing her assignments, l buggered off to The Arc and JT's for a fine old time with Ritchie and Shuggs (although l think Shuggs may have put some alcohol in my drink, as l was a bit tipsy on my return).

toodle pip

footie, the new sky box and the pub

I was out and about on Friday and made various promises that l was going to to to a local pub (hello The Arc!) to watch the Charity Shield game.

Obviously I could not be bothered when it came to it, and as l was also setting up a new Sky box in the morning, I was unsure if l could be arsed to appear.

As is took me ages setting up the box, I decided to go and meet everyone at half time (God knows why, l hate leaving the house, everyone's a boring bastard, but.................................................................................. l'm a sociable guy (when it suits me).

When l got there, United were 2-0 down, so it looked pretty bleak, and there was a lot of piss taking by the Liverpool fans.

However... thanks to the glory that is United, they came back to win 3-2, with Nani going round the goalie (Hart) like it was 1968 again (but in the last minute of injury time).

Joy Joy Joy to the World.

Football

Praise the lord.

You are back.

toodle lpip

out with dazzer on saturday

Dazzer and Louise called up on Saturday as he is trying to catch me up in the orphan stakes (I am however, still the winner).

Myself and Dazzer got dropped off at White shops for a few ales, a chat, and a thrashing for him at pool (which l was duty bound to provide, so l did).

As the photo above shows, the weather was excellent, although it did get better later on, but hardly summer time weather.

Had a good time, and Dazzer met some mad guy he used to work with, (who didn't recognise him at first when he was outside, but said we looked like a couple of 'rum' lads). The guy (Andy l think) said he and his wife had been together since they were 17 and 16, and been married 29 years. Amazing dedication.

We didn't get phoned when we were out, although we said we would probably be a couple of hours, so Dazzer obviously had some kind of up to date sympathy card. I'll have to get my hands on one myself.

I've still got to remember to lock the door when they move closer to us though.

toodle pip

mmmm.... the walk to the pub

Nothing better than a sunny day with nothing to do but take a leisurely walk to the pub for a couple of ales.

Mmmm...ales.

toodle pip

last day off before work .. spring is here...

The remaining idiot rabbit in the garden yesterday

The remaining idiot of a cat

The food for Ken's (sick boys) birthday at Stockton

The back of Dazzer's pants - they look a bit suspicious

Rather sadly, this is my last day off before heading back into work tomorrow, no doubt to a shed load of work and problems to be solved.

I have been off since last Tuesday afternoon (last Wednesday was my first day off), and it seems like ages ago, although (of course) it also seems to have flown by and l now have work entering my tiny little mind again.

Myself and the FPO have been out and about (to visit the family for a birthday do, off to watch a post grunge band at JT's, round Richmond castle etc), but most of the time we have been at home relaxing and generally chilling out.

She was back to work on Tuesday, so l have had some time by myself to read, play music, watch TV and doss about (the usual stuff).

I have managed to cut the bloody grass again (two bin fulls packed tight), but no decorating has been done (what a surprise!).

It's my last night of freedom tonight before the toil continues, but at least l have just had a phone call to meet old Joe down the pub at 4.45pm, so l suppose that will top off the holiday (to go with Manchester United's reserves beating Shalke 04 last night).

Ah well, forget about tomorrow and enjoy the rest of today while l can. The sun is shining, the weather is sweet (but windy).

As Tom Lahrer would say..

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here.

Life is skittles and life is beer.

I think the loveliest time of the year

Is the spring! I do - Don't you? 'Course you do.

but there's one thing that makes spring complete for me

and makes every Sunday a treat for me

All the world seems in tune

On a spring afternoon

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

toodle pip.

weekend fun and games

Been a busy old weekend. Went to the caravan park on Friday evening for Dazzer's birthday, taking Nora with us. Ken and Ann were there as well (they took Nora back), so we had a chill out (with chilli) and sank a few ales. When we arrived at the site, Louise and Ann came to open the gate for us, and just as they got there, there was a loud bang, from a crash on the main road, just as you turn into the site. Louise nabbed my phone, which l foolishly thought was for her to take some pictures, but she rang for an ambulance instead (damn!). We went up to the crash, but apart from some people being in shock, there were no casualties or major injuries, despite the land rover involved having turned over onto its roof. I thought l was going to have to get stuck in with my extensive first aid knowledge, but it was not needed. Still couldn't get any photos, as Louise had then buggered off with my phone, so l missed out there. Anyhows.... the FPO drove back at the end of the evening, so we could sleep in our own bed, as we where meeting Robbo and Kerry the next day.

This we duly did, with me and Robbo going to the Wine Bar and JT's, while the girls went for lunch and met us later. Sat outside in the sun, regaling the other lads with our saucy tales, then me and the FPO stayed out till about 8pm with Lonnie and Emma (but we were a bit tipsy by then). Another excellent day.

Quiet day in on Sunday as we both had some work to do (after l had watched the footie). Louise and Dazzer* came to visit in the afternoon, and l had to drop off some work in Richmond, so that meant a trip to the shops for sugar and wine. Baths, reading and TV was the order of the evening.

It's a hard life.

*Suppose l had better add that Lauren was also involved in the weekends events

toodle pip

wine bar talk about help for heroes and predeterminism

Had a good night in The Wine Bar this evening, met up with Old Joe, Ritchie, Joe Lynch, Larry and The FPO and argued about various subjects, but mainly Help For Heroes and Predeterminism /Predestination.

Although troops who have been wounded should have the best possible care, l hate all the Help for Heroes talk around the troops as l feel that it serves as a propaganda tool which has the effect of more people joining the Army. I would not mind this so much, but most of the people joining up would have had a poor education, be working class, and more than likely be from the inner cities, with no great career or University places looming ahead of them. Obviously some poshos go to Sandhurst or join as officers, but at least they will be making more of an informed choice and have a lot more options in life available to them. There is also a lot of bravado involved, going with your mates and 'looking forward to some action'. The reality is a lot of ruined lives. We might as well go back to having the old Lord Kitchiner 'Your country needs you' posters.

As for the philosophical talk, some around the table were believers and did think their whole life was already mapped out, which l found amazing. To me, life is just a series of random events which we can try and control and make the best out of, but then that is it, no Heaven, Hell or judgement. The sweet relief of death. Only joking at the end there (the sweet relief bit), but life should be lived and enjoyed as much as possible, just try to be good and not hurt anyone else. Easier said than done and l have been a right bastard in the past, but at least l am trying to be better. As for death, when l have too many aches and pains and life becomes not worth the effort, l would have no problem with killing myself, as l would rather choose my own death rather than slowly dying in a nursing home or hospital. Pass me the extra morphine l say.

toodle pip

world cup final bbq

Went through to the sunny Boro last night to watch the World Cup final at Robbo and Kerries. They decided to do a BBQ, which turned out pretty good, but took a while before the coals got hot. There was smoke everywhere, the wind started getting up, and it also got colder. Great weather. Had a good time though (apart from not winning with my bet on Holland) as there was also plenty of booze. We were too full to have cheesecake for desert, but one of them got bought home and consumed back in sunny Catterick. Very nice it was as well, being a Tesco special that only cost £1. Bargain!

As usual, the weather today is still crappy and raining, and it has been pretty crap for all the days I have been off work (since last Tuesday). I bet the sun starts shinning again this week when I am back at work. I blame God.

Luckily I am off to the pub today to hopefully see Joseph (if the old git is still alive), so things are not too bad (although the FPO wanted me elsewhere). He had better turn up, or I will be in trouble (not for the first time).

toodle pip

down the arc

Been out to watch the football down the Arc, and the results were shite. More news tomorrow - I'm a bit tiddly

toodle pip

dazzer's birthday

A splendid time guaranteed for all. We all went out for Dazzer's birthday tonight at the Indian at White shops, which was OK, pretty quiet, and the food was not that spectacular (should have gone to Shute road). By we, I mean Dazzer and Louise, me, Mandy, Ruck, Debbie, Maria and John. We all ate loads and got pretty drunk, apart from Louise, who is with child and had the scan to prove it. Who's it is is anyones guess but at least she's happy (only joking!). Couldn't make head or tail of the scan though, just a smudge to me, but I do think I saw a snout there somewhere. Anyway, off to J.T's afterwards for more drinkiepoos, leaving about 1pm I guess, can't really remember. On the good side, I didn't collapse again so I managed to retain a little bit of dignity (what little I still possess), although I did manage to scratch my nose, which I did not realise until it was pointed out to me and the blood started running down it. Damn! What can I say? I have issues. Argued playfully with a conductor guy at the bar in J.T's about music not having to be perfect, which was a bit of a laugh (I was right, he was wrong). Walked home with Ruck and Debbie as the rest of them buggered off back to Stockton in the car (Louise driving). Same time again next year!(at Shute road).

toodle pip