art brut - darlington 15th october 2011

Went to see Art Brut last night at Inside Out in Darlington, only to discover the venue had changed to a place round the corner, and the start time was 9.30pm. This certainly pleased me, as l was drinking, but the FPO was not so happy as she was driving back, which meant only an odd snifter of ale for her (unlucky!). We decided to go to The Green Dragon to see what that is like now, as l had not been in there for ages, and used to drink there all the time a few years ago. It has certainly changed. It used to be pretty scruffy, but it is now like a miniature disco with hardly any seats, and is crap. Luckily Art Brut saved the evening later on, as they were fucking brilliant, really rocking out (maaan) and also funny, with Eddie Argos walking amongst the crowd and ad libbing tales. I thought they would be good (which is why l bought the tickets in the first place), but they were much better than expected. It's just a shame there was not extra publicity and more people there to see it, as it must be depressing for them when the crowd is small. Rather sadly, that will probably be the cause of them breaking up, if they feel they are getting nowhere, or even going backwards with their career. I'll have to offer my services as publicity man, or it will all end in tears. If l manage to upload the video l filmed at the gig, l will stick it up later, but don't hold your breath. In the meantime, here's a clip from Germany.

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bring me the horizon fight in salt lake city, utah 2011

Ah, this is like gigs in the old days when the punk wars were raging. Happy days.

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the pajama club - daylight on later with jools

I'm not a big fan of Crowded House by any means, but this new offering from Mr Finn and 'er indoors is very splendid indeed.

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could you pass the citizenship test?

Life in the UK: could you pass the citizenship test?

Yesterday David Cameron unveiled changes planned to the Life in the UK citizenship test, which must be taken by all those seeking indefinite leave to remain or who apply for a British passport. Could you pass the test as it stands?

The test is here.

Could you pass the test? l certainly couldn't.

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grave of the fireflies - isao takahata (1988)

I watched 'The Grave of The Fireflies' with the FPO the other night, and she was in tears nearly all the way through it. That does not mean it is a bad film (or l had done something wrong), in fact it is quite the opposite, as it is superb, although pretty gloomy. Based on a true story of the same name (by Akiyuki Nosaka) of the bombing of Kobe during the Second World War and his sisters death through malnutrition, it deals with a young boy (Seita) trying to survive and keep his sister alive after Kobe has been destroyed, and the hardships they endure. Brilliant, and who cares if it is animation, you soon get sucked into the story and swept away with the tale. Very similar to the 'Barefoot Gen' graphic novels by Keiji Nakazawa, which are also superb and highly recommended. Go and get your money out and buy this stuff immediately! (the film might still be on Sky, so funds can maybe be saved on that).

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rebel without a cause - nicholas ray (1955)

Rebel Without A Cause is a tale of poor ( but middle class) misunderstood, loner teenagers, trying to gain acceptance, love from their families, and friendship with their peer groups. There are homosexual undertones between Jim Stark (James Dean) and Plato (Sal Mineo), and (to my eyes at least), possible past sexual abuse on Judy (Natalie Wood) by her father. Maybe l am just reading too much into it, but l do have an eye for such stuff (and a superb Gaydar). The teenagers certainly look way too old for school, and a right rum lot they are as well. Two kids die, but Jim (Jamie to his close friends) gets the girl and his father eventually gets some courage and stands up like a man, so all is OK after all (apart from the fact all of the stars died young in real life). Some hammy and dated acting is involved, but it is still a classic (if you are an old git like me).

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garth crooks on wayne rooneys 3 match ban

What an idiot (both of them).

"We expected a one game ban"

"Two games are a hammer blow"

"three is a dagger to the heart"

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me and the happy plastic dinosaurs

I am nearly as ecstatic as the Dinosaurs in the bag. I have just finished work until Tuesday afternoon, it's Manchester United away at Liverpool tomorrow morning (one of the the most important games of the season), I have new books to read, DVD's to watch, pubs to frequent, and l am off to see Art Brut tomorrow night. Hurrah!!!!!!!!!

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herbert mason and the st pauls pictures

A whole in the floor of the Cathedral

Mr Mason himself

St Paul's amid the rubble

THE iconic picture

Following on from the last post, featuring colour photographs from the blitz, here are the iconic pictures of St Paul's Cathedral, taken by Herbert Mason (the main one from the roof of the Daily Mail) during the bombing of London in 1940. These are fine examples of when a photo can be more evocative in black and white. Classy stuff, and more information and photographs can be found here.

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colour pictures from the blitz

You often see pictures of the bombing in London and elsewhere, but they are usually in black and white.

While those photographs can be really effective, it is a lot better seeing the damage caused in colour.

These pictures are from the London Blitz, and because of the colour, it is easier to empathise with the misery, destruction, and effects on everyday people's lives, as the photos could easily have been taken recently (apart from the old buses).

What a crap load of clearing up and rebuilding that had to be done afterwards. Rather them than me anyday.

War - URGHH! What is it good for?

The top picture reminds me of Liverpool when l was a kid, due to the much forgotten aftermath of the Liverpool Blitz, when Hitler even bombed his half brothers (Alois Hitler Jr) house (102 Upper Stanhope Street).

And my granny's chip shop.

Bastard.

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mr and mrs frank kern - 1908

With 'Bobby'. Inbreeding has a lot to answer for, even in them old days. Mrs Kern looks resigned to a life of hell on earth.

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the troggs tapes

Something l have never ( ever) got tired of hearing. The Troggs Tapes is a recording of the band arguing while in the recording studio, and it's priceless, comedy gold.

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a nipple on a foot

No it's not mine, but it is hilarious (unless you are the poor sod who has to walk on it).

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the egypt holiday may be off

My thinking hat

Damn! This week I was about to sort out another trip away with work, and the destination was probably going to be Egypt, maybe in the first week of December. That looks like it may be a no go, as it is starting to look a bit dodgy over there (see here). It looks like I will have to get my thinking hat on again and come up with somewhere else less volatile.

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margaret thatcher - milk snatcher

God l hated (still do) that woman. "You just want the poor to be poorer". What a fucking joke she should have been, but unfortunately, it she was all too real and the right wing loved her. Rather sadly, a lot of the country was taken abroad the Tory bandwagon (at great cost to Labour), and it appears to be going that way again. What a bunch of rich smug right wing, insular looking twats.

One of my favourite sites is this - Is Margaret Thatcher dead yet?. If you think it's distasteful, unlucky and tough. I'm looking forward to the day she dies and will have a drink to celebrate. I'm sure it will be sad for her family, but l can't stand them either.

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brassed of - coco the scab

The sort of childrens entertainer l would actually like to see.

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los exitos de sex pistols - por los punk rockers

This is undoubtedly one of the greatest punk LPs of all time. I have been listening to it tonight (while the FPO watched the X factor), and l had forgotten how really 'out there' it is. Recorded in 1978 as a cash in on the punk movement, it is a Spanish album, which is a straight copy of The |Sex Pistols album. Why's it so good? Because it also sounds like they are just going for it punk style, with the singer not even having a proper translation of the lyrics, so he just sings anything that sounds right (with attitude). One example is 'I'm a lazy seven' instead of 'I'm a lazy sod', but there are many, many more. The girl on the cover looks like she was dragged off a street and dressed as a punk, and the production is pretty 'raw' (to say the least. A bona fide classic!!!!! (now worth lots of money).

It's available to download here. (wait for the seconds to tick away and then click on the free download)

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how to park cars the american way

That's the way to do it. Bit of a pain in the arse if you are in a hurry to leave though.

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waiters secret signs

there's an interesting article here about the signs waiters use in resteraunts. I can't however, seem to find the two fingered sign they tend to give me.

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new york back in the day

These are The Flatiron Building and Bleeker Street, both in Manhatten, from 1909 and 1910. Things have certainly changed a lot since then, especially Bleeker Street. It's strange that there are hardly any cars or taxis, it certainly makes the roads look a lot bigger and wider.

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the social network - (2010 ) - david fincher

I started watching The Social Network this evening after putting it off for quite a while, and nearly switched it off early on as l was not particularly enjoying it. I am glad that l stuck with it though, as it was well worth the perseverance, because it just got better the longer it went on. You would think it would be pretty boring, as it mainly concerns geeks (and Harvard geeks at that) plus a court case, but they managed to keep the film moving at a decent pace, so it was fine in the end. I don't think Mark Zuckerberg should have had to pay out 65 million dollars for (supposedly) running off with the idea, but at least he is not skint now. Wish he would send me some of the money he has left (the selfish bastard).

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the simpsons may be cut

The Simpsons is one of my favourite ever shows, as it has consistently been hilarious, and spot on when it comes to comedy writing. Homer is the star, but there are so many excellent bit part characters as well, favourites of mine being Comic Book Guy and The Mad Professor (Frink). Sometimes the show can be too nice and slushy, with too many nicey nicey kiddie items, but overall, it is a work of genius. The details they strive for and the many in jokes are what make it, as well as tiny attention to details, such as the still from above, when Homer has his band in the studio. The writers certainly know their pop culture and it will be sadly missed if this story is true. Then again, the voice over artists may just be holding out for more money.

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rolling thunder (1977) - john flynn

Rolling Thunder is meant to be one of Quentin Tarantino's favourite films, but l can't see why, as there is absolutely bugger all that's great about it. It's the usual tale of a family being killed, then revenge being enacted on the perpetrators, this time by two ex Vietnam prisoners. William Devane plays the main character, who discovers everything has changed since he has been away as a prisoner for seven years. Things gradually get worse from then on in, including losing his hand during torture. He ropes in (one handed obviously - ho ho ho) his old army buddy (a young Tommy Lee Jones) to go to Mexico, to kill the baddies with him, and he still has time to meet another (younger than his wife) woman. Classy man (mind you, he is kind of punishing himself and he has grown to love the rope/torture/agony while a POW). Plenty of violence and stereotypical Mexicans, but the film was pretty lousy.

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tony bennet and lady ga ga - the lady is a tramp

Ignore some of the bad dubbing - this is pretty damn good.

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primal scream vs theresa may

It's bad enough Theresa May banging on about immigrants and cats (which was untrue), now she has upset Primal Scream.

Primal Scream are totally disgusted that The Home Secretary Theresa May ended her speech at the Tory party conference with our song Rocks.

How inappropriate. Didn't they research the political history of our band?

Hasn't she listened to the words? Does she even know what getting your rocks off means? No. She is a Tory; how could she?

Primal Scream are totally opposed to the coalition government, Cameron, Osborne, Gove, Howard, Clegg etc. They are legalised bullies passing new laws to ensure the wealthy stay wealthy, taking the side of big business while eradicating workers rights and continuing their attacks on young people, single parents and OAP's by slashing education and social security budgets, and persecuting the poor for being poor.

We would like to distance ourselves from this sick association.

The Tories are waging a war on the disenfranchised, They are the enemy.

Primal Scream

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shaun of the dead (2004) - edgar wright

From the makers of 'Spaced'. Shaun of the Dead is marvellous. Starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost! Directed by Edgar Wright! It's a romantic comedy but with zombies, lots of gore, an English setting, loads of pop culture references and repeated jokes. What's not to like? Spot the other comedy stars in it! Excellent.

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a mighty hot curry by kismot of edinburgh

Kismot curry house in Edinburgh raised some money for charidee by having a curry eating contest featuring their 'Kismot Curry', with superb results. The full story here. What a great advert for the resteraunt, people (especially on stag nights) will be queuing up to try it now. One of their waiters on their official website even says "I'm not a racist, but it always seems to be stupid white people". Great stuff!

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octopus camouflage

This is amazing, when I first saw the ending l couldn't believe it myself.

I'm sticking to swimming pools from now on.

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who on earth is tom baker?

This is one of the most frank and revealing autobiographies l have read (actually, listened to, as it was on audiobook). Tom is full of doubt and self loathing, and is certainly not the happy go lucky character l imagined him to be before starting on this. It still has lots of funny 'laugh out loud' bits, but also a lot of sad episodes. At one stage, Tom is naked, has just made a deep cut on his left breast, and is watching the blood drip to the floor. Standing there naked and bleeding, he said "I was alone, poor, bleeding and unwanted. I had never felt happier". Fascinating.

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how to get rid of people using gravy

For some mad reason the FPO decided to invite the family round for lunch at the weekend, destroying my peace, quiet and happy home. I was even sent to the shops after finishing work to buy sausages (with firm instructions not to buy any cheap ones), cauliflower and booze. On returning home, I tried to watch 'The Sunday Supplement' before anyone turned up, but fell asleep on the settee within about 5 minutes, to be woken with Rook at the door, as a prelude to everyone else arriving. All was going swimmingly once everyone had settled down with a drink, as l was royally entertaining everyone while the FPO was in the kitchen, slaving away cooking (as she should). However, when it was food time, l poured the gravy onto everybodies plates. Where's the harm in this you may ask. Ah, there's the rub...when pouring it onto Louise's plate, little Lol put her hand in it and obviously got burned (slightly, as l have the reflexes of a mongoose and wiped it off). Lol was crying on and off after that (probably scared l was going to throw some more over her) and Louise and Dazzer took her home early, leaving us with Rook and Deb. Still, we then had a good night, watched 'Later' with Jools Holland, and all got drunk. I'll have to remember the gravy trick next time l want some solitude. Everyone has now been warned!

# Postscript - the baby is fine with no injuries, so don't bother calling Childline.

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