billy two hats (1974) - ted kotcheff

Starring Gregory Peck as 'Arch', a 'hoots mon, it's a braw bricht moonlicht nicht taenicht' Scottish outlaw and Desi Arnaz, Jr as his half breed mate (the Billy Two Hats of the title). They are pursued across the desert by Gifford, a mean old sheriff (Jack Warden), who can't understand why they are so close to one another, when they are not related. Peck's Scottish accent is pretty broad and kind of unbelievable coming from him, and Arnaz is better at acting when he is just being silent and moody, rather than trying to get the dialogue across convincingly (which he fails to do). Warden however, is excellent. Rugged, old, bitter and looking for retribution. There is also an appearance by four whisky loving Indians, Copeland, an old timer (David Huddleston) who helps the sheriff out (by shooting and wounding Peck), and (of course), there is a love interest (Sian Barbara Allen) for Arnaz. Superb (if you are into old school westerns).

toodle pip

muhammad ali and sammy davis jr

Sammy Davis Jr has got some boxing gloves on, but he had better be praying that Muhammad Ali doesn't put some on himself, as l know who my money would be on if it came to a bout of the old fisticuffs.
A clue - it wouldn't be on Sammy.
Richard Pryor has a routine where he talks about sparring with Ali for charity (or a press shot), and even though Pryor had done some boxing in the past, he said all he could see of Ali's gloves, was when they were moving away from his face after hitting him, as his jabs were so fast.
A bit like me back in the old days down at The Walkie.

toodle pip

the telegraphs ugliest buildings

Aldar headquarters building in Abu Dhab

Grand Lisboa Hotel in Macau

The National Library in Pristina, Kosovo

The National Library of Belarus in Minsk

I know l shouldn't be annoyed or exasperated by anything that is in The Telegraph (the right wing, Tory loving rag that it is), but their list of 'the ugliest buildings in the world' got to me, as there are plenty on the list that l actually like, such as the ones above. I also understand they are probably printing the list to get a reaction from the likes of me and some free publicity for the paper, but what the heck, they are still wrong.
Plus they're a bunch of narrow minded arses with no taste.

toodle pip

diet the ayds way

Bit of an unfortunate name they chose for a diet product.

toodle pip

the bluebird - charles bukowski

there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out

but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there,
I'm not going to let anybody see you.

there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him
and inhale cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders and the grocery clerks
never know that he's in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay down,
do you want to mess me up?
 you want to screw up the works?
you want to blow my book sales in Europe?

 there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
but I'm too clever,
 I only let him out at night sometimes when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be sad.
then I put him back,

but he's singing a little in there,
I haven't quite let him die
and we sleep together like that
with our secret pact
and it's nice enough to make a man weep,
but I don't weep,
do you?


 Another classic from the mighty pen of Charles Bukowski.
From in The Last Night of the Earth Poems and The Pleasure of The Damned.

toodle pip

van heusen ties - a man's world

Naturally l have a few ties kicking about the house, but l think l might have been buying the wrong sort, as they certainly don't have this affect on the FPO. Methinks it's time for some new ones, but who on earth would wear a shirt and tie in bed?.

toodle pip

philippine baby crocodiles

Ahh, they look kind of cute when they are born, but l wouldn't fancy bringing one of these up at home. They are Philippine baby Crocodiles, best left to get on with things by themselves, in the wild, and far away from me.

toodle pip

garden state (2004) - zak braff

Garden State is a pretty slow paced romantic film, featuring Zak Braff as Andrew Largeman, an aspiring actor who returns home for his mothers funeral, comes off his medication, and tries to live his life a bit, trying to make amends with his father in the process. He also meets some old friends and a gets himself a love interest (as they always do in these type of films). Not much else happens, apart from some drug taking, some heart to heart talks, and the regaining of his mothers bracelet. It passed some time this morning (allowing me to slowly wake up), and the soundtrack was pretty good (which won Braff an Emmy), but it's nothing special, unlike similar films such as 'The Graduate'.

toodle pip

the singing detective (2003) - keith gordon

No-where near as good as the British TV series starring Michael Gambon, The Singing Detective sees the setting transported to the USA, and the old crooner songs replaced by early Rock and Roll tunes. Robert Downey, Jr's performance is pretty impressive, but can't touch Gambon's original one. Mel Gibson is unrecognisable as Dr Gibbon, Katie Holmes plays the Joanne Whalley sexy nurse role (not as sexily), and that's all there is to say really. It was an effort that deviated a lot from the series, as the plot had to be condensed, but in reality, there is no comparison between them. The TV series is fantastic, but this was pretty boring for large segments. Downey Jr - good, the film itself - dull.

toodle pip

visiting joe in hospital (again) and the love crazed rabbit

As it was another glorious day full of the Great Lords sunshine today, l took up some stuff  for Joe, who has been admitted into James Cook hospital and had another hip replacement done, as there were complications with the first one.
I needed some fuel when l set off, but was amazed to see the queues  at the local garage. I had to wait a while to get served, and fuelled by the paranoia about strikes and shortages (see what l did there) , decided to put in extra diesel 'just in case'. Of course this also develops into a 'Catch 22' situation, and will probably cause shortages in the future, but what the fuck, l need the fuel anyway, and just got a little bit extra to save me queueing later on and make sure l can get to work (but not until next Tuesday afternoon).
Joe was his normal self (unsure if that is good or bad), in a private room, and is going to be kept in for 4 - 6 weeks.
Saw Robbo afterwards, got some wine for home, and watched some recorded stuff on the TV with the FPO (with the idiot rabbit finally crumbling and licking my nose at long last).
A loved crazed rabbit, a drunken FPO, Joe with his radio, and me on the computer. All is present and correct with the world.

toodle pip

flying like a bird

Jarno Smeets, a mechanical engineer from Holland can fly like a bird on this contraption it has taken him eight months to build.
Everybody will want one now.

 toodle pip

outside the wine bar at work

Life can be great. As part of my work duties, l ended up sitting outside my local pub (Hunters / The Wine Bar at Catterick) on a glorious day full of bright sunshine.
Bliss.
Later on, after finishing work, l resumed the sitting outside and drinking duties.
Keeping it sweet.

toodle pip

first aid course at darlington

I had to do an update training course for First Aid at the Blackwell Grange hotel in Darlington today (on a glorious summers day), which was all well and good, but l then had to go to work afterwards and do a sleepover. Still well and good, but l had only been at work for about 2 seconds, when l managed to cut myself with a broken glass in the sink. Trust me, work's not that bad, so it wasn't intentional, no matter what it looked like.
At least l knew how to bandage / plaster myself up afterwards (through the tears).

toodle pip

the mad men girls - set me free

Mad Men: Set Me Free from popculturepirate on Vimeo.

As Mad Men is now back (hurrah!), here's a video that must have taken ages putting together, thankfully, not by me. Even in my most boring and anal moments,  l'm not that sad, although l am pleased there are others out there in internet land who are.

toodle pip

out and about at colburn business park

During (and fulfilling) one of my many work duties, l went to Colburn Business Park today to pick somebody up. What a waste of time the place has been (so far). I would say about half of the buildings are empty, and there is not a lot of demand for some of the unoccupied spaces. Some are already being used by charity/do gooder organisations, and this all goes hand in hand with The Colburn Lodge pub being run down, sold, then left unused (probably so it can be knocked down sometime shortly in the future).
What a sad development for the area, as The Lodge is a landmark pub, and will definitely make money once the enterprise schemes (and the planned new building of houses) takes place.
In the meantime, the area is dead, the pub is boarded up, but it's still nice to drive around on a sunny day.

toodle pip

a red army soldier - 1919

This is a Red Army soldier from 1919, and l wish all soldiers dressed like that nowadays, as that hat is kickin' and rare (as us kids like to say).
Also, I don't know what that weapon is on his left hand side, but it looks pretty large and impressive (certainly not the first time l have used that phrase).

toodle pip

russian safety posters

"Oi - stop staring at the blokes and watch your shovel you silly bitch"

Don't overload your wheelbarrow with too many wet and slippery fish while walking on a plank in a bad mood

Never try to drown out the madness of the world with two trains

Don't go chasing hammers - they're not worth it and you'll only end up getting hurt

toodle pip

shelf collapse disaster

What a disaster! The extra thick shelf in the spare room that has been up for about 70 years (at a guess), has collapsed under the weight of some of my records and books. This happened just before the Manchester United v Fulham game, so l had to run up and down the stairs to rescue records, books, DVD's and clothes from the collapsed, plaster covered debris. This was just before the kick off, at half time, and just after the game. I have never felt so knackered in all of my life, running up and down the stairs, clearing some of the mess up, taking some of the records downstairs, and trying to fight off an asthma attack with all of the dust flying about (while also celebrating yet another (less than glorious) Manchester United win).
Of course the FPO ignored it all, persevering with her Second Life (the one that's better than her own). At least she informed me that it had happened, so there has been some progress in her development and progress from her addiction to it.
More work to do at the weekend fixing the calamity, but at least l found the LP (Queen live at the BBC bootleg) l had promised to give to Ken Moore  once l remembered where it was. I am way too nice (or stupid) for my own good (but also, still knackered with all the dust flying about).
I blame God (again).

toodle pip

2001 : a space odyssey film poster

2001 : a space odyssey is one of my favourite films, and this poster for it is one of my favourites as well.
I've never watched the film on drugs (because l can't imagine such a thing), but it must have been pretty 'far out' for all the 'heads' and 'freaks' experiencing it  (and their drugs) at the cinema back in the day.
Lucky gits.

toodle pip

how l used to be a rock god like in led zeppelin

It's pretty hard to believe now, but back in the day, this used to be me. A rip-roaring, rodgering, raconteuring, rakish rapscallion of a rogue (but without shagging under age girls).
The evidence is strong.
I have impartial printed evidence that l used to look like Robert Plant (when he was still good looking).
l always had a beautiful lady by my side, and l have hung about (albeit for a short time) with the great and good person that is B.P Fallon, the man with his eyes closed who Plant has his arm around.
I have also handled snakes (of the reptilian kind), and if this photograph was taken in the States, which l suspect it was, l have also been there and had many a rock and roll time in and around it's many hostelries.
Sadly, with my dodgy heart, back, knees, asthma, old age and egg shell head, those days are but a distant memory.
Of course, l blame God (and the FPO for wearing me down and constantly feeding me)
Time to get back to my crunches before her evil plan works and it is to late for me to reclaim my crown.


toodle pip

drive (2011) - nicholas windring refn

I had a lot of hope for this film, as l foolishly listened to advice from co-workers and internet message boards, which both told me that Drive was well worth watching. That probably shows me up as the fool that l am, and l shall never trust anybody else's opinion again, as it was pretty a mediocre film, at least to my tired old eyes. I would have liked it a lot more if somebody else had been playing the (unnamed) central character rather than Ryan Gosling, who's (supposedly) quiet, enigmatic, tough (and yet with a caring heart of gold) driver of the film, just left me feeling bored and annoyed (so no change there). I felt like taking his toothpick off him and ramming it repeatedly into his eye, just to get some sort of naked emotion from him, but l'm afraid the glass TV screen (plus a few court orders) prevented me doing so. The supporting actors were fine, and maybe Gosling just played the role as instructed, but l still hated his wooden performance.
Anyway, to skip through it, Gosling is a (very quiet) driver of getaway cars who falls for a woman and child (not in that way!) who live in his block. He then gets involved with some dodgy people, and helps out the (just released from prison) husband of the woman in a hold-up, which goes wrong. The husband is killed, and the driver tries to reap revenge on the baddies.
The violence is pretty graphic (no problem there) and Joan from 'Mad Men' is in it (always a good thing). The soundtrack (by Cliff Martinez - formally drummer with The Red Hot Chili Peppers) is excellent, and l realise the critical response to the film has been really good, but what the hell do other people know, it's a load of over-rated tosh and tripe, and they are all wrong.

toodle pip