working in majorca

It does not look very hot in the photos, but trust me, it was. All went well and l am now pretty damn brown, although l am also peeling a bit (Damn!). I would like to say it was hard work, but it was not too bad and l managed to get a lot of reading done and also listened to a few things on the old ipod. It was the second time l have been to Sa Coma with work, but it will probably be the last for a while, as there are plenty of other places to see. I was away for eight days, so it is good to be back home again, back to staying up late, the bleeding rain, idiot animals and the FPO. Back at work again today, but not long until the weekend (l've got a long weekend off) and not long until we are off to Portugal for a personal holiday at the end of August. Here's counting....

toodle pip

hello (hello) l'm back again

Oh yes - l'm back again (Goodness gracious!)

toodle pip

last post before majorca

I am off to Majorca for a week away with work later on today (but l am not in bed yet and l have to be up at about 5am - idiot that l am). I probably won't post while l am away, as l know it might be difficult to comprehend, but l am not that sad. To compensate, here's a picture of me in Turkey last year (l think it was last year, it could be the year before). I am the messianic figure bossing the place (alpha male number 1). Don't get too excited (or non-pulsed) about my absence.

toodle pip

a strange man with a cat on his head

What more could you want?

toodle pip

johan huibers building a replica ark - 2012 olympics

The half sized version

Johan Huibers, the carpenter man himself (not Jesus)

The full sized version

A reporter in front of the full sized version!

A giraffe on the front of the half sized version!

A Dutch self employed carpenter, Johan Huibers, has been making a full sized version of Noah's ark http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43492787/ns/today-today_people/t/meet-man-whos-re-creating-noahs-ark/), after previously making one that was half size (http://creation.com/one-man-and-a-vision-johan-huibers-ark-builder-in-netherlands). Only stuffed animals are on board (apart from some chickens), but it looks impressive. It should be sailing up the Thames for the 2012 Summer Olympics if all goes according to plan. There must be some serious money involved in it all (the half sized one was open for tourists).

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but l certainly don't remember him building the Ark himself. I guess I'll have to brush up on my Bible reading.

toodle pip

the news of the world closing

I was amazed when l found out that the paper was to close after this Sundays copy, but l am also a bit pissed off about it. The people at the top are the ones that need to go first, but most of the News Of The World workers would have done bugger all wrong and are just trying to make a living. Andy Coulson (the former editor) has been arrested and bailed, but David Cameron must have known he was dodgy when he employed him as his communications officer. Coulson either knew what was going on at the paper and sanctioned it, or he was incompetent if he did not know. The same goes for Rebekah Wade / Brook. This was also (whether you like it or not) a great British institution, over 160 years old (it started in 1843 as a cheap working class paper), which has been bought, taken down market and then finished off by a rich Australian. Let's face it, Rupert Murdoch (or someone on his behalf working for the News Corporation) will just start another Sunday paper with a lot of the old staff, and then carry on regardless. The way to hit him hardest is not just by boycotting his wares or advertisers pulling out, it's to prevent him having a monopoly on broadcasting. He should be deemed not a 'fit and proper person', but there is no way that is going to happen with everyone toadying up to him and cosying up to each other. Ed Miliband is no better. He should reject the Murdoch get togethers, stop trying to be mates with the powerful newspaper owners, get stuck in with some hard hitting policies, and give the opposition a good kicking while it is down, but that is also not going to happen. Ed Milliband will not win an election for the Labour Party (hows that for a forecast?), whereas l think his brother would have done. Oh for the glory days of Tony Blair sweeping into power first time around...

Now where is my Euro millions win so l can bugger off?

toodle pip

the plainsman (1936)

The film poster

Wild Bill and Buffalo Bill as depicted in the film

This is who played Calamity Jane

The real Buffalo Bill in 1875

The real Wild Bill in 1869

The real Calamity Jane in 1895

Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, this film has everything you want from a western, including Wild Bill Hickok (played by Gary Cooper), Buffalo Bill Cody, Calamity Jane (Jean Arthur), General George Custer, and Abraham Lincoln. It also name checks the 'Go West' newspaper headline, Lincoln's assassination and the Battle of the Little Bighorn. Wild Bill is shot while playing cards, plus there is a love story between Wild Bill and Calamity (and a bromance between the two Bills). It has lots of overacting and an astonishing presentation of the western timeline, as Old Cecil (as l call him) just chucks in all the historical events so that they occur at about the same time. Plus most of the story is unbelievable and never happened. Brilliant and crap at the same time, what more could you ask for?

toodle pip

noel gallagher press conference - july 7 2011

Noel Gallagher is back with two new albums. Here's yesterdays press conference about them.

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peter griffin loves surfer bird

I have got to sort out my TV filming and get it straight and steady, as l have obviously just been experimenting with it. On the other hand, here's some more Family Guy, featuring The Trashmen's 'Surfin' Bird'. A classic song and a couple of great lines right at the end of the clip.

toodle pip

jesus grants a wish

Brian's face at the end is excellent (if you don't already know, he fancies Lois)

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helmet talk - bf mcdonald engraved - is it worth it

The B.F McDonald helmet

Flemish armour ca 1575 (inscribed D.G.V Lochorst)

The Roman helmet (with detachable face) 1st - 2nd century AD

I am impressed by this. It is a normal BF McDonald hard hat, engraved? embossed and punched? repoussaged? by a guy called 'Winsa', from back in the day. Very similar work to that which used to be on the old Flemish and French army uniforms. Not as good to own as the Roman helmet sold last year(http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/europe/10/07/england.roman.helmet/index.html?hpt=Sbin ), but still impressive. It has since been sold on Ebay (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190543838359&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT#ht_6406wt_1141) for the outrageous sum of 600 of your old US dollars, but these kind of things can be bought in Far Eastern markets, with individual designs, and they are very cheap (50 to 100 dollars) in comparison. I do still think the artwork is great, no matter what it is worth, and some of the people in the Far East will be very skilled, but as usual, because they are unknown, they are ignored by the art world, unless a profit can be made in the future. I've got a good mind to travel to the Far East and bring a load back to sell, of course (eventually) flooding the market (in both senses).

toodle pip

l could have ruled the world

If only my parents had bought me this when l was younger. I could be an evil tyrant by now. Mind you, the FPO would probably say l turned into one anyway.

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we love the kids so bomb the schools

Where America goes, England follows. So be careful out there.

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling

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pods for the garden

These things look great. I want to state now that l do not work for the firm or have any connection to them, but l could live in one of these things if it included a toilet and hammock. They are a genius idea and full details are here - http://www.archipod.com/en-us/.

toodle pip

cy (edwin parker) twombly has died (April 25, 1928 – July 5, 2011)

The soon to be artist - looking worried about his bum

The great piss taker himself (hopefully)

Phaedrus before and after the 'kiss'

Yin and Yang 1970

Untitled 1951

White poems to the sea 1959

Min Oe 1951

My rabbit - yesterday (not really, it's Arcadia 1958)

Ok, so he died yesterday (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14038987), but l have been at work. Cy Twombly, is probably most famous (to laymen) for his Phaedrus painting being kissed by Cambodian - French artist Rindy Sam in 2007, and the ensuring argument about whether it was a valid artistic statement, or just plain vandalism (story here - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/6910377.stm). As it was just plain white (and expensive) beforehand, l thought the painting looked better with the red smudge, although it certainly did not look like a kiss. I also like to think of myself as a man who appreciates artistic endeavours, and much as l might not wish to have some paintings in my home, l can usually see their attraction. However.... Twomby's later works left me cold, unless of course it was one great piss take from him, to show so called art experts would buy and praise anything, as long as the painting's meaning could be explained, and the artist was famous enough. I could put some coloured crayons up my idiot rabbits arse and get him to run around a canvas for a couple of minutes and reproduce an equal to some of the later works. I really don't want to come across as just picking on the dead, as his earlier (before 1954 ish) works I didn't mind, it's just that l really do wish it turned into some kind of abstract piss take, but l doubt it very much.

toodle pip

owen hargreaves training

According to the BBC news website, Owen has started a You Tube channel to show how fit he is, to encourage clubs to take a chance with him, as he has been injured for so long. Unfortunately, he has always had injury problems, so clubs will be wary of investing or paying too much, even seeing the new fangled training with the strings and ball. He had also better not leave Manchester United and then turn out to be brilliant elsewhere, as l would be sick that we have missed out on his best years, but good luck to him.

toodle pip

the jiaozhou bay bridge

This is the rather impressive Jiaozhou Bay Bridge, the longest bridge over water in the world, at 26.4 miles long, and it only took the Chinese four years to build - very impressive!.

I imagine it might be a bit scary if the weather gets bad or your car starts playing up.

toodle pip

scott pilgrim vs the world

This was a brilliant surprise at the weekend (watched it on Saturday afternoon). I did not know anything about it beforehand, and was a bit unmoved at the very start, but turned out to be really inventive and it had a great deal of effort put into minor details, which always helps make a movie, (but is hardly ever done). It is directed by Edgar Wright and stars Michael Cera as Scott, who has to defeat his new girlfriends ex partners in fights. Sounds a bit boring, but there's a lot more to it than that, and it is a film l will definitely watch again. Hell, l might even lash out and buy the DVD (or even the comic books it is based on, by Bryan Lee O'Malley).

Why can't the Spider-Man films have been like this?

toodle pip

another busy weekend - the mcorville - cross keys and jt's.

The McOrville - venue of thefree meal

Inside The McOrville

The view down to Middlesbrough from The Robinsons abode

The Cross Keys, venue for the cider, pate and toast (with Roseberry Topping in the background)

Mark, the manager and drunken birthday boy - outside JT's

Another splendid time was had at the weekend. First off, it was off to Middlesbrough to meet Robbo and Kerry, for a meal on Saturday night at The McOrville, a new 'Gastro pub' just off the A19 (http://www.themcorville.co.uk/). The FPO had won a meal worth £100 through a competition with Nivea, and as luck would have it, the meal came to £110, but we were let off the extra £10 as her food was rubbish first time round(they changed it). Everyone else's food was fine, and the manager was really friendly, so we let them off (and left a tip).

Stayed overnight in Nunthorpe, then sat in the back garden catching some rays on Sunday morning, before heading off to The Cross Keys, (just up the road) for a lunchtime snack and some ale (http://www.pub-explorer.com/nyorks/pub/crosskeysupsall.htm). Louise and her that shall not be named came and met us all, so we stayed for a while in the outside part, as it was really sunny and no-one was in any great hurry to go anywhere. Very pleasant (and my cider, pate and toast was really tasty).

We then called into JT's (http://officialpubguide.com/pubdetails.php?pubid=4737) on our return to Catterick (the FPO was driving), and discovered it was Mark (the managers) 40th birthday. Sat outside with him and some of the other lads for a while, then back home to fire to the bonfire, to try and get rid of all the bushes and crap that was cut last week. Managed to do it, but it took a mighty long time, and l also managed to fall forward when picking something up and banged my shoulder and forehead. Blithering idiot that l am. I think l may also have concussed myself slightly as l got up during the night and was sick, which l never usually do. Fine now though, although l still have the scratches/marks. Battle scars of the weekend is how l shall be describing them.

toodle pip