joy to the world - its holiday time and manchester united are nearly in the final

I have finished work and am now on holiday until next Friday - Hurrah!!!!!!!!!!

A great start to my time off was watching Manchester United destroy Shalke 04 tonight. It was away from home and United won 2-0, but they should have scored loads more. The game was controlled by United from the start and they made it look all too easy. Looks like the Final is now on, unless there is a massive upset in the return leg next week. By the time l go back to work, United should be through, as well as (hopefully) beating Arsenal at the weekend. Excellent.

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working during easter

Rather sadly, while just about everyone has been off over Easter, l have been working every day. It has not been too bad though, as the phone has hardly rang, and l have had hardly any emails (with more work to do). It has therefore felt like a holiday, and l managed to get out and about a lot, snapping the above shots. The statue is in Catterick Village, and the traffic jams where leading onto Scotch Corner. Easter summed up right there.

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melody maker and mr agreeable

I used to love Melody Maker in the 1990's, and especially Mr Agreeable. Even better was the 'At home with Liam and Patsy' part, with the great photo of Patsy Kensit carrying the shopping bags like she is a scumbag from a council estate, rather than a 'movie' star. Pure class and really funny just about every week. This page is from 1996.

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macys 1908

This is Macy's store in 1908 at Broadway and 34th street. It all looks a bit different now.

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man to woman

This is why you have to be very, very careful who you chat up.

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heroin advert

You don't see these ads much nowadays

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super boro on friday

Another fun day for all the family on Friday. Went through to Middlesbrough and out into town with Robbo and Kerry. It was not as busy as l expected, but we had a laugh and went for a meal at Al Fornos. Stopped off at The Southern Cross on the way back (well, me and Robbo did, the girls carried on home), and that place was heaving, something to do with a charity event they do. Robbo then got some takeaway and we headed back and sat up for a bit.

Up about 9am and sat around choosing villas for the next holiday, which is going to be in Portugal. drove back so l could watch United v Everton before (sadly) heading off to work (in about two minutes).

Stone me, what a life

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the earth rises - view from the moon

These are the sort of photos that make space exploration worthwhile, even if it is only to remind mankind how insignificant we are.

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beyond the moon and knocking on heavens door

These were two of the documentaries l watched over the weekend. Both were interesting and had some footage l thought might not appear (USA disasters and USSR dodgy experiments), but the best bits were the photos from Hubble and images of space (in all it's infinite glory). I am worried they have made me an evangelical agnostic (OK, they have not, l was one already).

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funeral at darlington crematorium and blackwell grange

What a gay afternoon. Went to the work funeral at Darlington Crematorium, then back to The Blackwell Grange for a cup of tea (I drank Jack and Coke).

Rather sadly, l was asked by the family (about 2 minutes before the task) to carry the coffin from the hearse into the crematorium (obviously l leapt at the chance).

Of course l was more that willing to oblige, as it was a last minute invitation and l did not have to think about it beforehand, but it was also an experience l was not planning on getting from the day. I was also at the front, and led, so l suppose that is also something else to tick off, but the coffin dust made it look as though l had loads of dandruff (the FPO wiped it off).

Had to make small talk with the family afterwards then back to sunny old Catterick for a couple of quick ales before going home.

Met one of the staff team who had been at the funeral, and lo and behold, she received a call while we were talking and drinking that said her nan had died. What an end to the day.

Then again.... heartless bastard that l am, it gave me an excuse to have another ale, then myself and the FPO left the staff member, got some chips and wine for home, and buggered off. A good day for myself and the FPO, not so good for work related stuff and deaths.

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cemetery junction

By Jimminy Jesus, l have just watched a really crap film that l had high hopes for. Cemetery Junction (an a actual place in Reading) is about 3 young whipper snappers coming to age in 1973 Reading, one trying to better himself, one violent, and one an idiot. Sounds like me and my mates 12 miles away at RAF Benson at the same time, only we were not so stereo typically shit as characters. The best scenes were in the kitchen of Ricky Gervais (OK, his character, l assume based on his father), arguing and making asides with his family. Top stuff. The rest of the film was so mind blowingly predictable and unbelievable it was annoying. Some of the music choices were top notch (Life's a Gas) but fucking Brotherhood of Mans 'Save all your kisses for me' crap was not a Eurovision winner until 1976 and was not even started as a song until 1974. Anyone who knows me understands how angry this sort of re- writing of musical history of songs makes me (and l mean angry - proper Hulk style angry). Luckily, there was so much other crap in the film that annoyed me, l did not end up killing the cat/rabbit or FPO. I hate not liking this sort of stuff though, as l am a scumbag from the same era, and l love Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchants stuff (especially the radio shows). I feel like l am letting one of my own down, but when something is crap, it's crap.

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hard days filming this morning

Spent all morning filming, now I'm off to a funeral. What fun!

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mowgli and nozzer

Looking through some old photos tonight and came across this one of poor little Nozzer boy and the rather ratty looking Mowgli from Christmas 2009. Now we are stuck with Jacko and Tubbs - both of them fucking idiots.

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sigourney weaver screen test for alien

This is the screen test for Alien (1979) , with Sigourney Weaver. I haven't seen the film for many years, but just look at all the smoking that is going on. You forget how prevalent it was back in the day.

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facebook corrections

Whoever this Daniel is, this is an excellent way of winding people up, and he is right, they do make it too easy for him

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work at tottenham court road

I haven't been down to London recently, but one of the areas l was most familiar with was around Tottenham Court Road, as it is around there where l like to drink. Looks like l am going to be lost next time l am down though, as the photos of the work being done means the old place would certainly have changed. Hope they haven't knocked down too many pubs.

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the northern lights

The Aurora from Terje Sorgjerd on Vimeo.

Mmmm - nice

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work work work

And then l come home to grass cutting duties. More later (yeh yeh, very exciting)

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the royal wedding video

And if they did this, l would probably hate them that little bit more (if that was possible)

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cheap fecking 50p flights

l have certainly experienced that (the flights, not the girls)

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women with steve buscemeyes eyes

Tina Fey from 30 Rock

The girls from Friends

It just looks so wrong, but those eyes are like mine, and l am lovely. It is doing my head in, l can't compute, the world is off it's axis etc....

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david bowie the glam god

Bowie when he was a space alien superstar - l loved this stuff

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backflip penalty

This is like me back in the day - a flash bastard (but l would have broken my neck if l tried a backflip)

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9 ways guys pee

So true - click to enlarge

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last of the laughing owls

And so they give that little bit more..

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some maths 1 = 0.999

This has been blowing my tiny mind recently. 1 can be the same as 0.999. Bloody maths

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joss stone is dodgy (or dusty)

How shit and up her arse does this sound? I actually used to like her, as she had a great voice (I own two of her early cds/lps), but it should have been put to a better use over the last few years. She seems to have been swayed by the good old US of A more than most stars. IMHO (In my humble opinion) she would have done better sticking to her earlier roots and building on her credibility (which was sky high in the early years) and having a long lasting career. Obviously she may well prove me wrong and prove how unswitched on l am, but l doubt it.

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winter snow by northallerton hospital

Back to work today, but it's not so bad, as l am looking forward to the Manchester United v Chelsea second leg tonight. I also don't have to keep visiting the hospital at Northallerton at the moment, but as l have been sorting out some photos from my mobile, l have found these from one of my last visits. It's nice and sunny outside and so much the better for it, you forget how cold it can be in winter. Bring on the summer l say, l have been in the hammock once this year already, but l want to be lazing in it on a regular basis. The only bad thing is it is also time to cut the grass and sort the front bushes out. Damn.

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dogboarding

Dogboarding from DANIELS on Vimeo.

Don't know how they managed to make this, but it looks pretty damn realistic

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neil diamond documentary

I have just been watching a BBC documentary on Neil Diamond, which was pretty good (from what l could hear over the cat meowing), although nothing too special. The weirdest bit was watching Neil doing a screen test for the part of Lenny Bruce in the film 'Lenny', which eventually went to Dustin Hoffman. I like the Lenny film a lot but it was just strange watching someone else doing it. It's like what losing your marbles must feel like, if you start doubting your own memory of events or history, and seeing them in a way that you can't understand or take in. I can't find the clip on You Tube, but here's my favourite Neil Diamond song. I may go and dig out 12 songs now and play them (one of the albums he did with Rick Rubin).

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more laughing owls

The gift that keeps on giving

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ironic mug shots part 58

More idiots

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weekend fun and games

Been a busy old weekend. Went to the caravan park on Friday evening for Dazzer's birthday, taking Nora with us. Ken and Ann were there as well (they took Nora back), so we had a chill out (with chilli) and sank a few ales. When we arrived at the site, Louise and Ann came to open the gate for us, and just as they got there, there was a loud bang, from a crash on the main road, just as you turn into the site. Louise nabbed my phone, which l foolishly thought was for her to take some pictures, but she rang for an ambulance instead (damn!). We went up to the crash, but apart from some people being in shock, there were no casualties or major injuries, despite the land rover involved having turned over onto its roof. I thought l was going to have to get stuck in with my extensive first aid knowledge, but it was not needed. Still couldn't get any photos, as Louise had then buggered off with my phone, so l missed out there. Anyhows.... the FPO drove back at the end of the evening, so we could sleep in our own bed, as we where meeting Robbo and Kerry the next day.

This we duly did, with me and Robbo going to the Wine Bar and JT's, while the girls went for lunch and met us later. Sat outside in the sun, regaling the other lads with our saucy tales, then me and the FPO stayed out till about 8pm with Lonnie and Emma (but we were a bit tipsy by then). Another excellent day.

Quiet day in on Sunday as we both had some work to do (after l had watched the footie). Louise and Dazzer* came to visit in the afternoon, and l had to drop off some work in Richmond, so that meant a trip to the shops for sugar and wine. Baths, reading and TV was the order of the evening.

It's a hard life.

*Suppose l had better add that Lauren was also involved in the weekends events

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laughing owls

What's not to like (does that sentence even make sense?). Anyway - laughing owls. Excellent.

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brazilian taxi driver does michael jackson

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Genius - the taxi drivers around Catterick are shit compared to this

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crazy animals

This photo just looks so fantastic. That's it.

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awaydays and hot tub time machine

I enjoyed the Awaydays (2009) film, which is based on the same named book (1988) by Kevin Sampson, but it was a lot more homo-erotic than l remembered in the book. It concerns a group of Tranmere Rovers fans who travel on the train to cause a rucus. As usual in these type of films, it's to do with male bonding, in this case between Carty (Stephen Graham) and Elvis (Liam Boyle). It is also about who you can trust, standing your ground etc, before some kind of revelatory bit at the end. Good shots of the trainers and an excellent soundtrack, but some really crap haircuts.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) was crapper than the haircuts in Awaydays. I only started watching it because John Cusack starred, and he was great in the film version of High Fidelity. What a mistake. Four lads go back to the 1980's in a hot tub for (supposedly) hilarious results. I lasted about 40 minutes. I would also have let their mate, Lou (Rob Corddry) commit suicide, rather than be stuck with him at the ski resort. There was nothing funny or loveable about him, an American version of a wild party animal past his sell by date. Very dire.

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