northallerton hospital and david hockney

Today l had my appointment at Northallerton Hospital for another ECG and an Echo scan thingie on my heart, which was pretty cool as l could watch it pumping away on the computer while they were doing it. Also had more blood pressure checks, all OK. After all the tests it turns out l am exactly the right height for a man (spot on - six foot), blood pressure is fine, and l have the heart of a lion, or maybe even an ox. What they do think though (l saw the consultant after all the tests) is my heart slows down and stops working, probably the top part of it. It then kicks in again (thank you lower part) and it's back to normal. this apparently will not kill me (damn!) but it has to be sorted. I have to go back to get a recorder inserted into my chest, then when l next collapse, l have another part to attach to it so it can record what has happened. It will probably then be pacemaker time (already been given the leaflet). I am now waiting for an appointment for the recorder to be put in, it's the size of a memory stick and goes at the top of my chest, my left side. I was also informed that people who die unexpectedly (say while playing football), usually flake out because their hearts go too fast. Mine is just too laid back. I was saying earlier on to the FPO that l would not be surprised if it just shut off when l am out in the pub and am finding people boring. That would explain a lot.

Also went to the David Hockney exhibition which was also in Northallerton. Not really a lot there, as most of the stuff was from 1969, work done for the Grimms Fairy Tales book. Still interesting and l have to make sure l keep on my toes and put the hours in. It's all culture and dicky hearts around these parts!

That's it for now, off to work again for another waking night (l did one last night as well), as l foolishly volunteered. Gives me a chance to doss about though, as there is no work l can be getting on with while l am there. That means reading, watching todays footie and listening to my ipod. Superb. Back home at 8am then it's a couple of hours kip, pub, footie and mayhem (if the heart lasts out).

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rhodes postcards

I have finally finished unpacking my case after the trip to Rhodes, hence these two postcards from the trip. Looking out of the window at the pissing rain today, l wish l was back there now.

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the boy in the striped pajamas, how vietnam was lost and the world cup 2002

I had to drag myself out of bed this morning as I got picked up at 8.45am to go to a discharge meeting at Harrogate hospital, but it has been quite a pleasant day since then. The weather is still crap, and it has been pissing down all week, which means I can't go out and cut the grass yet. The downside of this is the grass is getting longer and I will have to cut it at some stage. The good side of this is I was back at home about 1pm and had nothing much to do (nothing l couldn't put off anyway). This resulted in me lazing around as usual, watching films and reading. Back to work tomorrow, and the person who is being discharged will be coming to spend his first night there, so I am staying overnight to try to help him settle. Also volunteered to come back in at 9pm on Friday night and stay the night again. I must have lost my marbles.Anyway, back to the lazing around....

The documentary of the 2002 World Cup was the official FIFA film, so it was a bit bland, but did show some good footage that l had not seen before. It's the year England were knocked out by Brazil, with David Seaman waving at the ball as a free kick goes sailing past him. Brazil went on to beat Germany in the final 2-0, and suddenly Sven was not considered much of a manager.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (based on the John Boyne book) was alright, although l didn't believe the little Jewish boy could spend so long sitting by the fence and chatting when he was meant to be working (he had a wheelbarrow with him most of the time). Hardly any guards about either. Very suspicious. I did enjoy David Thewlis' performance, and Asa Butterfield (as Bruno, the eight year old German) was pretty good as well. Still not keen on people talking in their usual posh English accents when playing Germans though. I don't expect them to speak like a comedy baddie, but at least David Thewlis made an effort and didn't sound out of place.

How Vietnam was lost was a Storyville documentary based on the book by David Maraniss (They marched into sunlight), relating the tales of student unrest at Wisconsin which led to them being beaten by the 'pigs' and the US troops who were ambushed by the Viet Cong, both in October 1967. It was pretty moving and told both sides of the stories, and how they changed peoples perception of the war, especially how events were reported.

Also found out about the large amount of plastic that is floating around in the Pacific Trash Vortex (it was mentioned on QI). I have since looked it up and it is pretty grim. Thankfully I won't be around to watch the planet completely go to the dogs. One of the benefits of being old (there aren't that many!).

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moon river with spider fingers

Look at the size of Audrey Hepburns fingers!! They would spook me out (and make my cock look small/smaller)

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space shuttle atlantis

This is the space shuttle Atlantis coming up to the space docking station with the Sun in the background. Cosmic.

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keith richards

A great shot of Keith at home in his library. He is indeed a man of style and taste.

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heart monitor and old house

I have been to Northallerton hospital and had a heart monitor fitted for 24 hours. This was returned to the hospital this evening, and I now have to go there again on Friday for an ECG and to then see the consultant. Exciting stuff. Wore the monitor yesterday, when I went out to see Joe at the Wine Bar and got very very drunk, so it will be interesting to see if something shows up from that. Sadly I did not flake out while wearing it, so I am not sure if it will discover anything.

While I was in Northallerton, I noticed this house and plaque. I have walked past this house many times and never noticed it before, so either the plaque is recent, or I am just a half blind idiot with no awareness of his surroundings. I think it is the latter.

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recent stuff l have enjoyed

Worried about the Boy. Documentary about Boy George, some of it seemed pretty unbelievable.

A film about trying to get paid off by having three suicides in a month leap in front of a train Crap.

The series has been repeated on Sky. It's excellent, especially when they have the relaxing pills.

Classic Hitchcock, dated but still keeps you guessing as to what is going to happen.

Albert Finney lives for the moment and realises life in the factory is shit. Then he gets a woman pregnant and gets himself a girlfriend. The book is better than the film.

Classic stuff. Nicholson is great in this. I can't be bothered looking it up but I think he got an Oscar for it. The chief is also pretty cool.

Obviously dated, but some decent characters in the plays, especially that scoundrel Scapin.

Thought this would be crap but it was a lot funnier than I was expecting. Not brilliant by any means, but it had some good moments.

I started watching this and then accidentally deleted it, so I am waiting for it to come back on so I can see the end of it. Tilda Swinton is excellent in it, playing a wayward drunk, not afraid to show herself in an unflattering light.

A classic. Also dated, but it is still a fantastic film which flies by.

Still have loads of Wallender to watch and have been ploughing through the latest series of American dad. There's just not enough hours in the day.

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san francisco market street

A great old movie of a journey down San Francisco's market street 100 years ago and the same scene in 2005. How times have changed

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adam ant 'ill' again

I am probably a little bit behind the times as I am playing catch up with news, but Adam Ant has been sectioned again, which is a real shame, as he had been getting himself back in shape and playing some gigs. The brains a funny old thing. Here's his message he sent to his fans (although he may be out by now).

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l love japan part 4047

A game show in Japan. The dirty dirty people. They are so far ahead of us in the UK, because when we get game shows like this, l will start watching them.

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updates with life in general

I just feel as though I am slowly getting back into the swing of things at the moment. Although I was only away for a week at work, it has been all go since then, learning about my new job (yawn). Went out and about in Richmond on bank holiday Monday, which was also the FPO's birthday, therefore a lot of ale was taken. Since then I have been at work, dealing with the aftermath of the death of the person I was visiting in hospital before the holiday. She died on Thursday morning, so there have been things to sort out at work for her (death certificates, freezing bank accounts, seeing undertakers etc). Also had a visit from Louise and Dazzer on Friday so more ale was taken as it's the only way I can tolerate them (only joking!). Had work again on Saturday, then relaxing properly for the first time tonight (when even more ale was taken, a couple of bottles of scrumptious Merlot). Thankfully I am only working on Thursday afternoon this week, although I do have to attend a meeting in Harrogate on Wednesday, which should only take an hour or two. The grass shall be cut, the weather shall be sweet (I hope), and I shall chill out and do my usual crap. That reminds me of something. When I was out and about on bank holiday Monday, I must have said to someone I had not read Mark E Smith's book (from the Fall), as it has since been thrust through my letterbox (ooeer!). I really do not have a clue where it has come from (apart from the letter box), and it may have been put through by someone who may just think I would like it (I'm thinking along the lines of Powlie). At some stage I will bump into someone who will ask me if I have enjoyed it, then I will realise who it is from. In the meantime.. a free book! Excellent!

Off to the hospital tomorrow for a heart monitor to be fitted, then it's ECG tests on Friday, followed by an appointment with the consultant. looking forward to it (if the old ticker holds out that long).

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drum kit

http://www.stanwilliamsmusic.com/drums.html

It's a drum kit on your keyboard!

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world cup interactive guide

http://www.marca.com/deporte/futbol/mundial/sudafrica-2010/calendario-english.html

It's all the info you need on one page

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IfItWasMyHome.com - Visualizing the BP Oil Disaster

IfItWasMyHome.com - Visualizing the BP Oil Disaster

This is amazing. It makes you realise just how large the spillage is. Don't forget that the oil is still flowing at the moment, with no great end in site.

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promotion at work and hospital visits

Damn! It looks like I will have to crumble and do some real work as I have been promoted to boss/team leader/head honcho whatever the hell it is I will be called. More importantly, it's OK with being in charge, it's not so good having to do some real work for a change. I have been going over stuff today with my line manager, and there's a lot more to be going over on Friday. I get more pay, but to tell the truth I am not that bothered about that, it's more the fact that a dickhead might become my boss if I don't accept the role. I can do whatever hours I want and still go on the freebie holidays, do overtime if I wish, and don't have to do sleepovers, on calls or weekends. I will still do some as I don't mind doing so, but at least I have the choice. Just a shame about the extra work.

Also.... the person I have been visiting in hospital since before going to Rhodes is still there, still hanging on grimly to whatever life she has left, although death is expected at any time. I have been through to visit yesterday and today, but I don't think that there is any recognition that I am there. It would be better if a load of morphine was given to help her on her way, as there is no way she is going to get better. As the old saying goes, if it was an animal it would have been put down by now. When I am in those shoes, I want the extra morphine.

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rhodes trip

Here's some photos from the work trip to Rhodes last week. It was hot hot hot and everyone was friendly, but more importantly, everything was paid for and it was all inclusive, including trips out. Managed to go to Rhodes town (Rhodos) and Faleraki, but mainly it was lazing around on the beach for the week, although we did end up at a Greek wedding on the last day, which was pretty lively to say the least.

Bit of a bugger being back in freezing England, but the good news is I have to book another trip for work in the next few days, to go somewhere else hot in September. Hurrah!! That will help me get over the struggle of returning to normal life.

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working on mount rushmore

These workers must be pretty brave, very hot and not scared of heights. What a job.

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back from rhodes

Here's me on the beach in Rhodes yesterday. It all seems such a long time ago, this time last night I was at a Greek wedding, then travelled overnight to get back home. The flight was delayed till 7.40am (from 5.15am) so I have had no sleep yet. Certainly off to bed pretty soon though, as there is a big day ahead tomorrow, what with it being Bank holiday Monday and the FPO's birthday. More news later.

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off on my hols

This will probably be the last post for a week as I am off to Rhodes this evening and don't come back until the 30th of May. It's a work holiday so its all inclusive and I get extra pay for going. What a result!

I'll be on the beach this time tomorrow.

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meal at robbos and inlaws gardening

I have only just uploaded these photos from last weekend, from when a free meal at Robbo and Kerry's was offered for Sunday and taken, the remains of which are photographed above.

The day before, Dazzer and Louise came down to visit and Dazzer (the mad git) got stuck into the gardening outside, digging out roots from the bushes. Luckily I could not assist as I had to go to work, but I did manage a couple of photos. The grass is no longer so high, as I cut it earlier on today (and hated every minute of it).

Can't say what for, but there was also a visit from armed police. I didn't get a good photo as it was too dark for the camera, but the gun and badge are on display (but not the face, as it was hideous!).

It's fun fun fun round these parts. See you in court.

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three nights in hospital

I have just finished three nights at work supporting someone who had to go into hospital. This was OK for me and I volunteered to do it, as I usually stay up pretty late anyway, so it was not too much of a hardship, just a bit boring. I originally went into work on Monday at 3pm, to be informed someone had been taken in, so I said I would go, and ended up working non stop until 1pm the next day, then back to the hospital at 9pm for the next night shift. Rather idiotically , I did not go to bed when I got back home for my eight hours kip, deciding instead to stay awake and make the most of the days. I managed to grab about two hours sleep each day for the last three days, and probably won't get to bed early tonight (I finished work today at 9am). This means I have had about six hours sleep since Sunday, but I have managed to watch a lot of films, read and listen to a lot of stuff. On my return home today I even decided to go outside and try and sort the garden out, the first grass cut of the year, which is always a right bastard of a job. Spent about forty seven and a half hours of continuous hard work grass cutting, then put together a wood burner and a table. I was mighty glad to be hitting the bath after that, washing off the filth of hard manual labour, stuff I am not used to.

Anyway, the main point was about the hospital support. I was there for three nights and whenever I decided to stretch my legs and have a walk, I wandered round the hospital by myself, hardly seeing anyone, and never getting asked what I was up to. Very poor security. I look like a stinking hippie most of the time and I could have had anything in my bag, luckily I didn't have explosives, just ipods and books. I won't say which hospital it was as the care they gave to the person I was supporting was really good, so I don't want to get them into trouble, but it was weird wandering around the place.

No work now till 7pm Saturday, when I get picked up to support people on a trip to Rhodes for a week. Hurrah! Better than hospital support any day. More news about the trip later.

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chris evans' new car

This is the car that Chris Evans bought last week. It's a 1963 Ferrari 250 GTO and it cost him 12 million pounds. Now I like Chris Evans, but he is one rich bastard and spending money like that makes me extremely jealous. One thing though, at least he knows how to enjoy his money, so good luck to him (not that he needs it). I hate to think what I would waste my money on if I was as rich as him, but I sure would like to try.

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lord triesman

With Becks and the 2018 World Cup Bid

Lord Triesman is 66 and a rich idiot

The posh educated tottie/slapper is 37

So, what a surprise. Someone else in a position of power decides to have an affair with someone younger. This time it's Lord Triesman, (the head of the FA) who has been caught playing away from home. The Mail and his old flame Melissa Jacobs (37) have stitched him up like a kipper. She was dating him (why?? money by any chance??) and then secretly taped him at a meal so the Mail could use the recording as evidence (you can also listen to the recordings on the Mail's website). The Mail have been keen to stress that Melissa is posh and educated ("A privately educated economics and biology graduate") and not just a money grabber, but it is all very seedy as far as I am concerned. If she cared about him, she would not have stitched him up, knowing his family would find out and he would lose his job. Also, there is no way she would have gone for him if he was not rich and powerful. There is also the fact that he has probably been hounded by the Mail as he is a Labour peer, even if he is an idiot for falling to temptation and then sending texts and slagging off other countries World Cup bids. Another sad old bastard gets done, another trollop shags and sells her story, another scoop for the Mail to wet its pants over, and a chance that Englands World Cup bid may be scuppered due to the accusations made over dinner. Never mind eh. At least the Mail got their story and the trollop got her money.

On a related note, the World Cup bid that Becks is handing over runs to 1,752 pages.

That will not be read.

Let's hope there are lots of nice photos for the committees to look at.

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football coalition

Aston Villa and Liverpool form coalition to claim Premier League title from Chelsea

NEWLY-FORMED coalition club Liverton Villa have controversially claimed this season’s Premier League trophy after combining the points totals of their former incarnations as Liverpool and Aston Villa.

The Premier League’s constitution allows for clubs to form a coalition if the side that originally won the league did so without a significant majority of floating glory supporters giving them their backing.

The coalition club have been locked in meetings to determine which elements of each side would remain in the merger. The long negotiations resulted in a deal that will see Rafael Benitez step down as manager and hand over a side to Martin O’Neill that will line up in a claret and red strip at Anfield next season, to the strains of You’ll Never Walk Alone (UB40 remix) .

Liverton Villa’s ‘dream team’ of American chairmen George Gillet and Randy Lerner said (speaking alternate words): “With our combined points total of 127 we were by far and away the best team in the Premier League this year. We therefore claim the trophy, and the full backing of the people.”

The coalition will spend the summer campaigning for a new points system, which will more accurately reflect supporters’ wishes by finally registering every kick as a goal, rather than just shots. More engagement with Europe is also expected, potentially via a close-season pan-continental 5-a-side tournament.

But commentators have been quick to question the stability of the Liv-Av coalition, pointing to significant differences in their season manifestos.

“This is naked political horse trading,” said an incensed Richard Keys on Sky Sports News. “The cracks will appear very soon, both sides have totally different policies on hoofs up the pitch, tricky wingers and the need for an Emile Heskey.”

Liverpool have been open to the idea of a coalition team since their season began to go awry in August of last year. The Reds flirted with fashionable Tottenham Hotspur for a deal, before eventually deeming them “unacceptably Southern”.

Usurped champion Didier Drogba angrily responded to the audacious Liverton merger. “It’s a f*cking disgrace,” he said. “And what’s more they sound like one of the fake teams from Pro Evo.”

From ' The Gaffer'

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dio again - kill the king