Booze, news and views from a drunken opinionated fool who can't spell very well, may well repeat himself, and can't blame it on dislexia
Monday, 1 February 2010
best and hancock
Sunday, 31 January 2010
up the arse - 3-1 away
Nani was superb in the first half of the game, and has had the best week of his United career. Another sweet result in a sweet week to be a United fan.
Who needs Vidic and Rio? (only joking, I hope Vidic stays at United).
Let's hope Arsenal batter Chelsea next week, and United don't relax too much against Portsmouth.
Bring on Milan!
toodle pip
Saturday, 30 January 2010
haiti on facebook
I definitely know some of my works colleagues would agree with this and send it on
Idiots
"Shame on you ENGLAND!!!!!! The only country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, mentally Ill without treatment and British servicemen and women fighting without the best kit - yet we donate £50 million to the people of Haiti...
99% of people won't have the guts to copy and re post this"
toodle pip
money money money and drummy
Had to pay the paper bill for one thing, 12 weeks worth, although that was only for the Observer every Sunday. Guess the cost though - £26.40!! Then there was my lottery bonus ball at the pub, ink for the printer, money for Mowgli's cremation, the lottery at work, money I owed Ritchie from Monday, Hayley's birthday money (birthday was today), etc etc...
And I am still sober! Called in the Wine bar to drop off my lottery money and never even had a pint, even though my sister was in there (amongst others).
Whaaatttt the Hell is going on?
Also, nearly forgot. Got a phone call from my sister last night to say Drummy from Gateshead had died. The autopsy was today apparently, but the word at the moment, is it was a blood clot related to him doing his ankle in over Christmas (he spent Christmas day in hospital). She was a bit upset as she had been with him the night he did his ankle in, and saw him for a bit (so to speak).
That is bound to cheer her up.
toodle pip
Friday, 29 January 2010
kill your friends and moses roper
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
megan and mowgli
I only knew Megan as a nice old lady in the Village, but it was clear that she could be hard on people as well as caring and generous.
I took B up to the front for wine and bread, but had to be extra careful as we had to walk past the coffin which was raised up on a flimsy looking platform, so there was a chance B might have knocked it off. That would have been something to see, but luckily for me (and everybody else), everything was OK.
Also went to get the remains of Mowgli today, as he had come back from the crematorium (not by his own steam of course). Got presented with a paper bag with a box inside, but upon opening the box, discovered a smaller green container with the ashes in, plus a card. It also had Mowgli’s name on it which was a really thoughtful thing for them to do, so top marks to them. Looks like that is where Jacko will be going when he pops it (or beforehand if I keep finding puke).
Not sure where to store Mowgli at the moment, but as long as the box does not get knocked so the ashes spill out, I don’t really mind.
Nozzer might get stuffed.
Toodle pip
3-1 against ciddy
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
my trusty steed
Now I just have to make sure I avoid any dog shit.
toodle pip
Monday, 25 January 2010
nicolas cave
How rich and how bored must he have been. Talk about keeping yourself busy. There is no way he could have enjoyed all of them, he needs to get himself a proper hobby (which I suppose he has, buying lots of stuff).
No wonder he dosn't do lots of films.
toodle pip
should go to bed
Sunday, 24 January 2010
edna and damage
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Friday, 22 January 2010
look at me!
I have been lying in bed reading Giles Smith’s ‘Lost in Music’ which was good, and resonated with me during some of the chapters (Marc Bolan, The Faces), but overall, I was not that bothered about it, although I was glad I had read it.
On the other hand, Dom Joly’s book ‘Look at Me, Look at Me’ was surreal and hilarious in places. Had a few passages where I laughed out loud (old school writing - not LOL), and I was glad I was not reading it on a bus or train.
It is meant to be his autobiography, but although it is based on facts, it careers off into wild tangents in the unlikeliest of places, when you are least expecting it to do so.
I will have to invest in some more of his stuff if it is similar.
Ah well, back to the dossing about!
Toodle pip
waltz with bashir
Thursday, 21 January 2010
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
return of the poo EXPLICIT PICTURES!!!!!
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
carling cup semi final first leg
What is happening with Manchester United? Just lost to Ciddy 2-1 at their council ground, with Tevez (of course) scoring both of their goals.
At least United dominated most of the game and played better than they have been doing. Looking good at 1-0 up till that wanker Mike Dean gave them a penalty, when it should have been a free kick outside the box for shirt pulling by Rafael.
That got them back into it, they played better at the start of the second half and we never took our chances.
Still, beat Hull on Saturday and we may go top of the league!
God knows how with some of the football that has been played this year.
We have a lot of improving to do before the Milan games in the Champions League. Let's hope Rio and Vidic are back soon (and Rio plays better than he did before getting injured).
toodle pip
Monday, 18 January 2010
thrust that chicken and rear that goose
To Carve, is to Cut up a Dish of Meat, but according to the Meats, use these Terms for their Carving
Break that Deer.
Leach that Brawn.
Unlace that Coney.
Chine that Salmon.
String that Lamprey.
Splat that Pike.
Sauce that Plaice and Tench.
Splay that Bream.
Side that Haddock.
Tusk that Barbell.
Culpon that Trout.
Fin that Chevin.
Transon the Eel.
Tranch that Strgeon.
Tire that Egg.
Undertranch that Purpus.
Tame that Crab.
Barb that Lobster.
Dight that Crevis.
Rear that Goose.
Lift that Swan.
Sauce that Capon.
Spoil that Hen.
Frust that Chicken.
Unbrace that Duck or Mallard.
Dismember that Hern.
Display that Crane.
Disfigure that Peacock.
Unjoynt that Bittern.
Untach that Curlew, and Brew.
Allay that Pheasant.
Wing that Patridge, and Quail.
Mince that Plover.
Thigh that Pigeon, and Woodcock.
Cut up that Turky and Bustard.
Break that Teal or Sarcel.
toodle pip
Sunday, 17 January 2010
Voice Band for the iPhone
Fucking brilliant!
At last I can unleash my songs to the world without interferance!
everythings back to normal
As things are back to normal , Nozzer has got a swollen cheek again, which means it's squeezing out the gunk and squirting liquid into the gap time. Nice.
He's fine and perky though, jumping up on the settee a lot and demanding attention. It's also a game of Russian Roulette when he scrabbles and bites your T shirt, as he gets carried away and bites your nipple. Pleasant at first, but now getting sore (but not as sore as my arse was).
toodle pip
Saturday, 16 January 2010
poo update
On the bad news front, the poos are still happening. I have had four today already. It's amazing, I am surprised there is anything left inside me. Don't get me wrong, I am a man who enjoys a good poo, and sometimes have two or three a day if I have drunk a lot/had a curry etc, but this is ridiculous.
I have now got some Imodium though, had two at 12.30pm and another one a few minutes ago (after another crap). Hopefully that will be the end of it.
I am at work again at 3pm so I shall see how it goes tonight, as I am on sleepover again. Hope I don't shit the bed at work, that would be sooooooo embarrassing!
On the good news front, as wished for on Thursday night, it has been raining and the snow has nearly gone. Hurrah!!
It wouldn't be so bad if my bloody car was still working, but I have to find other forms of transport at the moment. Roll on the summer.
toodle pip
Friday, 15 January 2010
pooing like the devil himself
I was at work and slept over, and even went to bed at a sensible time (11.30pm) as I was tired. Woke up for a few minutes at 4am, then 6am, and finally when the alarm went off at 7am.
Had a little fart just before getting up but lo and behold, I followed through a little bit in the process, nearly shitting the bed! Oops a daisy, off to the loo for a very watery poo and a clean up.
Got myself ready for work and felt OK, but before leaving at 2pm, I had about three more watery poos. Not a good sign by anyones standards.
Called in the pub for a larger on the way home and had another poo there. Walked back from the pub, had a poo again and decided to have some more sleep as I still felt tired.
Went back to bed at 3.30pm and stayed there till 8.30pm.
Did not feel hungry but I continued with the rather explosive watery poos till now, just before going to bed again for an early night (it's now 11.30pm).
My arse is red raw and I have not eaten since I had a sandwich at work about 12.30pm.
There's no Imodium to be found anywhere in the house ( Lord knows I have looked), so I have just had to suffer, maybe I have already entered the first stage of Hell.
Hope it's better in the morning!
toodle pip
Thursday, 14 January 2010
bloody snow
Still have not cycled to work (did I mention that my car is now scrapped?) as the weather has been so crap. We had more snow last night, and even though it is not too deep, it still prevents me cycling or walking far. It's been good for the taxi's so far, as that is what I have been using.
Wait till it all clears I say, there will be no stopping me on the old pushbike (apart from maybe a heart attack).
At least Tubbs had a run round the garden today before I left for work. Still putting rat poison down at night when he is locked away, but the buggers never touched it last night, even though I could see some little ratty footprints in the snow. Never had any coke left to mix with it, I will have to purchase some more as they love it with that.
Meanwhile...I have however, just had a shower (IT'S CHRIIISSSTMAAASS!!!) and am going to read for a little bit before having an early night. I may make a start on "I am Legend" which I got for Christmas. It must be better than "The Omega Man" film which was based on it (with Charlton Heston). Will Smith's version "I am Legend" was much better,so we'll see.
I still haven't been down to Leeds yet to see my brother, as I have either been working or the weather has been too bad. Going to have to go soon though, or he'll start getting paranoid.
Let's hope it pisses down tonight and gets rid of the snow (unlikely I know), that would help matters. It was good to have it for the hols but it has overstayed it's welcome.
Bring on Summertime!
toodle pip
still off work
Bliss bliss bliss. Pity it's back to work soon.
Suppose I had better get myself to bed to prepare for it. Damn!
toodle pip
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
Vanishing Point · 1971 -Trailer-
this is a great trailer for one of my favorite films. Makes me want to watch it again. Now.
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
off work
Enjoying Nurse Jackie at the moment, a new USA series which was good straight away and getting better. Not so keen on Wallender (UK version) though. A lot of the plot is just crap. Might have to invest in the box set Swedish version, as the one of them I saw was miles better.
I was a bit pissed off as I am waiting for a parcel containing blank cds, which I was expecting today, as I rang the post office this morning to ask them to deliver them (they tried to yesterday, but they needed signing for). I couldn't get back to sleep properly this morning as I was worried I might not hear the postie knocking (I sleep with ipod earplugs in).
What got delivered? Nothing!
I phoned again and left an irate message on their answer phone, so hopefully they will arrive tomorrow/today.
No work till 3pm on Wednesday, so I am making the most of it. Not even been out to the pub.
I must be going giddy.
toodle pip
Monday, 11 January 2010
moses roper and aswad
Sunday, 10 January 2010
alan davis is a racist - shoot him
I understand that Drogba is a diving, whinging bastard, who should be shot (that's not racist, just nasty), but Davis has just lumped him in with the Togolese team because he is the same (kind of) colour.
You know which one..........yes..........that's right..........black.
This gag, which is not even that funny, is racist.
If Bernard Manning had come out with that sort of cheap shit years ago, everyone would have had a go at him.
Let's shoot Alan Davis.
Tosser.
Saturday, 9 January 2010
High Society - Well, Did You Evah?
Class stuff this - they don't make them like these boys anymore
toodle pip
Thursday, 7 January 2010
mowgli has ceased to be
Took him to the vets this evening and of course he perked up for a few minutes, just to make us feel bad and doubt if we were doing the right thing. Git.
Went ahead with it and it was very peaceful for the old boy. Got him sedated first and then put to sleep, so he didn't struggle or anything. Mind you, when he was sedated, his legs were twitching a bit as though he was back to chasing rabbits again. Most running he had done for a long, long time.
He has now gone off to be cremated at Thirsk, and we are going to keep his ashes afterwards.
Something different to show guests I suppose.
Pretty emotional evening, but at least he is not in any pain now and he didn't suffer.
Going to miss the old boy, even though he was a bit stinky at the end.
Been threatening Jack that he (I know.. it's a she!) will be next on the list if he keeps weeing in Nozzers cage. Got to keep him on his best behaviour.
Nozzer has become more affectionate and started biting me (or maybe he is trying to kill me). Don't know if it's related.
Bloody animals, see what happens when you give them love and affection.
Toodle pip
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
work and mowgli
Holidays seem a long long time ago, even though I only got back from the last one on 6th November, about two months ago. It feels like a lifetime, and I suppose in a way it is, as one of the people I went with has since died (only a week after the holiday).
Since dying is now on my mind as well as holidays, a Mowgli update.
It seemed as though the vet thought he should have been put down today, but if he does not die at home, he’ll be back to the vets next week for a different injection.
Might see if Jack can be done at the same time in a 2 for 1 deal.
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
christmas is over
Saturday, 19 December 2009
drunken christmas
She is in bed, I am on the computer, but we have been watching some Christmas TV together earlier on.
A Welsh Christmas (or whatever the hell it was called) was pretty crap as far as I was concerned, but I did get a bit of grit in my eye at the end, so maybe it did it's Christmany trick of lulling you into a false sense of security before kicking in with Christmany stereotypical happy endings. Worked on me anyway.
Also watched BBC 3 (or 4 - I am upstairs and tipsy, so can't be bothered finding out which one is correct) musical Christmas do with bellowhead and the Unthanks (amongst others). That was pretty good, the kind of folk music I enjoy (but I don't mean just Christmas songs).
Going a few doors up the road for a party tomorrow night, which may turn out messy, so I should be in bed now, preserving my energy (what little I have left).
Then again, I think "What would Keith Richards do?, therefore I am still awake and tapping at this Godforsaken machine.
No doubt I will stay up till the silly hours, so there may be some posts or you tube clips later. VOTE OBAMA!
toodle pip
Thursday, 17 December 2009
Saturday, 12 December 2009
gimme shelter
This ended up with me pleading and a begging for her to watch the Stones Gimme Shelter film which was being shown on BBC 3 (or 4).
Obviously the words "I am Keith" and "You are Anita" were bandied around by me, accompanied by swigs from a bottle of whisky, as the good lord Keith would have done.
The FPO did watch the whole film, (drunk), and did enjoy it (to a degree). Lord knows I had to massage her shoulders and keep her entertained to keep her in the room, but it's important history for Gods sake. End of the 60's, someone being killed by the Hells angels, what more do you want?
OK, I am a sad twat - but it's still a great film, and relevant now, as part of the film showed the Stones at Muscle Shoales studios listening to a playback of their new song - Wild Horses, as currently done by Susan Boyle. Still think the Stones version is miles better though.
Wish I was older (if that is possible). I'd have loved to have gone to see some of the top bands while they were in their prime, plus I am a stinking hippie deep down (but with a punk attitude). I would have had a field day, top bands, free love and maybe indulge in the odd substance as well.
DAMN!!
Toodle pip
Thursday, 10 December 2009
COMPUTER FIXED (AGAIN!)
Patrick has come round and sorted the computer out again, so more posts to follow shortly. Could have been fixed a while ago but a certain sister in law lacks the knowledge.
You know who you are
toodle pip
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
monkey on a goat on a cup on a tight rope
l hate to think of how many beatings these took before they were trained.
Very clever though.
Sunday, 15 November 2009
Petticoat Lane (1903)
This all seems so strange. There are hardly any women about and the men are really keen on flat caps.
Most of the young rascals in the film would have been killed in the First World War.
We have never had it so good.
toodle pip
Friday, 13 November 2009
robbie williams
They have no need to take Robbie back on board, as that will overshadow everything they have achieved without him.
Maybe they should recruit Lee Pashley instead, as a laugh. I saw him while sailing the seven seas last month, and he was pretty good at the Robbie stuff, although also a bit too eager to please and be liked (just like Robbie in fact).
Can't believe l am even interested in this - l blame Kerry and Mandy.
Toodle pip
Thursday, 12 November 2009
Jake Thackray - The Remembrance
l know it's a bit late but l have been at work.
Here's to the remembrance
Monday, 9 November 2009
cruise cards
Saturday, 7 November 2009
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Saturday, 24 October 2009
the dark stuff
I have just finished reading it again, so it's time to stash it away again for a while, as l will no doubt read it again in the future.
It's amazing that he has so many quotes in the book, as he was well known for not taking notes or recording interviews (plus he was a junkie). They should therefore all be taken with a plateful of salt, but the book is still excellent if that sort of scene is your bag (maaaann!).
I certainly like it.
toodle pip
Friday, 23 October 2009
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
nozzers back (again)
When will it ever end?
At least his head is clear at he moment, (unlike my heart, which is full of love for him!).
One day we will run away together and breed a new race of rabbit men.
toodle pip
beeswax
And a look of half-surprise
Like a fox caught in the headlights
There was animal in her eyes
Oh she was a rare thing
Fine as a bee's wing
And I miss her more than words could ever say
If I could just taste all of her wildness now
If I could hold her in my arms today
Well .....I wouldn't want her any other way