the omen and disco pigs

A classic tale of terror starring Gregory Peck, who refuses to believe his little bundle of fun might be the devil himself. He eventually gets persuaded he is, and then has to kill the little white beast (see what l did there?), even though he should have listened earlier and saved a lot of lives in the process. Dated but still worth watching (first time l had seen it all the way through). l am now tempted to get 666 tattooed upon my person (ooer).

Wow! This was just so far fetched it was embarrassing. Admittedly there has to be a story somehow, and l am willing to overlook a lot of the things that happen in the movie, but this was bad. l did hang on until the end, to see what happened to the two 'linked since birth' next door neighbours, so l suppose the film worked in a way, but l just put that down to my general laziness and unwillingness to move from the sofa. The main lad in the film, Pig (Cillian Murphy), was a bit of a bad 'un to say the least, always getting into fights, and acting like a right 'id-jut'. Of course no-one had a go at him and there were no bouncers in any clubs to break up the fights His love from next door gets glassed in one pub, but then goes to a disco afterwards (and gets let in with blood still on her - still no bouncers). He goes to a bad kids school and walks on a table, being a prat, but no-one shouts at him or hits him (and of course there were no supervisors about). The final one however, is the worst. He goes to a disco, beats someone to death in the middle of the dance floor while everyone stands in a circle watching, (still no bloody bouncers), and then goes out after his girl and follows her into a taxi. No-one gives chase of course, stops him, or even takes the taxi's number. Two hours of my precious aching life gone forever, never to return, and for what? Sheer hatred of those sorts of films to keep nagging at the back of my mind and prevent me from sleeping soundly tonight. Bastards!

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of mice and men

Myself and the FPO watched the (1992) film of this last week (me for the second time), and both really enjoyed it. The best role was John Malkovic, who is really convincing as a big, dumb, hard man Lennie, (who wants to live off "the fat of the land" and look after rabbits).

I also read the (1937) book for the first time about a month ago, and l must admit, l prefer the book, as there is slightly more in it (although the film adaption is very true to it), and there are some imaginary scenes in the book whereby you can 'paint your own pictures in your mind' (maaan).

Both will be watched/read again at some stage in the future. Hollywood never let me down (this time), and Steinbeck never does.

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mark e smith - renegade

This was pushed through my letterbox (ooeer) a short while ago, and l finished reading it last week, but have no idea where it came from. I think I have some vague recollection of somebody asking me if l had read it when l was out and about (and drunk), but l may be having some kind of false memory syndrome going on there. Anyway, the book is what you would expect, some insightful stuff, and then lots of slagging everyone off. Well worth reading if you are a sad bastard like me, who lives by the rules of rock and roll (don't ask - there are too many). I am sure I will be out and about again and someone will ask me if l enjoyed it, then l will be able to return it (eventually). My money is on Powlie or Steve.

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nuts in may and bowfinger

Saw this yesterday and was not really expecting a lot from it. In fact, I thought I would probably only watch a bit of it and then switch it off when it became too crap. Amazingly, it turned out to be OK, although l still would not recommend it to anyone. I don't really find Steve Martin that amusing, but Eddie Murphy plays two parts in it and is mighty funny, so he makes up for it. Eddie has done so many crap films, it's easy to forget what a comedian he can be. His live (video at the time) show years ago was one of the funniest things l have seen (although not as good as Richard Pryor's). In fact, it's about time he did some more stand up. I'll have to give him a call and persuade him.

Watched this earlier on this evening. It was made by Mike Leigh in 1975 (shown first in January 1976), and it really shows. The roads are deserted, the clothes (and tracksuits) are terrible, the prices ridiculous, the tents are out of this world, and Alison Steadman (who plays Candice Marie) is still young.

Despite all that, l think it's one of the best things Mike Leigh has done, and l much prefer it to Abigail's Party, even if everyone raves about that.

Not a lot happens really, but then again, I like that in a film or play (It was a Play for Today).

status quo - caroline top of the pops 1973

This takes me back to when they were still a rock band and l fell in love with them. Only a mere 37 years ago.

I'll go get my coffin.

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johnny cash and kid rock

I've been watching videos on You Tube, and these two are just outstanding, it's what 'Rock n Roll' is all about.

Shame l am back to work tomorrow or l'd be out partying (he said sadly, sitting in front of a computer at 10.50pm on a Friday night). Who am l kidding? With my aching back, dodgy knees and stop/start heart? Time to retire methinks.

Or.......

Carry on regardless once my back has recovered properly.

I think l know the answer in advance.

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feeling old part 473

I came across these posters today from the first Donington festival in 1980. Christ on a bike, I was at the gigs, but it was nearly 30 years ago. It sure does feel as though it was a long time ago, but 30 years!?!

No wonder I am falling apart

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new layout!!

About time as well

can you see what it is yet?

That's correct, lots and lots of penguins. Thank God I don't have to clean up their mess afterwards.

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inglorious basterds

Just watched this with the FPO and we both really enjoyed it, even though it is pretty long. I wouldn't say I liked it as much as Pulp Fiction, but then again, that is one of my favourite ever films.

I actually bought the DVD from Tesco's ages ago, but when it was stuck on, it turned out to be the original version, and l was so pissed off that l didn't watch it. After seeing this one, l might even give the original another go, although the bits l did see of it were rubbish. It was also so '1970's', and at first l was full of praise for the way Tarentino had captured that era and feeling of that time (what an idiot l am).

The good thing about the remake is the way it often keeps you really involved with the action, as it is so tense, even when the characters are just talking. I also like it when people die when you are not expecting it, as that also keeps you guessing more.

It's a film l would probably watch again, but l don't think it would be so good the second time, as there would not be any surprises, unless I lost my marbles beforehand, which is always possible.

Well worth the (aprox) two and a half hours it took to view.

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recent films - alice's restaurant, live!, sidewalks of new york, moon, forgetting sarah marshall

A TV exec comes up with a game of russian roulette for high ratings - crap

Sam Rockwell is on the Moon working by himself with the help of an on board robot, when he rescues himself from a crash - intriguing and really good, plus the effects and shots of the Earth (and the Moon) are really believable

Sarah Marshall splits up with her boyfriend and then goes off with a rock star. Pretty crap, although Russell Brand got to wear some great shirts.

Love and romance in New York, a lot better than I thought it would be

A tale of hippies opening up a restaurant, with Arlo Guthrie playing himself, and based on his song 'Alice's Restaurant'. I really like it, even though it's pretty dated.

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it crowd and black books

I have been trying to get into the 'comedy' series Black Books, as it is being repeated at the moment, and it seems as though I should like it a lot. Bernard Black (Dylan Moran), runs a bookshop, is always getting pissed, and he does not like his customers. Ticks all the right boxes for me. It also stars Bill Bailey (who I usually find funny) and is written by Graham Linehan, the same person who wrote The IT Crowd. However, Black Books is crap.

Now the IT crowd is something I love. It has even managed to replace one of the main characters (Chris Morris as Denholm Reynholm, the boss of the company). He was one of my favourites (and I love Chris Morris), but they have made the series even better by replacing him (with Matt Berry as Douglas Reynholm, the new boss).

It's a bit like when Shelley Long left Cheers, and everyone thought the series would be crap if it continued. Then Kirstie Alley replaced her and proved to be even funnier.

Anyway, there is no comparison between The IT Crowd and Black Books, and it's hard to believe that the same person had a hand in writing both of them.

Father Ted was great, well acted and written, but, I also remember the series 'Hippies' that Graham Linehan wrote (starring Simon Pegg), that was as crap as Black Books.

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star wars propaganda posters

I am not a big fan of the Star Wars films, in fact l still haven't seen one of them all the way through, as l get bored with them too easily. I do however, think these spoof propaganda posters are pretty good. If I did think the films were great, l might have considered getting the Princess Lea one printed and framed, but l don't, so l won't.

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mongrels

This has been a really good new series with lots of adult humour and guest appearances. The latest one was Scott Mills, and oh bless my soul, how l have wanted to do this to plenty of DJ's over the years.

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whale jumps onto boat

This picture was taken off Cape Town (South Africa) and shows the moment a Southern Right Whale decided to leap out of water and landed onto the boat pictured. I bet the person in red on the boat crapped themselves. The whale slipped off afterwards and the boat sustained a lot of damage, including the steel mast being broken. I wish l had witnessed it. I would have leapt onto the whales back and rode it to shore to receive it's punishment for being a naughty boy (my aching back permitting)

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a new giant star

This is called R136a1 (snappy name) and is much, much larger than our pathetic (in comparison) sun. It is the largest star found, being between 265 and 320 times the mass of our sun. Luckily for us, it is also about 165,000 light years away, so there's no chance of us getting sunburnt from it, although we could certainly do with some more sunshine at the moment. I blame God (again).

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l am a cripple

I went out on Monday for the usual (when l get the chance) trip to the Wine bar to see Joe, and had a splendid time. I got picked up by the FPO afterwards, and also remembered to drop off some DVDs for Shaun and Paul (or is it Peter?). All well and good so far, but l then proceeded to prat about, pretending to faint or fall, and ended up hurting my back. It feels like l have pulled a muscle or something in my lower back, and l suppose it serves me right, but it is pretty damn sore. l am walking round like l have shit my pants (no change there then), but at least l got a day off work today (sadly l was already off work when l did it). lt does not hurt as much as when l pulled it years ago playing football, as l can pull my own shorts up (a bonus for the FPO), but moving and sleeping is pretty painful. I am aiming to be back at work for the weekend, so sadly it is not a long term illness. The worst thing is l can't really go out anywhere as l don't want to make it worse and l don't like moving about too much due to the pain. Maybe l should just hit what's left of the valium and go for it. It's not easy being a prat.

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blobfish

What a hideous looking creature. It also looks pretty pissed off to say the least. Maybe it's seen a mirror and realised what a crap life it's having.

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pythons fish dance

new sea creatures

These creatures have just been discovered off the coast of Australia in the Barrier Reef, they are pretty cool, but I wouldn't want to go swimming with the little bastardos.

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party in catterick - not!

Damn! I am trying to post every day and it has just gone midnight, even though to me it is still Friday night. Spent the evening in, watching the IT crowd, Question Time (which always takes a while due to the shouting at the TV) and holiday programmes.

Also watched Toy Story, as the FPO admitted she had never seen it before (which at first I thought was some kind of elaborate joke), so I ran (to the best of my ability) up the stairs for my DVD of it and forced her to watch it.

Luckily the result was a good one, she did enjoy it (through her alcoholic haze) so it was a job well done.

Afterwards, I went out to feed Tubbs the rabbit, and there was very loud music coming from the top right hand side of the estate. Naturally I thought "Investigation time" and tried to persuade the FPO to do the same. Obviously this did not work, so armed with a little bit of money, my bank card and a camera, I set of, fearlessly exploring the wilds of Catterick, looking for the party or 'happening', promising to return for the FPO (who had now gone to bed) if there was anything good going on.

Sadly, I found nothing. I relied on my senses (that was obviously a mistake) and followed the trail, but realised it was probably Louie's nightclub I could hear, louder than usual, but then again, I am not usually in my back garden at 11.45pm to hear it.

I did take some photos though, so all was not lost.

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I'm in a happy place - with mummy

Not really.

I am sick of doing so much work, it's been non stop at the moment as there are so many bleeding forms I have to get the hang of, plus the usual day to day running of a home (two homes). Stone me, what a life. Wish it was back to the good old days (that now seem so far away) of being a support worker, which was a piece of piss.

Just come across these pictures of the toy shop at Bootle broadway. The shop has been like this for years, and it does bring back happy memories when life was uncomplicated, I was flying past my 11 plus, and all I needed from life was a new Manchester United keyring/pennant/badge from the shop. Oh and maybe a bit more love and affection from my bleeding parents. I now blame them for the fact I am working so hard now, I'll just have to think of a reason, but that will come later.

I'm in a happy place.....

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death to all but metal

I may have posted this a couple of years ago, but it still hasn't lost it's power to ROOOOOCCK!!

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classic two ronnies

"What is a jockstrap?" Brilliant writing by (I assume) Ronnie Barker

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damn - back to work

That's it - I'm back to work today (going in 5 minutes) and don't want to go. I just know I'll have loads of stuff to catch up on when I get in.

I'm really looking forward to going to Turkey at the end of August. Can't bleeding wait in fact.

Damn!!

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chewing gum kicking and catching

I can do this (sometimes). I haven't stopped practising it yet so I'll only get better

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world cup final bbq

Went through to the sunny Boro last night to watch the World Cup final at Robbo and Kerries. They decided to do a BBQ, which turned out pretty good, but took a while before the coals got hot. There was smoke everywhere, the wind started getting up, and it also got colder. Great weather. Had a good time though (apart from not winning with my bet on Holland) as there was also plenty of booze. We were too full to have cheesecake for desert, but one of them got bought home and consumed back in sunny Catterick. Very nice it was as well, being a Tesco special that only cost £1. Bargain!

As usual, the weather today is still crappy and raining, and it has been pretty crap for all the days I have been off work (since last Tuesday). I bet the sun starts shinning again this week when I am back at work. I blame God.

Luckily I am off to the pub today to hopefully see Joseph (if the old git is still alive), so things are not too bad (although the FPO wanted me elsewhere). He had better turn up, or I will be in trouble (not for the first time).

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stings dye

As l am pissed off about not winning any money with my World Cup bets, l am about to dye my hair and leave this sacred lsle incognito. Rather sadly though, l think Sting has had the same idea, The unshaven photo is from a week (or so) ago. The bearded older one has been his look recently.

Good luck to the poor little chapie and l hope he escapes.

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bolan tattoo

I am a big fan of Marc Bolan, but I do think this tattoo is (slightly) over the top. Good luck to the (l assume it's a) girl, but l wouldn't have had it done myself.

At the moment, l am ignoring the World Cup final. I have just lost out on some money due to the Spanish bastardos (jo soy un hombre sincero). Never mind, what the hell etc

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scare the wife with raoul

No it's not really from the Sun.

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superman's tits

This is from the TV show 'The New Adventures Of Superman' with Teri Hatcher and Dean Cain. That is Superman's boob on display and I bet Teri Hatcher would have killed to have had boobs like that. If Superman displayed his Beeny bags in every episode like that, I might have actually watched the thing (with trousers down, obviously). Maybe I should just start stalking Dean Cain.

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guantanamera

When I was at work a week or so ago I heard 'Guantanamera' by the Sandpipers on the radio late at night. I had forgotten what a great peaceful song it is, so I have since downloaded it, and have been brushing up with my Spanish by singing along (much to the FPO's pleasure).

Lyrics below!

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Spanish language	English language
Yo soy un hombre sincero De donde crece la palma Y antes de morirme quiero Echar mis versos del alma Guantanamera, guajira, Guantanamera	I am an honest man From where the palm tree grows And before dying I want To share the verses of my soul.
Mi verso es de un verde claro Y de un carmín encendido Mi verso es de un ciervo herido Que busca en el monte amparo Guantanamera, guajira, Guantanamera	My verse is a clear green And it is flaming crimson My verse is a wounded deer Who seeks refuge in the woods.
This third verse of "Versos Sencillos" is usually not part of the song Cultivo una rosa blanca En julio como en enero Para el amigo sincero Que me da su mano franca Guantanamera, guajira Guantanamera	I cultivate a white rose In July as in January For the sincere friend Who gives me his honest hand.
This fourth verse is translated during the song as sung by Pete Seeger and Arlo Guthrie[3] Y para el cruel que me arranca El corazón con que vivo Cardo ni ortiga cultivo Cultivo la rosa blanca Guantanamera, guajira Guantanamera	And for the cruel one who would tear out this heart with which I live I do not cultivate nettles nor thistles I cultivate a white rose
Final verse of song, as published: Con los pobres de la tierra Quiero yo mi suerte echar El arroyo de la sierra Me complace más que el mar Guantanamera, guajira Guantanamera	With the poor people of the earth I want to cast my luck The brook of the mountains Gives me more pleasure than the sea

ringo and rain

The joke that Ringo was not even the best drummer in the Beatles (said by John), was just that, a joke. He suited them really well and grew with them all as they started to experiment more (although he was older and didn't do much drugs). As a tribute to Ringo, who was 70 a couple of days ago, here's a clip of someone mimicking the drumming on 'Rain'. Marvellous stuff - flash, but not too flash.

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false food claims

• apple cider vinegar can improve bowel movement
• the horsetail plant (Equisetum arvense L.) can help maintain normal hair
• green tea is good for blood pressure, cholesterol levels, bones, teeth and eyesight or that it works as an antioxidant
• cranberry juice can reduce the risk of urinary tract infection in women
• the probiotic Lactobacillus plantarum supports the immune system
• sugar-free chewing gum can reduce dental plaque
• glucosamine can reduce the risk of osteoarthritis

here's some of the food claims which have been thrown out by the European Unions Nutrition and Health regulation investigations
About time as well - bloody hippies

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police stand off in rothbury

I have just been looking at the BBC news website, and there is apparently a stand off between Raoul Moat and the armed police. My brother in law is in the armed police, may well be at the scene, and l hope to God he is not pulling faces like the copper in the photo, who also looks like he is holding a toy gun (although l am guessing it is a taser).

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loop recorder has been fitted

Up at the crack of dawn today (fnar), as l had to be at James Cook hospital in the Boro for my loop recorder to be fitted. I was shattered when l got there at 8am (too many late nights and earlyish mornings), but l was taken in first, so was pleasantly surprised to be back in the ward by 9am. The operation was OK, it was only a local anaesthetic and didn't take that long, but it stung a bit at first and l was also told later "This might hurt now, so grit your teeth". Not the sort of thing l want to be hearing just before they tried to ram the recorder in (ooeer). Anyway, l was soon back to the ward and then had to sit around untill 1.30pm when they discharged me. I just sat about listening to my ipod and waiting to have my blood and temperature checked every hour (blood pressure 117/76 when l looked at the machine).

Left the hospital and went straight to the KFC at Teeside park, as I was starving by then. Not very good to tell the truth, tables dirty and the food overcooked, which was a bit of a disappointment, as l had not had a KFC for a while. Back to sunny Catterick afterwards, then it was dossing about in front of the TV and knocking back the Pinot. Not sure if l should really be drinking with my antibiotics, but what the hell (he says as his heart explodes).

I have to go back in about five weeks for a check up, and now have a recorder thing l have to carry with me everywhere (for the next time l flake out), but apart from that, life goes on, only now l will be setting of the scanners at all the airports. Excellent stuff!

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