drive (2011) - nicholas windring refn

I had a lot of hope for this film, as l foolishly listened to advice from co-workers and internet message boards, which both told me that Drive was well worth watching. That probably shows me up as the fool that l am, and l shall never trust anybody else's opinion again, as it was pretty a mediocre film, at least to my tired old eyes. I would have liked it a lot more if somebody else had been playing the (unnamed) central character rather than Ryan Gosling, who's (supposedly) quiet, enigmatic, tough (and yet with a caring heart of gold) driver of the film, just left me feeling bored and annoyed (so no change there). I felt like taking his toothpick off him and ramming it repeatedly into his eye, just to get some sort of naked emotion from him, but l'm afraid the glass TV screen (plus a few court orders) prevented me doing so. The supporting actors were fine, and maybe Gosling just played the role as instructed, but l still hated his wooden performance.
Anyway, to skip through it, Gosling is a (very quiet) driver of getaway cars who falls for a woman and child (not in that way!) who live in his block. He then gets involved with some dodgy people, and helps out the (just released from prison) husband of the woman in a hold-up, which goes wrong. The husband is killed, and the driver tries to reap revenge on the baddies.
The violence is pretty graphic (no problem there) and Joan from 'Mad Men' is in it (always a good thing). The soundtrack (by Cliff Martinez - formally drummer with The Red Hot Chili Peppers) is excellent, and l realise the critical response to the film has been really good, but what the hell do other people know, it's a load of over-rated tosh and tripe, and they are all wrong.

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the banking crisis explained

They should have more people like this Irish chappie on the normal news channels.
From now on, all the bankers are 'fuckshites' in my eyes.

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team great britain's new kit

What a load of old tosh this new Olympic Games kit is (by Stella McCartney and Adidas), although l want one of whatever the guy on the left has stuffed down his trousers.

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golly football team from the valiant

While l was scanning some of my old Valiant comics, l saw this advert for a Golly football team, from when they used to be on the front of marmalade jars.
How times have changed, the advert would never be allowed today. This one is from August 1968.

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james cook heart tests

Out and about this afternoon at the James Cook hospital in Middlesbrough (again) for my heart loop recorder battery to be checked. Pretty routine stuff, but the person doing the testing seemed to be a bit concerned, and has said l need to see my consultant at Northallerton about the results. I sneaked a look at my notes while she was out of the room and it shows l had 58 episodes of Asystole during the last year (when my heart stopped). This did not cause me any discomfort, and l haven't fainted or anything, but l guess they might want to try me on some drugs (hurrah!!) or check me out again. Looking at the recent dates, l was in London for the Todd Snider gig (slightly tipsy), out and about on New Years Eve and Day (had the odd ale), and celebrating Manchester United beating Arsenal 8-2 in Portugal (pretty damn merry). I think l can detect a pattern already. Still, if that is the sort of lifestyle that is going to see me off, bring it on!
Obviously l'm indestructible, but this sort of thing would have seen off many a lesser man.

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guinness is good for you

No mention on the Guinness poster that it turns your poo black.

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clockwork orange imagry

Re-watching 'A Clockwork Orange' again the other night (one of my favourite films), l was reminded (as if l needed to be) how great, influential and iconic it was (and still is).
I saw it while still at school when there was a big fuss about the sex and violence in it, and how it was supposedly leading to copycat incidences.
All l can say is, it never did me no harm, and l have watched it many times over the years, at the movies, on dodgy videos and DVD's, and eventually on my own (and much treasured) legal DVD.
On the other hand, l'm sure the FPO will disagree.
The film was also withdrawn for many years, but the book is more violent. Maybe it was thought that intelligent people read, so would not perpetrate violence after reading the book, whereas the uneducated plebs who watch the film might.
It's also a good job l don't have kids, as the child in the last photo would be the way l would force my offspring to dress, male or female.
Viddy well my brothers, time for a moloko.

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killer vegetables

I've always said vegetables (and salad) are bad for you.

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the nest for the garden

This is the sort of thing l should have in the garden for the summertime. As long as the spiders stayed out of it, l would never come indoors again.
More info here.

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beavis and butt-head come alive

Ever wondered how Beavis and Butt-head might look if they were real?
Wonder no more, as here is a sculpture of them by  Kevin Kirkpatrick.
I'm also looking forward to the new series, as l used to love them years ago, and some of the new acts nowadays could do with being savaged by them.
I just hope they don't let me down, as these things are sometimes better when they are left in the past..

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goya's ghosts (2006) - milos forman

I was actually enjoying Goya's Ghosts right up to the point where they released Ines (Natalie Portman) from prison. Then it just seemed like a farce, with her gurning her way through the rest of the film in a less than convincing way (to say the least). 

She had been Goyas's model, until she was imprisoned by the Spanish Inquisition (who nobody expected) and tortured for following Jewish rituals (not eating pork).

Brother Lorenzo (an excellent, thoughtful, and brooding Javier Bardem) agrees to assist Goya (and Ines's family), to try and get her released, but succumbs to his desires when praying with her (she is, after all, naked).

Lorenzo defends the Inquisition and 'The Question', until he is put to 'The Strappado' himself, after which he confesses to being a monkey, and then disappears, only to return later with the all conquering French army (and a smug grin on his face, seeking revenge).

Ines (and the other prisoners), is released and searches, (with the help of Goya) for the child she said she had in prison (Lorenzo's). 

There is a lot of turmoil around the Peninsular War, but the only thing in the film worse than the gurning and shuffling,  is Alicia, the unbelievably toothy child of Ines (also played by Portman), when she is eventually found.

She came across like a bad Spitting Image caricature of Janet Street Porter back in the midsts of time.

If l had stopped watching the film after an hour, l would have recommended it, but it just gets sillier and sillier as it goes along. 

 It all ends badly, as Ines is pretty insane, Goya goes death, and Lorenzo is garrotted. 

Bardem was great all the way through, but that was it, as l could take or leave the portrayal of Goya.

Interesting at first (albeit mostly fiction), then crap (but with a funky hat).

As a footnote, rather sadly, 'The Strappado' is still used as a torture device today (including by the USA).

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the womans remote

Thankfully, the FPO keeps losing the remote controls in our house.

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murphy' s war posters

I like artwork and films, so have always liked the foreign posters for films, or even just alternate versions, and these Murphy's War posters, l prefer to the actual film (see below).

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and talking of cocaine.....smuggling goes wrong

And talking of Cocaine, this man was stopped with 72 pouches of it that he had swallowed to try and smuggle into the country.
I wouldn't want to be the toilet attendant cleaning up at the police station after he has discharged his unspeakably compact and numerous loads.

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old age medicine - cocaine toothache drops

I got a phone call today from the mother in law, asking if l would pick up some medication for her mother, as l was off work and live nearby. This l did (naturally cursing all the way), and discovered the medication was for codeine, a strong painkiller.
If it had been back in the old days, l could have got some of these toothache drops instead, as l'm sure they would have done a better job, both killing the pain, and making her full of the joys of spring.
Sadly, Tesco were out of them.

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judy fox's octopus and the boob/penis combos

I really like the Octopus (above) by Judy Fox, but there are also a load of strange boob/penis artworks by her at the site here (as well as some of her nudes).
I don't know exactly what to make of them, but l'd much rather have the Octopus in my home (staring out the idiot rabbit) than some nightmarish vision that may put me off boobs for life (and then what would be the point of living?).
I also like the Krishna one, but l suspect people may talk if l bought that one home (I've got a dodgy enough reputation as it is).

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l don't feel like chicken tonight

We keep getting these adverts for our local chicken takeaway shop at The White Shops in Catterick.
They are certainly persistent with their advertising policy, as this must be about the twentieth leaflet that has come flapping through our letterbox in the last couple of years, so l guess they must know l am a greedy chicken loving pig.
As l just stated, l love a good chicken meal, especially of the KFC kind, but the stuff for sale in this shop does not taste anything like the wondrous delight that the good Colonel introduced to a grateful public (me especially) back in the day.
You can also buy boxes of 'Southern fried' chicken at our local Tesco for about £3 or £4 (depending which amounts you want), which only require heating up a bit and then devouring like a madman while watching the football (at least that's the way l eat it, others may be different).
It's a shame, but unless the quality improves dramatically, l can't envisage a rosy future for this outlet.
The KFC outlets are often dirty looking and badly run, but at least the taste of those secret ingredients keep enticing me back for more of the same, whereas the chicken in this place just put me off.
I once drove to Newcastle from Catterick to get a KFC. With this place, l can't be bothered walking 10 yards from the pub doorway to get some, even when slightly worse for ale. Now that IS bad.

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the changing faces of cereal boxes

These are American cereal boxes from the good old days, and what they look like now.
I don't know about you, but l much prefer the old type of boxes and cartoons, as they seemed to have a lot more character.
I hate the rounded 3D type pictures they use nowadays, but then again, what do l know? l'm just a sad old git who's stuck in his ways and tastes.
From Retronaut.

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