the car and conker connection

I had to drop off my car recently for some minor work at a local garage, and rather than get up early to do so (as l stay up pretty damn late), l drove it down to the garage at about 6am, put the car keys through the garage letter box, and then walked home (and didn't bother going to bed). The conkers had fallen from some trees on the way back, and as l have been told they deter spiders, l picked them up to put on my window ledges to keep the eight legged bastards out.
Let's hope they work.

toodle pip

'spider' on the settee

This certainly freaked me out the other night. Mr Parrot had been pulling at the throw on the back of the settee while l was watching football on the TV, and it made it look like there was a big spider on it when l turned around.

To say l nearly crapped my pants would be an understatement. 

toodle pip

spider alert

A more than usual scary looking spider in the garage. It wasn't very big compared to some of the monsters in there, but l certainly didn't like the look of it.
It has now ceased to be, so panic over.

toodle pip

spiders - avoid australia!

Some very sensible reasons why nobody in their right mind would go and visit Australia.

toodle pip

limmy and the spider

Limmy has done a few videos where he is pratting about with a rather large spider. If you don't like spiders, they are a bit unsettling (to say the least), but the worst one he has stuck up has to be this one, due to the beginning.



AAAAARRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!HOW CAN HE DO IT!!!!!!!

I've still got a pretty large spider in my living room which has hidden behind a large bookcase, so every time l am in there l am on edge in case it suddenly appears. Then, despite my fear of them, the large brown bastard is going to meet a horrible end.
I just hope l get it sooner rather than later, as the non stop fear and anticipation will be the end of me if it stays hidden.
I could always clean the living room and move stuff to find it, but let's face it, that's not going to happen in a hurry. Here's Mr Parrot with the defensive bookcase in the background (spider still hiding somewhere)

toodle pip

bastard spiders appearing from nowhere

My hatred of spiders knows no bounds, so when one appeared in the living room the other day, l managed to kill it, and left it on the wooden flooring in the living room as a warning to others (as you do).
Lo and behold, the next day one nearly gave me a heart attack by dropping from the light attached to the ceiling in the living room, so l chased it down and managed to kill that (and a smaller one that tried to ambush me).
So, imagine my surprise when another one came running from cover in the living room the next day (to also meet it's premature death). AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Since then, l may be tempting fate, but the coast has been clear, and the dead spiders cleared away. l am however, a lot more on edge and unable to relax at the moment.
Bastard things (and they were bigger than they look in the photographs).

toodle pip

spiders take over a baltimore treatment plant

 

What a nightmare scenario.
This would be the worst job ever for me.  Having to clean out a Wastewater treatment plant in Baltimore, USA that has been over run with spiders. About 107 million of them, spread out over 4 acres. There is no amount of money available that would entice me to seek employment there. Grubby evil eight legged multi eyed bastards - l hate them.
The details and research paper about them can be found here.

toodle pip

a dog in a spider costume freaking people out

This is hilarious - although it would scare the crap out of me.
A dog running around in a spider costume.
A simple idea, yet very effective.
Enjoy.



toodle pip

huge spider found in rucksack

This is a picture of the rather large 'and feisty' huntsman spider that charity worker Nora Serrat has just found in her rucksack after she had returned from a two week trip to Cameroon on behalf of The Rainforest Foundation UK.
This is exactly why l am not too keen to travel to places that may have huge spiders lurking about, ready to pounce on me at the earliest opportunity. It's bad enough in England, let alone in a bleeding rainforest.
I think my old ticker would have exploded with fear if l had found this in my rucksack.
Evil scary bastards - all of them.

toodle pip

another hideous looking spider

Why on earth l scare myself by even looking at pictures of large spiders beats me.
This is one scary looking mutha, and it puts the willies up me (ooeeeerrrr!!).
Bastards.

toodle pip

poisonous spiders heading north!!

This is just the sort of news l don't want to be hearing.  The venomous False Widow spider is heading oop north, probably due to nice weather.  It's bad enough having to contend with the usual eight legged beasts without these additions to impede upon my already fragile and terrified mindset.
I like the way Mark Champion from the Wildlife Trust says'although the spider will bite, it's not something to worry about' (l take it that will be apart from the swelling, burning and pain).
He can fuck right off - l don't want one of these bastards biting me, that's for sure.
I blame God

toodle pip

more spiders from hell

Both of these are so, so wrong, and freak me out, although l will admit they are both clever, especially the hairstyle.
As if l haven't got enough to worry about without the fear of encountering spider type creations like these when l least expect it.
Both pictures are from here.

toodle pip

more spiders to be worried about

While l was watching some of Sir David Attenborough's series featuring the Galapagos Islands last night, something disgusting was revealed to me.  No, my pants hadn't suddenly fallen down, and l didn't pass by a mirror.  I wish it had been one of those options.  Instead, I saw some Amblypygi, (which are half spider, half scorpion) for the first time.  I'm scared of spiders, but not scared of crabs or anything else, but these look just as frightening as the spiders l already detest.  What is the bleeding point of them, if not just to add to my phobias and prevent me visiting certain places? Bloody hideous things.  As usual, I blame God.

toodle pip

sorting out the garage door

This is what our garage was like a few years ago.  Now it is worse. Much worse.
More untidy, full of more junk, probably full of cobwebs, and it needs the door fixing.
I'm looking forward to going back into it to check out the long forgotten goodies once we get the door fixed, but l am also dreading the spiders that will be waiting to pounce on me (and the builders trying to rip me off to fix the door).
My hatred of them (and fear), knows no bounds.
By the way, I'm still on about the spiders - l 'm not scared of builders (only on Tuesdays).

toodle pip

how not to catch spiders

I don't know why l watch this sort of stuff, as it just freaks me out, but here are two failures when it comes to catching spiders. Bloody things - l hate them. toodle pip

spider bites

I would like to point out that this is not my bum (l am pleased to say) as it is the photographs of a spider bite and it's spread while someone was on holiday.
Horrible little gits, no wonder l don't like them.

toodle pip

the spiders and the wagga wagga floods

I've posted before about the spiders hitting the high ground after the floods in Wagga Wagga earlier this year, but l still can't get over how disgusting (and frightening) it looks every time l am presented with a new set of photographs.
Disgusting. And who in their right mind would let their dog just walk through the webs?

toodle pip

the nest for the garden

This is the sort of thing l should have in the garden for the summertime. As long as the spiders stayed out of it, l would never come indoors again.
More info here.

toodle pip

more pictures of the wagga wagga spiders

Even more photographs (from Time magazine) of the spiders heading to high ground after the floods in Wagga Wagga recently.
I hate them all.
Gits.

toodle pip

bloody spiders in wagga wagga

After the recent floods in Wagga Wagga, the spiders moved up a bit and span their webs on higher ground. Yet another reason for not going to Australia, as there is no way l could walk across those fields.  Bloody spiders.

toodle pip