hand written messages at the kfc

When l was at the Catterick branch of KFC yesterday (I'm still not used to having a branch at Catterick!), my order came with a handwritten message at the top, which l did not notice until l had driven away from the premises.
Now this meant l immediately considered two options. First of all, and the one that would have been more likely years ago, was that the girl who was serving me took a bit of a shine to my cheeky charm, and left the message as a flirtatious one off. The second, more likely option, is that she was just being friendly, and leaves a message for most people. Either way, a nice gesture, that enhanced the already joyous experience of purchasing chicken and chips.
I suppose there is also a chance that the staff are slave driven worker drones on less than minimum wage who have no say in the matter as it is now part of company policy, and face instant dismissal if they fail to adhere to the strict work code, in constant fear of losing their jobs, and having to plaster on fake smiles all through their mind numbingly tedious shifts, while waiting for the aching in their feet from standing all day to abate with the sweet relief of death, or the clocking off time, whichever comes first.
I hope it's one of the first two options.

toodle pip

jeremy hunt's student photograph, and following him around

If only this photograph of a young Jeremy Richard Streynsham Hunt as the Oxford University Conservative Association President was real, instead of being a mocked up one. What unbridled joy could have been had.
Still, it's worth putting up anyway, as this is now the image l have stashed away in my memory banks whenever l think of the NHS destroying Mr **nt (him destroying it, not sadly, the other way round).
And who the hell has 'Streynsham' as a middle name?
Don't start making me angry....
Also, on a related note.
This piss take from 'The Last Leg' was pretty funny, and there should be more of it.  *unt should be followed everywhere, as l'd certainly chip in to help fund a full time tuba (sousaphone) player. Come on somebody - sort it out!



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steven tyler is old

Even internationally known super cool rock stars have to get old (unless they die early), and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith is no exception, looking at his recent beach photographs.
It's bad enough for us mere mortals, but at least we don't have to live up to a mental image of our younger days for millions of fans, with numerous films and photographs of us in our prime to perpetuate the illusion that aging only happens to other people.
I'd feel sorry for the stars if they hadn't usually had such fantastic lives, with pretty much anything they wanted just a click of the fingers away (apart from a working painting in the attic).
Remember Aerosmith and Stevie boy this way...probably off their faces (It was 1977).



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dortmund fans europa league banner

The Dortmund fans unveiled a massive banner at their Europa League match this week, in the form of a sticker album, asking the club to complete their collection of trophies with this years Europa League trophy.
Absolute genius, and l doth my cap to them.
At least, for a short while, it took my mind off the disaster that is Manchester United at the moment, and their 2-1 defeat in the same tournament.
But only for a short while.

toodle pip 

eating from bowls

Eating from plates is just sooooo passe. The way forward is to eat from bowls, it's what all the hot skinny people are doing. It's a 'trend with traction', and they are conveniently photogenic for sharing on social media - proper instagram friendly, and no mistake.
Don't believe me? The New York Post are on the case. I'll never eat from a plate again. After all, it's the same food, but just not as good. Plus you've got the mind numbing task of having to push your food to the middle of the plate to mix it up a bit. What????
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.
Come on - join the bowl revolution brothers and sisters. This is the sort of stuff my great grandfather fought and died for. Let's make him proud that his death wasn't in vain.

As for my bowl, l just don't want most of the crap featured above in my one. It does mean that l can now smother my baked potatoes in even more butter, something l never thought would be possible, so hurrah! for the hipsters and their innovative forward thinking ideas.

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be prepared - order your coffin now!

Looking forward to the sweet release of death?
Plan ahead and order your coffin now - many are available, including these little beauties.
Order them here.

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which way is the lady turning?

A classic optical illusion, that you might not even spot at first

From here

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the six nations

From The Daily Mash 

Rugby’s Six Nations will see England’s pubs upgrade to a higher class of loud, annoying men. In an extensive annual re-fit, the King George in Swindon has swapped Premier League banners with the flags of the home nations and barred all its regulars for the next month. Landlord Stephen Malley said: “For the next few weeks we’re going to be attracting a much better class of boorish lout. Many of them will be called ‘Ollie’. “The place will be awash with salmon-coloured trousers, desperately immature songs and posh young women who are every bit as annoying as their ghastly boyfriends.” He added: “They’ll still get horribly pissed and vomit all over the toilet floor, but it’ll be a better educated vomit that’s programmed to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ even if it doesn’t really mean it.” Rugby fan Martin Bishop said: “It’s so nice of the football fans to make way, but it will also give them an opportunity to improve themselves.”

 I couldn't agree more

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it's 1923 - where's london?

This picture above is of the crowds milling in and around Wembley Stadium, for the 1923 FA Cup final (The White Horse one).
I've always found it amazing that so many supporters managed to get inside the stadium that day, but l am even more amazed that London appears to have disappeared, as poor old Wembley (old school one) was all out in the sticks on it's lonesome.
How times have changed.

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celebrating chinese new year

What better way to spend Chinese New Year than in an all you can eat buffet?
The food was nice, and we had a laugh, but if l ever see another sweet and sour piece of chicken, l am going to run away scared. I know my limits.

"Go on...........one more tiny little mint.......whaffer thin"



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jesus speaks

If only he had started with this.  It would have stopped some arguments straight away.
Then again, there are plenty more to be had.

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I'm back (with cartman).

Christmas is over - normal service has been resumed, and what better way to return than with a classic video of Cartman singing 'Poker Face'. Possibly even better than Lady Ga Ga's version, and l love that.
I only watch South Park now and again these days, but there's usually always something that makes me laugh out loud.
Especially Cartman - for many reasons, he reminds me so much of myself.
Let the madness continue.

toodle pip

art - what is it good for?

A couple of days ago, while trying to ignore proper work, l read the comments below in the letters section in The Northern Echo. Since then, there has been no response, so here's mine.
I'm all for councils trying to save money, and the article made it out as though there are many funds that should be utilised because they are not used. A good argument.
On the other hand, speaking as a a supporter of the downtrodden, poorly educated  mass who, in the future, may wish to gaze upon awe inspiring works, makes me ponder the thought....what will happen to the artworks if they are sold? I'll tell, you what. Locked away in private collections so none of the proletariat can view them. A short term gain for the councils that makes the rich happy, and the poor even more disenfranchised.
Art is for the people brothers and sisters, it's one of the rare opportunities to be close to a work of greatness, and imagine infinite possibilities, and an age of wonder.
Then again, we could flog them off to rich bastards, and spend our times looking at each other, wondering where it all went wrong (There was no revolution).
I know where l stand.

toodle pip

nigella talks dirty (again)

I've featured this clip before, but what the Hell - it's Christmas, and it's funny.
Nigella Lawson talks dirty.

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michael jackson's children

Prince and Paris Jackson

                               Michael Jackson himself, in various stages of colour and appearance

                        Michael's dermatologist, Arnold Klein (now deceased).  I'm suggesting nothing

It's long been speculated that Michael Jackson's children (his birth ones, not the allegedly interfered with ones), are not genetically his, and anyone seeing them growing up must be pretty blind if they thought otherwise.
However, l've nothing against Michael bringing them up as his own, as long as everyone is happy and taken care of (with no fiddling). It's also good to see Paris having a laugh and doing the moonwalk, but l think that deep down, they may be very damaged individuals, who will be in and out of the news for years to come. Especially the girls.

                              For The Daily Mirror film of Paris doing a short moonwalk - look here.

toodle pip

donald trump and boris johnson

The Daily News have got it spot on, an old adage that is still true today.
I think Donald Trump is a joke, but a dangerous one, who may well get elected.
Normally l would say 'Only in America', but then l think of our own loveable nincompoop, Boris Johnson. l wouldn't be surprised if he rocks up in the future as the leader of the Conservatives, and possibly the country. A bright man pretending to be a bumbling idiot, who has not hidden the fact that he thinks some people (let's face it - the poor) are too stupid to improve their lives. I suppose it's still better than the spoon fed idiots acting bright that we are lumbered with at the moment.
But not much.
Bring on the revolution!

                                                         Possibly our future 'glorious' leader

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the new beatles statue in liverpool - plus more

                                                   
                                                        Photos by Paul Dean, from here

A new Beatles statue by Andrew Edwards has been unveiled on Liverpool's Pier Head by John Lennon's sister, Julia Baird, and the deputy mayor of Liverpool.
It is looking towards Ireland and the United States, and at least it looks like them, unlike some earlier efforts.

                                                           The one at Mathew Street

                                                       John Lennon outside The Cavern Pub

                                                                        Cavern Walks

     Ringo Starr outside the 'Hard Day's Night' hotel (and George Harrison, below, also outside said hotel)

And there's more!

                                                                   Altmaty, Kazakhstan

                                                                            Houston

                                                                          Mongolia

And last, but not least ....... the waxworks at Madam Tussauds

My favourite one is probably the John Lennon one in Cuba, which you can sit next to. One day, l intend to do so.

 toodle pip

the destroyers captain is.....

The United States' largest destroyer, the USS Zumwalt, is heading out into the Atlantic for sea trials.
It looks pretty impressive, state of the art, and space age (or a council block of flats like The Byker Wall), but the best thing about it, is that the captain is called.......wait for it..............Captain James Kirk.
His parents must have had a sense of humour, but surely (don't call me Shirley), due to nominative determinism, he was always destined to have that kind of job.
More about this story here.
Spot the original one below. Clue - one is minus the 'T'.

This One?

Or This one?     

                                                           USS Zumwalt tries to hide

toodle pip

holly woodlawn is dead

As a fan of pretty much all things Lou Reed wise (discounting Metal Machine Music), and a lot of the Andy Warhol stuff, the death of Holly Woodlawn on Sunday was another addition to that great art collective in the sky.
Don't know who she is? Only the 'Holly came from Miami FLA' in Lou Reed's 'Walk on the Wild Side', one of the greatest singles of all time, which reached the giddy heights of #10 in the UK charts back in 1972. 'Little Joe' is still alive, but he's the last one of those mentioned in the song that is still alive now.
Luckily, there's still John Cale, Moe Tucker and Doug Yule left from The Velvet Underground.
Enjoy them while you can.
More about Holly here.



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bon scott and the valentines

Well l never! I didn't realise until last week that Bon Scott, the original singer of AC/Dc, used to be in a band called The Valentines. I always thought that he was AC/DC's driver, who then took over vocal duties, but The Valentines have never been on my radar, despite loving the early AC/DC stuff and seeing them live many times.
Also....Nice hair.

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