euro 2008:spain-germany 0:1 torres goal

Excellent - won a £10 bet with this. Robbo knows fuck all about football

meal out

Had a good time last night, Friars Head by Leyburn for a meal (£160 this time). Food was really nice, plus we drank a lot but did not get too pissed, so we (Me, Mandy, Robbo and Kerry) could all savour the taste for a change. Slept in Mandy's parents caravan afterwards, bit cramped but fine for a place to crash out. Robbo was snoring all night so we didn't get much sleep, wish l had remembered to bring my ipod, so l could drown him out. Sat outside the caravan this morning, under a large awning, discussing plans for New York in September. We fly out on my birthday, so technically l should get to choose what we do on the first night there. This however, depends on Mandy shutting up and letting me have my way, which l can't see happening. Robbo and Kerry have buggered off back to the Boro as they are joining a gym today, poor sods. Wouldn't mind going to a gym but l wouldn't be able to stand anyone else being there at the same time.
Picked up my car from the garage, been having its MOT. Good result, only needed £30 worth of welding, which has been done. £79 bill in total, great stuff.
Off to get a bike or two from Halfords now. Robbo has left his bank card, so l will have to try and crack his identification number and go on a spending spree. Can't decide what to do tonight, may go for an Indian with Dazzer and Louise, decide later on, bit early for those kind of decisions. Killing time at the moment waiting for Mandy to put on her makeup and get changed. Could be a long day ahead.
Toodle pip

Very Rude Video

Watch till the end

John Martyn - I'd Rather be the Devil

This is when he was still good looking, great song but some dodgy camera work (bloody hippies).

lazy friday afternoon (there's no need to worry)

Off work and it's bliss again. Lazing around, putting cds onto itunes, reading magazines, listening to podcasts and cds, eating cheese on toast and watching last nights football (Spain v Russia).
Car is getting it's MOT, needs £30 worth of welding doing, which is being done as l type this. Picking it up in the morning, once it has been through it's re-test. Got to tax it at the end of the month as well - bloody things.
Off out for a meal tonight. Booked the table for 8.30pm, meeting up at 6pm. probably be half drunk by the time we eat. Last time we went, l had been out all day and couldn't remember much about the food (although l remember the bill - £140). good place though (The Friars Rest, by Leyburn). Also been watching some Family Guy, think l am starting to prefer it to the Simpsons. High praise indeed.
Toodle pip

time is too short

It's a bleeding nightmare liking so much music. I know even if l lived for another 20 years (unlikely) l would not have the time to play everything. There's loads of old cds and albums l want to hear that l have only heard about, plus l get new stuff all the time (oh how l like to try and keep up with the kids). l've got a pile of cds in front of me l am trying to plough through and give a few listens to. In no order these are :

British Sea Power - Do You Like Rock Music
Nick Cave - Dig lazarus Dig
Coldplay (l know, l know) - Viva La Vida
Guillemots
The Feeling - Join With Us
Fleet Foxes
The Courteeners - St Jude
Vetiver
The Last Shadow Puppets - The Age Of The Understatement
The Hoosiers - The Trick To Life
Moby - Last Night
The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
Nine Inch Nails - The Slip

Plus l have some old albums l have just got but not heard yet :

John Martyn - Various cds
Pink Fairies - Best of
The Incredible String band - The Hangmans Beautiful Daughter
The Beatles - Twickenham Sessions (8 cds!!)
Bob dylan - Various Bootlegs
Beach Boys - Smile (New Version)
Captain Beefheart - Safe As milk

Then there's the books l want to read, football l want to watch, podcasts l want to listen to, films and TV l want to see, pubs and places l want to go to, plus time l want to spend lounging around doing nothing. Also have to spend quality time with the other half and my mates. Nearly forgot the 27 wanks l try to fit in during the day. No wonder l hate having to go to work!!

Toodle pip

PRN medication

Been giving P.R.N (as and when required) medication for years know. Never really thought what P.R.N stood for until talking about it earlier on today. Guessing at Prescription something something or Periodical something something. Looked it up in the end, it’s pro re nata. Bastard. Wish l had had a classical education.
Toodle pip

reading books

Back to reading books again. Re-read Three Men in a Boat and Diary of a Nobody. Both old (Victorian books) but both have some great bits of humour in them. Stuff that is funny really can stand the test of time. Favourite bits are “come and see the skulls etc” from Three men, and Pooter waking up during the night “laughing so much at what he had said earlier, it made the bed shake” in Diary.
I have not given more details as you should read them yourselves. Don’t get me wrong, they are not the funniest books out there, but as Aswad said “Without knowledge of your past, you’re like a cabbage in this society”.
Toodle pip

magical memories

After going on about how great the European Championships have been, l suffered 120 minutes of the Italy v Spain game. What a load of crap, miss laid passes everywhere, the ball knocked around the halfway line by both sides and ltaly playing for penalties when they are crap at them. Want to forget about the game as soon as possible, but it made me think of other football memories that most football fans of a certain age (especially Manchester United fans) will have burned in their collective memories. Here's a few..

George Best going round the Benfica keeper in the 1968 final
George Best scoring six against Northamton
Gordon Banks' save from Pele
Denis Law's backheel for City against United
Cruyff's turn
The Coventry donkey flick up free kick
Montgomery double save against Leeds in the cup final
Van Basten's volley
Gascoigne scoring against Scotland and getting the drink squirted at him
Manchester United winning the European Cup in injury time in 1999
Arsenal winning at Liverpool 2-0 in the last game of the season to beat them to the League
Keegans "l would love it" rant
Beckham scoring from the half way line and "you'll win nothing with kids" from Hanson
Cantana and his kung fu kick
Maradona against England
5-1 for England against Germany
Manchester United coming back from 3-0 to win 5-3 at Spurs
Manchester United coming back from 2-0 to beat Juventus in 1999
Manchest United winning at Newcastle 1-0 with Cantona and Schmeichel outstanding
Manchester United 3-0 against Barcelona in 1984
Giggs agianst Arsenal in the Cup semi final and running around with his shirt off
Scholes volley direct from a corner
Charlie George lying on the floor after scoring in the Cup final
Ricky Villa's dribble and goal in the Cup final
Gascoigne going crazy in the Cup final and then getting injured

l could go on a lot more as football has provided so much enjoyment to me over the years, always something to look foreward to (unless it's watching England). The most recent and unbelievably fantastic memory being........

Go on, guess it.......

John Terry slipping and crying like a baby

Oh what joy!

Toodle pip

Turkey v Croatia highlights

check this out - it's the Croatia v Turkey highlights (see yesterdays post). Fantastic!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/euro_2008/7466929.stm

extra time football

Didn't watch the whole game tonight as l have been using the sky+ to record them, then flicking through games if they are good. Switched on the Croatia v Turkey game tonight as l was not that fussed about watching it, so l looked to see what the score was. It had just gone into extra time so l sat and watched till the end.
What a finish to the game. Extra time, last minute, then Croatia score and think they are through with a 1-0 win. Then in injury time in the extra time (ie about a minute later), Turkey hoof it upfield and score a cracker. the game then goes to penalties, which Turkey win. Cue scenes of great joy and despair. Turkey are sneaking along like Greece did, but with loads more excitement and rip roaring endings. Coming back from 2-0 down in the last game seemed unreal but this was mad.
Football is fucking brilliant, like music, it has the ability to transport you to a different place instantly, whether it be a place of great joy or despair. Both have the ability to make me cry like a baby, big soft git that l am.
Glad England aren't there to fuck it up more, the tournament has been excellent recently, and l have been able to enjoy it without all the hype and bullshit that goes with the England team. Then there's the ex professional commentators who are out there anyway with the BBC, easy to pick on but they are crap. Then there's the fans. The England ones would only fuck up that atmosphere as well. Give me Manchester United anyday.
Hope Turkey beat the Germans as l like Turkey (although l also like Germany, just not as much). Would like Holland to win it, but Italy might well come good and spoil it by winning again.
Anyway, soon be the start of the new English season, will be watching Manchester United v Liverpool in New York, bit of a treat for the girls going with us as l don't think they know yet! SUPRISE! if they are reading this. Till next time..
Toodle pip

BASTARD WORK

Bastard Bastard Bastard – l am now back at work and having to get back to some kind of normal life. What a twatting thing to have to do.
Have been off work since the 10th May, which is a good result really, can’t really say l haven’t had long enough off and l have also been to Amsterdam in that time, but that’s not the point.
Although the work is piss easy, l would still much rather be off. Can’t stand it when people are off for a while and complain they are bored. Get a life, read something, watch films, go to the pub, listen to music or stay in stroking the pet (so to speak).
It’s like when lottery winners say they are going to stay in the same job and house, “may get a new car though”. Idiots all of them.
Travel, do things, make the most of life. If you still want to work for the fun of it, have your own business and enjoy it for the sake of everyone sane. Everyone who has not won but would like the opportunities it presented. Bitter bastards like me who are now BACK AT WORK!!
Will post this tomorrow when l am back home (sweet, sweet home, missing you already).
Just finished watching the Germany v Portugal match, and have nothing to do now, which is why l can type this, but still complain about having to attend my piss easy job. Snag is l am not allowed internet access at work for personal use, so have to save posts and do them the next day.
Will definitely be putting more posts up now (keep saying that, but this time it’s true), as l am now back to being a working drone (or is that wrong, is a drone a worker already? I think so, but can’t be bothered looking it up). Either way, l have been welcomed back to the machine. BASTARD BASTARD BASTARD!!!!!!!!!

Toodle pip

new york bars

Going to New York again later in the year, here's one of my favorite bars in the Village, the Macdougal Street Ale house (down the stairs). Bound to go to the Red Lion again as Kerry loves it, the White Horse Tavern because of the Dylan (both) connection, and Toads Place (or Toads Hall, l forget), as it takes it's pool playing seriously. Might even do some other things.

milan

Me in Milan
Robbo and the girls
Me at the airport
Me Robbo and Kerry at Newcastle airport

Not back into the swing of posting all the time yet, so as l have just put up some pics from Amsterdam, here's some more from Milan earlier in the year. Toodle pip[

amsterdam

Mandy and my painting

The girls are drunk

Me pissing like a king in the street

Taunting Robbo with drink

Back in the Coronation

Here's some photos from the Amsterdam trip. usual thing, flew out from Teeside (now Durham Tees Valley, although everyone still calls it Teeside Airport) with Mandy, Robbo and Kerry to Schiphol airport, about 20 minutes from Amsterdam. Flight only takes about one hour so it's great. taxi to our hotel (Rembrant) on Herengracht then had to leave our bags while our room (one large one between us all - ooh er!) was made ready. Went to Gauchos for a meal, lots of meat and pints of Jack Daniels and Coke. Therefore, we had spent loads before we even booked into the hotel. Came back to get changed then out again to the red light district, where we stayed all night. Up to no good, as you can imagine, but a lot better than we have been in the past. The girls went back to the hotel early, so me and Robbo stayed out for a chat, drink, and filth patrol. Take away on the way back to the hotel,bed, then woken up in the middle of the night with the window slamming shut. made everyone wake up pretty damn quick, as everyone (apart from me obviously), thought that someone had been shot, it was that loud.

Same kind of thing the next day, drink, filth and food. Bought a painting from the market, Mandy showing her love for it in the above pictures. Taxi to the Airport in the evening, where our flight was delayed, so we had more drink in the waiting area (see me taunting Robbo above).

Taxi back to Robbo and Kerry's for the night, then, as usual, finished the trip off in the Coronation in Acklam, before heading home.

DVD's got through customs, everyone is still in one piece, so a success all round. Next trip is probably New York in September. Can't wait.

Toodle pip

funeral

Mums funeral was on Thusday 5th June, couldn't get it any earlier. Went OK, the Cd's that we had would not play on the church system, useless bastards, you would have thought that they would have tried them out earlier so we could make other arrangements. probably did not want to play them as one of the Cd's was imagine by john Lennon, which they were reluctant to play as "imagine no religion" lyrics were involved.

My mums brother Ray came up from Liverpool with his wife Ann and two of their kids, Tony and Gary. great to see them, plus Ann's sister Marie and husband Roy. had some games of pool with them later on, must admit, they are good players, just not as good at doubles as me and Robbo.

Travelled with Ray in the car behind the hearse and was glad he held it together, as l would have been blubbing if he had started. Otherwise, l felt as l thought l would, detached from it all. Red hot in the church, sweating like the filthy pig l am, but cooled down once l acclimatised to it.

Had a short Methodist funeral, then a quick reading at the graveside. not many people turned up, but it was a lot more than we thought would be there originally, as she did not have many friends, mainly because she was not very nice with people, probably where l got it from.

Got some cheap and cheerful (not the right word obviously) funeral directors from Bedale who did a sound job. mind you, we haven't got the bill yet. Got to sort out mums insurance, pay them, then that's it - back to normality.

Went to Amsterdam between the death and the funeral, report and photos later.

Toodle pip

working class and proud of it

Being working class - what is it good for? It pisses me off when people pretend class does not matter, everyone has had the same opportunities and there is no such distinctions made when applying for jobs, the army, or university. So many middle class asses pretend they are working class, they have had it hard, they have made it on their own etc etc. What bollocks. I don't care what class a person is, as long as they are honest about it. There are good and bad in every class, l defend the working classes as l am one of them, but fuck knows it is difficult. l would be the first to admit there are loads of narrow minded, vicious dickheads amongst the working classes, and way too many who vote Conservative because they read the Sun newspaper and don't question anything - no wonder the rich take the piss. however, at least most of them have had a piss poor education and hardly any parental backing, so don't expect a lot and don't think they deserve anything great from life, except for being factory fodder or front line army troops. Can't blame them if they turn to crime to make money, although a lot of the time it is robbing their own class, when they should be robbing the rich. The middle/upper classes have had a great education and make informed choices when it comes to taking the piss. I do know some middle and upper class people are sound, but for fucks sake, l wish they would stop pretending they are from the streets and have had it hard. Just be thankful you've had it good, and treat everyone the same. Working class heroes? Don't get me started on John Lennon either, semi detached suburban hero more like, but at least he stood up for the working class folks.
Bit pissed at the moment and rambling, so l will head off, as l have a BBQ to go to in 15minutes - in a privately owned house as well. Class traitor l am. Toodle pip

mum has died

It’s happened at last. Our mum died about 4.20pm on Saturday, after being pretty much out of it for a couple of days. We were all there the night (and day) before as we were expecting her to go any minute, but she kept hanging on. One of my sisters kids was there with us when she died, as was one of my mums ex partners, which, although it was good of him to visit, we would rather he was not present at that time.
Strange to see her take her last breath, and be such an empty shell afterwards. Still had her eyes and mouth open, which was freaking out my brother and sister, so l closed her eyes. They didn’t want me to attempt closing her mouth in case l broke her jaw or something.
Although everyone was upset, we all agreed that she should have died earlier, with medical assistance if need be. She was saying she wanted it all to be over the last time she was able to speak. We did ask if extra morphine could be given but they could not do so to the extent we wanted.
Got to sort out her bungalow and possessions now, plus arrange her funeral. Fun Fun Fun as the Beach boys would say.
My brother came up from Leeds a few days ago and now wishes he had stayed there, as he cannot get the image of mum dying like that, he wishes he had just remembered her when she was still alive and at least able to talk a bit. Will probably remember her alive more as time passes, although he will not forget the final day, at the moment it is too fresh in his mind. He went back to Leeds this afternoon, taking our sisters two kids with him to have a break for a few days. He was upset last night and stayed at my house, rat catching and chatting (yes, we still have bastard rats).
I felt sorry for everyone as they were crying and upset, but to tell the truth, l felt nothing but a fascination at witnessing her die. Still not been upset about it, maybe l will later, but l doubt it. Am pissed off l don’t feel anything, as l should do, but that is due to my upbringing, therefore not my fault (l say anyway).
Her last words to me were to ask if l enjoyed the football on Wednesday night. At least she realised how important that was to me ( l know, l am a callous bastard ).
Can soon start to write about other stuff on the blog, let’s face it, this has taken over recently.
Toodle pip

champions of europe

Get in my son!! Champions again and it was a good game - great to see Terry miss the penalty, pity it wasn't Ashley Cole instead. Superb stuff - still out celebrating the next day. Only complaint is Sky recorder never taped it all on ITV or Sky, missed out the last few minutes on both recordings, have to be a strong letter sent off to them. Long wait now till the new season. Toodle pip

more cancer and rats

Here we go with another thrilling update of my mums condition and the rat situation.
First of (l suppose or l will look pretty mean), my mum is (still!!) alive. No change really, we are still expecting her to die every time we visit or leave her, but the old girl is hanging on. Still have trouble understanding her, and she doesn’t always make sense (no change there then), but at least she is awake when we visit.

The rat situation seems to be getting better. Just been outside to check (it is 3.46am) and there were none about, except for one trapped in the rat trap we bought. l have currently caught three of the little gits, one died, one l let go away from our house, and one is in the trap now. There was one on top of the rabbit hutch earlier on, so they are not all dead. Don’t know if the coca cola l have been leaving is killing them or not, there defiantly appears to be fewer, but l am also feeding the rabbits just before dusk, then locking them away so the rats can’t get to the food. What great sport, non stop excitement round our way.

Still not sorted the bastard internet upstairs, l am doing this on the upstairs computer and will then transfer it to the downstairs one (and onto the net) in the morning. Been to busy recently, but will have to do something. My brother is going back to Leeds after visiting our mum in the morning as he has to sign on (he was recently made redundant). He is going to stay down there for a couple of days and then come back up. He is half expecting our mum to die as he is travelling back to Leeds, but can’t just stay up here indefinitely as he has his family in Leeds to see. Hey ho, lets see what this week brings (European cup final on Wednesday – everything stops for that!).

Toodle pip

cancer and the rats

Well, we can't believe it, mum is still alive and hanging on, my brother is still up from Leeds and we are still waiting for a phone call anytime from the hospital. l would have bet anything that she would have been dead by now, but that's probably why l am not a doctor (as l am too thick). She can be understood slightly now and is eating a small amount of food, but is still very hard to make sense of (no change there then).

On a different note, we have had rats going into our rabbits hutch that is kept outside. The little sods have been taking shelter in there during the night and eating some of the rabbit food. Saw at least five rats run out of the hutch yesterday morning. The rabbits do not seem to be affected by this, and have been sitting in their run next to rats, without either of them appearing to be bothered. Bought a humane rat trap and have caught two rats so far, also tried putting some coca cola down for the rats (spoiling them). read on the Internet that if rats drink coca cola, it kills them, let's see if it turns out to be true. Mind you, apart from this blog, l wouldn't trust anything 100% l had read on the Internet. We also have a different front for the rabbit hutch, so we can enclose them at night after feeding them, the last one had a gap so the rabbits could come and go as they pleased. Further updates to come (what an exciting life!).

Still not got our Internet connection sorted out on the upstairs computer, may have to get someone in to look at it (Louise, if you are reading this, that means you!). l am going to have a go at it this weekend, lot of good that will do.

Toodle pip

cancer news nearly finished and fainting

Been in to see my mum twice today, once with my brother and sister, and again later on with my wife and my sisters kids. Mum cannot talk properly now and is pretty weak, also doped up on morphine (lucky bugger). We think that she may well die during the night, or if not, tomorrow. She is not going to make the weekend anyway. The kids wanted to see her for the last time while she was still alive, one of them also wants to come in and see her when she has died. Not bothered about doing that myself, l would rather remember people from when they were alive, but as l will have to drive them in, l will probably have a look myself. We stressed my mum did not want resuscitating (not that they were going to try) as she had been going on about it. Now it's just a case of hanging around anticipating a phone call from the hospital, unless she survives the night, in which case l will go through again in the morning with my brother, sister and wife. Work have spoken to me today and said l could have as long as l want off (they will regret saying that!). Good news, as there will be the funeral to sort out and her house to clear. Nothing that any of us want really, so there won't be any arguments about who inherits what, as it's all mainly junk. Never know though, maybe she has a secret bank account she hadn't told us about.

Also flaked out again yesterday, something that happens to me now and again if l forget to eat as my sugar levels drop - you would never think l forgot at all looking at the state of me, but it's true. Never injured myself as l was sitting down at the time, but it is still embarrassing as l was in the pub. Thankfully it only lasts about 30 seconds and then l am fine again. No warning signs at all and l am never aware l have done it as l am fine afterwards, just what l am told has happened, unless of course if l fall over. Been checked out and everything is OK so l have to have some chocolate or sweet stuff (two crunchies yesterday) straight after or it may happen again. Sods law l don't even like chocolate that much. That's it for now Toodle pip

stalker

While out for an Indian with my family and wife tonight, they reminded me of a stalker l once had. Funny how you forget stuff that is so insane. This girl came up from Eastborne and stayed with my mother on the pretext of looking for a job oop north. l used to sell magazines, and she had met me and written to me, nothing wrong with that, and although l used to have a lot of sex in those days with girls who had met me doing that sort of stuff, l never had sex with her. When she said she wanted to come to Yorkshire and find work, my mother had a spare room and everything appeared to be fine. We met up, l introduced her to my mother, she went out with my friends and my soon to be wife, she wrote to her sister and said she loved me and we were together, she told my soon to be wife that she loved me and would do anything for me, and then denied it the next day (although l heard it) - start sounding a bit weird or what? The crux of it was she also pretended to be a top hair stylist and after a lot (and a lot more) of persuasion, she pretended to cut my brothers hair, in my mums kitchen, with everyone watching. She spent about half an hour snipping away, then stormed out of the kitchen, leaving no hair on the floor. We all fell about and my brother thought it was a crap hair cut. When he looked in the mirror and discovered his hair was exactly the same as before, he was lost for words. We then looked in her bedroom and discovered letters from her sister, ripped up in the bin. Putting them together, we read that her sister was congratulating her for being happy and with me, glad that our (so called) relationship had worked out. l telephoned her sister to say that l was concerned and it was all lies. She said she would try to speak to her, same as l said l would. Anyway, next thing we all know, she had buggered off. Bastard. l could have done anything with that woman. Also, l can say say stuff like that because l work with people with mental problems, so there. l may have had other stalkers, l may have them now, perhaps they are just too clever to be spotted. Maybe my wife is a stalker claiming her ultimate prize (the poor sod). Who knows, l have certainly had girls telling my wife they used to go out with me, when they never. Must be the aftershave. People are mad, which is great for me, as it keeps me in a job. Toodle pip

fantastic new cancer update

So, mother is still alive and my brother is now staying till God knows when. He went to the office in Richmond to sign on as he is currently unemployed, and after exchanging phone calls with the Leeds office he was deemed OK to stay oop north and comfort his (and my) mum. Been to see her this morning, when we got kicked out as her catheter bag was full or it had come loose. Either way, there was leakage and we had to leave the room while she was cleaned up. Came back after lunch, to find her lying on her side after a suppository. What a fun day she was having. My sister withdrew the rest of our mums money from the bank before she dies (my mum, not my sister) and l managed to nick it off her without my sister noticing, while we were all in the wine bar. Forget to tell her before l left, so she should be panicking about it just about now. Next time she has money on her, she will keep a closer eye on it, hard lesson but fair. mum seemed miles better today, despite all the waterworks shenanigans going on, hope it's not her perking up just before she dies, although, as l have stated before, that would probably be the best for her. The remaining close family went for an Indian at White shops about 6pm, then went to our mums bungalow to divide up her DVDs and Cd's between us. What a load of crap though. After a few choices each, we really were not that bothered what we got, so just chose anything. Left a load of Cd's for our sister as my brother didn't want them, and l would rather watch Liverpool win than take a lot of the crap home. watched some new family guy when l got home with the missus, forgot how great it can be. It's sometimes a bit hit and miss and l don't always get the American jokes regarding their TV shows, but it is one of the funniest things on TV when they get it right.
Did l mention Manchester United won the league yesterday, beating Wigan 2-0 away? Once again, l hope we stuff Chelsea in the European cup final (as l still prefer to call it - keep it old school). Anywhoos, l am a bit pissed as l have been out since 10.30am and is hard work spending all day with my family and wife, l would rather relax and do bugger all, as l am a lazy sod (although l am also off work at the moment - superb!!). Told my wife this morning l reckon my mum will die tonight or tomorrow. let's see how right l am by the next time l post. Till the Toodle pip

cancer and the bastard computer

Well, the fucking computer upstairs is playing up and l can’t get an internet connection on the bastard thing, hence a lack of posts recently.
As l write this, it is Friday night, just after watching Peep show, which was great, better series so far than the last one. Going to put this on the blog on Saturday, using one of the laptops. Anyhows….
Mum is now on her last legs (so to speak, as she can no longer walk). Deteriorated a lot in the last day and l would be surprised if she lasts till next weekend. Wouldn’t be surprised if she died this weekend.
She has seen a few people this week and my brother is still up here from Leeds, was going to go back Saturday but may stay longer now, haven’t spoken to him about it since we visited this morning.
My sisters kid also came today, taking the day off school to do so, before going to Newcastle for the weekend. I reckon it may be the last time they see each other, but who knows, find out more tomorrow.
Have to buy my mum some more bottles of coke before visiting, better not stock up as it may all go to waste. Another jolly day awaiting, especially for my mum. Let’s hope she doesn’t keep throwing up black stuff (she also has blood in her urine). The sooner it is over the better, although she will miss Manchester United doing the double this year. Mind you, she supports Liverpool so it is probably best if she went now. Toodle pip

cancer time again

So, time for the latest thrilling installment. Mum is now at the Friary in Richmond, pretty good room with a nice view. The sister told me it was the best room in the place, which may well be true. Obviously it is a short term stay and they probably want to make the last couple of weeks as nice as possible. Her brother Ray (plus wife and in laws), came up from Liverpool on Monday, arriving just as l turned up with my sister and brother (who came up from Leeds the same day). Couldn't have had better timing if we planned it.
Great to see them all and my mum was a bit shocked to see everyone walking in at the same time. Ray said he was going to come again in a couple of weeks (if mum lasts that long), otherwise it will be for the funeral.
Also had my mate Robbo and his wife Kerry calling round, as it was a year to the day since his mum died, and he wanted to put flowers on her grave (he stayed in the car, his wife did the flower bit). We all went to Wetherspoons for lunch before they went back to the Boro and we went to my mums (over the road).
Trying to sort out stuff at the moment like cancelling Sky and seeing what my mum wants for the funeral. We are maybe going for a coffin that has been painted by my sisters kids, but we haven't asked the kids yet, they may feel freaked out by it. Mother isn't bothered, as she said, she won't see it anyway.
Got £100 of her yesterday (way hay!!) which l spent on an external memory thingie for the computer, the rest (£20) l put on a horse which won (another way Hay!!). Spent the winnings in the Wine bar with my brother and sister. My brother is here till Friday so there's a lot of entertaining to do till then. More fabulous updates soon!
Toodle pip.

yes! - it's another cancer update!

The news today is that my mum is to be moved into a nursing home/hospital called The Friary, in Richmond, North Yorkshire. This is because her treatment is still not working and they think a course of Radiotherapy would do no good. She is basically going there to die in more comfortable surroundings. Estimates are she would be doing well if she makes it to June, but that is unlikely. Still throwing up every day and Steroids not helping. What a way to end your life, sick every day for nearly two months (maybe three by the time she dies) and being unable to get out of bed or talk properly. Her brother is coming from Liverpool next week to visit, it will be the last time they ever see each other, what crappy circumstances. It will be great to see him but I doubt the chat will be cheerful. At least there is no hell or afterlife to fear - enjoy yourself now and hang the consequences! Toodle pip

john cooper clarke - twat

this man is a genius

Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias - Snuff Rock / Gobbing on Life

fucking love this

chelsea through to the final

So Chelsea got through to the final, fat Lamps blubbing, Shevshenko miss firing, Drogba diving, Ashley Cole cheating and whining, Terry pissing everywhere and Joe Cole wasted with them johnny come lately, bigging it up, celebrity west London wankers. We had better stuff them and win the league as well. Toodle pip

Cristiano Ronaldo vs Lionel Messi

Paul Scholes Barcelona Manchester U. 1-0 Champions League

Get in my son!!!

cocks of the north

We are United, the cocks of the north! What a goal by Scholes! What a great game by Tevez, Evra and Brown! What a player Messi is! What a tense finish! Let's hope l win the competition for tickets to the final in Moscow! Don't care who wins between Liverpool or Chelsea now, although if United were certainties to stuff Liverpool in the final l would want to play them. Couldn't stand it if Liverpool beat United though. Bring on West Ham and Wigan now. Squeaky bum time again, although l am hoping Newcastle get a result against Chelsea. In the meantime, it's celebration time!! Toodle pip

indian meal and chelsea

Out with the relatives at the weekend for an Indian meal at White shops, new place just opened. Went there on the opening night but didn't remember what the food tasted like as l was pretty pissed (had been with my brother all day). This time was better but l foolishly forgot to say no coriander on my food as l can't stand the bloody stuff - tastes like washing up liquid. Anyhows, everyone had a good time (there were eight of us), and we then retired to the Wine bar a few doors down, where we stayed till 2/3am. Walked home and the wife's sister lost her handbag, but was still in a good mood. God knows when everyone left our house, but Dazzer (brother in law) slept on the settee as no-one could wake him.



Up at lunchtime the next day for the Chelsea against Manchester United game. Another poor performance from United and it is certainly squeaky bum time now. Hope they go out and attack attack attack on Tuesday against Barcelona, could do with a good game at the moment. Rooney didn't look too good when he came off, hope he's fit in time. l predict 3-1 to United (if they go for it).



No change with mother. Still being sick, drugs and steroids not working at the moment (if they ever will). Just got back from the hospital, running out of things to talk about. Eating plenty of her fruit pastels though. Toodle pip

barcelona

Why o why did United not go for them? Barcelona have been crap this season and were there for the taking. A score draw would have been a decent result, but 0-0 leaves Barcelona a chance to score at Old Trafford and nick a draw, therefore going through on away goals. Fergie admitted afterwards that he was too defensive with the tactics he wanted Park and Rooney to play, and he has achieved so much with the club that l hate to question or criticize, but it is not all over by a long way. Of course if Ronaldo had put the penalty away United might have strolled it, with the home crowd getting on Barcelona's case, as they have done recently. l think however, United would still have played defensively and been happy with the 1-0. l don't want to win games 1-0 with a great defensive performance. lt's not the United way. l would rather they tried their best, attacked and went for it, see how it ends. Other teams should be scared of United and have to adapt their game to try and deal with it. Not the other way around. Anyway, lets hope United stuff them at Old Trafford. Toodle pip

lucky turtle

lucky little (or not so little ) turtle

more cancer updates and liverpool last minute goal

More highlights in the fight against cancer my mother is currently undertaking. She has a definite blood clot on her lungs, which is currently being treated. She was sick today when me and my sister visited and looks bloody awful, gone downhill a lot in the last few days. The hospital is hoping to send her to James Cook hospital for a MRI scan, but it depends on how well she is feeling. Still don’t know if she will have to travel to James Cook for her Radiotherapy, or if she will stay there for it. At the moment, l don’t think she will last another week, but who knows.
Had to phone my mums brother in Liverpool and tell him the news. What a pisser. Obviously he is also upset and wants to be kept informed. Unfortunately, he does not have loads of money and cannot afford to travel up all the time, so will try to get through near the end. Not sure how close my mum and him were, after all, they are brother and sister, but there is a ten year age gap between them.
Loved my uncle when l was young. He was the man who took me to Manchester United games and got me supporting them, even though we are both from Liverpool (he used to go to games in the early 60’s). Although l became mad about football, my father had no interest in taking me, but my uncle did. I will always be thankful to him for that.
Anyway, lets see what the morrow brings. Till then … Toodle pip

PS Own goal for Liverpool at the kop end tonight, four minutes into injury time – brilliant!! (Although l don’t like Chelsea, l can’t stand Liverpool football club - way too successful over the years).

amazing spider-man comics

l collect old comics, Amazing spider-man, Silver Surfer etc (l know it's sad, but what the hell). This guy has an amazing collection (see what l did there) but the idiot has clipped them all, therefore no marvel chipping. Would have been superb otherwise as they look to be in great nick. Still wouldn't mind them though. Toodle pip

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/AMAZING-SPIDER-MAN-1-40-AM-FANTASY-15-BOUND-VOLS_W0QQitemZ310025599469QQihZ021QQcategoryZ32739QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1638Q2em118Q2el1247

more cancer updates and ipod news

What a fun time everyone is having. My mother has now got a suspected blood clot on her lungs and is being treated for that before any treatment can be undertaken for the brain tumor. She has had to have another scan and her oxygen adjusted, as she was having trouble breathing. No trips out to James Cook hospital at the moment. She is still unable to walk and still feels dizzy (although she has always been a bit dizzy, so no great change there). Visiting again in the morning with my sister, lets hope she has improved, or rapidly goes downhill to put her out of her misery. I have got two months on the sweepstake, so here's hoping! (that's a joke).
On a lighter note, my brother has just been on the phone from Leeds for an hour, as he has just purchased his first ipod, and needed instructions to get his ipod and itunes up and running. He said he had been pratting about with it since lunchtime today and felt like throwing it out of the window. All sorted now though. Wait till he receives my bill for the expert advice. he won't be so happy then. Toodle pip

The Last Shadow Puppets - The Age Of The Understatement

jacques brel - mathilde

Here's Jacques, influenced Scott Walker, who influenced the Last Shadow puppets sound. Check them all out.

Scott Walker - Mathilda

Here's the Scott Walker version

The Last Shadow Puppets - My Mistakes Were Made For You

Another top song and the album is great as well - go buy or download it now!

dickie best

The father of George Best passed away aged 88 years old a couple of days ago ( l have just found out). Dickie Best had been in hospital for the past four weeks.
His family, who were with him when he passed away at a Hospital in Dundonald, have described him as "irreplaceable".
"Over the years, as everyone knows, Dad had his sorrows to bear but he faced them always with courage and dignity," a family statement said.
Brings back memories of George and his funeral, plus of course the innumerable magical football moments he provided over the years. Ronaldo is doing the business this year (and last year), but to me, Georgie was the man. Until the later years, he never went down easy, and hardly moaned about some of the outrageous tackles that went flying in against him. Just picked himself up and got on with it. What a player.
I know George had his demons to fight and was not always a nice man, especially to his wives, but the way he played football made me want to play and made me fall in love with the game. He is one of the men that made football beautiful.
Praise the lord for Dickie then, for without him, there would have been a huge void in the great scheme of things (whatever that means). Toodle pip

trevor eve as hughie green

Trevor Eve was fantastic in the Hughie Green biographical film on BBC4, which l have just watched on sky+.

Eve looked uncannily like the Opportunity Knocks presenter even though he just used facial mannerisms and a little make up. I never really considered him as a good actor before, having only seen old Shoestring episodes and never having watched Waking the Dead. Credit where it's due though, it was definitely the best performance so far in the curse of comedy plays (even Ken Stott couldn't match it playing Hancock).

Mark Benton (the fat one from the bank ads) plays Green's arch rival, Stars On Sunday host Jess Yates, who Paula Yates thought was her father, until the News of the World reported Hughie Green was, a couple of days after Hughie's funeral. Paula appears on television in the background.

Didn't enjoy Mark Benton's performance, as l couldn't forget the bank ads. Trevor eve more than made up for it though. Buy the man a drink! Toodle pip

another bleeding cancer update

More news on the cancer front. There is a golf ball sized tumor in the back of the brain that is too large to operate on (they think). Going to try radiotherapy and chemotherapy to try and shrink it so they can operate. This involves travelling to James Cook hospital in the Boro. More details from the hospital in a day or so. This makes it sound like my mum might live for a while longer yet but l still don't hold up much hope. They were a bit keen to take details today for contacting the next of kin etc. Mum still feeling dizzy and sick - no way she can come home and look after herself (no, me or my sister/brother are not going to do it). Still loads more hospital visits to go yet.We are thinking the worst (or maybe the best) and seeing how it all progresses. Don't want to end up like that, l would rather kill myself if life got too shit. Luckily United are still winning so it's still hunky dory on the football front! Toodle pip

Floyd Mayweather vs Big Show

No wonder the English take the piss out of American sports. What a load of crap this is. How Mayweather can lower himself to take part in this is unbelievable.

brother visiting

Been a busy old week. My brother came up from Leeds to stay with me for a couple of days, so he could visit our mum with our sister. Good to see him and our mum was also pleased to see him, although he was a bit shocked at how bad she is. With visiting our mum, going to work, and going out with my brother and sister, I don't feel like l have had a moment to myself. Dropped him off at the train station yesterday so it is now all quiet in our house. Still cds everywhere as he has also been copying a load of my cds while he was here (for backup only of course). Can now get to the computer again and move around in the spare bedroom. News of my mum does still not look too good. Find out more info later on today. That's it - off to work again! Toodle pip

view from my room

Here's the view from my bedroom window today - impressive eh!

good night out

Looks like everyone in the club when its a really good night - if you know what l mean

cancer update

Still no further news - more scans to be done etc before the specialist will confirm anything. Went to visit yesterday with my wife, sister and kids. Mother upset about it but probably happy that she can prove now there is something wrong with her. On steroids (my mum, not me), so depending on how long she has left to live, she may be able to kick me in soon. She has said that she does not want any more chemotherapy as she hated it last time. She is upset that she may not have much longer to live, but does not want to suffer the chemo again if it only adds a short amount of time to her life. Can't say l blame her - l wouldn't have it myself in her position.
Working this weekend, so l am not visiting till Monday. l am however, looking foreward to United against Arsenal on Sunday. You may think l am in denial going on about football at this time, but it is just the way l feel. The illness still has not affected me, apart from making time for visits and phone calls. More news as it comes - God, this blog is starting to get depressing. l will have to put some links to comedy or porn to liven it up. Or comedy porn - sounds like my sex life.The wife does always laugh when l get naked (only time l do make her laugh). Till next time toodle pip

cancer

So, what can l say? Turns out my mum is pretty bad after all and has cancer in her brain (l assume secondary mets cancer as she has already had lung cancer). My wife phoned the hospital and spoke to her earlier on in the evening, as l was out and she couldn’t get hold of me. News that was not expected. My sister is pretty upset about it and has been crying half the night. We are all off to the hospital tomorrow to see her and find out how bad it is. Steroids have already been given but we are all unsure what other treatment may be available, as we do not know how advanced the cancer is. My own guess would be a couple of months, seeing how bad she has been recently. Then again, she may not be too advanced and last a year – certainly don’t think that will be the case though.

Not sure how l feel about all this. Other people are all a lot more upset than me, even my wife. Obviously l feel sorry for the condition my mum is in and how scared she must be, but l am defiantly lacking something. l know people may say l am in shock and maybe l will be a lot more upset later on, or even tomorrow, but l doubt it. It upsets me more seeing people close to me upset. Hell, l even cry if l see strangers crying or upset on the TV. Think l have too much bottled up inside (serial killer alert!!).

l remember when my dad died. My immediate family and my step family were all crying and hugging, but l felt nothing like that. l was pissed off that they had those feelings and l didn’t. l even turned up late for the funeral and did not put a flower on his coffin. Don’t misunderstand me, before he died, l used to go and see him in the pub, but he was just like some fellow l knew in there. Not a father figure. l have a horrible feeling that history is going to repeat itself.

Anyway – find out more tomorrow

Toodle pip

PS Still pleased United beat Roma – football has always been there for me

ambulance blues

My mother has been ill for a couple of weeks, has had various visits from Doctors, and last night they decided to admit her to hospital. The decision was made at 6.05pm and an ambulance was called, coming from Northallerton Friary hospital to Catterick. Which is about 14 miles. Guess how long they took? Four hours. Unbelievable. They also got lost and went to a completely different address using their sat nav. Had to phone a couple of times and were told different answers on both occasions. Good job she was not at deaths door.

At least Manchester United beat Roma at the same time all this was going on. Barcelona in the semi finals should be good. Squeaky bum time again ( yes my mum had that as well ). Toodle pip

uncyclopedia

Check out this site -

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

Who needs wikipedia?

fun at the weekend

Another messy time at the weekend. Went out about 1pm on Saturday for a drink at our local pubs, The Wine Bar and The Colburn Lodge, and to put a bet on the Grand National. Ended up staying out and going to J.T's bar, where some mates of ours were playing that night ( in a band called Jismn ). Had just about had enough and were ready to go when other mates turned up, so of course we ended up getting very drunk and staying out till midnight. Pizza takeaway then home. One of those nights were people turn up that you haven't seen for a while, so it's good to have a crack on with them. Therefore, hats off to Powlie and Deb, Chorley girl and Ann, Jim and his wife, Whit, Lonnie, Steve, Jacket and Mrs Jacket, Bazzer, Dazzer, Mazzer etc who all made it in the line of duty.

Up early the next day to go to Boro to watch the Manchester United vs Boro game with Robbo. Chucked it down with thick snow and the 2-2 draw was not so good but we had a laugh. Had some food with Robbo and Kerry then back to Catterick ( via dropping off a present for Dazzer in Stockton ). Last night of the owners of the Colburn Lodge, Sue and Martin, so stopped off there and continued with the merriment. Nicked myself a framed picture of George Best from the pub that l had my eye on for a while. Took it up to White Shops to show it off and continue drinking, then walked back home for midnight. lt's a hard life. Toodle pip

Johann Pachelbel - Canon in D

so many bands have nicked this

Impossible guitar

this guy is slightly better than me

Pachelbel's Canon goes rock

nearly as good as me

the english language

Ever think about the word "malodorous"? Words beginning with the Latin prefix mal- usually imply opposites, like "malpractice" and "malfunction" and "malnourished", but both "odorous" and "malodorous" mean the same thing. Pathetic (yes l know they do not mean pathetic). English can be so complicated. Toodle pip

who needs water ?

Dr Stanley Goldfarb, a kidney specialist at the University of Pennsylvania, has just written a review in the Journal of the American Society of Nephrology, stating that drinking lots of water does you no good. He states that their research has shown drinking excess water does not improve skin tone, nor "flush out" toxins in the system. Drinking too much water can hinder kidney function. He does not think that drinking a small amount of extra water helps headaches or obesity. Either research proved there was no benefit, or no good research had been done on certain topics, it was a topic that had been passed on as safe, but there was no real data to support the argument.

l say drink more lager and wine, avoid salad if possible ( especially celery ), put mayonnaise on nearly everything and do illegal drugs ( in moderation ). Water and salad is bad for you. Then again, you should see the state of me. Toodle pip