wildlife photographer of the year 2017

I've had these photographs for quite a while now. They are my favourite ones from The Natural History Museum's 2017 Wildlife Photographer Of The Year, but I never got around to posting them.
Until now!

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charity shops heaven

Oh boy Oh boy - l struck lucky last week with my charity shops visit. Some of these books l have already read or have in different translations, and a lot of the cds l have copies of, but l nearly wet myself with excitement at finding this load of goodies.

As usual, all l need now is more time off work, and a bigger house to store all of my crap.

If only l could find this kind of stuff every time l went a searchin'.

                                             

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the kiddie alarm clock

The Boro kids love me, but it's not so good first thing in the morning when you wake to this sight at an ungodly hour, followed by non stop attention from them.

Sometimes it's a curse being funny.

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mr parrot's new stand

Hmm...Mr Parrot's new stand is a bit bigger than l thought it would be.

Still, he loves it now, so it will be staying

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the broken washer drier

Damn!!

My old washing machine finally packed in  a couple of weeks ago. This, despite the fact that when l noticed the drum wasn't spinning, it received a kick from me to make it work. This method was fine for a while, but it then started tripping the electrics, which even l thought may not be a good thing.

So, it was left outside, taken the next morning at 8am by the scrap men, and a new washer drier purchased.

All well and good, but l thought l'd switch the new machine on for a quick first wash with no clothes in it, and then noticed there were pipes left inside the drum. I stopped the machine, tried to open the door too fast, and promptly broke the door handle off. All before it had even washed any of my clothes.

Luckily l can still open the door using a broken chopstick (don't ask), and the machine is working fine.

Now l've got to decide whether to fix it or continue as l am.

Let's face it - the door will be like this for some time.

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iphone x advert

The recent advert for the iphone x is doing my head in.

Sure, the woman in the advert is very attractive, the song is very catchy (All Night by Big Boi), and the singing animojis are cute, but there's something that's been really bugging me.

What the hell is the animoji on the right?

It just looks like a lump of poo - and don't try to convince me it's meant to be chocolate ice cream.

Bloody youth of today / what's the world coming to / wouldn't have got away with this when l was a lad ... blah blah blah blah etc

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ladies who lunch

One of the downsides of working with a load of women - getting dragged out for lunch!

Ah well, at least it's an addition to my ongoing collection of pilfered menus

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teeside training instructions

I had to go to Stockton a week or so ago for some training, to a place l hadn't been before.

These are my rather untidy instructions that l put together the night before (at about 2am!).

It may look like gibberish to the ordinary layman, but they make perfect sense to me.

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new years fitness regime with ozzy osbourne

I went to read a second hand copy of Ozzy Osbourne's 'I am Ozzy' a couple of weeks ago, and this fell out of it. Somebody's fitness regime for the New Year in 2012. The places they describe are very close to where l live, so l might even know the person who wrote it, and I'm curious to know whether they stuck to it.

I think l left my fitness regime in the pub

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unsuspected filming

Looks like someone's filmed me when l wasn't expecting it!
A hilarious clip from the Shaun the Sheep movie



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haircut time again

This may not look like a lot of hair, but trust me, it is. Just the thing to do as the weather gets colder!

 l am now training my remaining hair to adapt to a new style.

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shaun ryder on ecstasy and god's copper

Amongst the many books l've read recently, one was Shaun Ryder's autobiography, 'Twisting my Melon'. In it, he repeats what l (and many others) have been saying for years about ecstasy making people friendlier and it doing away with most of the football violence and general fighting on a night out. As he states, it's now a cliche as it's so well accepted amongst any right thinking folk.

Sadly, as the big clubs and raves are dying out, ecstasy use is being replaced by other drugs such as cocaine, and the football violence is coming back. Time for a revival methinks.

Also, the Anderton he refers to was James Anderton, the chief constable of police for Manchester, who was known as 'God's Copper', due to him stating that he had a direct line to God, which affected his views on morality.

Tosser.

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the chuckle brothers in funny incident shock

While l don't find The Chuckle Brothers funny in any way, shape, or form, this photograph of them meeting a fan always makes me laugh.

An outstanding optical illusion - look closely!

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the guardian christmas party

An excellent tweet from Steve Stewart-Williams

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bbc head of crm post available

Thinking of working at the BBC?
There's a job going as head of CRM, l assume to any management geek that can even understand what the job entails.
I'm sad to report that my licence fee pays for this kind of management gobbledygook.
More information here.

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david brent's sausage party

These pictures are probably old news now, but l never got around to posting them when l first got them. Ricky Gervais as David Brent, for sale in the shops, but looking suggestive next to Sausage Party, followed by a tweet from Ricky himself.

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two poems - drunk and dusting

Two poems l can relate to, although l can't remember where l got the top one from.

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evil cat - hugleikur dagsson

Nothing to say about this really, apart from it made me laugh, and obviously appealed to my sense of humour!

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mr udine's one wheeled motorcycle

You've got to love a maverick, especially a maverick inventor. Here's M'G de Udine, with his one wheeled motorcycle in 1931.
You may think that Mr Udine and his bike look ridiculous, but it could reach speeds of 90 miles per hour.
No wonder he looks pleased with himself, although l bet his trousers are brown.

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the end of the world - donald trump style

As the good old United States of America seems to be heading slowly towards a war in Korea (again), while trying to tell the Chinese what to do, it highlights how prescient this front cover of Donald Trump was by Der Speigel. If you can't guess what it says, despite the self explanatory cover, it's forecasting the end of the world.

Maybe l should start digging one of these in the back garden - an ideal First World War trench. Then again - sod it - too many spiders for my liking.
I'll be in the pub when the big bomb goes off.

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sinkholes - sucked to death

Once again, it may be my dirty mind, but l reckon the TV producers of this series are having a laugh with the title.

Either that or they overheard us guys joking about being sucked to death in Amsterdam a few years ago, when we saw a dazed and confused guy being assisted to his feet by the police, looking very skinny and on his last legs.

But happy.

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the living room has got bigger

Messing around with the new phone.

My living room appears to have increased in size.

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the sex robots are coming

A documentary about how the sex robots are on their way.

About bleeding time, even if it did feature some very sad individuals!

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out and about - the beatles and the stones in stockton

Once more, out and about, this time to see The Stones, as you may well have guessed, a Rolling Stones tribute band, at Ku in Stockton. The singer didn't sound a lot like Mick Jagger, but we still had a great night, and we were also treated beforehand to a stripped down version of Beatles songs done acoustically. The Beatles part of the show sounded more like them, but we prefered the Stones, as the songs are better.
This was also after watching Manchester United beat Arsenal, and myself and Robbo beating lads at pool in dodgy bars before the gig.
Marvellous!
Here's a video l made at the show.

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working through problems

I didn't make this, but it sums up my attitude to problems perfectly.

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savings at tesco

After calling in at the local Tesco's for some shopping, l got home to discover that on my spend of nearly £65, l had saved 29 pence on branded items.

Hurrah!!

I'm in the money, and off out to celebrate tonight!

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count the bananas

Come on kids - it's easy!

How many bananas?

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who the **** is george waldo?

I've just rediscovered this amongst some old crap.
Many years ago when l was out and about in that there London, l met and had a few drinks with a guy (George Waldo) who later gave me his card so we could meet up again another time. Nothing dodgy went on - we just had a drink and a laugh, and being the kind of guy l am, l never got round to getting back in touch, but now, looking at the card, l am puzzled as to who the Hell he was / is.
I have absolutely no idea, and can't even remember what he looked like.
Looks important though.

                      

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out and about - the strypes

More out and about that l'd forgotten about from last month - The Strypes at Newcastle University. A lads night out and a lot of fun it was. I drove there and a mate drove back, so it saved on a taxi or hotel this time.

The Strypes have really improved and matured as a band, and their stage show is entertaining and varied, but the sad thing is, how much bigger can they expect to get, unless they hit lucky with a song on a commercial or film / TV series to help promote them?

It's a shame, and they deserve to gain a wider audience. 

However, some might say they already have with us old farts going to see them

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