how to use the internet

I've forgotten where l downloaded this from, but it's pretty much on the ball.  I guess my internet actions, like everyone else's, depends on how l am feeling, although l certainly didn't start a blog because l was angry.
Mad maybe, and certainly 'a bit' crazy, but not angry.

toodle pip

the oscar pistorius trial

The Oscar Pistorius trial is still ongoing, with the evidence being challenged by both sides, but l've got a sneaky feeling that if it had been me killing my girlfriend by shooting through the bathroom door (when she was meant to be in bed with me), l would have been banged up by now, whereas Oscar might just get away with it because of his fame, relentless sobbing, and the no doubt bucketfuls of cash used for lawyers to plead in his defence.
If only he had invested in a sign like this on his bathroom door, then everything would (probably) still be hunky dory.

toodle pip

true detective - cartoon style

I loved True Detective so much that l stayed up all night and watched the series on the internet, one episode after another (because that's the kind of crazy guy l am!).
Now somebody's only gone and matched some of the dialogue with cartoons.
Genius!  Rather like the old Charlie Brown and Peanuts / The Smiths mix from a while ago.
More here.

toodle pip

extreme bike riding

This is just insane.

toodle pip

poverty wage isn't working

Steve Bell - on the ball again.

toodle pip

a famous artwork

Any ideas what this artwork is?  It's inspired a famous song, and it is now owned by David Gilmour of Pink Floyd fame.
Given up?
In that case, l shall enlighten you.
It's non other than Julian Lennon's childhood work, 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds'.  He told John Lennon that it was the name of the artwork, and John duly nicked the title for the song of the same name.
The Lucy who is in the sky, was Lucy O'Donnell, a class mate of Julian's who later became Lucy Vodden, and who died in 2009, but as to how David Gilmour came to own it, l have no idea (and can't be bothered trying to look it up).

toodle pip

out in the boro

Out with Mr Robinson yesterday in the Boro, just chilling out a bit and chatting about life in general, although we also had bets on The Grand National and got food on the way home.  If l hadn't been so confident with my bet, and stuck it on each way instead of on the nose, l would have at least won a bit (as the horse finished third), but it was a case of all or nothing as far as l was concerned (and no - l won't learn any lessons from my stupidity).
I went through early, as Robbo asked me to drop some money off at his brothers, so l decided to head straight through after the drop, as it was a bit pointless returning home again and just hanging about.
After a chat with Kerry, a taxi was ordered, various pubs around town were visited, we had dealings with dodgy blokes on bikes, and at the end of the evening, the selection of food from Hot Wok was better than expected, with the manageress coming over and chatting to us for quite a bit, so we may well frequent that particular establishment again in the future.
That's about it - nothing too exciting, although Robbo's ulcer didn't explode (always a bonus), and we didn't return wrecked, even if he still managed to fall asleep for Match of the Day, and l agreed to babysit at the end of the month, so maybe we were more tiddly than we thought.  I'll have to slip something into Mr C's night time drink to make sure he sleeps until the following morning.

toodle pip

the biased news

Channel 4 had to apologise for running a news item a few weeks back when it was revealed that three of the four 'members of the public' they interviewed for some on-the-street voxpops were actually all employees of the same PR agency, Livity. Which, coincidentally is where the interviewer himself had previously worked.

 Bad practice, sure, but it's not a patch on ITV. During the teachers' strike last week, ITV interviewed a 'random' working mum, Fiona Jull, and poor Fiona told them all about how she had had to arrange emergency child care. That wouldn't be the same Fiona Jull whose PR company represents Emergency Childcare, would it? Why, yes it would! Not that ITV bothered to tell viewers.

No wonder l'm cynical
News reporting from here

toodle pip

another funeral - hazel foster

Unfortunately, l had to attend another funeral yesterday, that of Hazel Foster, a woman l had known on and off for years, but got to know well over the last year. She will be missed by a lot of people.

toodle pip

sucking off dogs for quavers

Now this is a headline you don't see every day, but how the dog manages to equip himself with Quavers in the first place is anyone's guess.

toodle pip

the sex pistols and ce ce peniston, plus deee lite and enya

l've been loving this mash up over the weekend, and playing it pretty damn loud.  It's a Go Home Productions mix of The Sex Pistols 'Did You No Harm' and Ce Ce Peniston's 'Finally'.

Saying that - this has also been on heavy rotation.  Enya and Deee Lite.



Both are pure class.

toodle pip

the hancock museum in newcastle

I'm back in Newcastle for training tomorrow, and while there, l've had to find things to do with my spare time apart from hitting the pub, as can't drink during the day, and in the evening l've got to drive back from Darlington.  Therefore, l have been checking out the nearby museums, and the above photographs are all from The Hancock Gallery's natural history section.
It's an interesting enough way of killing time, but they might find that the T.Rex is slowly getting smaller. That's because l'm stealing it, bone by bone, as l intend rebuilding it in the back garden to scare away the neighbours cats.  As long as those pesky kids don't catch me in the act.
Wish me luck.

toodle pip

car boot sale heaven

I was on sleepover at work last night and finished at 8am this morning, (after staying up till 2.30am and getting up at 6.10am).  On a whim, while driving home, l decided to take a detour and have a look at a local car boot sale, a place l have only ever been to once before, but keep meaning to visit.  I was mighty pleased that l decided to do so, as l ended up buying a total of  23 albums (large CD's that scratch to you kids out there), for a total of  £35, and that was with a load of Beatles singles thrown in for good measure.  I was especially pleased with The Rolling Stones ones, as they are the original unboxed red Decca versions, all in great nick, but some of the LP's l bought are just to replace stuff l already have because they are miles better copies (yeeeeessssss...l know l am a sad bastard, and certainly don't need telling).
Originally, there was a slim chance l was going to do some painting today (as if!), but that went out of the window, and all l've been doing is reading and listening to records (and annoying Mr Parrot).  What bliss.
I've said it before and l'll say it again, l could easily fill a house with records, comics, DVD's etc, but at least l've sorted out some old LP's to give to my sister, so the actual amount of records in the house stays roughly the same.
Then there's the not so small problem of finding loads of spare time to read and listen to everything.  The books in the photograph are recent purchases l have yet to get through, l have another pile of unread ones that remain untouched, as well as the two books l have on the go at the moment (as well as TV shows and football to watch, and going out annoying people to fit in).
Multi tasking is the answer.  I'm currently listening to The Who's 'Quadrophenia' film soundtrack while updating this blog and drinking chilled white wine at the same time, with Mr Parrot sitting on my leg, getting the occasional stroke (me stroking him, not the other way round).
No wonder l fall asleep on trains.

toodle pip

mishap on the train

Damn!  This is what happens when you fall asleep on the train back from Newcastle - you end up at desolate Northallerton railway station and have to change trains and head back up to Darlington so you can drive home.
I was fast asleep when someone sat next to me, which woke me up.  It's a good job they did, as l would have ended up in that there London.  The train was actually in Darlingon station when l woke up, but by the time l'd grabbed my bag and ipod, the train had set off again, with me muttering curses and profanities under my breath at the firmly closed door.
I knew l was tired, but not that much. They're working me into the ground, but I suppose l should be grateful l wasn't covered in drool, and l hadn't wet myself while l was sleeping.  That would have been just a teesie bit more embarrassing, but l'm sure l will eventually end up doing that as well, it's only a matter of time, as my senility takes over and l finally lose what is left of my marbles.

toodle pip

michael smiths small town america

 

These shots of small time America from back in the day look really realistic, but they are from a project called 'Elgin Park' by Michael Paul Smith, who has been photographing small models and scenery that he has built, using real landscapes as backgrounds, with splendid results.
The photographs are available to buy, and there are more photographs, plus more about the project (and shots of the photographs being set up), at his site, which can be found here.
I always have a grudging respect for anyone who is devoted enough to follow their artistic bent to such a degree, but this must take up a hell of a lot of his time.
I wonder if he is married?

toodle pip

the budget

I thought the top poster was a spoof at first, but no, of course not, nothing is too patronising for the piss taking bastards, and it's just a shame that so many of the poor and uneducated will fall for it.
The bottom one is a spoof, but is a lot more honest.
Sadly, l can't envisage Ed Miliband winning a general election in the near (or distant) future, so it looks like we are stuck with Gideon (the 'destroyer') and his toffs.
Eat the rich brothers and sisters - time for a revolution!!

toodle pip

lucky (or unlucky) cyclist

I can't decide if this is really lucky or unlucky.
A cyclist is hit by a pickup truck, and as it hits him, a mattress falls off the back of the truck, which the cyclist then lands on, cushioning his fall.
Now what are the chances of that happening??
If l was him, l'd go and buy a lottery ticket, but then again, he may get run over on the way to the shop.
He's living life on a knifes edge.

toodle pip

training at newcastle

Damn!!!  I'm certainly not used to this.
Having to drag myself out of bed at silly o'clock so l can drive to Darlington and catch an early train to Newcastle each day, because l have got six days of training at the University, and have to be there for just after 9am.
I'm used to lying around in bed in the mornings, not this kind of nonsense!
I know most people live in the real world and have to get up early five days a week, but that is exactly what l have been trying to avoid for god knows how many years.  Luckily for me, the training is spread out over a couple of weeks, so l've got three earlies this week, two next week, and then a final day on the following Monday.
It also involves looking at computer screens most of the day, and much as l love computers, it's too much for my tired eyes when l am meant to still be in bed.
Still........Two days just completed, not back there till Friday, so it's back to late nights and lie ins till then (and l'll be watching the 'glorious' Manchester United tomorrow night).
Hurrah!!!!

toodle pip