chris' stag do

End of the road for Johnny

End of the road for Robbo

The Durham pub we were in (The Boatman's?)

Newcastle train station

In Durham

My bedtime (last man standing)

Another Durham pub

In Newcastle

At The Boatman's in Durham

Went through to Newcastle, and Durham for Chris' stag do on Saturday, once myself and Robbo managed to get through the Tyne Tunnel, as we were following the sat nav we were instructed (ordered) to use, and there was roadworks at the tunnel, which threw it off the trail somewhat. Anywhoos, we got there in the end, then it was straight into a taxi and down into town for some ales with the boys. We then got the train to Durham for a few drinks there, then back to Newcastle for the evening. We managed to get back to Chris and Hills place (in Heaton ) in dribs and drabs, and once there, l would like to point out that l was last man standing, as everyone ended up flaking out. I shared the living room with Matt, which was a big mistake as he snores louder than Robbo, so l never had much sleep. Probably (no probably about it really) l would have been over the limit driving back on Sunday, then it was the traditional end to the adventure at The Cross Keys, before back to (not so sunny) Catterick. Sat drinking wine in the garden with the FPO and the idiot animals, followed by a soak in the bath and a relatively early night. Chris enjoyed it, l didn't flake out, and there was no violence, so a good time was had by all. I was surprised how many other stag and hen does were out in both Newcastle and Durham, especially as we avoided The Bigg Market. It wasn't like that back when l used to boss the place (Newcastle). Bloody kids today etc etc....

toodle pip

robert redford's hair

What the hell is he thinking going out and about with hair like that? There is no way it is real, so at some stage, he must have chosen the colour and look, checked himself in his (obviously distorted) mirror and said to himself "My, you've still got it, you handsome old cad". Somebody should have a quiet word in his ear about this, and if he doesn't listen, a very loud word. It's for his own good. Time waits for no man, but lets not be ridiculous, he can still see a reflection (but may not listen to dissenting voices).

toodle pip

choi xooang and emil alzamora art

Emil Alzamora art

Emil Alzamora art

Choi Xooang art

Choi Xooang art

Choi Xooang art

Choi Xooang art

These are kind of spooky looking but really emotive. They also remind me of work by Ron Mueck, who is liked so much in our household, we have a couple of prints framed in the living room.

Choi Xooang is based in Seoul, while Emil Alzamora is based in Beacon, New York (but is from Peru).

Cracking stuff.

toodle pip

tree shaping for the garden

This is all pretty damn good, but it needs a lot of patience. The trees have been manipulated by using wires and shaped into whatever the artist/shaper wants. Full details are here :

http://pooktre.com/

I'll have to start cracking on in the garden.

toodle pip

the night sky

Plains Milky Way from Randy Halverson on Vimeo.

Ah....lovely!

toodle pip

worms inside your face

Now that is disgusting.

toodle pip

bloody grass cutting

The before picture of the garden

The after picture

Another after picture

The overgrown rabbit run

Tubbs, the idiot rabbit, taking shelter in the run

After a hard days slog at work (OK, a pretty easy day), l returned home and carried on slaving away (putting in the hours) by cutting the bloody grass, which has been growing quite a bit while l have been otherwise engaged. I did think about putting it off, but no-one else was going to do it, and l would have been cursing even more if l allowed it to get longer, so l cracked on, cursing and a sweating as l did so. Thankfully, the worst is now over, and as l am off work until next Wednesday afternoon, l will be praying for some sun at the start of next week ( a fat lot of good that will do me). I am off on a stag do in Newcastle tomorrow, so it had better not be a scorcher until l return home (probably on Sunday evening). British bloody summers... Never mind..soon be in Portugal!

toodle pip

dexy's midnight runners - this is what she's like (full video)

Dexys Midnight Runners - This Is What She's Like on MUZU.TV

By Jimminy, this video has dated, but l still love the song and it brings back many happy memories of the good ship Dexy (and New York). Apparently there's a chance of a reformation of some form next year. If this turns out to be true, count me in. One of the best gigs l saw was at Newcastle City Hall when they were promoting the 'Don't Stand me Down' Lp. The gig did not sell out, but they got everyone to the front, played a great gig, then hung around for a chat and autograph signing. Just what l want from a gig. Great band, and as for Kevin's voice, you either love it or hate it. I'm on the side of love (bloody hippie that l am).

toodle pip

santos v flamengo - neymar goal

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!

SENNNNNNNNNNNNNSATIONAALLLLLL!!!!!!

FANNNTASTICOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

EL SPACTACULAROOOOOOOOOOOO GOL!!!!

Those crazy foreigners!

toodle pip

nick knowles - an eye for an eye

This is fantastic! Especially when it gets to about 1.10 minutes in when he goes all gravelly on your ass. Written by John Knowles (his brother or dad? - l haven't checked). There sure is some talent in that family. Get back to the DIY (but please stay off my TV screen).

toodle pip

my favourite amy winehouse joke (so far)

Amy Winehouse approaches the gates of Heaven and is at the back of a massive queue of people. St. Peter sees her and beckons her to the front. "Am I getting special treatment because of my fame?" she asks. St. Peter replies, "No, we're still waiting for a Norwegian translator for this lot!"

toodle pip

the qingdao lake

This is what the lake at Qingdao, China, (also the home of the Qingdao Haiwan Bridge / Jiaozhou Bay Bridge), is like at the moment. Lots and lots of green algae everywhere. Those plucky Chinese aren't put off their swimming, though l don't think l would be so keen to go for a dip in it. Yuk.

toodle pip

norway to stay open - hurrah!

Jen - the top man

The Prime Minister of Norway, Jens Stoltenberg, has stated that there will be no clampdown/war on terror/over reaction to last weeks shootings and car bomb.

He stated

“It’s absolutely possible to have an open, democratic, inclusive society, and at the same time have security measures and not be naive,” Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg told reporters in Oslo. “I think what we have seen is that there is going to be one Norway before and one Norway after July 22,” he said. “But I hope and also believe that the Norway we will see after will be more open, a more tolerant society than what we had before.”

Top man. That is the way to deal with any form of terrorism, don't let them win by becoming too scared and paranoid. By all means do some security checks, but it is better to live in an open society with the risks that entails, rather than all parts of our everyday lives being affected because of the 'terrorist threat'.

toodle pip

random cds from wikipedia

As l am a sad bastard and can occupy my time by pushing the random on Wikipedia to see what comes up, l have recently been alerted to the existence of these albums. I have not heard the music from them, or bothered reading about the artists, l just skipped through quickly to see what came up. As stated earlier though, l am pretty sad, so will probably download some of these in the immediate future to hear what they are like, as my curiosity could not stand it if l didn't.

More of my valuable minutes on this Earth which will be squandered away (or enriched by the experience, l don't know yet). Stone me...what a life.

toodle pip

tonights menu - live sushi, squid and cuttlefish

This looks disgusting and is nearly enough to make me go vegetarian. I am aware that the fish and squid are just moving because of nerve reflexes, and l certainly hope that it is the same for the cuttlefish, but it does not look that way. There are plenty more videos like this out there, but three is certainly enough. Urghh!

toodle pip

the new york heatwave

New York and the east coast of the USA are having a heatwave at the moment, with records matching previous highs (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-14252768).

Bastards! What the hell has happened to our summer?

I shall be writing a strong letter of complaint to God in the morning.

toodle pip

the chilean volcano photos

These may be old hat by now as l was sent them by my brother in law a while ago (Hello Dazzer!), but they are pretty spectacular and deserve a viewing. Mother nature at it's best, or maybe it's the old Gaia hypothesis and the Earth is trying to destroy us to protect itself. Bring it on l say, it's about time l was put out of my misery, what with my aching knees, dodgy ticker, delicate back and dented skull. I guess l will never get to play for Manchester United now. Damn and damnation!!!!

toodle pip

marc bolan's mr freedom jacket from 'born to boogie'

This has just been sold for £9,375, and was worn by Marc Bolan in the 'Born to Boogie' film.

One of the benefits for the FPO of me not being loaded, is the fact that l do not fill the house with even more junk/memorabilia/worthless artefacts/bits of history, as l would definitely have wanted this (although l very much doubt that l would have been able to squeeze myself into it).

toodle pip

documentary time - lemmy and dave davies

Caught these two documentaries at the weekend, and enjoyed both of them, although l did think both could have done with being a bit shorter.

Dave Davies came across pretty reasonably, considering how he has had to live in the shadow of his brother Ray all of his life. It was telling how Ray was quoted to Dave that if he had the chance to do it again, he would change everything, whereas Dave said he wouldn't change a thing, as 'There is no such thing as failure, just learning experiences'. Not too sure about his belief in all the spiritual stuff (see http://www.davedavies.com/), but each to their own.

Lemmy was as you would expect, still drinking, smoking, playing one armed bandits, and collecting war memorabilia. He could easily appear to be a sad bastard, but he seems to have settled into a lifestyle he enjoys. I do think, along with Keith Richards (the great man himself), he has morphed into a caricature of himself, dressing in black, wearing the big boots etc, when he never used to be like that in the past. A bit too much of people just praising Lemmy, when they could have been showing more of the back story, but still entertaining for someone like me, who used to go and see Motörhead on a regular basis. The FPO got bored after about an hour or so, but valiantly stuck it out till the end.

Nearly forgot, his home is also messier than ours (unbelievably).

toodle pip

big fat important movie - an american carol (2008)

Bloody hell, if l thought Dinner for Schmucks was bad, this film made it look like Lawrence of Arabia. Leslie Nielsen did some crap films in his time, but this one takes the biscuit. The version l saw was called 'Big Fat Important Movie', but it was also released as 'An American Carol'. They should have called it something else such as 'A Big Fat American Waste Of Time'. I didn't even make the half hour mark without wanting to boot the TV in. How on earth do these films get made? Can't anyone tell they are not funny? How can l get back the precious time l have wasted watching this shit? Answers on a postcard please (usual address).

toodle pip

dinner for schmucks (2010)

This is a remake of the (rather excellent) French film Le Dîner de Cons , but is in no way an equal to it. As usual, the Americans have simplified and over egged it to such a degree that it is not funny. I really like Steve Carell in the American version of The Office but this was just embarrassing, so l only tolerated about half an hour before cursing and heading for the off switch. Thank God l didn't pay to see this at the pictures. Crap.

toodle pip

charlie brooker writes about the norway killings

So, the events in Norway on Friday turn out to be by a Norwegian citizen, rather than by Al Qaeda. What a surprise (see earlier post). Charlie Brooker writes about it a lot more eloquently than l could ever envisage

(http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jul/24/charlie-brooker-norway-mass-killings)

and nails it with his assessment of the (so called) experts when he states :

'If anyone reading this runs a news channel, please, don't clog the airwaves with fact-free conjecture unless you're going to replace the word "expert" with "guesser" and the word "speculate" with "guess", so it'll be absolutely clear that when the anchor asks the expert to speculate, they're actually just asking a guesser to guess. Also, choose better guessers. Your guessers were terrible, like toddlers hypothesising how a helicopter works. I don't know anything about international terrorism, but even I outguessed them'.

A voice of reason, backing up my ideas and cynisism, which pleased me no end. Experts! Pah!!

toodle pip

round at louise and dazzers

One of the stinking cats getting comfortable on me

Remains of the curry

Dazzer hard at work (I have a hay fever sick note)

The willow tree

My shadow

Another comfy cat picture

As Louise and Dazzer (and she that shall not be named) moved into their new home on Thursday/Friday, myself and the FPO popped over on Friday night to welcome them to the new abode and prevent them calling round to our place (where the doors are both now kept locked). We were rewarded with a curry for our enevours, so it worked out pretty damn well. Hurrah! Stayed for a while chatting and drinking the finest ale known to man, and even returned for a brief chat yesterday as the parents and Nora also made an appearance (their's not mine, l am a poor orphan). I prefer the new home to the old one in Stockton, and there is a great view of a willow tree from their living room. The home needs some work doing to it, but at least it has character and potential, and they have plenty of time, as, unlike me, they are not old gets. What the???!!.. I am starting to sound like an estate agent! Keith would be ashamed off me, so l will have to overcompensate with booze and drugs for the next couple of days so l can earn back my rock and roll spurs. Chin chin!

toodle pip