that's it - l'm off to egypt

This is where l will be in a few hours - Newcastle Airport, as l am on a work trip to Egypt.  It's a hard job, but somebody's got to do it, and that somebody is usually me. Apart from setting off to the airport at 5.30am, l'm looking forward to it.  If l don't get blown up by the terrorists (always painful) l'll be back next week.  As for now, time for a power nap.

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there's something about mary (1998) - the farrelly brothers

There's Something About Mary is one of those outrageously rare things.  An American film that is actually funny.  This features just the right amount of visual humour, slapstick, surreal episodes and emotional moments, plus it has the added advantage of the serenading Jonathan Richman appearing throughout, who can do little wrong in my eyes (and ears).  Everyone must know the story by now, as it's been out for years and it was a huge success, so l won't ramble on about that, but all of the actors are just right in their roles. Cameron Diaz has never looked better, but all of them play their part in making the movie such a runaway hit.  The story has a twist or two along the way, and the episodes with the zip and the hair cream are the most famous, but for me, the segments with the dog steal the film, especially Ben Stiller's.  This was about the third time l have seen it, and it was still worth it.  If only all the 'so called American comedies' were like this.

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door handle sticker adverts

These door handle stickers are for products such as Viagra, and are by Charm, a Chinese advertising agency.  Not an original idea, but they still look good and make me chuckle (simple fool that l am).

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jerry sadowitz on jimmy savile

Jerry Sadowitz is promoting his new show at the Leicester Square Theatre by impersonating Jimmy Savile, but more importantly, reminding everyone that he was not afraid to say it how it was back in the day, with a recording of one of Sadowitz's old shows from 1987 (Gobshite) being highlighted.
Sadowitz is not always hilarious  by any stretch of the imagination, but he certainly is unique, and at times, can hit the nail right on the head, while being funny with it (and doing magic tricks).  I'll even forgive him for appearing in the crappy Kathy Burke series about her childhood (Walking and Talking)
We'll miss him when he's gone.


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keith and charlie photograph, plus the stones docs

I've been watching The Rolling Stones stuff this afternoon that l recorded last night, and although l had already seen most of the stuff shown, there were some great clips that l hadn't had the pleasure of perusing previously.  Dancing With Mr D on The Old Grey Whistle Test, although not one of their finer moments, was one clip, and amongst the photographs new to me, there was this beauty featuring Keith Richards and Charlie Watts, with Keith hamming it up for the camera, but looking pretty cool while doing so.  Effete yet dangerous to hang around - just like l have tried to live my life (as certain people would testify).  I even (allegedly) crashed a car once while arguing that 'I am Keith Richards' and the passenger was 'Bill' (as in Wyman), resulting in me being distracted and writing the car off (although the drink may not have helped).  Not big or clever, but it happened.
Those were the days.    Drink? Tick      Drugs? Tick    Sex and Rock and Roll? Tick   Violence? Tick      Three nights awake?  Tick (but it makes you itchy).
It's a good job l've settled down, as it's not easy putting the hours in.
As for the 'Crossfire Hurricane' documentary, the 25x5 one years ago (1989!!!) was miles better, but it is not available on DVD (but of course l do own a dodgy one).  What they really need is an Anthology series like The Beatles had.  I'd certainly part with my money for one of those, as l'm sure many others would do.
Sort it out.
Now!









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posters for the original ocean's 11

Posters for the original 1960 film of Oceans 11,  from when stars were stars.   I still think Dean Martin was the coolest out of them, and l will hear no argument otherwise.   My dad used to love him, and l grew up listening to the records, whether l liked it or not, but it was a fine education for any drunken scouse chancer (of which l am one).




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a spider-man approved patio door

An Altrium patio door that Spider-Man can swing in on.  If it's good enough for Spidey, it's good enough for me.  Mine's on order.

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the monty python boys

When Monty Python were all still getting along (I think), having a laugh, and coming out with some classic comedic moments.  Some of their stuff was crap, but when they were funny, boy were they funny.

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the new evil dead film

I'm looking forward to this film a lot, and the new poster is certainly building my hopes up.  The new 'Evil Dead' - Out next year.

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the men in black - tony o'neill

It's taken me a few years to get around to reading 'The Men In Black', the second of Tony O'Neills books about being one of the top boys (if not the top) in Manchester United's firm for 30 years.  Unfortunately, much as l love Manchester United, this turned out to be as l had expected.  I can't really complain too much, as the book delivers as far as tales of fighting goes, but that is also the problem.  I have been to many a United game over the years, starting from when l was a kid in the 1960's.  I have been involved in lots of trouble and been thrown out of grounds, done drugs, been to prison etc, so l am not exactly an angel, but this is the same experience as listening to people telling you their tales of drug trips.  It's fun and exciting to have the experience yourself, but not half as much fun being a passive listener (or in this case, reader).  As l said, my problem really, and l would probably have been better off reading O'Neill's 'Red Army General', as that is more about the 1970's, when l went a lot, so l would identify more with the tales.  There's still interesting insights into the police operations and O'Neills arrests and shootings, and if you are looking for a firm (not in that sense) to take you to a United away game, O'Neill provides that very service (but he is a business man now and has calmed down).  It certainly bought back memories of all standing, city centre riots and no go zones, but nothing like being there.  Football and the stadiums today?  Not half as much fun.
As a side note, we used to hire a coach from Colburn in about 1976 to go to the United games.  This stopped when the coach was smashed up and they refused to hire us any more.  Who was it smashed up by? Only the same United fans from Colburn that used it (and who would also think nothing of fighting and stealing from other United fans).  That's how mad it used to be.

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william hague on the syrian rebels

William Hague talking about the Syrian Rebels

The UK government recognises a coalition of Syrian rebel forces as the "sole legitimate representative" of the Syrian people, Foreign Secretary William Hague has announced. In a Commons statement on the situation in the Middle East on 20 November 2012, Mr Hague said he had received "assurances" from representatives of the National Coalition of the Syrian Revolutionary and Opposition Forces about their commitment to uphold human rights and work for a democratic future. "It is strongly in the interests of Syria, of the wider region and of the United Kingdom that we support them and deny space to extremist groups," the foreign secretary added. "A credible alternative to the Assad regime is emerging that has the growing support of the Arab League, the European Union, the United States and an increasing number of other countries." Shadow foreign secretary Douglas Alexander welcomed Mr Hague's decision. "Recognition is a vital step forward," he said.

I think this will be the main issue.  'Supporting them'.

Reading between the lines, and being a cynical bastard, that will mean  'Selling them arms'.

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the scorpion nightclub

Ah.... This certainly takes me back.  It doesn't matter if you remember the place as The Scorpion, The Walerville, The Walkie, The Rats Palace, The Pink Palace or Staxx, you will definitely remember the wild nights, the mine sweeping, the fights, the romance, the food  (either inside or at Brian Taylor's van), and the search for a party afterwards.  Catterick and Colburn is not the same without it, and the bloody Colburn Lodge is still closed and up for sale.  Progress - Pah!

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more apartment foreign posters

I wasn't kidding about my love for the foreign posters.  Four more from 'The Apartment'.

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cats on acid

We've all been there at some stage

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conquering the butterflies

Jordan Matter has taken photographs of dancers in various poses around Tyron Park, NYC (as well as other places) for 'Dancers Amongst Us'.  All well and good, but the reason l have put this photograph up is because, although l am not scared of heights and will prat about near edges way up high, l still feel butterflies in my stomach when l see other people (such as this dirty footed Health and Safety ignoring risk taker) laughing in the face of gravity, leaning backward over a wall.  Probably because l wouldn't wish to do that pose myself ( and would look a lot worse), but mainly as it's one thing overcoming the butterflies and fear, but ultimately, l still want to survive to tell the tale afterwards.  I bet she never even completed a Risk Assessment beforehand.

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walls made of records

Mmmmmmmmmm  Look at all those lovely records.
If l only had the money (and time).  I'm seething with jealousy.

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the apartment foreign film posters

Once again - l love foreign film posters!  Five from 'The Apartment'.

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the apartment (1960) - billy wilder

The Apartment is one of the great Billy Wilder screwball comedies starring Jack Lemmon, and was the follow up to Wilder's  'Some Like It Hot'.  Lemmon plays C.C Baxter, a company drone who falls for Fran Kubelik, the girl operating the lift in his workplace, played by Shirley MacClaine.  Baxter is also being put upon and used by his superiors, as his apartment is conveniently located for affairs to take place.  They pressure him to vacate it in the evenings so they can use it behind their wives backs, and although Baxter is diligent and hard working, he gains promotion due to his apartment's availability.  However, unbeknown to him, his boss, Mr Sheldrake,  is using it to see Miss Kubelik, who is his mistress.  Baxter discovers the truth and Kubelik realises that Sheldrake is just stringing her along, resulting in her taking an overdose in Baxter's apartment.  Luckily for all concerned, she is found by Baxter, bought round by the neighbouring Doctor, and then has to recuperate in the apartment with Baxter looking after her (it's based around Christmas time).  From then on it's a guessing game so see if they will fall for each other and find true love (of course they will).  Both MacLaine and Lemmon are excellent in their roles, and it must have been tough for MacLaine to follow Marilyn Monroe (the love interest in 'Some Like It Hot'), but she manages to achieve it while also being completely different from her in every way.  A classic.

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the rolling stones - grr

Sad, but true

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mckayla maroney looking less than impressed

The USA gymnast McKayla Maroney was snapped looking less than impressed when she only won the silver medal at the last Olympic games in London.  Since then, people have been adding her image to iconic photographs (see the middle one), but even better than that, she met the newly re elected President Barack Obama last Thursday, and showed him how to do the face, and of course, being the good sport that he is (and understanding how the press work), he copied it.  If you are sad enough to want to add her to photographs, the cut out picture is at the top.  Fill your boots.

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the rolling stones bonanza on tv, plus the jingles and wayne gibson

The Jingles - She's a Rainbow

Wayne Gibson - Under my Thumb

There's load of Rolling Stones stuff on TV at the moment (which is bliss for me), and amongst the songs featured on BBC 2's 'Sings the Stones' on Saturday night were these two little beauties.
First off, The Jingles (from Space Pirates) performing 'She's a Rainbow' in the style of Oasis.  The singer/puppet even has the stance (hands behind back, leaning back) of Liam Gallagher.  Excellent stuff.
The other was Wayne Gibson performing 'Under My Thumb' (a Northern Soul classic) on Crackerjack in front of a load of bemused children.  Not sure about the lyrics to the song being appropriate to the TV studio audience, who's average age must have been about 7, but it's a great tune.  Unfortunately l couldn't find the clip from Crackerjack on You Tube, so there's just the song above.  I'll keep searching and update the video when it appears (as it surely will).
Charlie is my Darling is amongst the stuff to be shown this weekend, probably in a lot better quality than the briefly (and probably unofficially) released DVD l bought years ago - Bring it on!

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a drunk man rides a crocodile

From BBC news Asia-Pacific

A drunk man who climbed into a crocodile enclosure in Australia and attempted to ride a 5m (16ft) long crocodile has survived his encounter. The crocodile, called Fatso, bit the 36-year-old man's leg, tearing chunks of flesh from him as he straddled the reptile. He received surgery to serious wounds to his leg and is recovering in hospital, police say. He had been chucked out of a pub in the town of Broome for being too drunk. The man, Michael Newman, climbed over a fence and tried to sit on the 800kg (1,800lb) saltwater crocodile. Continue reading the main story “ Start Quote If it had been warmer and Fatso was more alert, we would have been dealing with a fatality” Malcolm Douglas "Fatso has taken offence to this and has spun around and bit this man on the right leg," Sgt Roger Haynes of Broome police told journalists. "The crocodile has let him go and he's been able to scale the fence again and leave the wildlife park." 'Right mind' Malcolm Douglas, the park's owner, said that the crocodile was capable of crushing a man to death with a single bite. "The man who climbed the fence was fortunate because Fatso was a bit more sluggish than normal, due to the cooler nights we have been experiencing in Broome," said Mr Douglas. "If it had been warmer and Fatso was more alert, we would have been dealing with a fatality." "No person in their right mind would try to sit on a 5m crocodile, Saltwater crocodiles, once they get hold of you, are not renowned for letting you go." The man staggered back to the pub bleeding heavily. Pub manager Mark Phillips said staff told him that the man reappeared at about 11pm with bits of bark hanging off him and flesh gouged out of his limbs. "They said he had chunks out of his legs and things like that," Mr Phillips told The West Australian news website. An average of two people are killed each year in Australia by aggressive saltwater crocodiles, which can grow up to 7m (23 ft) long and weigh more than a tonne.

I love the fact that the man (who just had to be Australian) was so drunk he was kicked out of a pub (is that even allowed in Australia?).  He then decided to have a ride on the crocodile  and then strolled back to a pub afterwards, with flesh hanging off his leg.  Talk about your stereotypical Australian bloke - this is priceless!  He sounds just like the sort of bloke l should be drinking with, rather than the namby pamby Brits that l put up with.

                                                          The croc - looking for lunch

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japanese batman poster

What a superb poster from Japan for the old Batman film in the 1960's.  That's the way to market a movie!

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pam ayres takes on horses

I'm not a huge fan of Pam Ayres by any stretch of the imagination, but this piss take of the Patti Smith 'Horses' cover is was a superb idea, and looks so good.  I like the added touch of calling it 'Orses as well.  It nearly makes me want to go out and buy it, but not enough.
UPDATE!!!
Damn!   Just realised after a bit more research, that this is a spoof/mock up, apparently by Half Man Half Biscuit.  Still a great idea though.

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