bloody spiders (again!)

As it is nice weather again today, l thought l would open the front door and see how hot it was, as l had not even opened a door since Monday, and have been inside all week. Look what was awaiting me (and l nearly walked into). A bloody big spiders web right across the doorway with a fat spider in the middle. I wouldn't mind so much, but it must only have spun it's web today as the FPO went out through the doorway this morning on the way to work. Christ l hate them. Saying that, it didn't half go flying off into the distance when l whacked it with one of the kitchen implements (which l then washed vigorously afterwards). I am definitely checking doorways before strolling through them in the future. That's something else to be worried about - no wonder l can relate to Woody Allen movies (see below).

toodle pip

play it again sam - herbert ross

Although directed by Herbert Ross, Play It Again Sam was written by (and stars) Woody Allen, and it maybe my favourite film of his. Allen Felix (Woody) is getting a divorce and trying to get acquainted with another girl (with the help of his best friends, Dick and Linda). He keeps getting imaginary advice from Humphrey Bogart, and ends up falling for Linda (Diana Keaton), which turns out to be mutual. In the end they all do the right thing, which also involves re-enacting the end of Casablanca (just watch the film). It is excellent throughout, Woody is fantastic doing his slapstick routines, and the wordplay also scores highly. Although l have nearly recovered from my illness, l nearly killed myself with a mixture of laughing out loud, followed by a bouts of frantic coughing. Well worth it though, as it's brilliant film. I may even dig out and have a drink from the mug that l bought at Rick's cafe (in Casablanca, but not the original one as it was a studio build).

toodle pip

the exorcism of anneliese michel

After thinking about The Exorcist in the earlier post, l have been reading about Exorcisms, and in particular, the Exorcism of Anneliesse Michel (and the ensuring prosecution). The above clip has tapes from the Exorcism (which went on for months) and some photographs of her. The film 'The Exorcism of Emily Rose' is loosely based on the events, and there is still a lot of debate as to whether she was possessed, if the priests and family did the right thing (she dies of dehydration and malnutrition), and if she should be classed as a saint.

To me, much as l love the films, the demonic stuff is all rubbish and she suffered from a mental illness (probably Depression and Dissociative Identity/Multiple Personality Disorder). The priests and family failed her insomuch as they did not provide (as we say in the trade) a 'Duty of Care', resulting in her death. It's still interesting hearing and seeing Exorcisms, just to witness the sheer (and unwarranted) belief that the 'victim' is possessed. Maybe she was prepared to do anything just to get some attention (that is not an official medical diagnosis). Once again, l blame God.

toodle pip

the exorcist 3 scary clip

Thinking and reading about the Exorcist films earlier, l was reminded of this clip from Exorcist 3. A truly scary moment (although the first Exorcist film is still the best). Try not to soil yourself while watching it.

toodle pip

wilson greatbatch has died

Who is Wilson Greatbatch? You may well ask and think that he has nothing to do with your drab and wretched lives (copyright Tom Leher), but he is someone who will definately affect my life, and maybe yours as well. Why? Because he is the man who invented the Pacemaker, a device l will (probably shortly) end up getting put in, once l flake out again and manage to record what happened beforehand (as l currently have a memory device installed - space age stuff!). Bring it on I say! Then again, the pacemaker looks a bit bigger than the memory device, and that took some shoving and writhing to cram in. I'm also a bit dubious about how far those wires are going to go as well, so l reckon there could be a sore chest involved afterwards. The good news is..... more time off work! (hurrah!)

toodle pip

white humpback whale

Something else l would like to see. Not just a humpback whale, Oh dearie me no, this is only a white one! This is thought to be a baby and has just been photographed near the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. If it wasn't for the dodgy spiders down that neck of the woods (or sea), l would be there in no time (OK, some time, but a short amount of it).

toodle pip

dodgy sega advert

An old advert for Sega games, and pretty damn funny as well. A medal for whoever came up with it.

toodle pip

heidi the cross eyed opossum has died

I had only just found out about Heidi, the cross eyed Virginia Opossum from Leipzig Zoo, when the little bugger went and died (was put down on the 28th Sept). She was certainly an animal l would loved to have seen, but to commemorate her, here's some photographs. I will now have a minutes silence....

Damn! Impossible - still coughing!

toodle pip

breakfast of champions - alan rudolph (1999)

As l am still up and coughing, l found the 'Breakfast of Champions' film on my computer, which l had forgotten l downloaded a while ago, so stuck that on to pass the time. It was certainly a strange film, as the main actors were excellent (especially Albert Finney as Kilgore Trout), but they also hammed it up too much and went for cheap laughs, rather than just trying to make a good adaptation of the (rather excellent) book. A pretty boring film with not many (in fact no) laughs. Read the book instead.

Heading off to bed now as watching this must have affected me more than l thought, as l have just been and tried to be sick (no success). This illness had better bugger off soon, it's either the illness or me - one of us has to surrender..

toodle pip

bob dylan - (2010), plus leon busy (1905) 'opium'

There is a bit of a fuss at the moment as to whether Bob Dylan has ripped off an old photograph for his 'Opium' painting. You would be a fool to deny that it has not come from Leon Busy's photograph, which was taken in about 1905, but where is the problem with painting a photograph? If Dylan claims all the inspiration for himself, and says it is original, that is another matter. Until then, chill out and make the most of his Bobness while he is still alive (Plus l like both the painting and photo). Not sure about putting the paintings in an art gallery if they are to be judged on the paintings themselves, but l have no issues with Dylan's paintings/writings/drawings/artifacts being displayed somewhere as a tribute and homage to the great man.

toodle pip

la regle du jeu (1939 ) - jean renoir

La Regle Du Jeu, known as 'The Rules of The Game' in English, is by Jean Renoir, and is considered to be one of the greatest films of all time. Not by me it isn't matey boy. A French drama/farce/satire highlighting the decadence of the upper classes just before the Second World War, it just wasn't that dramatic or funny. I did think some of the cinematography and deep focus was excellent, but the actual story left me cold. A hero pilot returns, everyone meets at a country house, where they are all (including the servants) being (or trying to be) unfaithful, then someone gets shot at the end. There's a nice close up shot of a squirrel, so at least it salvaged something. The first film l have been able to watch for a few days, so l will have to send off a letter of complaint to the French authorities. (and God, who made me ill).

toodle pip

a better and easy way to thread a needle

These type of needles have probably been on the go for years, but it is the first time l have seen one. What an excellent idea! Obviously (and despite my age), l have 20/20 vision and therefore have no issues when it comes to threading a needle. On the other hand, a lot of others do have issues with them, so this idea is top notch (as we used to say in the Air Force).

toodle pip (and top - ho!)

a cat with two heads and one brain

Unlike our idiot rabbit that has one (fat) head and half (if that) a brain.

toodle pip

20 years with brian clough - provided you don't kiss me - duncan hamilton

Duncan Hamilton was covering Nottingham Forest when Brian Clough was their manager, so got to know him pretty well (or as well as anyone could do outside of his family). There are some great tales (as expected), and the book is really well written. It reports the highs and lows with Clough, so it is a winner with me (The book also won the William Hill Sports Book of the Year award in 2007). Clough was certainly a complex man, who sadly let the drink get the better of him and impair his judgement during his later years, but he is someone sorely missed in management (when he was younger). I, (amongst many others), would have loved him to become England manager, that would certainly have been interesting. He obviously could not have been less successful. The FA - Ron bleeding Greenwood????? - what a bunch of bastards.

toodle pip

life and laughing - michael mcintyre

Michael McIntyre's book is one that l guessed l would not like, as a lot of his stand up l am not that keen on, and l thought "here we go, another posh boy telling the tale about how they had the same chances as everyone else, but made it through the hardships". Some of it was like that, l'll admit. He does however, not try to cover up any of the posh stuff, and freely admits to any help he has had. I know a lot of established comics do not like him, but he doesn't mention this in the book, (although he has done in interviews). Maybe it's because of his supposed meteoric rise to fame and fortune, but he did put in the hours (years) before he became famous, and there are some good tales of having no money. There are lots of instances of what a hopeless ass he is, and how sad and desperate he was around girls, which was pretty funny, and an especially good part about wanking all the time (you will have to read it). Much better than l anticipated (unless it's the god-damn flu impairing my judgement).

toodle pip

red - gary neville

Gary Neville is certainly someone who divides opinion (a bit like Robbie Savage). Manchester United fans love him and Liverpool fans hate him (Gary Neville is a red - he hates scousers). England fans have certainly given him (and his brother - and Beckham) a hard time over the years, so he has some bad memories of playing for them, and admits he would rather do better for United than England (which l admire), but was still proud to play for his country. I'm on the love side of any argument, as he is United through and through, and it was a shame his career petered out through injuries and becoming slower. There was not a lot in the book l didn't already know, but l liked it anyway, as it is always good to hear accounts of the Gods such as Cantona. The main revelation was about how the youth team used to play tricks on each other, as the stories about the England set up/farce is well known. He repeats that the players wanted Venables to stay on as manager after 1996, and thought it was madness he was not kept on, thanks to the FA (who he has no time at all for). Not too much dirt is spilt, but if you support Manchester United, it is always worth reading for another view of the situation behind closed doors (and more confirmation that Sir Alex Ferguson is the hardest working man going). Oh, and he even has some good words about Liverpool.

toodle pip

nerd do well - simon pegg

As l have been unwell and wanted some easy reading, l have gone through some autobiographies, as they are easy to digest in small chunks. Nerd do Well was OK, but (as l should have expected), there was too much about the 'Dawn of the Dead' and 'Star Wars' films for my liking, but, as Simon Pegg admits over and over again, he is a nerd, and he does love those films (but not the later ones of Star Wars) . There is also a fantasy part with himself as a hero with a robot butler, which l was not keen on at first, but it grew on me. I haven't seen 'Paul' yet, and to tell the truth, l am in no great hurry to, as l have not enjoyed his recent films. However, l do hope it is good as l love some of his stuff, it's good that he admits Nick Frost is funnier than him, and he sounds like a normal and nice guy (although I wouldn't want to be stoned listening to him give a critical analysis of the movies he likes).

toodle pip

off work ill and reading

Urgh! The good news is l have been off work, and will be off again tomorrow (I think I will be back on Saturday). The bad news is l have flu/pleurisy/swine flu/bronchitis/leprosy or something bad, as l have been sneezing, crapping, not sleeping properly, having hot flushes, aching all over, and coughing up phlegm all the time, resulting in a bad chest and not being able to breath properly (I'm really going through my inhalers at the moment). Although the weather has been great, l have been indoors, reading and falling asleep, then waking up coughing. I even took a picture of my wee yesterday as it was pretty dark, but the FPO advised me not to put it on the blog (she has no taste). Feel like l am getting better, as l have stopped sneezing, but am still aching everywhere and not breathing properly (and still coughing up that phlegm!). It will have to be a trip to the doctors if it continues, but hopefully it is nearly over. I wouldn't mind the flushes and can tolerate aches and pains to be off work, but it's the constant coughing and lack of breath that gets on my (and the FPO's) nerves. I blame God.

toodle pip

ants changing colour

The ants are drinking flavoured and coloured sugar water. I never thought they would look like this, but l suppose it makes sense.

toodle pip

giant panda cubs

These are being bred in China. How cute.

toodle pip

eye test advert

Very clever.

toodle pip

the league of extraordinary gentlemen (2003) - stephen norrington

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is a film l was certainly looking forward to, as l like Alan Moore's stuff (who did the original comics) a lot, but this film was one Hell of a disappointment. I had seen some of it before, but l thought it was crap then. However, the last time, drink had been taken beforehand, and as this time it was on TV while l was at work, l taped it and decided to give it another go. l managed to last about an hour before conceding defeat and switching it off. That is a sign of a bad film, as, let's face it, l was at work anyway, and had plenty of time to kill .It is kind of hard to say what l don't like about the movie, as there is certainly enough ingredients for a classic, but it just lacks something. It has no suspense, thrills or excitement, although Captain Nemo's sub looked great. Victorian superheroes are to save the world, a great idea, with some wacky and unlikely heroes, but it's still crap. I wonder if they realised it did not work when they were making it? Probably not, as it may not have become apparent until it was finished (or nearly finished). What a waste (and shame).

toodle pip

3,096 days - natasha kampusch

This book is about Natasha Kampusch and her abduction in 1988 by Wolfgang Priklopil, who kept her in his Austrian basement until she escaped in 2006. The book was at the villa l stayed at on holiday, so l bought it home with me to read, as it is something l would not have spent any of my hard earned cash on. It is obviously repetitive and pretty harrowing, but because of the nature of the captivity, not a lot really happens, apart from her getting older, suffering more beatings and hard work, and explaining how she does not feel she has Stockholm Syndrome. The most interesting parts (for me at least) were the abduction itself, her forgiveness of him, and getting the courage to finally escape. What a life she has had (I thought mine was bad enough). At least she had a good education by him, so it was not all wasted#.

# Yes, that is a joke. Maybe a tasteless one, but a joke non the less. Get over it.

toodle pip

cybill shepherd - cybill disobedience

A lot of stuff about being beautiful, sleeping around a lot, and the hassle involved doing films and TV. Can't say l found it that exciting or interesting, but l had downloaded it for free so l thought l would give it a go, as she is certainly opinionated, and l thought she was especially good in 'The Last Picture Show' and 'Moonlighting'.

toodle pip

chris evans - memoirs of a fruitcake

How he met and married, made a fortune, and then lost a lot of it. I actually like Chris Evans' attitude towards money and life, and he admits himself that he was an idiot sometimes, but has survived it all and is still doing pretty damn fine by anyone's standards. He has certainly had some great experiences along the way (including some dealings with me, probably the highlight of his life), and lived life fully. If only l had that kind of money....(I would probably be dead by now).

toodle pip

more comic madness

.
More comic madness from the good old days. What on earth were they thinking? (or drinking?).

toodle pip

the fpo's present is sorted for christmas

I am looking forward to seeing the FPO's face as she unwraps this present on Christmas day!

toodle pip