du levande (you, the living) - roy anderssonn (2007)

Is it Swedish?  Depressing? No great story to it? Subtitled? Strange? Weird Music?  Untrained actors?  Black comedic moments? Dream sequences?  
All present and correct (SIR!!).
50 short sketches that sometimes have links, Du Levande (translation - You, the living) certainly isn't like most films out there.  I like to relax with this kind of stuff, but that probably says more about me than the film itself.  Mind you, it took Roy Andersson 3 years and a lot of haggling to get this project completed, so he must be an even stranger cove than l am (high praise indeed).
Now pass me some drugs so l can watch it again, as l might discover some great hidden meaning to it all, apart from the futility of existence (but l doubt it).

toodle pip

the casual vacancy - jk rowling

I have never read any of the Harry Potter books, and am not that interested in the films (I've only seen two), but l thought l would crack on with 'The Casual Vacancy' as it is J.K Rowling's first 'adult' book, and l knew it to be about class, bigotry, politics, and responsibility for others (four of my favourite subjects).  It didn't let me down in  the slightest, as there is plenty of swearing, a bit of sex and violence, and as far as the political angle goes, if Jan Moir of The Daily Mail considers it to be "More than 500 pages of relentless socialist manifesto masquerading as literature, "Then that also ticks my boxes.
A local Parish Councillor (Barry Fairweather) dies, leaving a vacancy.  As he was arguing for the amalgamation of  a local housing estate (The Fields) and drug rehabilitation centre (Bellchaple) with the West Country town of Pagford, and the votes were more or less split, some take this as an opportunity to put themselves (or family) up for Council so they can sway the vote.  'Ghostly' revelations about the nominees are then posted on the Council website'e online forum, with varying consequences.  Along the way, there is the tale of the misunderstood Krystal Weedon, her young brother Robbie, and her ex prostitute, drug addled mother.  Also heavily featured are two school friends, 'Fats' and Andrew (and their families), a cyber bullied Sukhvinder Jawanda (and her family), plus Howard Mollison, the overweight leader of the Parish Council (and his immediate and related family). If you are looking for pomposity, self righteousness, class war, bigoted attitudes, narrow mindedness, overestimated self worth, rape, drugs, and a bit of humour, this novel has them all.  I don't consider it a masterpiece, as it is (even to me) a bit preachy, but parts of it were really well written, and l can't overstate how pleased l am that it is out there in the first place, selling by the bucketload, and (hopefull) changing some peoples perceptions and attitudes towards the working class scumbags (like me) that they so readily despise.

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ellen ripley - believe it or not

This silicone sculpture looks amazingly life like, and just a little bit spooky.  It's of Ellen Ripley from the Alien films (Sigourney Weaver) and it is by Steven Scott (who's Facebook page is here).   Some people are just so talented it is sickening (or at least sickening to me).  Bastard!

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killing time at the kings head in masham

It's not exactly been a very taxing day at work today.  Once again I had time to kill in Masham, so l went to The Kings Head hotel for a drink.  The photograph at the top shows how busy it was and how the non existent barmaid was (not) rushed off her feet.  Mind you, it was only 11.40am, so l couldn't really expect it to be heaving with local pissheads (apart from me).  I had so much time on my hands, that l discovered (after much fiddling - phnaar) there is a drawing device on my phone, so l drew a cartoon face with my thumbnail.  Impressive stuff, l'm sure you will agree.
Still, l was getting paid for it, so technically, that makes me an artist (sort of).

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the new evil dead trailer

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo looking forward to this film.  Evil Dead is one of my favourite films, even if the effects are rubbish and it has really dated.  I just hope the new version isn't a let down (or there will be trouble!)

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aston villa programmes - 61 seasons worth

This collection of Aston Villa programmes is for sale on Ebay now, and it consists of 61 seasons worth.  Now if that was a collection of Manchester United ones stretching back that far, my fingers would be red raw from placing bids. As it is, l still wouldn't mind these myself.  I have nothing but respect for the bloke (it's got to be a bloke) who collected them.

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smokey robinson and the miracles - the tears of a clown

I heard this on the radio in the kitchen while l was downstairs making myself a cup of Oxo (yummy).
Smokey Robinson and The Miracles - Tears of a Clown
Has there ever been a song that is so joyous, with such sad lyrics?


Answers on a postcard please.

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Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights (1992) - peter kosminsky

Wuthering Heights is a book l have never got around to reading, and as l had not seen any other films of the book, l came to this with only a very vague idea of what it was about, most of which l had gleaned from various sources over the years, (but mainly from the Kate Bush song). Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights (to give it its full title) stars Ralph Fiennes (Heathcliff) and Juliett Binoche (Cathy) as the two lovers pulled apart by their upbringing.  Heathcliff is a young scamp who had been rescued from Liverpool and taken into the Earnshaw  household, where he meets and falls in love with Cathy. Sadly for him, as she is pulled further away from him as he gets older, he grows steadily embittered. When he overhears her say she is to marry another (Edgar Linton), he takes off, only to return years later, stinking rich, and out to exact revenge on all who he feels betrayed him (including the children).  There's some great shots of the moors, and Fiennes is strikingly good looking and moody (great eyes!), but much as l like Binoche in other movies ('3 Colours Blue','The English Patient'), her portrayal of Cathy just irritated me for most of the film, and l didn't find her likeable at all (which kind of spoiled it). Maybe it is aimed more for the laydeees (but in which case l should have liked it more).  Look out for a brief appearance by Sinead O'Connor at the end as Emily Brontë herself.  I now consider myself an expert on the book (although l still haven't read it).



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the last post

One of these days, either myself or the FPO will end up here.

Then the world will be a whole new experience (but l can't see it happening for  a long, long time)

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chocolate from joes

As they say in the 'Airplane!' film,  I've picked a fine day to give up chocolate.  I called round to Joes earlier  this evening as his leg/knee was playing up, and he may have to go back into hospital.  He is seeing how he gets on in the next couple of days, but before l headed back home, l was presented with a box of goodies that contained a mixture of chocolates from Cadbury's.  Joe gets them free for some reason (maybe because he owned/owns shares?) but doesn't eat the stuff, so the FPO was happy, and l attacked the Liquorice Allsorts watching United pull back a 0-2 deficit to win 3-2 against Braga.  What a pleasant evening.  Now l'll have to find a place to hide the rest of the chocs or we will be sitting and stuffing our faces every night.

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marijuana - the devils harvest

It's fortunate that l have never been bothered about smoking this (unless in Amsterdam, where it is compulsory), as it doesn't look too healthy for you.
If you are ever in doubt, just ask yourself 'what would Keith do'?
Stick to class 'A's is what l say (although l am a good boy now).


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elizabeth taylor giving it some glamour

There's a new book out about Elizabeth Taylor, that has lots of 'revelations' about her love life.  I'm not going to publicise it by naming it, as l don't believe half of what has been written, and the information has been sourced from people who are now (conveniently) dead.  I don't know how Taylor managed to find any time to act with all of the shagging she was up to, and that also goes for her husbands, as they were not just with her, but were bisexual and at it with other males as well (according to the book).  Sex sells, and the book (fiction?)  will get a lot of publicity, but l would like to have seen them try and put it out while Taylor was still alive.
Anyway, the reason for the post is the accompanying picture that was used in The Daily Mirror review of it.  That's how film stars should present themselves - looking their best at all times, glamourous, unreachable, and way too good for us peasants (or civilians as we are known).
As for todays stars?  Pah!
Amateurs!

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andre muniz gonzagadalata's rock painting

Andre Muniz Gonzanga is a Brazilian artist who has been painting rocks, to amusing effect.  It's a great idea, and probably not original  (I can't be bothered looking for older examples), but they still look great, and pretty humorous (as well as somewhat disturbing).  His flickr stream is here, where there are lots more, including larger scale artworks on cars and houses, but l think the smaller scale stuff on rocks are more striking in their own way.
Now l'm off to dig out the old paints for a bit of landscape adjustment around our way (not for the first time).

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venom halloween make up

Venom is one of the best comic creation of the last few years, and this makeup featuring the Venom face looks pretty good and would be ideal for Halloween.  You'll just have to hope it doesn't become part of you and unable to get off afterwards.

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the birth of galactus

I am off work today, so had a lazy morning reading the top two comics before dragging myself out of my pit to doss about.  They  are 'The Origin of Galactus' and The Fantastic Four story 'The Trial Of Reed Richards', and both (you may have guessed) concern 'Galactus'.  They approach his origin from different angles, and in the FF comic his morality is also bought into question (top philosophical musings ahoy!).  I am just a sucker for some of the old Marvel comics stuff, and consider people such as Stan Lee and Jack Kirby Gods amongst us mere mortals (a bit like Odin or Galactus himself).  Looks like l might be reading the (Mighty) Thor story 'Galactus a Borning' (issue #162 fact fans) tomorrow morning.  When l get round to it, l'll  post up all the scans here.  Enjoy!

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candy - terry southern and mason hoffenberg

I bought this book second hand as l saw it was written by Terry Southern,  who l know from such films as 'The Magic Christian' (starring Ringo), 'Easy Rider', and 'Dr Strangelove').   He has a satirical piss taking style that l like and can identify with,  and 'Candy' was also advertised on the cover as being banned upon it's release in 1958 (so of course l had to give it a go and read it).   Southern wrote it under the name of 'Maxwell Fenton', and there were sex scenes a plenty,   but to these jaded and unshockable eyes,  it wasn't that outrageous.   Supposedly based on Voltaire's 'Candide' (one of my favourite books),  Candy Christian is 18 year old,  sexy,  innocent and naive,  who is repeatedly taken advantage of (mainly in sexual ways),  by just about everybody that she comes into contact with.  She on the other hand,  always sees the good side of everything and deludes herself concerning their motives towards her.  It's comedic and would have pushed boundaries back in the 1950's,  but l don't consider it any worse than some of Tom Sharpe's books,  which l find much funnier (and also dirty).  I'm glad that l have read this, but would recommend some Tom Sharpe stuff instead of this if there had to be  a choice,  especially 'Riotous Assembly' and 'Indecent Exposure',  which deal with Apartheid in South Africa (they're a lot funnier than that sounds).  Don't let the TV series of 'Blot On The Landscape' put you off, the books are much better.

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einstein and little albert

There are a few wacky photographs of Einstein floating around, and some have been mass produced on posters or t shirts (like the ones below).  I like the one above though, taken in 1931, as it has the great man himself, playing with a dummy of little Albert.  I don't know who dressed or made the dummy, or where it is nowadays, but it looks like it is wearing a skirt.  Maybe Einstein is trying to drop us all a hint he was a cross dresser.  Then again - maybe not.

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take shelter (2011) - jeff nichols

I kind of enjoyed 'Take Shelter', but strangely, never felt that moved or involved with the characters, and didn't feel a lot of empathy towards them, but l couldn't say it was due to bad acting. Maybe it was the pace of the movie, or the script itself.  As l said, l can't really put my finger on why l felt unmoved, as it all appeared to be fine, but there was (to me) a lack of tension, and at the films end, l just kind of shrugged and got on with my day.
It stars Michael Shannon (the God fearing police officer in Boardwalk Empire) as Curtis LaForche, a husband who starts to have terrifying  apocalyptic visions, which make him prepare a shelter so he can save his family.  On the other hand, his mother had mental problems, and maybe it's the case that he is having them as well, and his wife Samantha (Jessica Chastain) and Hannah (his deaf daughter) need to be protected from him.  His family and friends doubt him, he acts crazy and he loses his job, but one day, the sirens start to wail, so the family head to the shelter to 'Take Shelter'.  Has he been proved right?  Is he a hero?  Watch and find out.

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the home made skeleton

As l have a lot of time on my hands, l had a go at making a paper skeleton (as you do).  I gave up halfway through, as it was looking nothing like the one in the black background photograph that l was striving towards, and l felt like smashing its grinning little face in.  No wonder l have never had the patience to learn guitar.  If you want to download the template and have a go yourself, head over to digitprop.com..

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l'm ahead of my time with handy hints

I've always known l was an ideas man who is ahead of my time! On a website with handy hints for the home (OK, l have too much time on my hands), l saw these.  Things l am already doing, although l use a vodka bottle for my pancake mixture (it's more rock and roll).  The FPO thinks l'm a sad git, but sites like this confirm that l have been right all along!  Methinks it's time for a re-appraisal in our household.

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hitler learns about jimmy savile

Is there no end to the ways the Hitler clip can be used?  Great stuff.

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