vicky cristina barcelona (2008) - woody allen

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a homage to both Barcelona, and Gaudi's architectural vision, featuring beautiful people, passion and romance, fantastic shots of the city itself (suspiciously clean and pick pocket free), and an assortment of poets, artists and writers (and rich people).  Who would make a film like this?
Two girl friends go to Barcelona for the summer.  One (Cristina/Scarlett Johansson) is a spontaneous romantic dreamer who is always looking for something different to experience, but unsure of what, thinking that will make her happy.  The other (Vicky/Rebecca Hall) is steady and pragmatic, is about to be married, and is in love.
They then meet Juan (Javier Bardem), a moody, intense, enigmatic painter (is there any other sort in these kind of films?) and both end up having an affair with him, despite his unstable ex wife (Maria/Penelope Cruz) moving back in with him (resulting in a menage a trois involving Cristina).
All well and good, but by the end, everyone ends up unfulfilled.
The painter and his ex wife love each other, but can't live together by themselves. Vicky falls for the painter, but then decides he is too crazy for her, so carries on with her marriage.  Cristina, the romantic searcher, once happiness and contentment is attained, gets bored and decides she wants something else, and moves on, still searching for something to satisfy her wanderlust   Even the old woman they have been staying with has an affair because she is bored.
An artificial portrait of life and romance, where no one is ugly or poor, the days are long and sun drenched, and there is always a local supremely talented musician to go and swoon to.  There is love in the long grass, accidental shootings, and spontaneous trips away by private aeroplanes.  It's got Woody Allen stamped all over it, and it is indeed, one of his.
I still enjoyed it, even if it did annoy me, as the characters and locations spoke nothing to me about my life (as Morrissey would say).

toodle pip

tubbs celebrating manchester united as champions

It's a bit out of focus, but here's Tubbs the idiot rabbit celebrating Manchester United as champions this evening.  There is no way at the end of last year that l thought United had a chance, so it's pretty sweet they have done it.

toodle pip

ashton kutcher in hampstead

Ashton Kutcher from Two and a half Men and  Punk'd has moved to Hampstead to be near his girlfriend Mila Kunis.  The Daily Mail have some photographs of him checking out the area by himself yesterday, obviously wanting to wander by himself, and, without irony, state how patient he is with fans who overstay their welcome or pester him.  While at the same time their photographer is following him everywhere, taking numerous photographs and no doubt shouting across to him to try and illicit a response.
Mind you, if l was a big USA star and wanted to go about incognito, l wouldn't wear a flash coat, leather gloves and a baseball cap.  But that's just me - l dress like a scumbag (because l am one)

toodel pip

thatchers funeral - the sun cover

While looking at some photographs of Margaret Thatcher's (milk snatcher's) funeral today (making sure the witch is still dead), l saw this Sun newspaper front cover, which l was drawn to for one reason.
I know and take the piss out of one of these featured fellows about football, as he is a Liverpool fan (but his wife still loves him). Therefore inside information about the funeral and all it's preparations are available from me at the right price and the usual address.
Not really (confidentiality and all that), but it's a small interlinked world.

toodle pip

fun with washing machines

People that know me, will know that l will avoid all hard manual labour at all costs.  Sadly, our washing machine has given up the ghost, and the verdict of the expert  l called out was - "It's fucked" (said within 5 seconds of him examining it, at a cost of £10 for callout).
Luckily Dazzer and Louise (brother and sister in law) had a spare machine in their garage, but this meant giving Dazzer a hand getting the old one out, bringing the new one in , and then taking the old one to the tip. Much lifting and shifting ensured, accompanied by my moaning and complaining.
However, when we arrived at the tip, it was closed on Wednesdays.  Seeing as this happened on Wednesday, it meant the old washing machine had to come back on the trailer, but much to my gratitude, Dazzer said he would take it to the tip himself the next day, as l was at work.  Hurrah!!
Unfortunately, the bastard fates conspired against me (as they usually do), because when l was driving home from work the next day, l changed my mind about the journey home, and decided to go through Tunstall.  Disastrous error on my part, as l had to pause to let a car through traffic, and it was only Dazzer heading to the tip, so l felt obliged to turn around, follow him, and give him a hand there.  Which l did.  Only now the trailer had lumps of turf in it as well, which resulted in me assisting in unloading it, and working much harder than l intended..
I feel faint just thinking about dirt and the labour involved.  Time for another soak in the bath to wash away the bad memories.
Manual work....Certainly overrated in my book.

toodle pip

shaven headed research by albert mannes

I'm interested in Psychology (everybody should be), and there was some research done last year, ( 'Shorn scalps and the perception of male dominance' )  at the University of  Pennsylvania, Philadelphia by Albert Mannes, PHD.
The abstract reading (from Sage Journals) states

Three studies contribute to the literature on dominance and nonverbal behavior (Ellyson & Dovidio, 1985) by examining how a man’s choice to shave his head influences person perception. In Study 1, men with shaved heads were rated as more dominant than similar men with full heads of hair. In Study 2, men whose hair was digitally removed were perceived as more dominant, taller, and stronger than their authentic selves. Study 3 extends these results with nonphotographic stimuli and demonstrates how men experiencing natural hair loss may improve their interpersonal standing by shaving. Theories of signaling, norm violation, and stereotypes are examined as explanations for the effect. Practical implications for men’s psychological, social, and economic outlooks are also discussed.

Basically, people will think you are more powerful, a leader and, as an added bonus, stronger.

Now call me an old cynic (not for the first time), but l have a sneaking feeling that Albert Mannes is using money to pursue his own specific interests, and the findings of the survey may well benefit him more than most.
My evidence?
I present a photograph of non other than Albert Mannes himself.

Thank you very much - l'll get my own coat.

toodle pip

luis suarez at it again

Watching Liverpool's Luis Suarez trying to take a bite out of Chelsea's Branislav Ivanovic earlier this evening was one of those football related moments that will be talked about for years, much like the Eric Cantona kung fu kick at Selhurst Park in 1995.
I'm biased (Nooooo!!!) because l support Manchester United, but I can't stand Suarez.  As far as l am concerned, he is a cheating rat faced racist bastard and 100% unlikeable.  I'll admit he is a great footballer, but there is no way l would want him at United, especially after the incidents with Patrice Evra (no angel himself).
As for this evenings bite, he has previous in this department (when he was at Ajax), and if l was to be bitten, he is the last person l would want to do it.  With his teeth, he could eat an apple through a tennis racket and pierce cans without a tin opener.  Something l would pay to see.
No doubt he will apologise ('sincerely'), Liverpool will then fine him and say it has been dealt with internally (fnaar), and he will then expect a ban from the FA, possibly to the end of the season.
l can't see Liverpool getting rid of him, and they will probably release a statement stating that he realises he was wrong, and is working on his issues.  Expect some favourable press soon about his community or charity work, as they try to spin out some spurious reasons to keep him.
At the end of the day (Brian), he is just too valuable an asset for Liverpool to dispense of, much as Cantona was for United.  Cantona did however, change into a well respected elder player.  I can't envisage Suarez doing the same.
On a side note, listening to Graham Souness on Sky Sports pontificating about what a disgrace Suarez was to football was hilarious.  Souness was one of the dirtiest and nastiest players around, and would think nothing about cheating, kicking and stamping on opponents.  The two faced hypocritical twat (and he is a crap football analyst).  Mind you, l wouldn't say that to his face - my one has just recovered from it's last mishap.  I don't need more injuries.

toodle pip

planet of the knobheads

By God, l hope this is a real book.

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the cardiff city promotion and tiger comic from 1972

Whilst scanning some comics for another blog (OK - l admit l am sad), l saw this picture of Cardiff City in an old Tiger comic from 1972.  They have just been promoted to the football premiership this week for the first time in about 50 years, which must be real 'Roy of the Rovers' stuff for Craig Bellamy, who went back to Cardiff to play for his old boyhood club, who he used to watch with his father, and who he has just helped gain promotion (the club, not his father).
The thing that sours it, is, as you can notice in the photograph, they are known as 'The Bluebirds' and play in a blue kit.
That is, until they were taken over recently by Malaysian billionaires, who then changed the kit to red, and bugger the team (or community that support the team's) tradition.  Luckily for them, the team have done excellently since then, but that is not the point.
Money doesn't talk, it corrupts and steamrolls everybody's principles, and leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
Then again, having no money at all is even worse.
At least now they will be amongst other teams with the same kind of ownerships and disregard for the fans, and l should know, l support Manchester United.
The modern commercialisation of football is shit.

toodle pip

harrison ford won't answer questions about star wars

I have never been a fan of Star Wars, and can't see what all of the fuss is about.  I guess you had to be a certain age or something and by the time it came out, l had moved on from most sci fi films of that type, preferring stuff like '2001 - A Space Odyssey'.
However, Harrison Ford used to be pretty good back in the day, and he remembers what it is to act on The Jimmy Kimmel show, where he refuses to take Star Wars questions.
Thankfully, you don't have to be a fan of the movies to enjoy this.

toodle pip

the american national anthem at boston before the ice hockey

This is the American National Anthem (Star Spangled Banner) before the first game of Ice Hockey played in Boston after the Boston Marathon bombings, between Boston Bruins and  Buffalo Sabres.  The 8 year old that died in the blast was supposedly a Boston Bruins fan.
It's easy to take the piss out of the USA, as it can be so insular, bigoted, narrow minded and optimistic, and waaaaaay too religious for my liking, plus places like Boston gave plenty of money to the IRA  when the troubles were on (which l did not agree with), but their patriotism is also to be commended, and at least when you get into America as an immigrant, you are adopted as an 'Italian American/Greek American/Irish American' or whatever.  The singing of The National Anthem helps forge the bond and encourages all the citizens to believe that wherever they (or their families) originated from, they are all Americans now (The land of the free).  This helps because the Anthem is about the country, unlike the UK one, which gives praise to our rulers (God Save The Queen), which l also don't agree with. There is also the belief by the general populace in America that anybody can become president if they work hard enough, but that is obviously crap of the highest order.
Anyway, the crowd take over the singing, and it is all pretty emotional.
Watch, listen, and rub that itch in your eye.

And as for the UK, here's The Sex Pistols.



toodle pip

the kfc map of london

My favourite map of London, given away free in KFC.  It looks good, it's easy to follow, and more importantly, it has all the KFC outlets at the time. Result!
I think l got it in 1978 when l was sleeping rough in London for a couple of days before heading to Reading Festival.
I might try and find a larger pristine copy and have it framed (even more crap to fill the house with).

toodle pip

hey kids - don't do meths

I'm sure l have posted some of these mugshots before, but who knows, with the drugs l have done, my memory has gone.  At least l never got into meths, though l looked worse than this lot last Friday night.

toodle pip

bill glover and the local elections

As the local elections are coming up soon, we have been getting leaflets through the old letterbox from the various candidates, including this one from Bill Glover.
I have seen Bill out and about over the years, and say hello when l do see him, but was surprised that l knew so many people in his pamphlet photographs (including some of the in laws).  Bill might also be a fine upstanding gentleman, and have the communities best interests at heart, including the protesting about Green Field development, which l agree with.
On the other hand....
He is a Conservative, who stand for all l hate about politics, and who l would not touch with a pooey stick (unless violently). They look after the rich, are self serving, and will try anything underhand if need be to get into power.
Which brings me to my second point.
The leaflet makes a huge thing about his local involvement with real people, and puts across how normal he is.
It also avoids mentioning that he is a Conservative anywhere in the main 4 pages, and to find out that he is, you have to open the leaflet up fully to check out the inside, which is something that a lot of the public will not do.  I would not normally have done so myself, but l was curious in case there was any more photographs of people l knew. That is something that has obviously been planned in advance, probably with the hope that the casual uneducated, half interested, or blase reader would not link him with the much maligned Government, and maybe vote for him at the elections, as he comes across as a nice caring guy, and 'one of us'.  Richmond is such a safe Tory haven, that he would probably have walked it anyway.  There's a reason William Hague loves it here (apart from living in the mansion that is Brough Hall)
Politicians - most of them are a bunch of sneaky bastards not to be trusted, and they treat us like fucking idiots, so be careful where your vote goes.

toodle pip

a great advert for alcoholics

What a great idea for home drink delivery.  Of course it may be classed as distasteful (after all, alcoholism is an illness), but l find it funny.

toodle pip

the rolling stones - start me up shred

And another shred - The Rolling Stones - Start me Up.
That's it, I've got to get ready for work




Edit - this has been blocked, but you can see it here.  Trust me - it's worth it!

toodle pip

radiohead and dire straits shreds

My attention has recently been drawn to some music video shreds (here and here), and l am now cursing, as there is something else on the internet l can waste endless hours watching.

The first shred is 'Weird Fishes' by Radiohead, and it can easily be mistaken for one of their more 'out there' experimental sound collages of recent times.  If this was released officially by Radiohead, l'm sure there would be numerous fans and music critics declaring it to be a work of outstanding genius, and the naysayers who dismiss it ignorant buffoons.



As for the Dire Straits shred of Sultans of Swing, that is just out and out funny.



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celebrities who are the same age

All of the above celebs are the same age, but some certainly look a lot better than others.
For their names and more pictures, go here.

toodle pip

kosmo vinyl on the danny baker show

Danny Baker and Kosmo

I've been pottering about, listening to some podcasts of The Danny Baker Show while l have been off healing my wounds over the weekend, and one of them featured the raconteuring delight that is Kosmo Vinyl. Kosmo was a bit of a mover and a shaker back in the late 1970's and early 1980's, but is probably best known for his involvement with Ian Dury and The Clash, and he can be heard introducing The Clash on the 'Live At Shea' album.
He has always been a man of ideas, and one of his recent ones is producing impressionistic artwork to represent the latest West Ham United game after it had just finished (he is an Iron).  A fantastic and original  idea, which l was kicking myself for not thinking up first.
Some of the artwork l can take or leave, but it deserves a viewing, just for the initial idea.
One of a kind.

toodle pip