killing time at the kings head in masham

It's not exactly been a very taxing day at work today.  Once again I had time to kill in Masham, so l went to The Kings Head hotel for a drink.  The photograph at the top shows how busy it was and how the non existent barmaid was (not) rushed off her feet.  Mind you, it was only 11.40am, so l couldn't really expect it to be heaving with local pissheads (apart from me).  I had so much time on my hands, that l discovered (after much fiddling - phnaar) there is a drawing device on my phone, so l drew a cartoon face with my thumbnail.  Impressive stuff, l'm sure you will agree.
Still, l was getting paid for it, so technically, that makes me an artist (sort of).

toodle pip

the new evil dead trailer

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo looking forward to this film.  Evil Dead is one of my favourite films, even if the effects are rubbish and it has really dated.  I just hope the new version isn't a let down (or there will be trouble!)

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aston villa programmes - 61 seasons worth

This collection of Aston Villa programmes is for sale on Ebay now, and it consists of 61 seasons worth.  Now if that was a collection of Manchester United ones stretching back that far, my fingers would be red raw from placing bids. As it is, l still wouldn't mind these myself.  I have nothing but respect for the bloke (it's got to be a bloke) who collected them.

toodle pip

smokey robinson and the miracles - the tears of a clown

I heard this on the radio in the kitchen while l was downstairs making myself a cup of Oxo (yummy).
Smokey Robinson and The Miracles - Tears of a Clown
Has there ever been a song that is so joyous, with such sad lyrics?


Answers on a postcard please.

toodle pip

Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights (1992) - peter kosminsky

Wuthering Heights is a book l have never got around to reading, and as l had not seen any other films of the book, l came to this with only a very vague idea of what it was about, most of which l had gleaned from various sources over the years, (but mainly from the Kate Bush song). Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights (to give it its full title) stars Ralph Fiennes (Heathcliff) and Juliett Binoche (Cathy) as the two lovers pulled apart by their upbringing.  Heathcliff is a young scamp who had been rescued from Liverpool and taken into the Earnshaw  household, where he meets and falls in love with Cathy. Sadly for him, as she is pulled further away from him as he gets older, he grows steadily embittered. When he overhears her say she is to marry another (Edgar Linton), he takes off, only to return years later, stinking rich, and out to exact revenge on all who he feels betrayed him (including the children).  There's some great shots of the moors, and Fiennes is strikingly good looking and moody (great eyes!), but much as l like Binoche in other movies ('3 Colours Blue','The English Patient'), her portrayal of Cathy just irritated me for most of the film, and l didn't find her likeable at all (which kind of spoiled it). Maybe it is aimed more for the laydeees (but in which case l should have liked it more).  Look out for a brief appearance by Sinead O'Connor at the end as Emily Brontë herself.  I now consider myself an expert on the book (although l still haven't read it).



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the last post

One of these days, either myself or the FPO will end up here.

Then the world will be a whole new experience (but l can't see it happening for  a long, long time)

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chocolate from joes

As they say in the 'Airplane!' film,  I've picked a fine day to give up chocolate.  I called round to Joes earlier  this evening as his leg/knee was playing up, and he may have to go back into hospital.  He is seeing how he gets on in the next couple of days, but before l headed back home, l was presented with a box of goodies that contained a mixture of chocolates from Cadbury's.  Joe gets them free for some reason (maybe because he owned/owns shares?) but doesn't eat the stuff, so the FPO was happy, and l attacked the Liquorice Allsorts watching United pull back a 0-2 deficit to win 3-2 against Braga.  What a pleasant evening.  Now l'll have to find a place to hide the rest of the chocs or we will be sitting and stuffing our faces every night.

toodle pip

marijuana - the devils harvest

It's fortunate that l have never been bothered about smoking this (unless in Amsterdam, where it is compulsory), as it doesn't look too healthy for you.
If you are ever in doubt, just ask yourself 'what would Keith do'?
Stick to class 'A's is what l say (although l am a good boy now).


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elizabeth taylor giving it some glamour

There's a new book out about Elizabeth Taylor, that has lots of 'revelations' about her love life.  I'm not going to publicise it by naming it, as l don't believe half of what has been written, and the information has been sourced from people who are now (conveniently) dead.  I don't know how Taylor managed to find any time to act with all of the shagging she was up to, and that also goes for her husbands, as they were not just with her, but were bisexual and at it with other males as well (according to the book).  Sex sells, and the book (fiction?)  will get a lot of publicity, but l would like to have seen them try and put it out while Taylor was still alive.
Anyway, the reason for the post is the accompanying picture that was used in The Daily Mirror review of it.  That's how film stars should present themselves - looking their best at all times, glamourous, unreachable, and way too good for us peasants (or civilians as we are known).
As for todays stars?  Pah!
Amateurs!

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andre muniz gonzagadalata's rock painting

Andre Muniz Gonzanga is a Brazilian artist who has been painting rocks, to amusing effect.  It's a great idea, and probably not original  (I can't be bothered looking for older examples), but they still look great, and pretty humorous (as well as somewhat disturbing).  His flickr stream is here, where there are lots more, including larger scale artworks on cars and houses, but l think the smaller scale stuff on rocks are more striking in their own way.
Now l'm off to dig out the old paints for a bit of landscape adjustment around our way (not for the first time).

toodle pip

venom halloween make up

Venom is one of the best comic creation of the last few years, and this makeup featuring the Venom face looks pretty good and would be ideal for Halloween.  You'll just have to hope it doesn't become part of you and unable to get off afterwards.

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the birth of galactus

I am off work today, so had a lazy morning reading the top two comics before dragging myself out of my pit to doss about.  They  are 'The Origin of Galactus' and The Fantastic Four story 'The Trial Of Reed Richards', and both (you may have guessed) concern 'Galactus'.  They approach his origin from different angles, and in the FF comic his morality is also bought into question (top philosophical musings ahoy!).  I am just a sucker for some of the old Marvel comics stuff, and consider people such as Stan Lee and Jack Kirby Gods amongst us mere mortals (a bit like Odin or Galactus himself).  Looks like l might be reading the (Mighty) Thor story 'Galactus a Borning' (issue #162 fact fans) tomorrow morning.  When l get round to it, l'll  post up all the scans here.  Enjoy!

toodle pip

candy - terry southern and mason hoffenberg

I bought this book second hand as l saw it was written by Terry Southern,  who l know from such films as 'The Magic Christian' (starring Ringo), 'Easy Rider', and 'Dr Strangelove').   He has a satirical piss taking style that l like and can identify with,  and 'Candy' was also advertised on the cover as being banned upon it's release in 1958 (so of course l had to give it a go and read it).   Southern wrote it under the name of 'Maxwell Fenton', and there were sex scenes a plenty,   but to these jaded and unshockable eyes,  it wasn't that outrageous.   Supposedly based on Voltaire's 'Candide' (one of my favourite books),  Candy Christian is 18 year old,  sexy,  innocent and naive,  who is repeatedly taken advantage of (mainly in sexual ways),  by just about everybody that she comes into contact with.  She on the other hand,  always sees the good side of everything and deludes herself concerning their motives towards her.  It's comedic and would have pushed boundaries back in the 1950's,  but l don't consider it any worse than some of Tom Sharpe's books,  which l find much funnier (and also dirty).  I'm glad that l have read this, but would recommend some Tom Sharpe stuff instead of this if there had to be  a choice,  especially 'Riotous Assembly' and 'Indecent Exposure',  which deal with Apartheid in South Africa (they're a lot funnier than that sounds).  Don't let the TV series of 'Blot On The Landscape' put you off, the books are much better.

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einstein and little albert

There are a few wacky photographs of Einstein floating around, and some have been mass produced on posters or t shirts (like the ones below).  I like the one above though, taken in 1931, as it has the great man himself, playing with a dummy of little Albert.  I don't know who dressed or made the dummy, or where it is nowadays, but it looks like it is wearing a skirt.  Maybe Einstein is trying to drop us all a hint he was a cross dresser.  Then again - maybe not.

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take shelter (2011) - jeff nichols

I kind of enjoyed 'Take Shelter', but strangely, never felt that moved or involved with the characters, and didn't feel a lot of empathy towards them, but l couldn't say it was due to bad acting. Maybe it was the pace of the movie, or the script itself.  As l said, l can't really put my finger on why l felt unmoved, as it all appeared to be fine, but there was (to me) a lack of tension, and at the films end, l just kind of shrugged and got on with my day.
It stars Michael Shannon (the God fearing police officer in Boardwalk Empire) as Curtis LaForche, a husband who starts to have terrifying  apocalyptic visions, which make him prepare a shelter so he can save his family.  On the other hand, his mother had mental problems, and maybe it's the case that he is having them as well, and his wife Samantha (Jessica Chastain) and Hannah (his deaf daughter) need to be protected from him.  His family and friends doubt him, he acts crazy and he loses his job, but one day, the sirens start to wail, so the family head to the shelter to 'Take Shelter'.  Has he been proved right?  Is he a hero?  Watch and find out.

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the home made skeleton

As l have a lot of time on my hands, l had a go at making a paper skeleton (as you do).  I gave up halfway through, as it was looking nothing like the one in the black background photograph that l was striving towards, and l felt like smashing its grinning little face in.  No wonder l have never had the patience to learn guitar.  If you want to download the template and have a go yourself, head over to digitprop.com..

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l'm ahead of my time with handy hints

I've always known l was an ideas man who is ahead of my time! On a website with handy hints for the home (OK, l have too much time on my hands), l saw these.  Things l am already doing, although l use a vodka bottle for my pancake mixture (it's more rock and roll).  The FPO thinks l'm a sad git, but sites like this confirm that l have been right all along!  Methinks it's time for a re-appraisal in our household.

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hitler learns about jimmy savile

Is there no end to the ways the Hitler clip can be used?  Great stuff.

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wilbur wants to kill himself and circle of eight

Two films that l tried to watch today, but gave up on.  Wilbur is trying to kill himself, but his brother keeps saving him.  He then meets a girl in the bookshop they own, and.... by then l couldn't care less, and wished he had managed an early death, to put us both out of our misery. Based in Scotland, the characters aren't likeable or interesting, and it just stank of dreariness.

As for Circle of Eight, a woman moves into an 'artistic' apartment, which is inhabited by weird, wacky, cool and sexy inhabitants, who soon make themselves known to her.  She hooks up with one of them, but then strange things start to happen.....The consequences of which, l have no idea, as non of it was convincing, most of the characters were two dimensional and annoying, and l was hoping they would all be killed by the end, but there was no way l was going to stick around for another hour to find out if they would make my wish come true.  I did switch over with my fingers crossed, just in case, and full of hope.

Who commissions, makes, and knocks out this crap?  Haven't they got eyes, ears or a brain?
Bastards!

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hell bent for leather - seb hunter

I picked up 'Hell Bent For Leather' in the local Oxfam shop last saturday, and it was an enjoyable enough read, as a lot of the bands that are referenced in the book, l know from when l was into Metal/Rock (a lot more than l am now).  This is the story of Seb(astian) Hunter, who discovers music (AC/DC) and guitars, plays in bands around Winchester, and then leaves for the bright lights of London to make it big, and have all of his rock and roll dreams come true. It doesn't happen of course, and he eventually becomes an author, but along his individual path of knowledge there are treaties on guitars, band logos, metal bands and how to look cool while playing in metal bands.  That is, until Glam Rock (the 1980's version) comes along and he is swept up with the Dogs D'Amour look and attitude, until Nirvana and Indie come along to kill the scene and force him to reconsider his musical outlook.  I don't agree with some of his views on bands (Deep Purple and Status Quo used to be great in my eyes), but l enjoyed most of the book, as it was pretty self deprecating, and mostly spot on.  Memories of staying in squats, bumming about, and drinking in 'The Intrepid Fox' (when it was in Soho) and 'The Hellfire Club' were stirred, as l used to go to them myself, and many a mad night was had in them (Oh Yes!).  There was no mention of 'The Spice Of Life', which was also pretty popular around the time frame he is referencing, but l'll forgive him that.  For those of us that were in bands, wearing hats and bangles, dreaming of stardom, and loving Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, The Rolling Stones etc, parts of this rang way too true and close to the bone. I even met the FPO when l was into Hanoi Rocks and wearing a hat with a scarf around it. The only trouble now, is she can still fit into my old tour t shirts.  My father was also a sarcastic alcoholic (now dead), but in the school of hard knocks l inhabited, there were no guitars or pianos around the house, no trips to buy guitars, and certainly no rides to concerts or offers to manage the band. Despite all of this, it was purely my lack of talent that prevented me being a star, no matter where l came from. Still, better to try and fail than not bother and regret it later (he says bitterly).

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jimmy savile's flat up for sale

It looks as though Jimmy Savile's penthouse flat overlooking Roundhay Park in Leeds is up for sale.  A snip at £325,000, although it needs some work doing to it, and l bet there will be a few stains that will be hard to shift.  If you are interested in seeing more photographs of it (or making an offer), go here.

toodle pip

the rained off football game

I switched on the TV last night to catch the end of the Poland v England game, only to find it had been postponed because of a waterlogged pitch in Warsaw.
Now l may well be an idiot, and there might be an easy explanation for this, but why didn't they close the roof of the stadium if they were expecting so much rain?  Otherwise, what's the point?
You know who l blame?  The foreign betting syndicates for it not closing, and God himself for the downpour.  Maybe he just didn't fancy England's chances on the night (It's been re-arranged for this afternoon).
Maybe it's true.  God is an Englishman (or doesn't like football)!

toodle pip