allans anti-fat

Smarten up this advert for the modern magazines, and l bet loads of women (and some men) would still buy crap like this. Times haven't changed that much.
Lose two to five pounds a week?  Pah!  Eat a bit less or do more exercise, it's pretty bleeding simple. Either make the effort or don't bother, but don't be wasting money on crap like this (or the modern day equivalent).
I bet Allan made a fortune.

toodle pip

so close to a dream come true

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Three ladies in the bed ?
Hurrah!!!
Only.....hold on a minute..............who the hell is that with the glasses?
That just looks wrong - time to make the excuses and leave, cursing under my breath and slamming the door in disappointment on the way out.









Who am l kidding? Of course l'd still stay, l'm a bloke (in the loosest possible sense). The only difference is they'd be the ones slamming the door in disappointment on the way out.

toodle pip

if jupiter was the same distance from the earth as the moon

It would look like this (if it wasn't still pissing down) and be very cool (looking wise - not weather wise).  Though l hate to think about what the tides would be like when l go swimming.

toodle pip

the monkees and jimi hendrix

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1967, The Jimi Hendrix Experience were opening shows for The Monkees on a tour of the USA, and not going down too well in front of The Monkees young audience. I'm a fan of both bands, and it's one of the concerts l would like to have been witness to, but (for a change) l'm far too young (and l was in Singapore at the time).
However, l would rather have been hanging out backstage with the bands (and the ladies), as shown in this photograph taken by Micky Dolenz and put up on his Facebook page. Ahh, they were the days (my friends).

toodle pip

the mc5 and keith chegwin

My admiration and love for the rather wonderful MC5 is second to none, and here is a rare concert from the German TV programme Beat Club in 1972. It's a shame they where never that succesful, but my reasoning for this is that (much as l love him), Rob Tyner (the singer) looks like Keith Chegwin nowadays, but with a fright wig/afro on his ample bonce. Now l don't mind Cheggers, and he was very nice to someone l knew a while back (and, like me, he's from Bootle). He is not however, trying to front a band at the moment (although l'm sure he would do so if he got the right offer). Everyone knows the rule about singers - the fans have got to want to be them, or have sex with them. Rather sadly for Rob, even though l'm sure he would have got plenty of offers of sex (and drugs) because he was in a cool band, on a larger scale, he is not going to appeal to lots of the ladies out there, and blokes would rather be someone else (Heeeeeeeeeeellllllllloooo, Keith). It happens all the time with bands, but let's face it, they are in a popularity game, and the looks play a huge part in it. The flip side of this is pretty boy/girl bands who are popular due to their looks and marketing, but their records are shite.

If you don't believe Rob looks like Cheggers - check out his showreel and imagine him covered in sweat, with a tan and the wig. Oooooooohhhh.....sexy!

And don't forget......

Kick out the Jams motherfuckers!!!!!





toodle pip

driver's paltry road rage fine

This motorist (Scott Lomas) tried to knock a cyclist (Martin Porter) off his bike, and admitted he was trying to kill him when confronted.  Luckily Porter caught it all on his helmet camera, and the driver has been taken to court and fined. But only fined £250, which to me, as a sometimes cyclist, is a load of crap. If he had actually hit Porter and sent him flying, there is a possibility he could have killed or seriously injured him. He would also be the sort of person who would drive like this on a regular basis, but because there is no evidence, gets away with it. Don't get me wrong, l have broken the law many times when l have been driving, and if caught, l expect to be harshly punished. £250 is bugger all, and acts as no deterrent to anybody. Bloody horses in the road get on my nerves, and it drives me mad having to slow down and be careful to pass them, but l haven't started beeping my car horn and driving into them (yet). If it will only cost me £250, l might re-consider my options. Saying that, the judge (or magistrate) probably does not like cyclists himself (I assume it's a man), but would punish me more for upsetting the horse riding community of (mainly) posh bastards that will be part of his social set. Purely a speculation you understand, and we may indeed find out more in the near future.
The video and more information is here.

toodle pip

deadeye dick and look at the birdie - kurt vonnegut

Another one of the great Kurt Vonnegut's  book ticked off!  I've been loving them all, and 'Deadeye Dick' is no exception.
A 12 year old boy commits murder, his family are dysfunctional, there's some real history thrown in, and it gallops along at a cracking pace.
It's also about perception, isolation, guilt and and society, which makes it sound dull, but it's certainly not that.
Highly recommended (as most of his stuff is)

Look at the Birdie is a collection of  his unpublished short stories - also excellent. He sure knows how to grip a reader straight away, and then develop the story very quickly, wanting you to know more with every sentence. My favourite story was probably the one about the singing teacher who gets stalked by a pupil, as l really wasn't expecting the ending. I had lots of scenarios in my head, but he completely threw me on the last couple of pages. Bloody smartie pants.

toodle pip

andy murray beaten in the final

So, Andy Murray got beaten in todays Wimbledon 2012 final by Roger Federer.

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa

Great stuff!!
I'm not particularly proud to be English, but the thought of some Scotsman who always wants England to be beaten at football (nothing wrong with that), becoming the first Brit to win at Wimbledon since my dear old dad was a lad, gets my gander up. I don't mind him wanting England to lose, but why English people should support him beats me. I never really thought he had a chance, but even him getting to the final riles me.
Anyway, if l'd have started playing tennis at an earlier age and had access to courts on which to practise, l'd have been champion by now (not that l'm bitter or anything).

toodle pip

insomnia (2002) - christopher nolan

A couple of LA cops are sent to Alaska to solve the murder of a 17 year old schoolgirl. Along the way, Will Dormar, the senior cop who is under investigation in LA (Al Pacino), manages to shoot his younger partner while chasing Water Finch, the suspected killer (Robin Williams). Dormar can't sleep due to the perpetual sunlight (hence the 'Insomnia' title), he then gets involved with the killer, and he also tries to cover up the shooting (which Finch had seen). Ellie Burr (Hilary Swank), a younger Alaskan copper who worships Dormar, has to investigate the shooting, and starts getting suspicious about what took place.
The film was alright l suppose, Pacino and Williams were both good, but there were parts of the plot that just seemed unbelievable, mainly in the way Dormar behaved, sleep deprivation or not. Not one of Pacino's best, but the scenery looked fantastically mind blowing when they were flying to Alaska.

toodle pip

leon keer 3d pacman

A marvellous looking 3D Pacman artwork by Leon Keer in Venlo, The Netherlands. These things never cease to amaze me.

toodle pip

ethyl fuel adverts and salvador dali

I've said it before and l'll say it again. I love Salvador Dali stuff, and he is the first one that really got me into liking pictures that could be looked at in more than one way (I was already into surrealist comedy). I also like old stuff and adverts, so these Ethyl gasoline ones hit the spot for me.

Years ago, l went by inter rail around Europe, and one of the areas l went to was around Figueres, Spain, where Dali's museum is. I also called at Dali's house in Port Lligat, (near Cadaques), but no-one answered when l went a knocking, although he was living there and still very much alive at the time. It was probably my hopeful knocking that sent Gala (Dali's wife) completely demented and into her grave. Anyhows, what a place - eggs on the roof and right next to the sea. I could easily live there in my dotage, if it wasn't for the bloody annoying tourists, mooching around and trying to get an invitation inside the house, which of course, was exactly what l was trying to do was when l swung by. We won't be seeing his like again for a long long time. The Dali picture above (The Metamorphosis of Narcissus from 1937) l have had for years (sadly not the original), and it is framed by the top of our stairs. Sheer brilliance.

toodle pip

keeping the mixing old school

This is how they used to do the mixing back in the day. It shows that hardly anything is new, and most ideas have been tried before. It's a Gaumont Chronophone system, and dates back to 1910.
No, l didn't have one when l was younger. I know it's hard to believe, but even l'm not that old.

toodle pip

bloody english summers

The view out of my back window at this afternoon, in the middle of what us English laughingly call a 'summer'.
Still,  l've got work at 3pm - life couldn't be any sweeter.

toodle pip

jeremiah mcdonald talks to his 12 year old self

Jeremiah McDonald was filmed in 1992 when he was 12, supposedly talking to his future self. He has now completed the circle by making a film of himself talking to his younger version. He did one a while ago, but this is the updated and much superior one to watch. The comedic timing in this one is pretty good, so l will ignore the various short film clips at the beginning of him growing up that would normally want to hate some precocious actor child like him.

toodle pip

and thinking about fireworks....

This compilation never fails to amuse.
There are a lot of fucking idiots out there.

toodle pip

san diego fireworks go off all at once

Here's a couple of videos of the firework display at San Diego, that went (to put it mildly) slightly wrong.
All of the fireworks were accidentally set off at the same time, resulting in an outrageously spectacular display, but sadly only lasting for 30 seconds or so.
Myself, l would rather see a display like this. It's certainly unforgettable, and the unplanned part would have made it even more memorable. Much better than an everyday run of the mill display.
It's like a firework version of the old 'live fast - die young' motto, or 'burn like a super nova - and then fade away'.
I may have made the last one up.

toodle pip

markus mueller sexy tshirts

What a fantastic couple of photographs by Markus Mueller to advertise a company called 'Das Handwerk'.
He took the original pictures of the girls, put them on the shirts, then took these pictures.
Genius!
I'll have to get my hands on some of them to make my brothers arse more appealing when he comes to stay in August.

toodle pip

the young lions (1958) - edward dmytryk

The Young Lions has certainly got some top names in it. Marlon Brando! Montgomery Clift!  Dean Martin!
It's anti war, shows that the Germans (Brando) weren't all bad, the USA army could bully their own troops for being a Jew (Clift), and some people just want to avoid war and have a good time. but can be dragged into it whether they like it or not (Martin).
War! Urgh!! What is it good for?
Dated, but excellent, and all three lead characters shine (even if it was a bit too long).

toodle pip

an exciting medical life in photographs

It's not all trips abroad and lots of time off you know. Sometimes it's hanging around at medical establishments waiting for appointments or courses.
Someone's got to put the hours in, and it makes a change from the usual routine.

toodle pip

fox attacking a bird

While working yesterday, l managed to get a great photograph of a fox (with huge knackers) leaping off a house to attack a bird, which l caught by accident as l was going to take a picture of the torrential rain (it's non stop work when l'm in).
The bird escaped, but that is not really surprising, as the 'so called' fox is actually a slug that was on the window. It just so happens that when l took the photo, it was at that angle, and a bird flew past at the same time.
Looks good though.

toodle pip

the official batman batbook and the tv series

While l have been off work today l have had a bash at sorting out the spare room, and getting rid of some of the old bits of crap. This took bleeding ages and it is still in need of more sorting out, but the stuff l uncovered while in there made it all worthwhile in the end (well, some of it anyway). Old remote controls and phones have turned up, plus plenty of old books, cds etc. This rediscovery was a corker. The official Batbook (Batman guide) by Joel Eisner. These are some of the pages from when Batman was proper old school, non of this new fangled 'Dark Night' nonsense. Batman (the TV series) is often accused of being pretty camp or even gay (can't disagree with that), but it looks like Robin's thoughts are pretty hetrosexual in one of the pages above. Dirty little crimefighter.
OK, l've crumbled. I like the Dark Night stuff as well, but to me, Batman and Robin will always be Adam West and Burt Ward. Sod the bad costumes, acting and sound effects - bring them on! - Embrace it!  Lose yourself in it!  If you don't take any of it seriously, and go with the campness (easy for me to do), it's great.


toodle pip

the size of the man made stuff in space

This is pretty interesting to a geek like me. It's a drawing of the relative sizes of all the man made space stuff that has floated about at one time or another, by the astronomy blogger 'Invader Xan' (what a great geeky name). If l didn't have to go to work, l could spend hours reading stuff like his blog.

toodle pip

deus - quatre mains and their latest news

dEUS are a band l have loved since 'Worst Case Scenario', waaaaay  back in the day, and l have just been listening to their new cd ''Following Sea' this afternoon (on my return from my solemn re-emergence to work  after a week or so off). The stand out track that l can't get enough of at the moment is 'Quatre Mains', hence the video above.
Their website is here, there's a good short interview with Tom Barman  (the singer) in The Guardian here, and the album is available on iTunes here.
They're a top band, and certainly different from most.
Now, want to hear my tale about the time myself and Robbo were annoying and singing to them backstage at 'The Riverside', Newcastle?
It may appear at some stage, so be warned.

toodle pip

hugh cornwell and glen matlock tour poster

Hugh Cornwell (ex The Stranglers) and Glen Matlock (ex The Sex Pistols) are doing some dates together, and this tour poster to promote them is an excellent play upon the old boxing posters. A very good idea indeed, simple and obvious (once you've seen it) like most of the best ideas are.
Punks not dead!

toodle pip.

the 10 commandments of bowieism

Good rules to live your life by. The rules of Bowie.

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carrots on a stick

Times used to be tough back in the day. Carrots on a stick. Mmmmmmmmmm

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