the scheme (tv series)

This is just the sort of programme l love and hate. A documentary following six families on a council estate (scheme) in Kilmarnock.

It highlights what little chance the kids have got from an early age, as all they want to do is get drunk and take drugs (and reproduce at an early age).

I've only seen the first episode so far, so l don't know how the series will pan out, but l imagine a lot more jail sentences, fights and drug taking, with most of the youngsters acting tough and not being interested in anything else apart from TV.

"There's nothing to do except get wasted" says one of them. What about reading a book, walking by the sea, or listening to music for a starter?

Sadly, the (lack of) education and backing they have had will see to the fact most of them will have no aspirations or hope, and they will probably stay one the dole for quite some time, if not forever.

I know the kids are lucky to be born in an area where they will still have a roof over their head and be fed, albeit at the taxpayers expense, but they are still deprived of so many opportunities.

If they had been born to a middle class family down south somewhere, most of them would be going to college or university instead of jail.

Not all of them would do of course, and the estate will have some examples of residents who have done well legally, either through the education route or with their jobs, but the majority are doomed at birth.

Sadly, this is also the kind of show that will have David Cameron and The Daily Mail fuming about scroungers on benefits who can afford to drink and have clothes and TVs.

It's on BBC 1 on Tuesday nights (or the i player).

toodle pip

shelves and mini books

I can't remember the name of this chap (and l certainly can't be bothered looking), but he collects mini books and keeps them all in special shelves.

I used to like mini books when l was a nipper, and l am sure you could get some from a machine in Bootle by the four banks roundabout, but l might be cracking up.

Anywhoos, l don't know whether to applaud this fellow or remember how sad he is, as l could so easily go down his anal path of geekdom and nerdness (ooeer missus)

toodle pip

the real nick clegg is released

I know this is old, but it's still funny

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cameron and clegg get a surprise at an nhs photo op

More people should get stuck in like this, they didn't half look shocked when they got interrupted.

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marco paolini, the cremonese match fixer with hallucinogenic drugs

So, there's another match fixing scandal in Italy.

Yawn.

Or so you would think.

Marco Paolini, who played for the Italian third division side Cremonese (and looks like Dermot O'Leary), tried to fix a match so his team would lose, as he had a load of pressing debts which needed paying (those gambling bets need to be paid pretty damn sharpish in Italy, comprende?). The team were playing well, so old Marco me lad decides to pay a visit to his Dentist, where he was prescribed a hallucinogenic drug used for insomnia and anxiety (don't ask me how he managed to be given the drug by his dentist, although l would imagine money may have been involved).

Old Marco then spiked his fellow players drinks with it, but the team still won the game 2-0.

The problem, apart from the spiking of drinks/match fixing gone wrong combo, is one of the players crashed his car after having a seizure, and two other players had to be taken to hospital after the game.

Doh!!

Another master plan foiled, but what a mad one to try in the first place, surely something that just relaxed or slowed the players down would have been more effective.

Saying that, anything would have been more effective regarding the result, but not as hilarious a story.

The rather dull ending is Marco then owed more money, so then started fixing (or pretending to fix) matches for the betting syndicates/dodgy guys he owed the money to, hence the new scandal.

Giving your team mates hallucinogenic drugs before a game though - that is insane.

We never did that sort of stuff when l was playing (worst luck).

toodle pip

bloody raining again - rainbows everywhere

Bloody typical (again!). l have finished work and it is miserable weather ( again!).

Still, saw a good rainbow at the back of the workplace.

toodle pip

carlito's way (1993)

Bloody typical isn't it? Just as l am about to go back to work after having along weekend off, the sunshine appears and it is hot enough to sunbathe in the garden with the idiot rabbit, (which is what l have just been doing).

As it is so warm, it woke me up early, so after listening to some music, l got up and watched Carlito's Way, another one of Al Pacino's gangster films, but at least he was trying to go straight in this one. Sean Penn played a good role as his attorney, looking more like Art Garfunkel, rather than what Sean Penn usually looks like.

It was a really good film, which captured the sleazy side of New York in the middle of the 1970's, when there was a lot of cocaine and discos, which is always a dodgy combination.

Al Pacino was excellent as always, but Shaun Penn is someone l have grown to be impressed by, as l couldn't stand him years ago, but has matured into a really convincing actor (Milk (2008), I Am Sam (2001), Dead Man Walking (1995).

Just a shame l have to go to work soon, l could get used to this lifestyle way too easily.

toodle pip

this does not look right - part 499

Another dodgy looking comic strip - how did they get away with such filth?

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my kind of store

My kind of store in Gateway District, Minneapolis 1939

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chinatown (1974)

I eventually got round to watching this again today, as it has been on the Sky box for ages.

luckily, I had forgotten quite a lot of it, so that made it even better, as l was trying to work out what was going on at the same time as JJ (Jake) Gittes (the excellent Jack Nicholson).

I didn't realise that it was loosely based on real events, and there had been the St. Francis Dam disaster in 1928 which killed about 450 people.

You live and learn. Also, it was good that it did not have a feel good ending, and the bad guy was getting away with it (and going off with his daughter). That certainly made a change, but also made it more realistic.

A top film.

toodle pip

the wizard of id - drinking

This will be me at my next check up.

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william blake and jack kirby's ideas of god

Jack Kirby , the comic book legend, had these (the black and white ones) visions of what God meant to him, and they were all hung up in his house as he liked them so much.

I much prefer them to William Blake's ideas on the same subject (the ones at the top).

The Jack Kirby photo was taken in 1982.

toodle pip

bastard spiders (again)

I had a bath earlier (Call for the party poppers), which was all well and good, but when l got out of the bath, this bloody thing had been right behind my head without me being aware it was there, which freaked me out a bit, even though it was not that big.

As you can guess, it met a horrible death shortly after this photo was taken.

toodle pip

out with dazzer on saturday

Dazzer and Louise called up on Saturday as he is trying to catch me up in the orphan stakes (I am however, still the winner).

Myself and Dazzer got dropped off at White shops for a few ales, a chat, and a thrashing for him at pool (which l was duty bound to provide, so l did).

As the photo above shows, the weather was excellent, although it did get better later on, but hardly summer time weather.

Had a good time, and Dazzer met some mad guy he used to work with, (who didn't recognise him at first when he was outside, but said we looked like a couple of 'rum' lads). The guy (Andy l think) said he and his wife had been together since they were 17 and 16, and been married 29 years. Amazing dedication.

We didn't get phoned when we were out, although we said we would probably be a couple of hours, so Dazzer obviously had some kind of up to date sympathy card. I'll have to get my hands on one myself.

I've still got to remember to lock the door when they move closer to us though.

toodle pip

meal out at the bannatyne hotel

We met up with Robbo and Kerry yesterday for a meal at Bannatyne's, and a catch up with what has been happening. It was a decent meal, even though the FPO gave us her beef as it was making her feel sick. It was cooked fine, she just had memories of being ill with beef in the past that put her off. The place was OK, and the staff very helpful, but l was cursing as l got nagged into wearing a shirt, while Robbo had a Thor t shirt on. Last time l listen to her.

Called in JT's on the way back, then a quiet night in watching TV and pratting about on the computer.

Making the most of today as l have the place to myself until 10pm, so l am chilling out.

Bliss.

toodle pip

the flatiron building

This is one impressive building, and there are a lot to chose from in New York. This picture of The Flatiron Building was taken in about 1903. I would have loved to have had the chance to be wandering around New York in those days (although the FPO would probably say l am so old, l could have done so). What a great place.

toodle pip.

sand sculpture no 486

Now l like my sand sculptures - l think they are great.

This one goes back a bit though, it's from New Jersey in 1908.

I don't think it is still there now, so don't go looking for it.

toodle pip

reading festival 1977

My first ever festival. I hitch hiked from Catterick (North Yorkshire), to Watlington (in Oxfordshire), and got a taxi to Robin Collins, my mate's house in Lewknor. We then got a bus to the festival (if l remember correctly).

It had been raining a lot the week before, and the site was mighty muddy and pretty damn wet. It didn't improve over the weekend, and in the end, you just have to resign yourself to the fact you are going to have to put up with it. Character building stuff, no wonder l am soooo hard.

Highlights for me were Aerosmith, Eddie and the Hot Rods, The Sensational Alex Harvey band, Thin Lizzy and Lone Star. I took a tape recorder with me and managed to get a semi decent recording of Aerosmith, but most of the recordings were rubbish, as it was an old piano key control one that l just lifted in the air.

God knows how l managed to hitch back Oop North afterwards, but l obviously did so, as l am here to tell the tale (although it has not taken me 34 years, l was back on the Monday afterwards (l think).

I must have enjoyed it though, despite the conditions, as, (like the idiotic gullible fool l am), l returned the following year, when the weather was (thankfully) a lot better..

Happy days.

toodle pip

hot shito

Er...No thanks, l'm not hungry.

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this does not look right - part 494

I have no problem with gays.

I have no problem with gay marriage.

I have no problem with gays adopting.

But just have a gander at Elton's face.

I know he is happy, but that is going to be one very traumatised (and very rich) baby.

toodle pip

this does not look right - part 490

No wonder l am so disturbed, considering all the comics l have read over the years.

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too much of a good thing

Sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. This is just silly.

toodle pip

the secret in their eyes (2009)

This film was great. An Argentinian film about a murder, that also involves a love story. El secreto de sus ojos (The Secret in their Eyes) won the Oscar for best foreign film and it deserves it. Excellent stuff, a bit slow, but l like that. When a girl is murdered, the case gets closed, but the murderer is hunted down and caught, but then set free. The murdered girls partner keeps looking for him and deals with it in his own way, while the main characters finally admit they have fallen in love. It even has the odd funny bit in it.

toodle pip

todd snider - ballad of the kingsmen

I love Todd Snider

Lots

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crazy sheep

Where did l put my drugs?

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blondie and the doors - lady gaga and judas priest

A couple of decent mashups to start the day

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alamo cinemas

This is my kind of cinema - you can't use phones and they also use irate ex customers as advertising.

Superb stuff.

toodle pip

back again

Hurrah! Back again!

The bloody blog wouldn't let me sign in again last night.

It's driving me up the wall at the moment

Still, things could be worse, l could be married or something

Just remembered

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

toodle pip

more spider news - the darwin's bark spider

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the Darwin's Bark Spider.

This little terror (and praise the good lord Keith that he is little) spins the strongest spider web known.

And it's a big web.

Very very big.

And strong.

Very very strong.

I am going for a lie down now, as l feel a bit faint.

toodle pip