I'm back!! (again) - this time from menorca

Well, at long last, l'm back again.  It's been a strange old time and l have just returned from Menorca (through work), but should be back in sunny Catterick until at least September, so the blog is now back on.
I'm really brown, I've now got two cars, and l have seen the Spanish Elvis (who was so bad, it was excellent).  Stone me - what a life.

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2nd line jazz - the roots of rock and roll

The birth of Rock and Roll - Second Line, the precursor to Rock around the Clock and many others.

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a pretty big gob

Now that is what l call a big gob.
From here

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give a fuck o meter

Something l can relate to and something else for a t shirt

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the helicopter fan

A genius idea

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some very drunk people

Glad to know l'm not alone in falling over.
From here

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more spiders from hell

Both of these are so, so wrong, and freak me out, although l will admit they are both clever, especially the hairstyle.
As if l haven't got enough to worry about without the fear of encountering spider type creations like these when l least expect it.
Both pictures are from here.

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andrew collins on the government cuts

There's a great article by Andrew Collins about the governments cutback programmes that l have just read (full article is here), and as he can express himself a lot better than l can, l thought l would repeat some of it, as he echos my views 100%.

Attacks on benefit claimants, the poor, the out of work, the disabled, the sick, are easy to tot up as net gains. But – and here’s where every single one of these cuts affects us all, even people who live in gated communities and have second homes in the country – I don’t personally want to live in a society where the worst-off are treated with corner-cutting contempt. This is the seventh richest nation in the world. In the world. And yet a report commissioned by the TUC predicted that by 2015, almost 7.1m of the nation’s 13m youngsters will be in “homes with incomes judged to be less than the minimum necessary for a decent standard of living”

 Either you believe in society or you do not. Either you link the experience of the poor to the experience of everybody else, or you do not. If you do not live in one of the 3.7 million low-income households whose council tax benefit is cut as of today, then you do indeed seem to be alright, Jack. And if you can step back from the bigger picture – from “breadline Britain” as it’s been branded – and still not care, as it doesn’t affect you directly, then you are a better person than I am. 

This government is run by people who do not think about or care about how other people are getting on. They truly believe, as if it were a religious creed, that if you fall by the wayside, it’s your own, lazy fault. If you’re not an “entrepreneur”, if you don’t do three jobs, if you haven’t saved, then you’re a shirker, or a sponger, or a waste of space. If you agree with this creed, sleep well. If you don’t, then you’re alright by me, Jack.

maurice williamson on gay mariage

A great speech here by Maurice Williamson, the New Zealand member of parliament, giving his views on gay marriage (which they have just legalised).   I'm not so keen on him being a member of The National Party, but his views on the gay marriage debate are more than liberated.

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piff the magic dragon on penn and teller

Not the greatest trick, but the guy in the dragon outfit has a natural talent for comedy.  Very funny and dry.

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richie havens is dead

I have just got up and discovered that Richie Havens has died.  Always best known for his Freedom / Motherless Child appearance at Woodstock in 1969 (thanxs to the film), the last time l heard him was during Django Unchained in the above clip (which sounded magnificent with cinema sound).
The Woodstock appearance is below.
By all accounts a lovely man with time for everybody, he had a great raspy voice, and man, he could sure thumb a guitar.
The flower power generation is dying off brothers and sisters - make the most of it while you can.



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photographs of manchester united's 20th title

You can never have too much of a god thing when it comes to winning the League, especially after how last year's Premiership title race finished.  Here's some photographs of last nights 20th title for Manchester United.
Bliss.

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the green lantern gets power ringed to death

Not a fate l would wish upon my worst enemy.  The Green Lantern is about to get power ringed to death.
No wonder he is looking so pissed off.
By the way, the Green Lantern film starring Ryan Reynolds was one of the worst of it's kind l have ever had the misfortune to see.  I'm talking crap really (no change there), as l didn't really sit through it all.  I switched it off after about half an hour, and trust me, l really wanted to like it, as l used to read and love Green Lantern comics when l was a kid.  However, if it looks like crap, sounds like crap, and probably smelt like crap on the set, it's crap of the highest kind.

Avoid this film - it's crap

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why men never remember - marianne j legato

Loaned to me at Christmas time by Kerry (Bloody hippie).
What it boils down to, is we see things differently and act in different ways because of hormones. Drugs react differently on men and women, and it's all the woman's fault, as us men are perfect (I made that last bit up).
Some good points, but dragged out and repeated too much, and it's probably due to that attitude that Kerry gave me the book to read in the first place.
I'll be rubbing crystals under a pyramid shape next.

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my picture in the attic

No wonder l have stayed so young looking.  I have just found this in the attic.
For those that don't recognise it, it's The Picture Of Dorian Gray, and actually, l'm looking more like it with each passing day.
Damn!
I blame God (again!)

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jamie foxx in the new spider-man movie

I'm already looking forward to Amazing Spider-man 2 (due out next year), which will be featuring Jamie Foxx as Electro (one of Spidey's arch enemies).  Here's Jamie as his alter ego, the non more geeky Maxwell Dillon.
My best friend used to dress like that until l got his mind right (Hello Robbo!).
I just hope they try to stick to the stories and timeline in the comics, even if Electro is going to be based on the Ultimate version.

The Ultimate Electro

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the league of gentlemen (1960) - basil dearden

 

The League of Gentlemen lobby cards

A right old carry on and make no mistake old boy, The League Of Gentlemen has Norman Hyde (Jack Hawkins) assembling a ragtag group of corrupt ex soldiers, all specialists in their own fields, so that they can pull off a bank job (and possibly inadvertently inspire The Great Train Robbery).
The job itself is based on a fictional crime book (The Golden Fleece), and is planned meticulously, but will they get away with it?
There's plenty of the old 'What ho's' and 'I say Darling', and as to be expected, the acting is completely over the top in places, but it is certainly enjoyable if you like old black and white movies.
There's also innuendos towards homosexual behaviour (still a criminal offence at the time) and a short mincing performance from the one and only Oliver Reed (looking very attractive), which is so camp it has to be seen to be believed.
Featuring a great line when Hyde is asked about a portrait of his wife, and if she is dead.  He replies "I regret to say the bitch is still going strong".  Feisty language back in the day, and even now.
The lesson to be learned?  Cover every eventuality, no matter how insignificant they might seem.  I know of what l speak, as l have served some time after not covering my own tracks in the past (obviously l'm now rehabilitated).  You don't want to end up in chokey.



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vicky cristina barcelona (2008) - woody allen

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a homage to both Barcelona, and Gaudi's architectural vision, featuring beautiful people, passion and romance, fantastic shots of the city itself (suspiciously clean and pick pocket free), and an assortment of poets, artists and writers (and rich people).  Who would make a film like this?
Two girl friends go to Barcelona for the summer.  One (Cristina/Scarlett Johansson) is a spontaneous romantic dreamer who is always looking for something different to experience, but unsure of what, thinking that will make her happy.  The other (Vicky/Rebecca Hall) is steady and pragmatic, is about to be married, and is in love.
They then meet Juan (Javier Bardem), a moody, intense, enigmatic painter (is there any other sort in these kind of films?) and both end up having an affair with him, despite his unstable ex wife (Maria/Penelope Cruz) moving back in with him (resulting in a menage a trois involving Cristina).
All well and good, but by the end, everyone ends up unfulfilled.
The painter and his ex wife love each other, but can't live together by themselves. Vicky falls for the painter, but then decides he is too crazy for her, so carries on with her marriage.  Cristina, the romantic searcher, once happiness and contentment is attained, gets bored and decides she wants something else, and moves on, still searching for something to satisfy her wanderlust   Even the old woman they have been staying with has an affair because she is bored.
An artificial portrait of life and romance, where no one is ugly or poor, the days are long and sun drenched, and there is always a local supremely talented musician to go and swoon to.  There is love in the long grass, accidental shootings, and spontaneous trips away by private aeroplanes.  It's got Woody Allen stamped all over it, and it is indeed, one of his.
I still enjoyed it, even if it did annoy me, as the characters and locations spoke nothing to me about my life (as Morrissey would say).

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tubbs celebrating manchester united as champions

It's a bit out of focus, but here's Tubbs the idiot rabbit celebrating Manchester United as champions this evening.  There is no way at the end of last year that l thought United had a chance, so it's pretty sweet they have done it.

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ashton kutcher in hampstead

Ashton Kutcher from Two and a half Men and  Punk'd has moved to Hampstead to be near his girlfriend Mila Kunis.  The Daily Mail have some photographs of him checking out the area by himself yesterday, obviously wanting to wander by himself, and, without irony, state how patient he is with fans who overstay their welcome or pester him.  While at the same time their photographer is following him everywhere, taking numerous photographs and no doubt shouting across to him to try and illicit a response.
Mind you, if l was a big USA star and wanted to go about incognito, l wouldn't wear a flash coat, leather gloves and a baseball cap.  But that's just me - l dress like a scumbag (because l am one)

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thatchers funeral - the sun cover

While looking at some photographs of Margaret Thatcher's (milk snatcher's) funeral today (making sure the witch is still dead), l saw this Sun newspaper front cover, which l was drawn to for one reason.
I know and take the piss out of one of these featured fellows about football, as he is a Liverpool fan (but his wife still loves him). Therefore inside information about the funeral and all it's preparations are available from me at the right price and the usual address.
Not really (confidentiality and all that), but it's a small interlinked world.

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fun with washing machines

People that know me, will know that l will avoid all hard manual labour at all costs.  Sadly, our washing machine has given up the ghost, and the verdict of the expert  l called out was - "It's fucked" (said within 5 seconds of him examining it, at a cost of £10 for callout).
Luckily Dazzer and Louise (brother and sister in law) had a spare machine in their garage, but this meant giving Dazzer a hand getting the old one out, bringing the new one in , and then taking the old one to the tip. Much lifting and shifting ensured, accompanied by my moaning and complaining.
However, when we arrived at the tip, it was closed on Wednesdays.  Seeing as this happened on Wednesday, it meant the old washing machine had to come back on the trailer, but much to my gratitude, Dazzer said he would take it to the tip himself the next day, as l was at work.  Hurrah!!
Unfortunately, the bastard fates conspired against me (as they usually do), because when l was driving home from work the next day, l changed my mind about the journey home, and decided to go through Tunstall.  Disastrous error on my part, as l had to pause to let a car through traffic, and it was only Dazzer heading to the tip, so l felt obliged to turn around, follow him, and give him a hand there.  Which l did.  Only now the trailer had lumps of turf in it as well, which resulted in me assisting in unloading it, and working much harder than l intended..
I feel faint just thinking about dirt and the labour involved.  Time for another soak in the bath to wash away the bad memories.
Manual work....Certainly overrated in my book.

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shaven headed research by albert mannes

I'm interested in Psychology (everybody should be), and there was some research done last year, ( 'Shorn scalps and the perception of male dominance' )  at the University of  Pennsylvania, Philadelphia by Albert Mannes, PHD.
The abstract reading (from Sage Journals) states

Three studies contribute to the literature on dominance and nonverbal behavior (Ellyson & Dovidio, 1985) by examining how a man’s choice to shave his head influences person perception. In Study 1, men with shaved heads were rated as more dominant than similar men with full heads of hair. In Study 2, men whose hair was digitally removed were perceived as more dominant, taller, and stronger than their authentic selves. Study 3 extends these results with nonphotographic stimuli and demonstrates how men experiencing natural hair loss may improve their interpersonal standing by shaving. Theories of signaling, norm violation, and stereotypes are examined as explanations for the effect. Practical implications for men’s psychological, social, and economic outlooks are also discussed.

Basically, people will think you are more powerful, a leader and, as an added bonus, stronger.

Now call me an old cynic (not for the first time), but l have a sneaking feeling that Albert Mannes is using money to pursue his own specific interests, and the findings of the survey may well benefit him more than most.
My evidence?
I present a photograph of non other than Albert Mannes himself.

Thank you very much - l'll get my own coat.

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luis suarez at it again

Watching Liverpool's Luis Suarez trying to take a bite out of Chelsea's Branislav Ivanovic earlier this evening was one of those football related moments that will be talked about for years, much like the Eric Cantona kung fu kick at Selhurst Park in 1995.
I'm biased (Nooooo!!!) because l support Manchester United, but I can't stand Suarez.  As far as l am concerned, he is a cheating rat faced racist bastard and 100% unlikeable.  I'll admit he is a great footballer, but there is no way l would want him at United, especially after the incidents with Patrice Evra (no angel himself).
As for this evenings bite, he has previous in this department (when he was at Ajax), and if l was to be bitten, he is the last person l would want to do it.  With his teeth, he could eat an apple through a tennis racket and pierce cans without a tin opener.  Something l would pay to see.
No doubt he will apologise ('sincerely'), Liverpool will then fine him and say it has been dealt with internally (fnaar), and he will then expect a ban from the FA, possibly to the end of the season.
l can't see Liverpool getting rid of him, and they will probably release a statement stating that he realises he was wrong, and is working on his issues.  Expect some favourable press soon about his community or charity work, as they try to spin out some spurious reasons to keep him.
At the end of the day (Brian), he is just too valuable an asset for Liverpool to dispense of, much as Cantona was for United.  Cantona did however, change into a well respected elder player.  I can't envisage Suarez doing the same.
On a side note, listening to Graham Souness on Sky Sports pontificating about what a disgrace Suarez was to football was hilarious.  Souness was one of the dirtiest and nastiest players around, and would think nothing about cheating, kicking and stamping on opponents.  The two faced hypocritical twat (and he is a crap football analyst).  Mind you, l wouldn't say that to his face - my one has just recovered from it's last mishap.  I don't need more injuries.

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