a cat with two heads and one brain

Unlike our idiot rabbit that has one (fat) head and half (if that) a brain.

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20 years with brian clough - provided you don't kiss me - duncan hamilton

Duncan Hamilton was covering Nottingham Forest when Brian Clough was their manager, so got to know him pretty well (or as well as anyone could do outside of his family). There are some great tales (as expected), and the book is really well written. It reports the highs and lows with Clough, so it is a winner with me (The book also won the William Hill Sports Book of the Year award in 2007). Clough was certainly a complex man, who sadly let the drink get the better of him and impair his judgement during his later years, but he is someone sorely missed in management (when he was younger). I, (amongst many others), would have loved him to become England manager, that would certainly have been interesting. He obviously could not have been less successful. The FA - Ron bleeding Greenwood????? - what a bunch of bastards.

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life and laughing - michael mcintyre

Michael McIntyre's book is one that l guessed l would not like, as a lot of his stand up l am not that keen on, and l thought "here we go, another posh boy telling the tale about how they had the same chances as everyone else, but made it through the hardships". Some of it was like that, l'll admit. He does however, not try to cover up any of the posh stuff, and freely admits to any help he has had. I know a lot of established comics do not like him, but he doesn't mention this in the book, (although he has done in interviews). Maybe it's because of his supposed meteoric rise to fame and fortune, but he did put in the hours (years) before he became famous, and there are some good tales of having no money. There are lots of instances of what a hopeless ass he is, and how sad and desperate he was around girls, which was pretty funny, and an especially good part about wanking all the time (you will have to read it). Much better than l anticipated (unless it's the god-damn flu impairing my judgement).

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red - gary neville

Gary Neville is certainly someone who divides opinion (a bit like Robbie Savage). Manchester United fans love him and Liverpool fans hate him (Gary Neville is a red - he hates scousers). England fans have certainly given him (and his brother - and Beckham) a hard time over the years, so he has some bad memories of playing for them, and admits he would rather do better for United than England (which l admire), but was still proud to play for his country. I'm on the love side of any argument, as he is United through and through, and it was a shame his career petered out through injuries and becoming slower. There was not a lot in the book l didn't already know, but l liked it anyway, as it is always good to hear accounts of the Gods such as Cantona. The main revelation was about how the youth team used to play tricks on each other, as the stories about the England set up/farce is well known. He repeats that the players wanted Venables to stay on as manager after 1996, and thought it was madness he was not kept on, thanks to the FA (who he has no time at all for). Not too much dirt is spilt, but if you support Manchester United, it is always worth reading for another view of the situation behind closed doors (and more confirmation that Sir Alex Ferguson is the hardest working man going). Oh, and he even has some good words about Liverpool.

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nerd do well - simon pegg

As l have been unwell and wanted some easy reading, l have gone through some autobiographies, as they are easy to digest in small chunks. Nerd do Well was OK, but (as l should have expected), there was too much about the 'Dawn of the Dead' and 'Star Wars' films for my liking, but, as Simon Pegg admits over and over again, he is a nerd, and he does love those films (but not the later ones of Star Wars) . There is also a fantasy part with himself as a hero with a robot butler, which l was not keen on at first, but it grew on me. I haven't seen 'Paul' yet, and to tell the truth, l am in no great hurry to, as l have not enjoyed his recent films. However, l do hope it is good as l love some of his stuff, it's good that he admits Nick Frost is funnier than him, and he sounds like a normal and nice guy (although I wouldn't want to be stoned listening to him give a critical analysis of the movies he likes).

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off work ill and reading

Urgh! The good news is l have been off work, and will be off again tomorrow (I think I will be back on Saturday). The bad news is l have flu/pleurisy/swine flu/bronchitis/leprosy or something bad, as l have been sneezing, crapping, not sleeping properly, having hot flushes, aching all over, and coughing up phlegm all the time, resulting in a bad chest and not being able to breath properly (I'm really going through my inhalers at the moment). Although the weather has been great, l have been indoors, reading and falling asleep, then waking up coughing. I even took a picture of my wee yesterday as it was pretty dark, but the FPO advised me not to put it on the blog (she has no taste). Feel like l am getting better, as l have stopped sneezing, but am still aching everywhere and not breathing properly (and still coughing up that phlegm!). It will have to be a trip to the doctors if it continues, but hopefully it is nearly over. I wouldn't mind the flushes and can tolerate aches and pains to be off work, but it's the constant coughing and lack of breath that gets on my (and the FPO's) nerves. I blame God.

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ants changing colour

The ants are drinking flavoured and coloured sugar water. I never thought they would look like this, but l suppose it makes sense.

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giant panda cubs

These are being bred in China. How cute.

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eye test advert

Very clever.

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the league of extraordinary gentlemen (2003) - stephen norrington

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is a film l was certainly looking forward to, as l like Alan Moore's stuff (who did the original comics) a lot, but this film was one Hell of a disappointment. I had seen some of it before, but l thought it was crap then. However, the last time, drink had been taken beforehand, and as this time it was on TV while l was at work, l taped it and decided to give it another go. l managed to last about an hour before conceding defeat and switching it off. That is a sign of a bad film, as, let's face it, l was at work anyway, and had plenty of time to kill .It is kind of hard to say what l don't like about the movie, as there is certainly enough ingredients for a classic, but it just lacks something. It has no suspense, thrills or excitement, although Captain Nemo's sub looked great. Victorian superheroes are to save the world, a great idea, with some wacky and unlikely heroes, but it's still crap. I wonder if they realised it did not work when they were making it? Probably not, as it may not have become apparent until it was finished (or nearly finished). What a waste (and shame).

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3,096 days - natasha kampusch

This book is about Natasha Kampusch and her abduction in 1988 by Wolfgang Priklopil, who kept her in his Austrian basement until she escaped in 2006. The book was at the villa l stayed at on holiday, so l bought it home with me to read, as it is something l would not have spent any of my hard earned cash on. It is obviously repetitive and pretty harrowing, but because of the nature of the captivity, not a lot really happens, apart from her getting older, suffering more beatings and hard work, and explaining how she does not feel she has Stockholm Syndrome. The most interesting parts (for me at least) were the abduction itself, her forgiveness of him, and getting the courage to finally escape. What a life she has had (I thought mine was bad enough). At least she had a good education by him, so it was not all wasted#.

# Yes, that is a joke. Maybe a tasteless one, but a joke non the less. Get over it.

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cybill shepherd - cybill disobedience

A lot of stuff about being beautiful, sleeping around a lot, and the hassle involved doing films and TV. Can't say l found it that exciting or interesting, but l had downloaded it for free so l thought l would give it a go, as she is certainly opinionated, and l thought she was especially good in 'The Last Picture Show' and 'Moonlighting'.

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chris evans - memoirs of a fruitcake

How he met and married, made a fortune, and then lost a lot of it. I actually like Chris Evans' attitude towards money and life, and he admits himself that he was an idiot sometimes, but has survived it all and is still doing pretty damn fine by anyone's standards. He has certainly had some great experiences along the way (including some dealings with me, probably the highlight of his life), and lived life fully. If only l had that kind of money....(I would probably be dead by now).

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more comic madness

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More comic madness from the good old days. What on earth were they thinking? (or drinking?).

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the fpo's present is sorted for christmas

I am looking forward to seeing the FPO's face as she unwraps this present on Christmas day!

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the sphinx partially excavated

This is the Great Sphinx of Giza as it was getting excavated. That is one hell of a lot of sand that had to be shifted.

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the floyd pig flies again

This is a sight l would like to see personally. The Pink Floyd pig flying over Battersea Power Station again (to promote some Floyd re-releases). Rather sadly, it is not the original pig (Algie) as that was found to be leaking. What a hideous thought that is - poor old Algie.

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hayley's gone off to norwich

A long day out today, as we (myself, the FPO and my sister) took my sister's daughter (Hayley) to Norwich, where she is going to be studying at the University of Eat Anglia. Even without any traffic jams, it was still over 4 hours each way, and we were pretty pleased to be back home again afterwards. The FPO drove there and back, which was a blessing, but l had trouble trying to stay awake on the way back, as l was just sitting there. Obviously l was woken every time we arrived at a roundabout, as directions would be required, but it was quite nice dropping off to the sounds from the CD player. It was a bit daunting for Hayley being left there by herself, but she met some of the other students before we left (who looked about 13), and l am sure she will be fine after a short while, as she is used to being pretty self sufficient. She will be a changed person by the time she completes her course, and l suppose l should be saving up, as l said l would pay for her to go to New York if she completed a degree (unless the sweet release of death gets to me first). As she is in the halls of residence for the first year, there is no room to crash out if we fancied a night out down there, so that may have to wait until she is sharing a house in the second and third year. She has been warned.

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big tits zombie

Finally a film myself and the FPO can both enjoy. She likes her horror/zombie stuff, and l'll let you guess what l might enjoy about the film. Also available to see in 3D! Result!!

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dodgy looking lost in space weapon

More comic madness, just check out the weapon they are using. That must have been a joke by the artists (and l am surprised they got away with it, the little tricksters!). Ah, the Golden age of comics, messing with the minds of kids.

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somebody to love audition - freddie

Queen are auditioning for people to tour as the official Queen tribute band. I think we have found Freddie.

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navajo joe (1966 ) - sergio corbucci

A Spaghetti Western starring Burt Reynolds as Navajo Joe (when Burt was still young). Badly overacted, badly dubbed, crap plot and a crazy soundtrack (by Ennio Morricone). This, l would like to say makes it worth seeing, but whereas the Clint Eastwood spaghetti western films are class, this is rubbish. Joe's wife gets killed, so he seeks revenge on the outlaws that did it, saving a village at the same time. Crap, although l did like the mad banshee wailing on the soundtrack when Joe appeared on the top of hills/mountains (but l wouldn't waste my money on the album). Also, even though Burt was young when he made it (about 30), the hair still looks pretty dodgy. A syrup l reckon.

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creature from the black lagoon (1954 ) - jack arnold

This film has to be seen to be believed. It is not dissimilar to the King Kong idea, whereas a creature is found, who then falls for the (there's always one!) girl in the expedition. Of course she has to be rescued, and it does not end well for the creature. The creature is also shot at and captured, but also manages to kill a few humans before being seen off. Great stuff, even if it is in no way, shape or form, even mildly scary. So bad it is good, in a crazy kind of way. Originally released in 3D and featuring Whit Bissell as one of the Doctors (who was General Kirk in one of my favourite TV shows, The Time Tunnel). Splendid stuff!

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r.e.m have split up

A statement on their website has confirmed R.E.M have split up. Although l have not been that bothered about their last few releases, during the late 1980's and early 1990's, they were one of my favourite bands, and gave me a hell of a lot of pleasure. Their concert at Newcastle City hall (I think on the Green tour) was one of the best gigs l have ever been to, with the audience being enraptured when Michael Stipe stood on a chair and sang solo, to an absolutely silent crowd. I suppose it's because of people like me that haven't kept buying their records, that they feel they can't take it further, but there comes a time when you can have too much music from one group. It's still a shame (but now they can now go off and spend all the money l invested in them).

The statement:

"To our Fans and Friends: As R.E.M., and as lifelong friends and co-conspirators, we have decided to call it a day as a band. We walk away with a great sense of gratitude, of finality, and of astonishment at all we have accomplished. To anyone who ever felt touched by our music, our deepest thanks for listening." R.E.M.

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the unicorn shut down

Out and about in Richmond today l saw that the Unicorn is all boarded up and not open for business. What is happening to this great land of ours? This is one of the pubs l usually frequent when l am indulging in the odd tipple in Richmond, and have been doing so on and off for many a year, man and boy. Apparently (so l have been told) there has been a dispute between the manageress and the brewery, so she has told them to stuff their pub. Let's hope it re-opens again soon. What am l going to do with my life otherwise?

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yet another spider at work

I was on a work sleepover again last night, and guess what? Another fucking spider scared the crap out of me. The photo above is taken in the room l was just about to sleep in, on the wall next to the bed. The corner of the picture does not give full justice to the size of the picture or the largeness of the spider. They are both pretty big. Saying that, the spider was big, as l obviously killed the bloody thing, even though l was once again crapping my (by now) heavily stained pants (especially when l only stunned it and knocked it to the floor first in my panicky state). I usually shove the bed away from the wall so there is a decent gap, just in case of any spiders appearing on the wall next to me, or (heaven forbid), actually crawling onto the bed. Last night, that bed was shoved nearly in the centre of the room, well away from having anything against it (apart from the floor and myself). I still did not sleep very well, as l imagined the eight legged bastards coming to get me, as this seems to have turned into a battle between them and me. Trust me, it's not a battle l would want to be involved in, and l would rather they all buggered off somewhere else and left me alone to lead a peaceful life. God l hate them. Before finding this one, l had been having a pleasant evening watching Manchester United beating Leeds 3-0 in The Carling Cup, so l was retiring to bed in high spirits. My, how things can suddenly change (and not for the better). AAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sleepover tomorrow had better not involve discovering more of them, or l will be doing a dirty protest.

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bride of frankenstein (1935) - james whale

Just what you would expect from James Whale. Lots of moody and atmospheric shots, plenty of overacting, and some (rather splendid but) ludicrous stuff, like the little King/Queen etc in the jars. This film is obviously the follow up to Frankenstein (1931) and continues on from where that film ended. Mary Shelly is still weaving her magical tale, in which the creature and Baron Frankenstein have both (of course) survived, and the Baron is persuaded (against his will) by Dr Pretorious to make the creature a mate. Along the way, the creature meets (and is befriended by) the blind hermit (as in the book), but (of course), that also ends in tears. Don't think it is good news when the mate is made either, as once again, the poor old creature is rejected (I know how he feels). It's bad news when even a female bought back to life is not happy to be with you. Once again, the creature dies at the end. But for how long?

Another classic from the archives!

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shain erin dolls

Shain Erin dolls. What's not to like? Buy one now for that loveable little kiddie in your life.

More dolls and information here.

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