keith richards funeral

I will never get to go to Keith Richards' funeral (if he ever dies), but at least l've got close.
Hence the evidence from Monday.

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the addams family home in colour

This just does not look right. A colour photograph from inside the home of  The Addams Family.
Because l've always seen it in black and white on the old TV series, it seems weirder than usual. However, l did notice they have the same Hookah pipe as me (the green and red thing at the bottom of the picture). My one's from Turkey).

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singles as artwork

More interesting stuff that l've had for a while. 

Fancy getting one of your favourite songs re-imagined as a cool piece of art?

In that case, head to Tolhurst Vinyl Art, where plenty more examples like these can be found.

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wildlife photographer of the year 2017

I've had these photographs for quite a while now. They are my favourite ones from The Natural History Museum's 2017 Wildlife Photographer Of The Year, but I never got around to posting them.
Until now!

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charity shops heaven

Oh boy Oh boy - l struck lucky last week with my charity shops visit. Some of these books l have already read or have in different translations, and a lot of the cds l have copies of, but l nearly wet myself with excitement at finding this load of goodies.

As usual, all l need now is more time off work, and a bigger house to store all of my crap.

If only l could find this kind of stuff every time l went a searchin'.

                                             

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the kiddie alarm clock

The Boro kids love me, but it's not so good first thing in the morning when you wake to this sight at an ungodly hour, followed by non stop attention from them.

Sometimes it's a curse being funny.

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mr parrot's new stand

Hmm...Mr Parrot's new stand is a bit bigger than l thought it would be.

Still, he loves it now, so it will be staying

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the broken washer drier

Damn!!

My old washing machine finally packed in  a couple of weeks ago. This, despite the fact that when l noticed the drum wasn't spinning, it received a kick from me to make it work. This method was fine for a while, but it then started tripping the electrics, which even l thought may not be a good thing.

So, it was left outside, taken the next morning at 8am by the scrap men, and a new washer drier purchased.

All well and good, but l thought l'd switch the new machine on for a quick first wash with no clothes in it, and then noticed there were pipes left inside the drum. I stopped the machine, tried to open the door too fast, and promptly broke the door handle off. All before it had even washed any of my clothes.

Luckily l can still open the door using a broken chopstick (don't ask), and the machine is working fine.

Now l've got to decide whether to fix it or continue as l am.

Let's face it - the door will be like this for some time.

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iphone x advert

The recent advert for the iphone x is doing my head in.

Sure, the woman in the advert is very attractive, the song is very catchy (All Night by Big Boi), and the singing animojis are cute, but there's something that's been really bugging me.

What the hell is the animoji on the right?

It just looks like a lump of poo - and don't try to convince me it's meant to be chocolate ice cream.

Bloody youth of today / what's the world coming to / wouldn't have got away with this when l was a lad ... blah blah blah blah etc

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ladies who lunch

One of the downsides of working with a load of women - getting dragged out for lunch!

Ah well, at least it's an addition to my ongoing collection of pilfered menus

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teeside training instructions

I had to go to Stockton a week or so ago for some training, to a place l hadn't been before.

These are my rather untidy instructions that l put together the night before (at about 2am!).

It may look like gibberish to the ordinary layman, but they make perfect sense to me.

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new years fitness regime with ozzy osbourne

I went to read a second hand copy of Ozzy Osbourne's 'I am Ozzy' a couple of weeks ago, and this fell out of it. Somebody's fitness regime for the New Year in 2012. The places they describe are very close to where l live, so l might even know the person who wrote it, and I'm curious to know whether they stuck to it.

I think l left my fitness regime in the pub

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unsuspected filming

Looks like someone's filmed me when l wasn't expecting it!
A hilarious clip from the Shaun the Sheep movie



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haircut time again

This may not look like a lot of hair, but trust me, it is. Just the thing to do as the weather gets colder!

 l am now training my remaining hair to adapt to a new style.

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shaun ryder on ecstasy and god's copper

Amongst the many books l've read recently, one was Shaun Ryder's autobiography, 'Twisting my Melon'. In it, he repeats what l (and many others) have been saying for years about ecstasy making people friendlier and it doing away with most of the football violence and general fighting on a night out. As he states, it's now a cliche as it's so well accepted amongst any right thinking folk.

Sadly, as the big clubs and raves are dying out, ecstasy use is being replaced by other drugs such as cocaine, and the football violence is coming back. Time for a revival methinks.

Also, the Anderton he refers to was James Anderton, the chief constable of police for Manchester, who was known as 'God's Copper', due to him stating that he had a direct line to God, which affected his views on morality.

Tosser.

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the chuckle brothers in funny incident shock

While l don't find The Chuckle Brothers funny in any way, shape, or form, this photograph of them meeting a fan always makes me laugh.

An outstanding optical illusion - look closely!

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the guardian christmas party

An excellent tweet from Steve Stewart-Williams

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bbc head of crm post available

Thinking of working at the BBC?
There's a job going as head of CRM, l assume to any management geek that can even understand what the job entails.
I'm sad to report that my licence fee pays for this kind of management gobbledygook.
More information here.

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david brent's sausage party

These pictures are probably old news now, but l never got around to posting them when l first got them. Ricky Gervais as David Brent, for sale in the shops, but looking suggestive next to Sausage Party, followed by a tweet from Ricky himself.

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two poems - drunk and dusting

Two poems l can relate to, although l can't remember where l got the top one from.

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evil cat - hugleikur dagsson

Nothing to say about this really, apart from it made me laugh, and obviously appealed to my sense of humour!

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mr udine's one wheeled motorcycle

You've got to love a maverick, especially a maverick inventor. Here's M'G de Udine, with his one wheeled motorcycle in 1931.
You may think that Mr Udine and his bike look ridiculous, but it could reach speeds of 90 miles per hour.
No wonder he looks pleased with himself, although l bet his trousers are brown.

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the end of the world - donald trump style

As the good old United States of America seems to be heading slowly towards a war in Korea (again), while trying to tell the Chinese what to do, it highlights how prescient this front cover of Donald Trump was by Der Speigel. If you can't guess what it says, despite the self explanatory cover, it's forecasting the end of the world.

Maybe l should start digging one of these in the back garden - an ideal First World War trench. Then again - sod it - too many spiders for my liking.
I'll be in the pub when the big bomb goes off.

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