turkey here we come!

Heading off to the villa in Turkey tonight/early hours of tomorrow and can't wait for it. Be great to get away from this shitty English weather, rain, rain and more fucking rain. Hope it pisses down while w are away and then brightens up when we get back.
I am off work until the 17th of September so it is going to be a good break from that. Then I am off to Bulgaria on the 21st so September is certainly something to look foreward to.
Should be pretty hot in Turkey, going to do lots of reading and listening to music, plus l won't miss any Manchester United games as England are playing and l am not bothered that much about them.
Thinking about football, it was a great win yesterday against the Arse. They were actually the better team, although United had a couple of decent chances they should have scored from. It's always great when the game is decided by own goals, penalties not given, and disallowed offside goals in the last few seconds. That really winds up the opposition, which makes it all that much sweeter. Marvellous stuff. Spurs away next, that should be a good one. Till then...HOLIDAY TIME!!
toodle pip

bob dylan

Is this some kind of sick fucking joke? A Bob Dylan Christmas album? Apparently it will be released this Christmas and l am dreading it. There is no way l can imagine that it will be good.
I love Bob Dylan and he has done some great stuff in the past, some of the best songs of all time in fact. His voice has now gone as far as singing goes (some would say he never had a voice to begin with), but he still produces the odd decent record.
I can get my head around the fact he may be voicing a sat nav system as that would be a bit of a laugh and would work well for Dylan fans (although l do think that is a joke carried on from his radio series). But (and l repeat) A fucking Christmas album!!! He really is having a laugh.
toodle pip

superhero

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man		80%
Batman		60%
Superman		50%
Wonder Woman		35%
Robin		30%
Supergirl		25%
The Flash		20%
Green Lantern		10%
Hulk		0%
Catwoman		0%
Iron Man		0%

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.



Go here to take the superhero quiz

http://www.thesuperheroquiz.com/

where the money goes

Pretty amazing

example of where the USA has been spending it's money. Wish they would send some my way.

working out

Soon be time to set off to Turkey - at the weekend no less. As we have all rented a villa with a swimming pool, an extra special effort has been put in to look good around it. It hasn't worked out quite as planned and l think we will look the same as usual (see above photos). What has happened to our youth forchristsake??

l guess we will just have to drink more (if that's possible) to convince ourselves we are still cool. So it's not all bad news then.

toodle pip

The X Factor 2009 - Danyl - Auditions 1 (itv.com/xfactor)

This reminds me of when l was singing in Lilac Mist at the Risedale Christmas concerts

Kseniya Simonova - Sand Animation (Україна має талант / Ukraine's Got Talent)

This is fantastic - pisses all over our UK's got talent shows

Soccer AM: Player Profile - Jimmy Bullard - 15/08/09

Jimmy sure is a character

York

Now back from York. I had a good time there, even though it was with work. Stayed at the York Royal hotel next to the train station, which was pretty large, to say the least (it's lit up in the photos). It is pretty close to the centre of York so York wasn't far to walk into, and the weather stayed sunny all the time l was there.

I don't usually bother seeing many sights when I go to York as it is usually for a concert or a day out on the lash. Made an effort this time and had a good look round. Went to some really old pubs, saw lots of buskers, ate traditional ale and steak pie (with mashed pots, no vegetables of course) and had plenty of ice cream and snacks.

There goes the diet (again).

Also went to see The Railway children at York Railway Museum. Very clever the way it was done, the audience on either side of a railway platform, with the action taking place alongside the railway lines. Scenery was moved up and down the line, and a real steam train was also used, which was pretty impressive.

The only thing with plays though, is l always think they go on too long. I would rather they were shorter. By the time the interval came, I was ready to leave. Let's face it, I knew what was going to happen, the steam train had already been used, and the girl had already waved her red bloomers at the train to stop it. Still worth seeing though.

toodle pip

Bonnie Scotland

Drove up to a place called Paxton at the weekend for Sue and Bills blessing. Got there early so we managed to hit the pub (The Cross Inn at Paxton, meant to do really good food) beforehand and have a couple of wee drams (or rather, large double drams). Quick change in the pub car park then off to the ceremony.
A good time was had by all, there was an emotional speech given by Sue and Bill which nearly had me wiping a tear away, but l managed to keep it all together (English pride etc, don't want to let the side down in front of the Jocks). Mind you, Ken's introduction nearly reduced me to tears (only joking, he kept it short).

Plenty of food and drink after (All free!! Hurrah!!), then we drove back (well, Mandy did, although l did offer). Back to Catterick about 2am, which wasn't bad at all. it was good to go to the do but still wake up in my own bed in the morning. Seemed a bit unreal that we had been out for a night out in Scotland the night before, but l suppose it's not that far if the roads are clear.
May post some film or photos when l can get to the computer again.

Not been able to get at the computer till now as Mandy has been doing her degree stuff, working till about 1.30am last night. Has to be in by Thursday so at least it is now nearly over, plus it's the start of holiday time at the end of next week - Turkey here we come!

Also....

Footie is back! Started with a 1-0 win against Birmingham. The points are the most important thing at the start of the season, plenty of time to play decent football once the team has settled after a few games. Looking foreword to Burnley on Wednesday now.
That's it. got to go now as l am off to York for the night, hope the weather stays decent.

Toodle pip

darts of angry fire

PEOPLE across northern England fled in panic last night claiming the 'cloud gods were shooting darts of angry fire across the sky'.

'Thor and Jesus are clearly not happy.' Emergency services from Carlisle to Middlesbrough were stretched to breaking point as thousands of soot-smeared villagers used their 'sorcerer's talking boxes' to phone the fire brigade. But the exhausted crews were unable to keep up with demand as they dashed across the region, directing their hoses upwards in a bid to stop the clouds from bursting into flames. A Home Office spokesman said: "Their natural reaction is to phone 999 as most Northerners believe the sky to be no more than 30ft high."You would think that the firemen would tell them not to worry, but of course northern firemen are still Northerners."

Meanwhile, south of Peterborough, the phenomenon was attributed to the Perseid meteor shower. Cambridge astronomer Tom Logan said: "It is an annual astronomical event caused by debris from the Swift-Tuttle comet disintegrating in the upper reaches of the Earth's atmosphere. But of course to a Northerner, I may as well have said all that in Mandarin Chinese." He added: "They're really just children. Unfortunately they're also huge, drunk children who will fling an old woman onto a bonfire if they think her cat is up to no good."

Stephen Malley, the deputy leader of Northallerton District Council, said: "The gods have tested us tonight, but I am glad to say our brave firemen were up to the task and the sky remains intact." However, it is clear that we have angered our invisible cloud masters and they must now be appeased with an extended period of sacrificial blood letting. I suggest we start with the poofters."

monkey pees in mouth

What a trick

UFO's

No proper work now till next Thursday - Hurrah!!
In the meantime, off to Scotland for a wedding at the weekend, then York next week, maybe catch 'The Railway Children' at York railway museum while l am there.
To get back to work though, when l was there last week, one of the tenants went outside for a fag and spotted something in the sky. Luckily we had the camera charged up so l filmed it. Poor filming, but you do get a good closeup of the UFO. Then l got taken on board and probed.
toodle pip

rod liddle

The article at http://sadiestavern.blogspot.com/'Rod has a great description of Rod Little -

"resembles a Buddha made by a toddler out of flabby cheese"

fantastic - wish I had thought of that

toodle pip

song to the siren

Long afloat on shipless oceans, I did all my best to smile. 'Til your singing eyes and fingers Drew me, loving to your isle. And you sang "Sail to me, Sail to me, Let me enfold you, Here I am, Here I am, Waiting to hold you". Did I dream you dreamed about me? Were you hare when I was fox? Now my foolish boat is leaning, Broken lovelorn on your rocks, For you sing, "Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow: O my heart, O my heart shies from the sorrow". I am puzzled as the newborn child, I am troubled at the tide: Should I stand amid the breakers? Should I lie with Death my bride? Hear me sing, "Swim to me, Swim to me, Let me enfold you: Here I am, Here I am, Waiting to hold you"

toodle pip

Sir Bobby Robson and tossers

I was thinking again about a recent post (and after many arguments with people) regarding Sir Bobby Robson, and people acting as though they knew him and what his character was really like.

I still state that you only know the side of the person that has been presented on television and radio. Obviously the person may wish to present themselves in a certain way, most of them wishing to come across as nice. This does not mean that they are nice, even if they come across like that in programmes that are more immediate (fly on the wall documentaries, live broadcasts and debates etc). They may well be nice, but we cannot be sure and should not make such a judgment, merely that the person seems to be nice.

On the other hand, I do make decisions based on the same amount of evidence, as to whether somebody is an absolute twat. Is this hypocritical of me? Not at all. If somebody is on a programme and is shown to be a complete twat, that means they are a complete twat. maybe not all the time, but if they have done enough to really annoy me (and it doesn't take a lot to get my gander up), then I don't care how nice they may be at other times, they are just twats. An example of such a tosser is an easy one - Jeremy Clarkson What a fucking knob he is, and I don't care how nice he may be to his Mother or how much he gives to charity, I fucking cannot stand the smug, right wing, middle class tosser. I would love it if he was in a really bad car crash and disabled in such a way as to shut the fucker up for good (and no I won't feel at all bad if that really happened). I'll say it again - I can't stand the tosser.

If somebody walks and talks and behaves like a twat, then they are one. I do obviously, discount myself, as I am only a twat now and again, but deep down I am a really nic... Cancel that - I have proven my theory to be correct, for I am without doubt, one of the biggest tossers going.

At least my argument is correct

toodle pip

inheritance

I have been reading about the tailor Doug Hayward. He became pretty successful but he remained proud of his Cockney roots; and every week until her death in 1984 he visited his mother, Winifred (who had worked in a bullet-making factory during the war), presenting her each time with a £1 note to pay for her meals-on-wheels.


When she died the family found this money preserved in 15 ice-cream boxes under her bed, along with a note reading: "This money is to get Doug out of prison when they finally get him." She did not believe that her son could earn so much money as a tailor, and assumed that he must have criminal connections.



I can't believe I did not find any boxes like that when my Mother died, as she must have thought that I would end up in jail (again).

On the other hand, I suppose I never took round money every week. Swings and roundabouts I guess.



Toodle pip

more weather!

The bastards are at it again. In today's Observer, they are forecasting sunny weather for the next few days, with maybe more to follow ( in a piece about Britons travelling abroad to find sunny weather). This is still despite the fact they cannot forecast more than about two days ahead accurately.
To top this, in the weather section at the back where they have the six day forecast, predictions are for cloudy weather pretty much everywhere, no sunny forecasts at all. Bastards! I think they are just putting all these forecasts and statements in to annoy me. And by God it has worked.

Toodle pip

the weather

I know it has been covered recently in the papers that August is not going to be BBQ hot after all, as was forecasted in about June, but come on - where's the bloody sunshine?
I really hate the weather forecasters, they predict a load of crap which they admit themselves they have no idea about, if the prediction is long term. After the first day or so, predictions cannot be trusted (unless it's the Sahara you are talking about)
Why then, are the forecasters so sure the rest of the summer is going to be crap? They till have no idea. Next week could be scorching (although l am not holding my breath). Got to finish the rant now as l am at work at 10am and have to get ready.
Bastards!

toodle pip

John Otway live

Busy weekend - Richmond Live was on so l thought l would be a good lad and take my niece to see John Otway and his big band on Friday evening, as the FPO was too tired. Good time was h by all, then on Saturday, the FPO, myself, Louise and Dazzer went on the lash in Richmond. made our way down to Richmond Live later on in the afternoon for the later acts and Bad Manners, who were much better than l expected. Mind you, we were all pretty minging by then. Indian on the way home, then watched Manchester United against Bayern Munich once everyone had gone to bed. Splendid!

toodle pip

JOE GIDEON AND THE SHARK

Different and yet very good indeed

Sir Bobby Robson

Sir Bobby Robson died today after his 5th bout of cancer. When l was in the Wine bar last Monday, there was a picture of Sir Bobby on the front of the Northern Echo at the England v Germany charity match. We said then he looked at deaths door but didn't thing he was that close to death.
Been listening to various radio stations while l have been out and about today and there have been a lot of tributes poring in, saying what a nice man he was and how much he loved football.
Fair enough with people saying he seemed like a nice man, but half the people spoken to had never met the man, and were stating things as though they were fact.
The radio presenters didn't help either. I know they have a job to do but some of the questions were pathetic. Asking ex players about Sir Bobby who admitted they had never played for him, just knew him a bit. Once again, fair enough. But they were then being asked "What was he like in the changing room at half time?" and "Did he give the hairdryer treatment at half time" when the player had already stated they had not been in a changing room with him.
Other people saying "He was lovely, always had time for people, such a nice man" etc and then saying "I have been crying all day about his death, mind you, I never met the man".
This to me just cheapens it all. He did seem to be a generous and nice man but who the hell am l to know?. Let his family get on with mourning as they are the ones that did know him. Feel sad or grieved if you want, but don't pretend you knew the man.

toodle pip

more jordan

Forgot to add something to the post below about Jordan (it is early). I don't for one minute begrudge her making all her money by whatever means, as she has been upfront (in more ways than one fnar fnar) about pretty much everything to do with her writing career, scents etc. She is obviously a smart woman who plays dumb and makes the most of what she has got (or what she has paid for to have enhanced).

Good luck to her, it's the idiots that buy her stuff that l despair for.

toodle pip

jordan

So.. Jordan (Katie Price) has got a new fiction book out. l can't be bothered looking up the title or checking that the above picture features the correct book. l do however, know that she admits herself that she does not write them.

What kind of celebrity fascination drives people (kids and kids parents) to buy a book like this? Admittedly, a child (maybe) may have borrowed one at school, or read one not knowing about the author, (doubtful) and enjoyed it, therefore wanting to read another. But who the hell buys the first lot of books to spread the word. Fucking vapid idiots who would buy any sort of crap if it was wrapped up nicely and featured in Now!, or Hello, or whatever the plebs read nowadays.

l despair of my fellow working classes who buy into this bullshit, but at least they can blame a crappy education and a need to escape, and l suppose any reading is better than none if it leads onto proper books. l do however, suspect that a lot of the books, are being sold to the aspirant middle classes, (just a hunch, absolutely no figures on which to back it up).

Trust me though, l am right. And they are all idiots

toodle pip

more holidays!

Looks like my greasing at work is finally paying off. I am away to Turkey on holiday for the first two weeks in August and when l return to work, l go off to Bulgaria for a week from 21st - 28th September. All expenses paid. l should then be going on a cruise for a week/week and a half, also through work, also all expenses paid. l am sorting out voyages and options, but it looks like it will be the Med and Africa. Also just been told today that l can also go away at the end of October/November, somewhere undecided but hot, abroad, and all expenses again. Hurrah!!

l had been looking forward to getting swine flu so l could have a week/ten days in bed, but l suppose l should try and avoid it now. Mind you, l probably had it when l was in Portugal in May, as l was coughing for about the first four or five days away. Would probably have killed anyone else, but l am made of strong stuff.

Now l just need to sort out some nights away with work, staying in hotels and going to shows or concerts. Already got the 18th August sorted for York. it's a shame the only fellow at work doesn't want to go to football matches, or l would be unbearable (or should l say even more unbearable). Who cares - what a cushy job at the moment.

toodle pip

exotic lager

Some of the beers l have knocked back this evening while dossing around. A fine selection from various countries - all tasting more or less the same.

I would rather drink Coke for the taste, but l like the effect alcohol has. Got them out today as Dazzer the swine flu boy and Louise called round, and l can't deal with people sober. All that was in the house was stuff bought back from trips abroad so it was a case of them or nothing. Going to keep the bottles as l like the look of them, maybe only keep one bottle of each as the house will end up like the house above.

toodle pip

old movies

Lazy day today doing bugger all. l have been lounging around watching football and films (after lounging around in bed reading the Sunday paper). Saw Lifeboat for the first time, pretty dated but still OK. Not as good as Ice Cold in Alex which has the same premise, IE people are thrown together in a small passenger craft (lifeboat and jeep), they are both trying to reach safety and both pick up a German and don't know whether to trust him, but have to rely on his expertise. Oh, nearly forgot, in both films they are desperate for a drink. Also pretty unbelievable how the rather lovely Sylvia Simms would fall for John Mills in Ice Cold in Alex, but that's the make believe glory of the movies. The old sad bastard with drink problems can still pull attractive young females. If only life was more like that. Hold on a minute....

Damn. l forgot in real life the sad old blokes are rich.

toodle pip

stevie g

Steven Gerrard has been cleared of affray today, following a trial at Liverpool crown court. As he's been found innocent, here are the facts.

After Gerrard was initially questioned by police, his solicitor said: "He understands his obligations and responsibilities and this is completely out of character and out of the blue...he is extremely remorseful for what actually happened and certainly there wasn’t any intention for events to turn out that way."

CCTV footage clearly shows one of Gerrard's friends throwing the first punch at Marcus McGee. Then, Gerrard is seen to throw three punches - something he referred to in court as: .."very difficult [at the time] to explain to police why I did throw that first punch." Gerrard was then shown on CCTV being physically restrained by his friends. He's always maintained that he was acting in self-defence. 6 of his friends have already pleaded guilty to affray.

The judge, in clearing Gerrard, said: "The verdict is a credible verdict on the full facts of this case, and you walk away from this court with your reputation intact."

What a suprise he got off. The law is an ass

(with thanxs to peterthecook)

toodle pip

the rant continues

I have just been reading more about Alan Milburn and the proposals for schools. They have suggested a £7,000 payment to help underprivileged pupils who have high aspirations, to assist them to move to a better school. They admit this will be opposed by teachers, and rightly so. What about the rest of the pupils in the school that has been left? Surely they are entitled to a decent education as well. If all the gifted pupils leave the crappy schools, teachers will follow and the crappy schools will get worse, creating even more of an underclass of under performing and uneducated kids. Money should be ploughed into under performing schools to help everyone there. The private schools should be abolished and schools should all be state funded with decent teachers and amenities available to everyone. Some kids will never do well even if they are bright. Problems at home, an ingrained inferiority complex backed up by their peers and maybe just an unwillingness to learn, as there are other distractions (easy cash in hand money, girls, cars etc). Often these are the kind of people who do education later on in life, as they come to realise what they have missed out on. The opportunity to learn, however, should be there for everyone. If private schools have to continue (for whatever reason), intake should be limited so that only a percentage are paying pupils (half at most).
At the moment, seven percent of pupils attend private schools, but they make up seventy five percent of judges and seventy per cent of finance directors. That is obscene, and it is without taking into account the children who go to pretty exclusive schools that are not private. Bastards. Rant over - toodle pip

closed doors

Cracked it at last. I can now post videos as well as pictures (not that I have really tried before). Now I will have to desperately think of what to show. Expect lots of movies for a short while and then back to normal.

Meanwhile... just been reading the papers about the UK being an unequal society, where class and your background hold you back. What a fucking surprise. Alan Milburn says that it's about time the inequality was tackled to assist people from low social groups to prosper and have better opportunities.Also in the piece, he goes on about the middle classes also losing out on careers if they do not go to the right schools.
I have a pretty strong feeling that the reason it is being addressed now is because it is affecting the middle classes.
There are a lot more people getting Uni or Poly educations and therefore degrees. In the past, when fewer people got degrees, there was no problem for the middle classes (at least nowhere near on the same scale). Now that every Tom Dick or Harry (apart from me) has a degree, it ceases to be so impressive and does not open up career opportunities like it once did.
Let's face it though, the posh schools will continue to thrive and Oxbridge Uiversities will continue to provide the so called great and the good.
Eat the rich.

toodle pip

nozzer looking a state

I think this will upload properly - nozzer and his war wounds. Just trying out the add video bit
toodle pip

first uploaded video!

I think at last l have managed to upload a video - so here's Manchester United against West Ham from about 1978 - football and its fans are so different now

toodle pip

nearly holiday time!!

Another day, another dollar. Slaving away at work recently but at least it’s not for long. Soon be holiday time, plus there are other things to look foreword to.
Have got a long weekend off this weekend, then it’s Richmond live the weekend after. Two weeks after that l am off to a wedding in Scotland, and then it’s off to Turkey for two weeks at the end of August. Have also just confirmed l am going to Bulgaria for a week in September (21st onwards). Staying in a five star hotel and all expenses paid. Hurrah!! Will also be the start of the football season in a couple of weeks (Charity Shield game against Chelsea). Been a long summer without football.

At work now but l am obviously not doing any work at the moment. Been a quiet day and the weather has been pretty damn good this evening, so we have had a relaxing day.

On the home front, Nozzer is still swollen on his cheek. Can’t wait to give that a squeeze tomorrow. Hope it clears up soon, poor little fellow.

Have also been trying to get some home movie footage posted, no luck so far but will persevere with it. That’s the lot for now, what excitement!

Toodle pip

nozzer's back

Had to take litle Nozzer to the vets again yesterday as his right cheek had swollen up with puss again. They had to keep him in overnight to cut into it, clean it out, put in a capsule, give him anti-biotics and clean him and repeat this morning.
Went to pick him up earlier and he looks a state again, a bit like his daddy, but in his case all shaven and still a bit swollen (maybe if l have a shave...). Good to have the little boy home though, it wasn't the same going to bed last night without putting him to bed first.
Have to give him anti-biotics and clean him twice a day, then he returns to the vets for a check up on Thursday afternoon.
He sat on my shoulder coming home in the car and was jumping around (for joy l hope) when he heard us in the vets, but is a bit subdued at the moment. Probably been awake all night wondering what is happening to him.
l have said it before and l will say it again, l love that little bunny.

toodle pip

sad bastard

Sometimes l amaze myself how sad l really am. Been off work all day and all l have been doing is reading stuff on the computer and downloading/listening to music. That by itself sounds a bit suspect, but part of the listening is an 8CD bootleg box set of the Rolling Stones called "The Satanic Sessions", consisting of studio sessions of songs from the (you've guessed it) Satanic Majesties album. Think that's sad? Oh no no no, it gets worse. The Cd's have no vocals on them, just repeated instrumentals of the songs from the worst Stones album from that period. Hours of them. Another day off tomorrow/later on and l will probably be doing the same.
Shoot me.

toodle pip

Operation Repo - Just Beat I t - truTV.com

This is great once the son comes out and starts kicking off (1.50mins) Beat it!
toodle pip

Realistic Robot Woman

Just think, programme it to stop nagging. Replace the nagging with "you're so good" and "you're so large".
Robot sex is nearly here!
toodle pip

Good old Labour

Ah the good old days. Don't really trust any politician but do believe we should vote or stop complaining. Time for Labour to get back to basic principles. Bring back posters like the above. Fuck the rich bastards, tax them high or let them bugger off somewhere else. Use tax money to help the poor by providing a better transport system, education and health care. Think of the long term benefits. Surely that's not too radical an idea.

toodle pip

Nozzer's gone mental

I don't have any idea what has happened to Norrin the indoor rabbit at the moment. He's gone crazy and won't leave you alone, especially if you have got some food. I started it by training him to stand up when he wanted food. That has now gone out of the window as he stands up every time he hears the fridge opening or the rustle of any paper. If you are eating food, he leaps all over you and will even go as far as putting his head in your mouth and licking your tongue (yes, I do let him and secretly enjoy that bit). He has also taken to laying flat out next to you on the settee, wanting attention and stroking. Was hilarious at first, now it is rapidly becoming a pain. be careful what you wish for. Still, I will miss him when he is gone, I love that little mite.

toodle pip

wrestling midgets

Wrestling Midgets 'Killed By Fake Prostitutes'

11:59am UK, Friday July 03, 2009

Two professional midget wrestlers found dead in a low-rent hotel room may have been drugged by female robbers, according to Mexican authorities.

Post mortems are being carried out on La Parkita - or Little Death - who wore a skeleton costume in the ring and Espectrito Jr.
The twin brothers, real names Alberto and Alejandro Jimenez, reportedly had been entertaining two prostitutes on the night of their deaths.
Police said two women were seen leaving the men's hotel room shortly before the bodies were discovered by a cleaner.
Prosecutor Miguel Angel Mancera said gangs of female robbers are experienced at using drugs to knock men out and rob them but they may have used too strong a dose.
The wrestlers' small stature means they may have succumbed to the drugs more easily, although larger men have also died in similar crimes.
The bodies of the two men, both aged 35, were found at a hotel a short distance from the Arena Mexico wrestling venue in Mexico City.
Midget wrestling had a huge following in the 50s and 60s but its popularity has waned across the world.
But the sport is still enormously popular in Mexico and fans are said to be mourning its two most famous stars.

You couldn't make up a story like this

toodle pip

More Jacko

Why did no one pick up on it when he had shown all the signs of a heart attack? Wheezing noises, jerking of the arms, ashen complexion? I suppose to be fair he has been showing all those symptoms since the mid eighties. Had Jackson’s staff noticed something was wrong earlier he might have been saved, but when they saw him grab his left arm, go stiff and yelp they just thought he was practising his moves for Beat It.

It’s not known what triggered the heart attack, but High School Musical 3 was on cable at the time.

(with thanxs to Frankie Boyle)

toodle pip

man or woman

Which one of these is a woman? Most people's brains tell them it is the one on the left (the lighter one). In fact the pictures are identical except for the fact one has been made lighter. The features were computer generated using a mixture of male and female features.

toodle pip

milky way

Pretty cool footage of the night sky - don't think l have posted it before

http://vimeo.com/4505537?pg=embed&sec=&hd=1

toodle pip

Hitler finds out Michael Jackson has died.

And so it goes on

Little Boots - Stuck On Repeat

Much as l have an instant dislike for anyone called Victoria (Class war etc), it is pretty cool what she does here

More Jacko

This is one of the best things l have read about Jacko recently.

Spin Magazine’s Steve Kandell had the best take on his death, refusing to find a reason to reconcile the two sides of Jackson: “Iconic pop stars should be weird and unknowable, that’s what we’re paying them for… they should be shooting their televisions and comparing themselves favorably to Jesus and collecting African babies at will and sleeping in hyperbaric chambers with well-dressed chimpanzees and possibly, regrettably, kindergartner's. Because we cannot. We need them to live lives we’ll never know, lives we shouldn't’t know.”

Don't get me wrong. I try to live my life like a pop/rock star (Keith Richards - how predictable), but l agree. Pop/Rock stars are there to lead the lives that others want or dare not lead.
Still don't empathise with Jacko too much though

toodle pip

Michael Jackson - Billie Jean (Moonwalk 1983) Motown 25 Live

When the magic was still tere

Jacko

These are the best jokes l have heard so far re Jacko

As Jacko was fighting for his life in the ambulance the doctor said 'I think we should start cpr'.
The paramedics said 'no we should start the heart massage"
The driver said "no we should an adrenaline drip."
Then Jacko gasping for breath said 'fuck me, you wanna be starting something,you gotta be startin something'.

When Farrah Fawcett arrived in Heaven, God was such a big fan he decided to grant her one wish.
She asked that all the children in the world could be safe. So God killed Michael Jackson.

How do l feel about him dying? Not bothered at all. It was a bit of a waste (to say the least) as he had it all and then was so fucked up he didn't seem to enjoy it. Who knows if he was really a fiddler - he may well have been, but people will make up any kind of story for a lot of money, so l don't necessarily believe the kids who made the allegations.
The music was brilliant at times, but to me the peak was Billie Jean at the Motown awards. Downhill after that as far as l am concerned. Although he still knocked out some more top tunes,
the music never touched me emotionally. Though, l thought some of it was excellent and clever, and Jacko sure could move, a lot of other music means a lot more to me.
Think it is crap that so many people are buying his records now. If they liked him that much, they should have bought them when he was alive. Let's face it, it seemed as though he needed the money then.
Like a lot of other people, l've got the Jackson 5 stuff, Thiller, Off the Wall and Bad, but l haven't felt the need to play any of them since his death.
Guess l am just more interested in other stuff - like waiting for he new football season to start. Summer is crap without the footie.

Penny Lane: Literal Video Version

Back agin with agreat idea and video! MORE TOMORROW!! hold on to your coats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


toodle pip

I am back (again!)

OK, l have let myself down, the blog down, and anyone who reads the blog down. It is just not good enough, I have been slacking once again and not been posting, even though I keep thinking I will be more regular. I shall give myself a damn good thrashing and try to do better in the future (yeh yeh, all been said before).

Anyhoos - been a busy old weekend. Went to Cambridge for Martin and Carols wedding on Saturday, then drove to south of Oxford where I used to live for a look around and a drive out. Had a great time at the wedding and saw an old school friend on the Sunday that I had not seen for about 35 years (he's in the black next to the fat stripey bloke)

May go into more detail about the weekend at another time, but at least there are some photos to show for now

Stupid Cat in Yogurt Box

I want that cat!!

old footie

I've been watching some old football matches on TV recently and it's amazing how much the game has changed. lt resembles football but from a completely different planet, the pitches are muddy, the tackles flying in (with hardly any bookings), hardly any foreign players and loads of old crowd chants that you don't hear at grounds anymore. Makes me realise how much l miss some of the chanting. Favorites are :
"You're going to get your fucking heads kicked in"
"We'll meet you in the car park"
"We're United, we're mental, we're off our fucking heads"
"Six foot two, eyes of blue, big Jim Holton's after you"
Also the Manchester United song that is "We are United, the cocks of the North. We hate you Scousers, you Cockneys of course (and Leeds)" ls missing the "and Leeds" bit. When did that come in? Seems as though it was always there. The song doesn't sound right now without it.
God l am getting old - still, Manchester United should beat Wigan tonight to nearly win the title. Hopefully clinch it against Arsenal at the weekend, when l will be watching the game in Budapest. Bring it on!
toodle pip

Nearly holiday time (again)

Last day at work coming up tomorrow, then it's a couple of days off before heading off to sunny Budapest. Suppose l had better sort out some funds for the trip (Hungarian Croats?) as it will probably take a bit longer to get the money exchanged. Off to the pictures tomorrow night at work, so it's not exactly going to be difficult work (mind you, depends what the film is like that we decide to see).

May have to cut to grass while l am off, its getting mighty long now, though l am tempted to pay someone to cut it for me. l will see how l feel and what the weather is like this week.
Speaking off which, the six day forecast in the Observer today has it down as fair weather for the next couple of days, then rain for the rest of the week. l still do not believe they can forecast more than 2 or 3 days in advance so l will keep an eye on it. Mind you, it's difficult not to keep an eye on the weather, unless l stay in bed all day, which, let's face it, is always an option.

Only just managed to get onto the computer today as Mandy has had it in constant use doing her Uni work. Gives me ample time to watch footie and read though. Beat Manchester City today and should stuff Wigan on Wednesday. lf that all goes according to plan, it means Manchester United will hopefully win the league against Arsenal while we are in Budapest. Hurrah!

Haven't watched tonight's Reunion of Fawlty Towers yet, just seen some clips. What the hell is wrong with Connie Booth now? She looks like an old grannie with too much white make up on. For Gods sake (there is no God by the way), sort it out!

toodle pip

pass the acid

Very trippy maaaaann

http://www.yooouuutuuube.com/v/?rows=18&cols=18&id=pAwR6w2TgxY&startZoom=1

nozzer

Little Nozzer is still not too good at the moment. His head healed up while l was away so l had to take him to the vets to get him sliced up again, so we could get all of his gunk out. lt's a messy job but someones got to do it. He must be getting sick of it by now, his little leg was vibrating and he was making little squeaking noises. Poor little sod. Only good thing about it is that he does not seem affected by it once he is put on the floor again. Plus l am able to come home from work to see to him, which gives me a break. Still looks a right state though.

Toodle pip

Chelsea Hill

Feels so good watching this again

chelsea v barcelona

Just watched the second leg of the Chelsea v Barcelona game and loved it. Good to see Chelsea so annoyed with the decisions and losing their cool at the end, especially Drogba. Maybe if he had not been such an unlikable, cheating, diving, petulant cry baby, (and yes l do follow Manchester United and people think that of Ronaldo), he may have got the decisions going for him. Brilliant that he didn't. Hope he gets a long suspension for his antics at the end.
Some of the fuss about the penalties was over the top. Jamie Rednap sprouting on about the ref coming from Norway is such a narrow minded view, whether he had a good game or not, he is still an experienced referee who has been officicating international matches for over 10 years and has already refereed loads of Champions League games.

Drogba doesn't do himself any favours. When there was a perfectly good tackle against him in the penalty area which the referee got right, he flung himself around like a cat that had been thrown into a bath. The referee sees that sort of cheating and petulance, and may have doubts later on if Drogba is appealing again, (the only time Drogba is appealing).

l am biased and don't like Chelsea, but some of the stuff the Sky panel were coming out with was unbelievable. They are meant to be experts and get paid a lot of money for their views, but handball has to be deliberate, never mind if the ball is heading towards to goal. elka may or may not have been clipped, but he definitely clipped himself and went down. Drogba got his shirt pulled but then clipped himself and dived in the opposite direction to which he was being pulled. If he had not tried to elaborate on the foul and dive spectacularly, it would probably been given.

It all serves Chelsea right for trying to cheat their way through the first game, with loads of niggly fouls to prevent Barcelona playing (and Henry should have had a definite penalty in the first game).

Although l think Barcelona are the better team and may prove more difficult for Manchester United to beat in the final, l am more than glad they got through. Think f all the stick Manchester United got a few years ago when Stam and Keane were in the referees face. Ballack and Drogba should have action taken against them. Ballack a short ban, Drogba shot.

Toodle pip

mick and keith

The origional Glimmer Twins - Mick and Keith in Albufiera

portugal

Ochos d' Agua

Well, what a surprise. Went to Portugal for a week and had good intentions of writing something every night, but with one thing and another (late nights, vodka and coke etc), didn't write a thing.

Here's the short summary.

Flew into Faro airport and got a taxi to the apartments (Clube Humbria). lt was all inclusive so settled in and got a drink and chilled out in the evening. Stayed at a place called Ochos d' Agua (eyes of the sea) which was pretty quiet and had a nice empty beach (last two photos).

Didn't do a lot during the week, it was mainly lying around in the sun, listening to my ipod and reading (Candide by Voltaire (again!) - great book).

Also went exploring the area nearby, or should l say nearby in a taxi. Vilamoura was expensive looking with a pretty good Marina. Also had Figo and China's bar, a place half owned by Louis Figo, with lots of memorabilia and photos on the walls.

Albufiera was North of us, lots of bars and music so obviously spent a couple of days there.

Apart from that, nothing. Managed to catch all the football when l was out there, first legs of the European cup semi finals, Manchester United v Boro and Barcelona v Real Madrid (6-2). Busy busy busy.

Got a great tan but some of it is peeling off now. l'll have to hit the sunbed to keep it up (ooeer).

Anyhows, l am now back and back at work later on today. Only have six days work before heading of to Budapest, so things aren't too bad at the moment.

Toodle pip

3-1 against the arse

Another great result from the wonderful Manchester United. Have to say l was a bit worried before the game and was kind of expecting a draw, but this was so much better than l anticipated. Good that the first two goals went in so early, which meant l could relax and enjoy the rest of the game from then on.

It's ridiculous that Darren Fletcher cannot appeal against his red card and suspension from the final. he's not exactly having a great year, as it was no so long ago that his house was robbed, with his missus being held at knife point in front of his kids. Hopefully United will be back in the final next year a s well. bring on Barcelona (with a bit of luck), rather play them in the final than Chelsea.

Portugal report and pictures to follow soon.

toodle pip