Thursday, 27 September 2012

recent rain photos


 The road by Tesco's heading towards Richmond from Catterick.  Only just passable on Tuesday


Heading from Catterick Bridge towards Colburn on Wednesday.  This road was closed on Tuesday


 From the TV on Monday.  I think it's Catterick Village green (they just said Catterick green).


 The River Swale at Richmond on Wednesday after it had died down a bit (but was still up)


                                        By the River Swale falls at Richmond on Wednesday


The River Swale falls, again on Wednesday


The River Swale looking towards the main bridge crossing to Catterick on Wednesday  


 The stream at Catterick village on Wednesday. You can see by the bench and table how high it had been.


The Swale inbetween Brompton and Richmond on Wednesday

It sure has been raining a lot in the last few days.  here's some picturs that l took while out and about, which show some of the effects.  Most of the really bad rain and after effects of it had died down by the time of the photos, as it was probably worse on Monday.  Ah well, we will soon have the snow to look forward to, as winter seems a lot closer than summer already.  Bloody weather.

toodle pip

soulboy (2010) - shimmy marcus





It's 1974, Glam rock and crap music is everywhere, but in pursuit of the girl of his dreams, young Joe McCain (Martin Compston) discovers Soul music, rare records, drugs and dance at the Wigan Casino, and let's face it, which cool kid didn't at the time? Sadly, not me, l was still at school and into Glam and Status Quo / Deep Purple, although l made a valiant attempt to catch up and got into Soul music, records and drugs later on (you've got to put the hours in).  Not the best film in the world by a long chalk, but 'Soulboy' does have it's moments, and certainly brought back plenty of memories of that time, including the undercurrent of violence that was always not that far away.  Time for me to get the talcum powder out and bust a few moves (and that's not a euphemism).  Now where did l hide my drugs.....

toodle pip

cleopatra (1963) - joseph mankiewicz







A sprawling epic that is waaay too long, was waaay too expensive and  certainly strayed from  historical accuracy (but was generally correct), Cleopatra was also the film that triggered the Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor romance, and nearly bankrupted 20th Century Fox along the way. Taylor (as a much too pretty Cleopatra) changes her outfits every three seconds (or so it seems), but stays pretty true to the men in her life, Julius Caesar (Rex Harrison), and later Mark Antony (Burton).  Caesar is betrayed and killed by his own senators ('Beware the Ides of March'), and Antony becomes so smitten with Cleopatra he makes poor judgements, leading to an unhappy ending for all.  Some of the set pieces are spectacular, such as Cleopatra's entry into Rome (despite the Arch of Constantine not being there at the time), and the love story itself can't really be faulted, but (I'll repeat) it is waaay, waaay too long, and it could have done with some serious editing.  Thankfully l didn't have to see this at the pictures / the movies / the flicks / the cinema, as, although it could have been done justice on the large screen, the FPO would have missed half of it going to the toilet, and l'd be complaining of a numb bum  (not for the first time).
However, it's still an extravagant enjoyable waste of your afternoon (if you are sitting comfortably at home).  Also featuring a young Richard O'Sullivan and an excellent Roddy McDowall!

toodle pip

jaws as a disney movie



Clever stuff - Jaws presented as though it was a Disney movie.  Heartwarming stuff for all the family.

toodle pip

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

google underwater 'street' maps


Google 'street maps' have just got a whole lot better, as today, they have launched their underwater maps, which they hope will eventually cover as much of the sea bed as they can, plus highlighting changing eco systems as they go.  This is Wilson Island, part of the Great Barrier Reef at sunset, and can be explored here.  Now l don't have to leave the house if l don't want to, which will be useful when my heart, knees, mind and back go and l start crapping my pants (which let's face it, can't be long).  Technology - it's great!

toodle pip

the A1 closed due to rain


The A1 flooded at Catterick on Monday


Looking south from Catterick Village bridge on Wednesday


Looking north from Catterick Village bridge on Wednesday

The non existant traffic on the A1 looking north and south from the Bridge at Catterick Village (North Yorkshire).  The road is closed off due to the heavy rain that has stopped the FPO going to work for two days (while l only have to go 4 miles, so l got in OK). Damn!

toodle pip

1 to 100 in 150 seconds



Kanaal van Filmersblog says:

"In October 2011 I started documenting people in the city of Amsterdam, approaching them in the street and asking them to say their age in front of the camera. My aim was to 'collect' a group of 100 people, from age 0 to 100. At first my collection grew fast but slowed down when it got down to the very young and very old. The young because of sensivity around filming or photographing children and the very old because they don't get out of the house much. I found my very old 'models' in care homes and it was a privilege to document these -often vulnerable- people for this project. I had particular problems finding a 99 year-old. (Apparently 100 year-olds enjoy notoriety, but a 99 year-old is a rare species...) And when I finally did find one, she refused to state her age. She simply denied being 99 years old! But finally, some 4 months after I recorded my first 'age', I was able to capture the 'missing link' and conclude this project".  (from Boing Boing)

Interesting stuff, and it's also interesting hearing all the dutch accents.
Old age - it's a bummer (as the kids used to say).

toodle pip

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

area 51 viewers guide


Glenn Campbell (not that one) has made his viewers guide to Area 51 (out in the Nevada desert) available for free online at his blog.  In case you are one of the few people who do not know the story, it's a (meant to be secret) United States Air Force base next to the dried out Groom lake, where an alien spacecraft (UFO) is supposed to have been kept after it allegedly crashed at Roswell.  There is an industry around this 'event' and trips out there from Las Vegas, so this book could be of some use to you if you are planning on heading that way.  Watch out for 'The Man' as it is guarded pretty vigorously, and they are allowed to use 'deadly  force', although you are more likely to be moved or fined.

toodle pip


Monday, 24 September 2012

george best out on the town


I'll admit that George Best is probably modelling clothes in this shot, but it's not far away from what his nights out would have been like at the time, but with plenty of drink added  to the mix.  Not that l ever need a reason to stick up a picture of Georgie (as l called him).  He certainly looked pretty cool back then, and had it all.

toodle pip

realistic animal face t shirts







These hyper realistic dog, cat and pig t-shirts are amazingly life like and look kind of spooky.  There are plenty of them for sale on Amazon, such as this one, and l may have to invest in the pig one for Dazzer, my member of the filth in law (it's an ongoing joke).  I've got my eye on a possible rabbit one, which will freak out the FPO, and probably scare the shit out of Tubbs, our real idiot rabbit (not that he has any problem producing shit).

toodle pip

world's greatest dad (2009) - bobcat goldthwait








Robin Williams plays Lance Clayton, an aspiring but rejected writer (ironically the 'World's Greatest Dad' of the title)  the who teaches at the same school that Kyle, his son goes to.  His son is a mean spirited, selfish, porn obsessed prat who pours scorn on everything, including his downtrodden father.  However, after Kylie accidentally kills himself while practising Autoerotic Asphyxiation (badly), Lance adjusts the scene to make it look as though he had hanged himself, and writes a fake suicide note, in which he (supposedly Kylie) rages against the fakes and phonies.  This is a smash hit with other children at the school when it is posted by a pupil on the internet, and Kylie becomes a saint like figure to them.  Lance then writes a fake journal in his sons name, which is also a smash, whereupon it all starts to get really out of hand.  When a library at the school is to be named in Kylie's honour, Lance eventually faces up to what is happening, and cracks.  It's a black comedy with not a lot of laughs, but worth watching, especially if you don't mind lots of potty mouthed language (which l don't).  If you do - avoid this, as there is plenty of it.

toodle pip

I, partridge - steve coogan


I, Partridge is written 'in character' as if the TV shows such as 'The Day Today' that featured Alan Partridge were genuine, and has some genuinely funny moments that certainly made me chortle.  It got a bit dull towards the end and could maybe have been a bit shorter, but it was a change to read an 'autobiography' such as this. You don't have to be a great fan of Steve Coogan or the Alan Partridge TV shows to benefit from this, as it stands alone as an amusing journey through the land of TV, radio, and celebrity.  It also sheds some light on the 'reality and façade' of stars such as Dale Winton, which were some of the funniest parts.  Top stuff, but still not as good as Tom Baker's autobiography, which is hilarious and moving (a lethal combination).

toolde pip

civil disturbances book from 1975






I had better keep this well away from my brother in law, as he is a copper and will no doubt be wanting to practise the butt stroke on me (and not for the first time).  It's the United States Army Civil Disturbances information book from 1975, and is full of useful tips to keep the riff raff (like me) in their place.  More about it and the whole book as a PDF can be found here.

toodle pip

the breast washer



Science.  It has an answer to just about anything eventually, as demonstrated with this marvellous device for the ladies.  A breast washer.
I take off my hat to the man (and let's face it, it's bound to have been a man) who came up with this.  Pure genius.

toodle pip

cola, mints and a condom



Add mints to Coca Cola, and tape a condom to the top.  Then supply an amusing foreign commentary.  Result.

toodle pip

more on hillsborough by when saturday comes


After the Liverpool v Manchester United game went off without a hitch yesterday, the first game at Anfield for Liverpool since the recent revelations about the cover ups and lies surrounding the Hillsborough disaster was a dignified event as far as both clubs and supporters were concerned, with tributes, balloons and songs  (and a lucky win for United).

There has been an awful lot written about the report, the deaths, the police, government and fans in the last week or so (and over the last 20 odd years), but the rather splendid 'When Saturday Comes' football magazine got it spot on in the issue immediately after the event, back in 1989.  It deserves reading in full, and l have pasted it below.  Let's hope the guilty parties are punished for their roles in this, but sadly, l don't hold up much hope.

Here's their write up

Like you, we have read a hell of a lot about Hillsborough over the last couple of weeks. We quickly reached saturation point, partly because there are a limited number of ways in which the same points can be made without becoming repetitious and partly because so many stupid things have been said. One thing deserves to be reiterated, however. The deaths of 90 people (*) at a football ground in Sheffield were not just another tragic accident. Instead, they were a predictable consequence of the fact that the people who run English football have stumbled from one crisis to another without evolving a coherent, consistent policy to deal with any specific problem. The rise to public prominence of the FSA and the spread of the independent magazines has encouraged the belief that supporters might finally get the opportunity to wield some influence on the way football is administered in this country. An incident such as this demonstrates both the urgent need for such a development and the amount of work that still needs to be done. Slow progress is being made but nothing has really changed. The individuals who run football clubs with, in many cases, breathtaking incompetence, continue to manifest total disdain for football fans. Periodically, the cast-list is shaken up — new additions to the familiar clutch of pompous businessmen seeking personal aggrandisement — but the attitudes are as entrenched as ever. The same policemen adopt the same aggressive attitude to football, insisting that it should be treated as a public order problem rather than a form of entertainment. The same prejudice is attached to all football fans, deemed to be passive accomplices to the sociopathic minority. The police see us as a mass entity, fuelled by drink and a single-minded resolve to wreak havoc by destroying property and attacking one another with murderous intent. Containment and damage limitation is at the core of the police strategy. Fans are treated with the utmost disrespect. We are herded, cajoled, pushed, and corralled into cramped spaces, and expected to submit passively to every new indignity. The implication is that “normal” people need to be protected from the football fan. But we are normal people. “The Football Fan” is not an easily defined social stereotype, whatever the tabloid cartoonists may choose to believe. All manner of people go to football matches. A few of them are intent on unleashing aggressive instincts which are also manifested in wine bars on a Saturday night or in tourist hotels on the Costa Del Sol. Thuggish behaviour is rarely reported in any detail when it can't be directly linked to a football match. Football is being made the scapegoat for a society brutalised over the last decade. Yet, a proportion of law officers are afflicted with the same oafish sensibility that is exhibited by a minority of fans. Since this magazine first appeared, we have regularly received letters complaining about specific police actions. The correspondence has come from a broad spectrum of our readership and builds up into a weighty indictment of general policing policy at football matches over the last three years. A large proportion of the Liverpool supporters who angrily spoke out against the police tactics at Hillsborough will have had previous bad experiences which served to further fuel their sense of grievance. Fans and the police have developed a prejudiced view of one another that has served only to create barriers that are of as much significance as the perimeter fencing. Then there are the administrators. Their attitude is one of utter incomprehension and cowardice. They don't stick up for football supporters because they basically neither understand nor like them. The FA have abdicated any responsibility for the events of Hillsborough in typical fashion. Faced with crisis and degeneration, they have failed to take positive steps to resuscitate the game. They have obstructed change where it was proposed by the powerless (the fans) but prostrated themselves before a political establishment that would be quite happy to see the game destroyed. Complaints about safety and comfort were ignored because they were being made by supporters. Official action will be taken now, because the same points previously raised by fans are now being made by the government and the media. Their stupidity and cowardice over a long period of time allowed Hillsborough to happen. Symptomatic of their paralysis is the frequency with which a certain phrase crops up in their public pronouncements. We are informed, with wearying regularity, that football needs to "put its house in order'". This is, of course, a laughably imprecise phrase, intended to imply a commitment to resolute action. Needless to say, it means absolutely nothing. Clubs have to accept a proportion of the blame. They own the fences and turnstiles that helped to cause the disaster. Sheffield Wednesday officials seemed to believe that, in an emergency, it would be possible to evacuate a large number of people thorough a tiny gate in the perimeter fencing. They and their colleagues at other League grounds across the country insult loyal, put-upon customers with the pathetic standard of amenities on offer. They have failed to develop long-term strategies that rely on anything beyond glib slogans about families and the importance of sponsors. The executive box holders get central heating and smoked glass but the huddled majority don't deserve even an unobstructed view and a roof. There is very little common sense applied to football. In no other area of life is the victim treated with as much disrespect as the perpetrator, nor the majority held to be guilty of the crimes perpetrated by a minority. But, ultimately, what happens to us doesn't matter. It is our own fault for being football fans. That is why MPs always ignored pleas from supporters' organisations seeking to prevent the sort of disaster that has become a reality. Whatever they may say, few politicians gave any indication that they cared about football fans before Hillsborough happened. Suddenly everyone knows the answer. A fortnight ago, they didn't even hear the question. It didn't take very long for Hillsborough to become our fault. Indeed, initial reports pinned blame on supporters who were believed to have broken down a gate. Later, as the analysts set to work, blame was heaped upon the large number of fans who arrived without tickets. Then the police's press department piped up, revealing that many were drunk and generally doing all the things that fans are famous for. Had the television cameras not been present to record the disaster as it unfolded, many people would have unquestioningly accepted the garbage that has been pumped out by some of the tabloid hacks. Fans have been both the prophesiers and the victims of Hillsborough, but who believes that they will be invited to play an active part in solving the problems that it highlighted? We will be obliged to meekly accept the remedy offered. Standing has been proved to be bad for us, so we must sit. Stadiums in urban areas are, without exception. unsafe places for large numbers of people to congregate, so, for the common good, all teams will eventually be required set up home on industrial estates in the middle of nowhere. Better still, we are to pay for the changes that are required, despite the huge burdens already endured and the fact that the government takes vast sums of money from the game. By the time this issue appears, the deaths of those Liverpool fans will have become just another "great story" disgorged by a media which revelled in one of the few disasters that happened live in front of the world's press. After a couple of weeks, there isn't much mileage to be derived from sombre proclamations that "It must never be allowed to happen again". Of course, it will be allowed to happen again. The ID Cards bill with provisions that almost guarantee that such a tragedy will be repeated is to be pushed through nonetheless. No surprise there. Even after the Zeebrugge sinking, dangerous ferries are sailing the Channel, and on the London Underground, safety of passengers takes primacy only over ensuring that the chocolate machines are functioning adequately. Some football officials smugly assert that such a disaster couldn't happen at their clubs. What they really mean is that now it has happened to someone else, odds are that it won't recur for a little while. It is less the Safety of Sports Grounds, but, rather, the Law of Averages that they see as adequate protection for their customers. Disasters are happening so regularly now that we have developed a meaningless set of pseudo-religious rituals to acknowledge them. As has been clear for a long time, no disaster is worthy of the name until leading religious and political figures are officially informed and have given suitably trite quotes to the press. This immediate reaction is followed by The Visit. The seniority of the visitor is determined by media interest and death toll, and is, of course, performed primarily for the benefit of those clicking cameras. Survivors' stories are served up in tandem with chilling reminders of how easily death can take any of us. All such rituals, crassly inappropriate in the main because they are so formularised, are supposed to make us feel that a mixture of fate and circumstance was ultimately to blame. The key ritual of this organised disinformation is an inquiry. “Experts” are called forth (in this instance, few people other than football fans have any relevant expertise to offer). After accusations are made and refuted, a report is produced and the cheapest and most politically expedient bits form part of a new law. The rest is made voluntary. Identification of the real culprits is lost amid desperate, scurrying attempts to avoid blame. The same people who indignantly call for the fences to be torn down now are the same ones who demanded that they should be put up in the first place. Thanks were duly said for there not having been any perimeter fences at Bradford, but no long-term lessons were learned from that fire. Superficial responses were the order of the day. This is why it isn't all that surprising that the government wants to continue with the dangerous ID cards. It has weathered a sufficient number of crises to know that concern passes very quickly. They obviously reason that all will run smoothly if they can only hang on until something else is on the front pages. However, the ham-fisted attempts to bolster prejudices against football fans through the front pages of the Sun has rather backfired this time. Once more, everyone is offering opinions on the game and its followers. Can it ever be the same again? Should it continue at all? A number of journalists have trotted out their "I'll never go again" line, much as they did after Heysel. It seems that any measure is justifiable in the wake of Hillsborough and some sort of punishment seems to be the accepted solution. The prime minister has no expertise to offer in this situation. She is blindly determined to act, and to be seen to act in accordance with her public image. She has nothing to say and yet remains shrilly determined to emphasise the fact. Most of what we have outlined here has been said before. Some of it is repetitious, because football fans have gone on at considerable length in the past about most of these issues. To no avail. No one listens. Perhaps they won't listen now, because after all, we are only supporters. We derive no pleasure from saying any of this. We would much rather crawl into a corner and forget about football for a few weeks, but that isn't possible.
 (*) This was the death toll at the time of writing

toodle pip

Sunday, 23 September 2012

tom jones and janis joplin



Tom Jones and Janis Joplin together, singing 'Raise your Hand' in 1969.  What's not to like?

toodle pip

Saturday, 22 September 2012

my hitch hiking / gay or bi story


I put this up on the Afterword site, so l thought l might as well share it here as well.
Enjoy!

I used to hitch hike all over the place when l was younger, and it's how l discovered l am not bi or gay. I was picked up outside Catterick (oop North) by a lorry driver on the way to that there London, as l was off to see Status Quo in 1977. I was a pretty long haired boy at the time, so he may have thought l was a girl when he stopped for me in the dark. Outside London, he stopped for 'a rest' and got into his bunk (behind me) for 'a sleep' while l stayed in the front seats. After a short time he said he was turned on, and would l give him a wank. Not a question l got asked everyday, but as l was into T.Rex a lot when l was younger (and loved Bolan), plus eager to try most things, l thought 'What the Hell, l may even like it and may actually be gay or bi'. I leant back and did the deed, and after he had finished (I must have been good), he offered to wank me off. That was the precise moment l realised it didn't do anything for me, and l wasn't interested in other blokes in any sexual way. As you can imagine, this tale goes down a treat in the pub, as l will tell anyone prepared to listen, and am encouraged to do so by my mates. I'm not ashamed of it, I got to see the mighty Quo, and the lorry driver had his wank and didn't kill me, so it was a result for all concerned. Happy days.

toodle pip

Friday, 21 September 2012

old spurs programmes









I got these programmes through the post the other day by mistake, as the guy was meant to send them to someone else, but he had got confused as l had also ordered some stuff from him. Both are for Tottenham Hotspur games (against Luton Town and Torpedo club Moscow).  They have been returned, but it's amazing how much programmes have changed since the days these came out (in 1957 and 1959).  I've got programmes from the early 1960's, but they are still related to the programmes of today.  These however, are just four sheets of paper each.  I've got better ones than this for Oxford United friendlies in the 1970's.
I also bet there were a lot of hats, rattles and rosettes on display at the games, and no hooligans.  Then again. it was only 12 and 14 years after the Second World War, which is no time at all.  Perhaps paper was short.  Now it's gone too far the other way, and l don't bother with modern programmes, as they are too expensive and glossy for my (old git) liking.  I'd rather get a fanzine nowadays, as there's better content and more to read most of the time, and at least they are independent.  Then again, l've also pretty much stopped going to games, so what the hell does it matter (and on the same subject - what does anything matter in the great scheme of things?). Time for another lie down.

toodle pip