baloo the bear and keith richards

I try to live my life as an amalgamation of the two.

toodle pip

bloody big spider at work

This sodding thing was on the wall at work last night when l was on a sleepover. I managed to trap it and send it to a watery death (after shaking it for a while), but l had it on my mind all night and didn't get a lot of sleep, as l thought there must be more of the buggers. It was big, very, very big. In fact, l would be as bold to say it is the largest one l have seen for probably 10 years or so. I nearly crapped myself catching it.

BASTARDS!

toodle pip

free the amish eight!

The Amish men in the top picture are from Kentucky. They have all been fined for refusing to put a reflector on the bag of their buggies like on the buggy above (their religion forbids bright colours) and have been jailed for not paying the fines.

They won't last two minutes in the slammer - look at how tall they all are (between about 5'3'' and 5'9''). Plus those beards give the other prisoners something to grab hold of.

Surely if the their Lord was on their side, he would have made them taller.

That's why l belong to Eric (and am a strapping 6' exactly - De Vinci's perfect Vitrivuin man).

Amen and praise the Good Lord Eric.

toodle pip

casino royale (1953) - ian flemming

The first James Bond book l have ever read! I saw the film a while ago, and was not that impressed. I thought it dragged on a bit as it was too long, and although l know the typical audience loves explosions/car chases etc, l couldn't wait for it to finish (I was at the cinema). I thought the book was a lot better, and much more up my street, as there was more about Bond's thoughts and misgivings. It also portrayed him as a man who has weaknesses (along with being a cold blooded killer of course). He does not run around knocking people off (unless you count Vesper), and he is also sexist and ruthless with women (until of course, he falls in love and becomes a big softie). He plays at the Casino, survives a couple of assassination attempts, gets abducted and tortured, but does not kill anyone, although he describes a couple of earlier killings. A lot different from the films, l'm sure you will agree.

Plus Daniel Craig played Bond in the Casino Royale film, and everyone knows that Sean Connery is the best Bond.

toodle pip

indiana jones spider tee shirt

Er....I don't think l will be making a purchase of this in the near future.

toodle pip

jimmy carter self improvement - the observer

There was a really good piece on Jimmy Carter in The Observer at the weekend, which can be found here. He was one of the better USA presidents, sadly bought down by (amongst other things) The Iran Hostage situation . Operation Eagle Claw, commanded by Charlie Beckwith, failed in it's mission to bring back the hostages, and Beckwith has a book (Delta Force) about the operation, in which he praises Carter for taking the blame and not trying to hide behind his decisions, or appropriate blame elsewhere. Ronald Reagan followed Carter as president in 1981, and the day after, the hostages were released. Bastards.

The main bit in the article that got to me though, was he and his wife read the bible to each other at night time. No..... hold on....that's not the whole story....they read it to each other in Spanish, as they are trying to self improve.

Jimmy Carter is 86.

toodle pip

blow in her face

Old adverts - aren't they great?

toodle pip

the liverpool spider and the london elephant

These kind of art shows are fantastic. The reason l have them in my mind, is l have just seen a documentary about the Liverpool Spider (La Princesse), which was put on by Artichoke (who also did The London Sultan's Elephant). It costs a lot of money to put these things on (£1.8 million for the Liverpool one), but as somebody said in the crowd, it's only about £1 per person but it brings in a lot of revenue, and gives pride and joy to the people. I also love the Antony Gormley 'Another Place' figures at Crosby (Bootle beach as l know it) and 'The Angel of The North' in Gateshead (also by Gormley). The only thing l don't like, is the fact that some of the people behind the scenes will be getting paid a hell of money to lunch and commission them (and local workmen should be used to build them). Still fucking great though!

toodle pip

the scouting book for boys (2009) - tom harper

Decided to give this film a go as it starred Thomas Turgoose, who has been in a few other things l have enjoyed (This is England, This is England 86, Somers Town), and it/he did not let me down. Turgoose plays his usual put upon adolescent role, and l had to stick on on the old subtitles as l couldn't follow all the Norfolk brogue (l'm getting old you know - the hearing's going and l'm turning demented), but the film was a pleasant surprise (although not very pleasant). Two young friends hang around together until she runs away. The police hunt for her and suspect an older friend of theirs has abducted her. It does not have a happy ending.

The actual book of 'Scouting For Boys' features in the film, which is the second time l have seen it in a few days, as it was also shown on 'QI', which made me think about reading it (the 1908 version that tells you how to deal with suicides, skin animals etc), as it is something l have never seen before (disadvantaged childhood and all that). Now l will definitely get a copy (and go hunting cattle and sustain myself by living off the land). On second thoughts - too many spiders about to be living outdoors.

toodle pip

some portugal photographs

Cliff Richard's wine overlooking the sea

The village where we stayed

The name of our villa

Church on the hill when we went to the market

Sporting club of Portugal bar

Lager, wine and peanuts outside the Bang Bang bar

At the seaside

Relaxing by our pool

A cold drink to have with my mackerel

The sky at night outside Osbourne's Bar

Reflection of Robbo in our pool

Statues at a roundabout by Faro

Drinks on the plane

I got round to sorting out some photographs from the i flip this evening, so here are a few of them. Food, drink and sun.....bliss.

toodle pip

mexican pointed boots

These my friends, are what you call proper hardcore boots, as worn by those crazy Mexicans. Very good for kicking people up the bum (literally).

toodle pip

medicine the old fashioned way

I think our local chemist has stopped selling this while l have been away. I certainly got a funny look asking for some today (and kicked out of the shop). What is the world coming to?

toodle pip

swimming the old fashioned jersey way

1910

1904

These are from the Jersey shore in 1904 and 1910.

I am so glad the beaches in Portugal were not as crowded as this. How on earth can they enjoy themselves? I would want to take a machine gun to them all (or set some sharks loose).

toodle pip

unfortunate photograph angle

Oh dearie me.

toodle pip

whatever works (2009 ) - woody allen

I have grown into a fan of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', in which Larry David is superb, albeit playing an exaggerated version of himself (season 8 starting this weekend!).

I am also a fan of Woody Allen, he has done some great films in the past, plus some of his stand up and stories used to be really funny.

This however, l nearly switched off half way through. It is not a good Woody Allen film, and Larry David does not have such a good role as he does in 'Curb'. It's not that funny, not that romantic, and not that good of a story.

Boris, an old cranky man (David), meets and marries a young girl (Evan Rachel Wood), then her mom comes to town, followed by her father. Everyone changes and life is random.

Whooooopppie!

It's a good job l have plenty of spare time on my hands at the moment, or l would be really pissed off with the two hours l wasted watching this.

Christ, l sound like Boris in the movie (and nearly as old).

toodle pip

the boston strangler (1968) - richard fleischer

This is based on the book by , starring Tony Curtis as Albert DeSalvo (The Boston Strangler). I have never read the book, but there were a lot of inaccuracies in the film compared to the real life case, however, l enjoyed it anyway. There were a lot of split screen shots and reflections in glass, obviously to enforce the split personality the film portrays DeSalvo as having. Curtis was excellent, as was Henry Fonda, playing the chief detective John S Bottomly. It was dated and old looking, with lots of false leads (which is fine by me), but l would have preferred it if it had stuck to the known facts of the case, including it's inconclusive element, but that's the movies for you.

Nearly forgot, l also thought it gave Peter Hurkos way too much credibility, portraying him as unnervingly accurate, although he was still wrong. Balderdash l say!

toodle pip.

comedy overload - sean lock - rich hall and bill hicks

Myself and the FPO have been catching up on TV recorded while away, including live concerts from Sean Lock, Rich Hall and Bill Hicks (we like our comedy!). She was not too keen on the Bill Hicks stuff, and Sean Lock was OK (she found him funnier than l did), but Rich Hall was excellent, especially when he is singing as his Otis Lee Crenshaw alter ego. I am a big fan of Bill Hicks myself, in fact l also watched American - The Bill Hicks Story afterwards (alone), but agree that he sometimes spends too much time trying to put over a political point, rather than being funny (a bit like Lenny Bruce did towards the end). Rich Hall was definitely the funniest of these shows, he had us both crying with laughter, and we have re-watched the show again since. Both droll and unexpected, marvellous stuff.

toodle pip