catcher in the rye - j.d salinger

Still with the Majorca stuff, this is a book that gets some bad publicity, and with good reason. It's protagonist, Holden Caulfield, is one winging spoilt (yet intelligent) kid who is on a downward spiral and who whines about everything, especially the people and things he deems to be ''phony'. After being expelled from school, he returns to New York, stays in a hotel, and gets in trouble. He visits his family home to see Phoebe (his younger sister) and wants to preserve her innocence (he worships and admires her, as she does with him). He eventually realises he cannot save children from running through the rye and falling off a cliff, (the catcher in the rye bit). This is through mishearing Robert Burns' Comin' Through the Rye . Holden realises he is sick and ends up in some kind of institute, although he states that he is to start school again. This was a lot better when l read it as a teenager, and l can see why someone disturbed such as Mark Chapman (who shot John Lennon) could take it at face value and act disproportionally, but reading it as an older person, you just want to slap him (Holdon). OK, l know he is ill and all that, but still....

Robert Burns (1759-1796)

Comin' Through The Rye

O, Jenny's a' weet,^[A] poor body,
Jenny's seldom dry:
She draigl't^[B] a' her petticoatie,
Comin thro' the rye!

Chorus:
Comin thro' the rye, poor body,
Comin thro' the rye,
She draigl't a' her petticoatie,
Comin thro' the rye!

Gin^[C] a body meet a body
Comin thro' the rye,
Gin a body kiss a body,
Need a body cry?

(chorus)

Gin a body meet a body
Comin thro' the glen,
Gin a body kiss a body,
Need the warl'^[D] ken?^[E]

(chorus)

Gin a body meet a body
Comin thro' the grain;
Gin a body kiss a body,
The thing's a body's ain.

(chorus)

Ev'ry Lassie has her laddie,
Nane, they say, have I,
Yet all the lads they smile on me,
When comin' thro' the rye.

• ^A weet - wet
• ^B draigl't - draggled
• ^C gin - if, should
• ^D warl - world
• ^E ken - know

toodle pip

brave new world - aldous huxley

More Majorca stuff. I have obviously known about this book for years but had never got around to reading it, but it was pretty good. a bit clichéd with the names (Bernard Marxs, Polly Trotsky etc), and also a bit stilted, but l enjoyed it. A tale of the future when everything is regulated and in order, people are preconditioned for certain roles and sorted by caste, and soma is taken for enjoyment. However Bernard is dissatisfied with this and visits the Malpais in the Savage Reservation, from where he brings back John. It does not end happily.

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the double - fyodor dostoyevsky

One of the books l read while l was in Majorca (in between the hard work). I like Fyodor Dostoevsky's tales and at least this one was short. The main character, sees a double of himself and very quickly loses his sanity. Lots of unpredictable actions, free association gibberish and rambling from 'the hero of the story', until he is finally carted away. Similar to work by Nikolai Gogol, especially The Nose, which l thought was great when l read it about 20 years ago (in fact l remember starting to read it on a bus into Northallerton). I still wish the Russian names were a bit shorter though. Next up for holiday reading,The Idiot and The Brothers Karamazov.They should keep me busy and out of mischief.

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the 'original' forest gump with james stewart and marlon brando

Clever work by Ivan Guerrero ( http://whoiseyevan.carbonmade.com/)

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old sugar packets

To continue with the collecting strange theme, here's some old sugar packets

collected by ussiwojima which can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/41606952@N07/tags/sugar/

I already have a few myself, so this is a collection l could be cracking on with.

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old bread wrappers

I could easily go crazy and collect all sorts of junk (the FPO reckons l do already), but this is a new collection l would not have thought of accumulating. Old bread wrappers. Pretty cool looking and much better than the crappy wrappers we have nowadays.

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majorca scans

Obviously as l was hard at work, l did not frequent, witness, involve myself or participate in any of the above. l was somewhere else at the time guv - honest.

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the borneo rainbow toad is rediscovered

The last time someone saw one of these was in 1924. It's a colourful little bugger.

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sarcastic man praises the orlando police department

The Orlando police have been arresting people who have been feeding the homeless, and there have been protests about their actions. This man turned up with a sign supporting the police, but is outrageously sarcastic when questioned by a TV crew. A really great idea and well pulled off.

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taxidermy gone wrong

I have a friend who used to be a taxidermist and is pretty damn good at it (Colin Moore knows the score). However, when a bad taxidermist is involved, the results are not always what was expected.

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saucy weather illustration from usa today

To continue with the warm weather theme, this is from USA today. Whoever designed this must have known what they were doing. How it got passed is another thing.

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working in majorca

It does not look very hot in the photos, but trust me, it was. All went well and l am now pretty damn brown, although l am also peeling a bit (Damn!). I would like to say it was hard work, but it was not too bad and l managed to get a lot of reading done and also listened to a few things on the old ipod. It was the second time l have been to Sa Coma with work, but it will probably be the last for a while, as there are plenty of other places to see. I was away for eight days, so it is good to be back home again, back to staying up late, the bleeding rain, idiot animals and the FPO. Back at work again today, but not long until the weekend (l've got a long weekend off) and not long until we are off to Portugal for a personal holiday at the end of August. Here's counting....

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hello (hello) l'm back again

Oh yes - l'm back again (Goodness gracious!)

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last post before majorca

I am off to Majorca for a week away with work later on today (but l am not in bed yet and l have to be up at about 5am - idiot that l am). I probably won't post while l am away, as l know it might be difficult to comprehend, but l am not that sad. To compensate, here's a picture of me in Turkey last year (l think it was last year, it could be the year before). I am the messianic figure bossing the place (alpha male number 1). Don't get too excited (or non-pulsed) about my absence.

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a strange man with a cat on his head

What more could you want?

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johan huibers building a replica ark - 2012 olympics

The half sized version

Johan Huibers, the carpenter man himself (not Jesus)

The full sized version

A reporter in front of the full sized version!

A giraffe on the front of the half sized version!

A Dutch self employed carpenter, Johan Huibers, has been making a full sized version of Noah's ark http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43492787/ns/today-today_people/t/meet-man-whos-re-creating-noahs-ark/), after previously making one that was half size (http://creation.com/one-man-and-a-vision-johan-huibers-ark-builder-in-netherlands). Only stuffed animals are on board (apart from some chickens), but it looks impressive. It should be sailing up the Thames for the 2012 Summer Olympics if all goes according to plan. There must be some serious money involved in it all (the half sized one was open for tourists).

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but l certainly don't remember him building the Ark himself. I guess I'll have to brush up on my Bible reading.

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the news of the world closing

I was amazed when l found out that the paper was to close after this Sundays copy, but l am also a bit pissed off about it. The people at the top are the ones that need to go first, but most of the News Of The World workers would have done bugger all wrong and are just trying to make a living. Andy Coulson (the former editor) has been arrested and bailed, but David Cameron must have known he was dodgy when he employed him as his communications officer. Coulson either knew what was going on at the paper and sanctioned it, or he was incompetent if he did not know. The same goes for Rebekah Wade / Brook. This was also (whether you like it or not) a great British institution, over 160 years old (it started in 1843 as a cheap working class paper), which has been bought, taken down market and then finished off by a rich Australian. Let's face it, Rupert Murdoch (or someone on his behalf working for the News Corporation) will just start another Sunday paper with a lot of the old staff, and then carry on regardless. The way to hit him hardest is not just by boycotting his wares or advertisers pulling out, it's to prevent him having a monopoly on broadcasting. He should be deemed not a 'fit and proper person', but there is no way that is going to happen with everyone toadying up to him and cosying up to each other. Ed Miliband is no better. He should reject the Murdoch get togethers, stop trying to be mates with the powerful newspaper owners, get stuck in with some hard hitting policies, and give the opposition a good kicking while it is down, but that is also not going to happen. Ed Milliband will not win an election for the Labour Party (hows that for a forecast?), whereas l think his brother would have done. Oh for the glory days of Tony Blair sweeping into power first time around...

Now where is my Euro millions win so l can bugger off?

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the plainsman (1936)

The film poster

Wild Bill and Buffalo Bill as depicted in the film

This is who played Calamity Jane

The real Buffalo Bill in 1875

The real Wild Bill in 1869

The real Calamity Jane in 1895

Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, this film has everything you want from a western, including Wild Bill Hickok (played by Gary Cooper), Buffalo Bill Cody, Calamity Jane (Jean Arthur), General George Custer, and Abraham Lincoln. It also name checks the 'Go West' newspaper headline, Lincoln's assassination and the Battle of the Little Bighorn. Wild Bill is shot while playing cards, plus there is a love story between Wild Bill and Calamity (and a bromance between the two Bills). It has lots of overacting and an astonishing presentation of the western timeline, as Old Cecil (as l call him) just chucks in all the historical events so that they occur at about the same time. Plus most of the story is unbelievable and never happened. Brilliant and crap at the same time, what more could you ask for?

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noel gallagher press conference - july 7 2011

Noel Gallagher is back with two new albums. Here's yesterdays press conference about them.

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peter griffin loves surfer bird

I have got to sort out my TV filming and get it straight and steady, as l have obviously just been experimenting with it. On the other hand, here's some more Family Guy, featuring The Trashmen's 'Surfin' Bird'. A classic song and a couple of great lines right at the end of the clip.

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jesus grants a wish

Brian's face at the end is excellent (if you don't already know, he fancies Lois)

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