the new book by keith richards

l am looking forward to getting the new Keith Richards autobiography next week (if not sooner), even though it will have a load of dodgy tales in it that may not all be true.

There is no way it can ever be as good as fans of his want, but anything is better than nothing.

On the Stones front, here's some before and after pics of them.

Old age - what a bummer.

toodle pip

jose was right about wayne rooney

Very insightful from Jose, but l am still pissed off with Rooney (or his advisers) for slagging off the club and players. I hope he still scores and plays well for United, as my love for them overrides everything, but, like Ronaldo, he has now blown it for me. He could have been up there with the Best, Laws, Hughes and Cantonas and become a legend. Now there's just a sour taste in the mouth.

Scouse money grabbing bastard

toodle pip

is thatcher dead yet

What a great site this is- simple, yet straight to the point.

l'm stocking up on the party poppers.

http://www.isthatcherdeadyet.co.uk/

And l don't care that she is now a frail old lady - you reap what you sow (the old 'no such thing as society' witch)

toodle pip

how to pet a kitty

If you desire a poster of this, go to :

http://shop.theoatmeal.com/products/how-to-pet-a-kitty-poster

toodle pip

rooney not signing

So it looks like Wayne Rooney will not be signing a new contract at Manchester United and wants to leave, even though (according to Sir Alex on MUTV today) there had been no falling out between them.

Personally, l think Manchester United should just offer £50,000 a week max to everyone, as let's face it, that is still a ridiculous amount of money for a (probably working class) footballer to be earning.

If players don't want to sign for United and decide to go elsewhere for more money, l say fuck 'em, let them go. I would rather have someone playing for the love of the club rather than a mercenary just after a large pay packet.

It's also about time the pay came down as the amount players earn is obscene.

If the pay ceiling also means United don't win everything, so what? It's about principles, the same as l would rather see United attacking and trying to win games, even if this sometimes meant losing. Rather that than become a team like '1-0 to the Arsenal'.

Good luck to Blackpool for sticking to £10,000 a week wages. l really hope they stay up because of it. In fact the pay should be £10,000 at United as well, bugger the £50,000. If players started out knowing they would be getting paid £10,000 a week for playing football, they would snap it up and still consider themselves lucky.

l'd make them travel to the ground on the bus as well - pampered bastards.

toodle pip

new album sleeves

toodle pip

walking the bloody dog by the swale

Went to see the relatives yesterday at their caravan by the river Swale, outside Richmond. Only popped up for an hour or so as there was a few people there, but got lumbered into taking Bill's dog for a walk (and po-po) as Bill was doing some woodwork/carpentry around the caravan with Ken. My, how l complained all the way round, l could have gone for the same kind of walk a couple of hundred yards from where l live. Still, it's putting the hours in and remaining as The Golden Child. Called into the Co-op on the way home for some food and bottles of wine (Arniston Bay, red, 2009), and for a change, we didn't even drink them all. Better to have too many bottles than too few though.

toodle pip

fermats last theorem and the collatz conjuncture

I really need to get out more and get a life. I went to bed last night thinking about The Collatz Conjuncture,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collatz_conjecture

which was bugging me as l couldn't get it out of my mind, doing mental arithmetic which kept me awake for a while (while also listening to The Knife album 'Tomorrow, in a year' on earphones, which didn't help). Then this morning l have been reading about Fermat's Last Theorem http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermat's_Last_Theorem

which l do not understand at all. Mind you, it was a long, long time ago since l was taught any mathematics and l have pretty much forgotten everything l learnt back then.

It still annoys me though, and no doubt it will still be bugging me later.

Thank God l go to see Joseph on a Monday

toodle pip

what your tattoo tells others about you

So true

toodle pip

teeth poster

This is the new poster which is going in the bathroom. All it needs now is a frame and someone to get round to putting it up. It's good though (and sooooo retro!!).

toodle pip

model in the water at wicki wachee springs, florida 1947

This is just such a great picture by Toni Frissell of a model floating in the water at Weeki Wachee Springs, Florida in 1947. Here's three different versions of it, but my favourite is probably the bottom one which has been colourised.

toodle pip

karel gott -the golden voice of prague

I can't decide if it's a genius version which sounds a bit like Scott Walker, or just crap.

Decisions decisions..

toodle pip

new york skyline in 1915

The New York skyline from Manhattan Bridge in 1915. It looks a bit different now.

toodle pip

bloody spies

Had a soak in the bath this evening, relaxing, reading, and trying to scrape the filth of myself.

However, when l finally emerged, God like from it, l caught this little lady trying to catch me unawares (and that can be painful).

Bloody spies, you're not even safe in your own home any more.

toodle pip

darlington forum, interviews, and lots of work

Finished work this evening after slaving away since 8am on Wednesday. Spent all day doing interviews in Northallerton, then off to work for a sleepover and work the next day until 4.30pm.

Then it was off to The Forum in Darlington for the Mencap fundraiser. Rook and Deb played and provided transport to the gig, then myself and the FPO decided to stay with Richard and Claire and get drunk, lashing out for a taxi home. Luckily we then got a lift off Kerrie so we got drunk and saved money as well. That's if you look at it like that, the bottles of wine we were drinking were £10.99 each, and by jimmy me lad, there were a few of them consumed. Even ended up playing table football with some old blokes (see picture above). They might have been good, but l was better (still undefeated).

Back into work on Friday, then sleepover and straight through until 8.30pm this evening. Then l came home to discover Louise and Dazzer here, empty Indian take away boxes, and a demand from the FPO for £10 towards it. Good job l managed to force myself to eat what was left over while catching up on the TV (Inbetweeners, An Idiot Abroad, Match Of The Day and the Spanish football).

Lie in tomorrow morning, lying in bed reading the Sunday paper with a bacon buttie. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

toodle pip

bonnie and clyde

Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway certainly look a bit different to the real Bonnie (Parker) and Clyde (Barrow), but l guess that's the magic of Hollywood and film, and I certainly enjoyed the movie.

toodle pip

who are these people?

The top one went a teezy weezy bit power crazy, and the bottom one is a favourite of the ladies.

OK, didn't take long for me to crumble, it's Hitler and George Clooney

toodle pip

africa is pretty big

As the saying goes, l wouldn't like to paint it

toodle pip

china's got talent winner

Beats the UK version

toodle pip

banksy does the simpsons

This is a special opening of the Simpsons done by Banksy and he takes the piss out of Fox. Good on them for showing it though.

toodle pip

the mighty status quo

I heard a couple of old Status Quo songs when l had my ipod on shuffle recently, and by jove and Jimmy me lad, they were still pretty darn good.

Obviously they have now become some kind of British institution and also a bit of a joke, but back in the day they were pretty much the alternative rock scene (and sound). It was either them or the progessive sound of Pink Floyd, ELP, The Moody Blues, Tangerine Dream ad infinitum.

I know it is now hard to believe, but l present before your baffled and bemused eyes some visual proof and representation of how highly they were regarded.

Now if only l had some kind of time machine to take me back to those days......... (which some people would say l have never really left anyway).

O Happy Days!! (and l still had a 28" waist)

toodle pip

what religion should you be

those crazy japanese (part 386)

Once again the crazy Japanese have surpassed themselves. Another insane invention that may well work, but also looks mighty mighty scary.

Just say no kids

toodle pip

fluffy, stuart, a life backwards, typhoon and black snow

Recent books l have enjoyed.

Fluffy is a graphic novel by Simone Lia, which l can of course relate to a lot, as l have a little bunny that is in love with me (Hello Nozzer!). I wasn't too keen on the ending (no, the bunny does not die), but l still enjoyed it.

Stuart is a true story about Stuart Shorter, which has also been adapted for a TV play, starring the bloke who played Bronson. Superb account of his life and a real page turner (as they say in the trade). Even though you know at the start of the book that Stuart dies, it still manages to keep you gripped till the end.

Typhoon is about going through a................ guess what?. Great descriptions and very believable, especially knowing that Joseph Conrad had been a sailor, so he knew a lot about the subject he was writing about. It must have been terrifying.

Black Snow is a humorous account of getting involved with publishing and the theatre. Still valid today, lots of descriptions of poverty and backstabbing pretentiousness, so right up my street.

That's it for now, back at work at 3pm until 2pm tomorrow, loads to do (fish to fry etc) and so little time.

toodle pip

the amazing octopus

I have been reading about Octopus' recently and also wasting my time watching You Tube footage of them (well, l am off work).

Amazing creatures.

If l ever get a large fish tank, l want a small one (there's a joke there somewhere).

toodle pip

acapello temptations

Superb band - probably get rejected on the X factor

toodle pip

never apologise - malcolm mcdowell on lindsay anderson

I have just spent a very pleasant afternoon watching Malcolm McDowell in his one man show about the director Lindsay Anderson, who he was with for 'If' and 'O Lucky Man'.

I really rate Malcolm McDowell and 'O Lucky Man' and 'A Clockwork Orange' are two of my favourite films, and he certainly knows how to control an audience and suck them into a tale.

The most moving part however, was when he was reading from Lindsay Anderson's diary, about his meeting with John Ford, just before John Ford died. Lindsay worshipped Ford, and found him to be humble and gracious, even though he was on his death bed (in fact he died about six weeks after the meeting). Malcolm reads the diary with just the right tone, not overdoing the accents, but making you imagine the scene as though you had been present yourself. A class act, and a tear may have been wiped away afterwards.

Just a shame I am back at work at 4pm (although I am home again later this evening).

toodle pip

old comics

They don't make them like this anymore

toodle pip

(even more) marmaris

the batmobile

Now if only I could find a spare £150,00, I would get one of these.

toodle pip

grinderman

This is great. The first Grinderman album is fantastic, and I didn't think the new one could match it, but I have been playing this while dropping off to sleep and it certainly provides some weird dreams. I think Nick Cave's earlier stuff is great, but I may even prefer this to his solo albums. It also has a few Howlin Wolf influences on it, what more could you want?

toodle pip