walking the bloody dog by the swale

Went to see the relatives yesterday at their caravan by the river Swale, outside Richmond. Only popped up for an hour or so as there was a few people there, but got lumbered into taking Bill's dog for a walk (and po-po) as Bill was doing some woodwork/carpentry around the caravan with Ken. My, how l complained all the way round, l could have gone for the same kind of walk a couple of hundred yards from where l live. Still, it's putting the hours in and remaining as The Golden Child. Called into the Co-op on the way home for some food and bottles of wine (Arniston Bay, red, 2009), and for a change, we didn't even drink them all. Better to have too many bottles than too few though.

toodle pip

fermats last theorem and the collatz conjuncture

I really need to get out more and get a life. I went to bed last night thinking about The Collatz Conjuncture,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collatz_conjecture

which was bugging me as l couldn't get it out of my mind, doing mental arithmetic which kept me awake for a while (while also listening to The Knife album 'Tomorrow, in a year' on earphones, which didn't help). Then this morning l have been reading about Fermat's Last Theorem http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermat's_Last_Theorem

which l do not understand at all. Mind you, it was a long, long time ago since l was taught any mathematics and l have pretty much forgotten everything l learnt back then.

It still annoys me though, and no doubt it will still be bugging me later.

Thank God l go to see Joseph on a Monday

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what your tattoo tells others about you

So true

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teeth poster

This is the new poster which is going in the bathroom. All it needs now is a frame and someone to get round to putting it up. It's good though (and sooooo retro!!).

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model in the water at wicki wachee springs, florida 1947

This is just such a great picture by Toni Frissell of a model floating in the water at Weeki Wachee Springs, Florida in 1947. Here's three different versions of it, but my favourite is probably the bottom one which has been colourised.

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karel gott -the golden voice of prague

I can't decide if it's a genius version which sounds a bit like Scott Walker, or just crap.

Decisions decisions..

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new york skyline in 1915

The New York skyline from Manhattan Bridge in 1915. It looks a bit different now.

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bloody spies

Had a soak in the bath this evening, relaxing, reading, and trying to scrape the filth of myself.

However, when l finally emerged, God like from it, l caught this little lady trying to catch me unawares (and that can be painful).

Bloody spies, you're not even safe in your own home any more.

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darlington forum, interviews, and lots of work

Finished work this evening after slaving away since 8am on Wednesday. Spent all day doing interviews in Northallerton, then off to work for a sleepover and work the next day until 4.30pm.

Then it was off to The Forum in Darlington for the Mencap fundraiser. Rook and Deb played and provided transport to the gig, then myself and the FPO decided to stay with Richard and Claire and get drunk, lashing out for a taxi home. Luckily we then got a lift off Kerrie so we got drunk and saved money as well. That's if you look at it like that, the bottles of wine we were drinking were £10.99 each, and by jimmy me lad, there were a few of them consumed. Even ended up playing table football with some old blokes (see picture above). They might have been good, but l was better (still undefeated).

Back into work on Friday, then sleepover and straight through until 8.30pm this evening. Then l came home to discover Louise and Dazzer here, empty Indian take away boxes, and a demand from the FPO for £10 towards it. Good job l managed to force myself to eat what was left over while catching up on the TV (Inbetweeners, An Idiot Abroad, Match Of The Day and the Spanish football).

Lie in tomorrow morning, lying in bed reading the Sunday paper with a bacon buttie. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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bonnie and clyde

Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway certainly look a bit different to the real Bonnie (Parker) and Clyde (Barrow), but l guess that's the magic of Hollywood and film, and I certainly enjoyed the movie.

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who are these people?

The top one went a teezy weezy bit power crazy, and the bottom one is a favourite of the ladies.

OK, didn't take long for me to crumble, it's Hitler and George Clooney

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africa is pretty big

As the saying goes, l wouldn't like to paint it

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china's got talent winner

Beats the UK version

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banksy does the simpsons

This is a special opening of the Simpsons done by Banksy and he takes the piss out of Fox. Good on them for showing it though.

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the mighty status quo

I heard a couple of old Status Quo songs when l had my ipod on shuffle recently, and by jove and Jimmy me lad, they were still pretty darn good.

Obviously they have now become some kind of British institution and also a bit of a joke, but back in the day they were pretty much the alternative rock scene (and sound). It was either them or the progessive sound of Pink Floyd, ELP, The Moody Blues, Tangerine Dream ad infinitum.

I know it is now hard to believe, but l present before your baffled and bemused eyes some visual proof and representation of how highly they were regarded.

Now if only l had some kind of time machine to take me back to those days......... (which some people would say l have never really left anyway).

O Happy Days!! (and l still had a 28" waist)

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what religion should you be

those crazy japanese (part 386)

Once again the crazy Japanese have surpassed themselves. Another insane invention that may well work, but also looks mighty mighty scary.

Just say no kids

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fluffy, stuart, a life backwards, typhoon and black snow

Recent books l have enjoyed.

Fluffy is a graphic novel by Simone Lia, which l can of course relate to a lot, as l have a little bunny that is in love with me (Hello Nozzer!). I wasn't too keen on the ending (no, the bunny does not die), but l still enjoyed it.

Stuart is a true story about Stuart Shorter, which has also been adapted for a TV play, starring the bloke who played Bronson. Superb account of his life and a real page turner (as they say in the trade). Even though you know at the start of the book that Stuart dies, it still manages to keep you gripped till the end.

Typhoon is about going through a................ guess what?. Great descriptions and very believable, especially knowing that Joseph Conrad had been a sailor, so he knew a lot about the subject he was writing about. It must have been terrifying.

Black Snow is a humorous account of getting involved with publishing and the theatre. Still valid today, lots of descriptions of poverty and backstabbing pretentiousness, so right up my street.

That's it for now, back at work at 3pm until 2pm tomorrow, loads to do (fish to fry etc) and so little time.

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the amazing octopus

I have been reading about Octopus' recently and also wasting my time watching You Tube footage of them (well, l am off work).

Amazing creatures.

If l ever get a large fish tank, l want a small one (there's a joke there somewhere).

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acapello temptations

Superb band - probably get rejected on the X factor

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never apologise - malcolm mcdowell on lindsay anderson

I have just spent a very pleasant afternoon watching Malcolm McDowell in his one man show about the director Lindsay Anderson, who he was with for 'If' and 'O Lucky Man'.

I really rate Malcolm McDowell and 'O Lucky Man' and 'A Clockwork Orange' are two of my favourite films, and he certainly knows how to control an audience and suck them into a tale.

The most moving part however, was when he was reading from Lindsay Anderson's diary, about his meeting with John Ford, just before John Ford died. Lindsay worshipped Ford, and found him to be humble and gracious, even though he was on his death bed (in fact he died about six weeks after the meeting). Malcolm reads the diary with just the right tone, not overdoing the accents, but making you imagine the scene as though you had been present yourself. A class act, and a tear may have been wiped away afterwards.

Just a shame I am back at work at 4pm (although I am home again later this evening).

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old comics

They don't make them like this anymore

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(even more) marmaris

the batmobile

Now if only I could find a spare £150,00, I would get one of these.

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grinderman

This is great. The first Grinderman album is fantastic, and I didn't think the new one could match it, but I have been playing this while dropping off to sleep and it certainly provides some weird dreams. I think Nick Cave's earlier stuff is great, but I may even prefer this to his solo albums. It also has a few Howlin Wolf influences on it, what more could you want?

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marmaris (again)

More scans from Marmaris, the best of which are the Wayne Rooney note from the Manchester United bar, where I went to watch Manchester United beating Liverpool 3-2. What a fine, fine day that was.

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the flintstones - 50 years ago

Even I am not old enough to remember this, but what a great programme it was.

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bay horse meal

Been out today with Robbo and Kerry, as they felt a bit bad about me going to the Sunderland game by myself yesterday, even though l was fine and they had other things going on. Anyway, rather sadly, l had to go to work between 8am and midday this morning, and the next door neighbours were noisy bastards all night. It must have been their kids 18th birthday (IT HAD BETTER HAVE BEEN!), as we do not usually hear them at all, but it was still annoying, especially with the FPO snoring as well (drunk from her girls night out). Luckily l am generally always cheerful (unlike Dazzer and Ken), but my hay fever is bugging me, as l am run down through lack of sleep. We went to the Bay Horse (Gay Horse) at Catterick Village for lunch, and it was excellent. Rather sadly, Michael (the chef/cook) told us he was leaving by the end of the year, so we had better make the most of it while he is still cooking (on gas). JT's after, then back home to write this crap while the FPO watches the Sky recordings of the X factor. Stone me, what a life.

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sunderland game

After the Friday night of madness with the FPO and her family, l was keen to go to the Manchester United vs Sunderland game on Saturday (back to old school, 3 pm kick off). Everyone was already booked up with weddings, guests coming round etc, so I picked up the car from the garage (new clutch) and drove straight there by myself. The FPO was worried about me being gobby and getting in trouble, but it was fine, and as l said to her, l was happy going by myself as it was easier getting a ticket for one, rather than two tickets together. Wow, long sentence. Still managed to get myself a parking ticket, as l parked just in front of the Sunderland supporters pub (illegally) and strolled in to get a pint. I did think l might get a ticket, so it was no great surprise when l did get one (£35 if paid within 14 days). Just a shame Manchester United played so badly and it was a 0-0 draw, which happens very rarely for the boys nowadays. The FPO was out with her girlie mates when l got back, so it was a night of bliss, having a bath, watching the footie and entertaining myself on the computer (ooeer). She did phone and ask if l wanted to come to the party, but l was happy watching Match of the Day in my undies, and couldn't be bothered moving away from Nozzer, who was next to me, getting stroked (and that's not all). I still don't like the games as much as l did in the early years of supporting United, but it is still great to see the matches live. Saying that, it is also way too expensive now, (£34 on Saturday). I do think it has now reached the tipping point (yes, well done Malcom Gladwell), as there are lots of games that do not sell out now. It has certainly moved away from the game of the kids and the working classes, but apparently, we are all middle class now. As Frankie* would say ... 'HA!'

*Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Born to Run

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escaped from the brother in laws

Well. it turned out the night (Friday night) was a bit better than l expected. Myself, the FPO and her parents, plus the brother in law and the pregnant missus all went to The Stables at Wynyard for a meal (to be nice to the parents, as they have lent us money in the past ) and then back to Stockton to (ooerr) finish it off. The meal was good, but when we got back it was tops off and singing to Queen and Take That. Good if it was women doing it, very very poor if it is your father in law doing it. Luckily l was still sober (because l can handle my ale and still send distress signals out) so l knew when it was time to go to bed. The cat came on to me and l took three bottles of wine to bed with me (and l have photographic proof). Keith would be proud.

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trapped at the brother in laws

HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!