africa is pretty big

As the saying goes, l wouldn't like to paint it

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china's got talent winner

Beats the UK version

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banksy does the simpsons

This is a special opening of the Simpsons done by Banksy and he takes the piss out of Fox. Good on them for showing it though.

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the mighty status quo

I heard a couple of old Status Quo songs when l had my ipod on shuffle recently, and by jove and Jimmy me lad, they were still pretty darn good.

Obviously they have now become some kind of British institution and also a bit of a joke, but back in the day they were pretty much the alternative rock scene (and sound). It was either them or the progessive sound of Pink Floyd, ELP, The Moody Blues, Tangerine Dream ad infinitum.

I know it is now hard to believe, but l present before your baffled and bemused eyes some visual proof and representation of how highly they were regarded.

Now if only l had some kind of time machine to take me back to those days......... (which some people would say l have never really left anyway).

O Happy Days!! (and l still had a 28" waist)

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what religion should you be

those crazy japanese (part 386)

Once again the crazy Japanese have surpassed themselves. Another insane invention that may well work, but also looks mighty mighty scary.

Just say no kids

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fluffy, stuart, a life backwards, typhoon and black snow

Recent books l have enjoyed.

Fluffy is a graphic novel by Simone Lia, which l can of course relate to a lot, as l have a little bunny that is in love with me (Hello Nozzer!). I wasn't too keen on the ending (no, the bunny does not die), but l still enjoyed it.

Stuart is a true story about Stuart Shorter, which has also been adapted for a TV play, starring the bloke who played Bronson. Superb account of his life and a real page turner (as they say in the trade). Even though you know at the start of the book that Stuart dies, it still manages to keep you gripped till the end.

Typhoon is about going through a................ guess what?. Great descriptions and very believable, especially knowing that Joseph Conrad had been a sailor, so he knew a lot about the subject he was writing about. It must have been terrifying.

Black Snow is a humorous account of getting involved with publishing and the theatre. Still valid today, lots of descriptions of poverty and backstabbing pretentiousness, so right up my street.

That's it for now, back at work at 3pm until 2pm tomorrow, loads to do (fish to fry etc) and so little time.

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the amazing octopus

I have been reading about Octopus' recently and also wasting my time watching You Tube footage of them (well, l am off work).

Amazing creatures.

If l ever get a large fish tank, l want a small one (there's a joke there somewhere).

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acapello temptations

Superb band - probably get rejected on the X factor

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never apologise - malcolm mcdowell on lindsay anderson

I have just spent a very pleasant afternoon watching Malcolm McDowell in his one man show about the director Lindsay Anderson, who he was with for 'If' and 'O Lucky Man'.

I really rate Malcolm McDowell and 'O Lucky Man' and 'A Clockwork Orange' are two of my favourite films, and he certainly knows how to control an audience and suck them into a tale.

The most moving part however, was when he was reading from Lindsay Anderson's diary, about his meeting with John Ford, just before John Ford died. Lindsay worshipped Ford, and found him to be humble and gracious, even though he was on his death bed (in fact he died about six weeks after the meeting). Malcolm reads the diary with just the right tone, not overdoing the accents, but making you imagine the scene as though you had been present yourself. A class act, and a tear may have been wiped away afterwards.

Just a shame I am back at work at 4pm (although I am home again later this evening).

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old comics

They don't make them like this anymore

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(even more) marmaris

the batmobile

Now if only I could find a spare £150,00, I would get one of these.

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grinderman

This is great. The first Grinderman album is fantastic, and I didn't think the new one could match it, but I have been playing this while dropping off to sleep and it certainly provides some weird dreams. I think Nick Cave's earlier stuff is great, but I may even prefer this to his solo albums. It also has a few Howlin Wolf influences on it, what more could you want?

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marmaris (again)

More scans from Marmaris, the best of which are the Wayne Rooney note from the Manchester United bar, where I went to watch Manchester United beating Liverpool 3-2. What a fine, fine day that was.

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the flintstones - 50 years ago

Even I am not old enough to remember this, but what a great programme it was.

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bay horse meal

Been out today with Robbo and Kerry, as they felt a bit bad about me going to the Sunderland game by myself yesterday, even though l was fine and they had other things going on. Anyway, rather sadly, l had to go to work between 8am and midday this morning, and the next door neighbours were noisy bastards all night. It must have been their kids 18th birthday (IT HAD BETTER HAVE BEEN!), as we do not usually hear them at all, but it was still annoying, especially with the FPO snoring as well (drunk from her girls night out). Luckily l am generally always cheerful (unlike Dazzer and Ken), but my hay fever is bugging me, as l am run down through lack of sleep. We went to the Bay Horse (Gay Horse) at Catterick Village for lunch, and it was excellent. Rather sadly, Michael (the chef/cook) told us he was leaving by the end of the year, so we had better make the most of it while he is still cooking (on gas). JT's after, then back home to write this crap while the FPO watches the Sky recordings of the X factor. Stone me, what a life.

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sunderland game

After the Friday night of madness with the FPO and her family, l was keen to go to the Manchester United vs Sunderland game on Saturday (back to old school, 3 pm kick off). Everyone was already booked up with weddings, guests coming round etc, so I picked up the car from the garage (new clutch) and drove straight there by myself. The FPO was worried about me being gobby and getting in trouble, but it was fine, and as l said to her, l was happy going by myself as it was easier getting a ticket for one, rather than two tickets together. Wow, long sentence. Still managed to get myself a parking ticket, as l parked just in front of the Sunderland supporters pub (illegally) and strolled in to get a pint. I did think l might get a ticket, so it was no great surprise when l did get one (£35 if paid within 14 days). Just a shame Manchester United played so badly and it was a 0-0 draw, which happens very rarely for the boys nowadays. The FPO was out with her girlie mates when l got back, so it was a night of bliss, having a bath, watching the footie and entertaining myself on the computer (ooeer). She did phone and ask if l wanted to come to the party, but l was happy watching Match of the Day in my undies, and couldn't be bothered moving away from Nozzer, who was next to me, getting stroked (and that's not all). I still don't like the games as much as l did in the early years of supporting United, but it is still great to see the matches live. Saying that, it is also way too expensive now, (£34 on Saturday). I do think it has now reached the tipping point (yes, well done Malcom Gladwell), as there are lots of games that do not sell out now. It has certainly moved away from the game of the kids and the working classes, but apparently, we are all middle class now. As Frankie* would say ... 'HA!'

*Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Born to Run

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escaped from the brother in laws

Well. it turned out the night (Friday night) was a bit better than l expected. Myself, the FPO and her parents, plus the brother in law and the pregnant missus all went to The Stables at Wynyard for a meal (to be nice to the parents, as they have lent us money in the past ) and then back to Stockton to (ooerr) finish it off. The meal was good, but when we got back it was tops off and singing to Queen and Take That. Good if it was women doing it, very very poor if it is your father in law doing it. Luckily l was still sober (because l can handle my ale and still send distress signals out) so l knew when it was time to go to bed. The cat came on to me and l took three bottles of wine to bed with me (and l have photographic proof). Keith would be proud.

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trapped at the brother in laws

HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

alone in berlin, narrative of arthur gordon pym of nantucket, the glass teat, keep the aspidistra flying and steppenwolf

An excellent book based on a true story about people resisting the Nazis by leaving postcards. Not a happy ending for the postcard depositors.

I really tried with this and got about half way, but I got sick of it in the end. Who knows, l may try it again in the future but the writing style just got on my nerves.

This is a book about TV shows in the USA back in the days of hippies and Vietnam, but it is also about so much more. Lots of ranting in it, which generally goes down well with me

Orwell on class (again) and trying to live outside of the money world (but with no success). It is dated, but reveals what it was like to be poor just before the First World War in the UK. Loved it.

A journey to the South Pole, with adventures on the way. Some of it based on true stories, and also about birth, death and rebirth (or maybe that was just the drugs talking).

Some of the books I read while I was in Turkey. Bliss to be able to sit around doing bugger all.

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turf dancing

Ah, this takes me back to the days when me and my homies used to hang around Colburn top shops, doing dance offs. If it wasn't for my dodgy knees........

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spider

http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/

I have endless fun playing with this

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a miracle mashup

clever bastard

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tan hill wedding

Off to Tan Hill on Saturday for the wedding of Lynn (who works with the FPO) and Tony. Got a taxi there and back (at the cost of £60), but it meant I would be back at home and in my own bed for the Sunday papers. The do was better than I thought it would be and plenty off ale was imbibed, so the taxi turned out to be a good idea. The main surprise of the evening was seeing a couple of people I know working there. Ranting Ritchie was behind the bar serving the ale, and didn't recognise me at first as I have had so much hair cut off. This meant he called me "Sir" for a while before realising who I was (Oh! - how we laughed about it later!). There was also a bit of a shock when the food came out, as Newcastle Steve was the chef/cook and had prepared it. It was curry, and tasted pretty good, although I was a bit suspicious about his special sauce and avoided that. Sat in the bar after the do talking to Ritchie and Steve until about 1.30am, drinking double whiskies while waiting for the taxi. There was some talk about doing some kind of benefit gig for Ritchie's brother John, who is in hospital in a bad way after having a stroke a few weeks ago, which was also a bit of a shock as it was the first I had heard about it. Something may indeed happen, but who knows? Anyway, it was a good night, and followed up by an argument with the taxi driver on the way home as he was a Manchester City fan (albeit in good spirits).

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plants have eyes

This is wierd - very weird!

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back from marmaris

Another trip finished and l am now back for a while. Arrived back from Marmaris last night, but there is no peace (for the wicked) at the moment. Off to a wedding at Tan Hill this afternoon, and decided to get a taxi there and back so lots of drink can be taken and l will also wake up in my own bed in the morning, awaiting the Sunday paper. The cost with Frontline taxis is £60, but it would have cost just as much to book a hotel, plus somebody has to drive. The offer was on to stay at the pub itself, but l didn't fancy dossing down with a load of other people (Christ l am getting old and boring). Pick up is at 3.15pm, so l had better go and have a quick bath and wash some of the Turkish filth off me. Who knows, l may even treat everyone and have a shave as well.

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turkey again - leave in one hour!

These are pictures of the Villa we rented when we were in Dalyan last week. Unfortunately this time, because it is work, I am staying in a hotel (The Blue Bay?) in Marmaris, which I do not expect will be as good. Still, it is a free holiday and it is all inclusive, so there's no way I am going to complain about it (plus I get paid extra for going).

I have just been to Tesco for last minute purchases and I also picked up some money and got insurance for the trip. Now I am just hanging around waiting for my taxi. I have just put on some washing and done the dishes, packed my bag and finished the book I was reading. Think I'll be a good lad and tidy up some more, before giving little Nozzer a tearful kiss goodbye.

Till next week..

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