jerry sadowitz on jimmy savile

Jerry Sadowitz is promoting his new show at the Leicester Square Theatre by impersonating Jimmy Savile, but more importantly, reminding everyone that he was not afraid to say it how it was back in the day, with a recording of one of Sadowitz's old shows from 1987 (Gobshite) being highlighted.
Sadowitz is not always hilarious  by any stretch of the imagination, but he certainly is unique, and at times, can hit the nail right on the head, while being funny with it (and doing magic tricks).  I'll even forgive him for appearing in the crappy Kathy Burke series about her childhood (Walking and Talking)
We'll miss him when he's gone.


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le temps qui reste (2005) - francois ozon

Known as 'Time to Leave' in the English speaking world, Le Temps Qui reste stars Melvil Poupaud as Romain, a gay, self centred (and somewhat unpleasant   French photographer who is informed he has a brain tumour, and only a few months to live.  He then has to re-assess his life and deal with the consequences of his oncoming death.  Pretty slow moving, subtitled, depressing in places, and with a sub plot involving childhood and children, it was right up my street.
I should have been born gay and French, l'm wasted (sometimes literally) as a heterosexual scouser (even if that is sometimes hard to believe).

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candy - terry southern and mason hoffenberg

I bought this book second hand as l saw it was written by Terry Southern,  who l know from such films as 'The Magic Christian' (starring Ringo), 'Easy Rider', and 'Dr Strangelove').   He has a satirical piss taking style that l like and can identify with,  and 'Candy' was also advertised on the cover as being banned upon it's release in 1958 (so of course l had to give it a go and read it).   Southern wrote it under the name of 'Maxwell Fenton', and there were sex scenes a plenty,   but to these jaded and unshockable eyes,  it wasn't that outrageous.   Supposedly based on Voltaire's 'Candide' (one of my favourite books),  Candy Christian is 18 year old,  sexy,  innocent and naive,  who is repeatedly taken advantage of (mainly in sexual ways),  by just about everybody that she comes into contact with.  She on the other hand,  always sees the good side of everything and deludes herself concerning their motives towards her.  It's comedic and would have pushed boundaries back in the 1950's,  but l don't consider it any worse than some of Tom Sharpe's books,  which l find much funnier (and also dirty).  I'm glad that l have read this, but would recommend some Tom Sharpe stuff instead of this if there had to be  a choice,  especially 'Riotous Assembly' and 'Indecent Exposure',  which deal with Apartheid in South Africa (they're a lot funnier than that sounds).  Don't let the TV series of 'Blot On The Landscape' put you off, the books are much better.

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the daily mail, hypocrisy, and the stars

The Daily Mail is having a go at John Peel at the moment because he had sex with (and allegedly got pregnant), a 15 year old girl.  Peel has been open about his sexual exploits in the past, and this is nothing new. However, the implicit fact in the story is that she was only 15, under age, and should not be treated as a sex object.  But what is the other story in the same paper?  Only photographs and a statement about how fit Chloe Moretz, another 15 year old is looking.  Talk about double standards and hypocrisy.  On a similar note, Jimmy Savile is getting a (probably well deserved)  kicking at the moment due to all the allegations against him.  Non of these have been proven yet, and a lot of what l have read is hearsay, and therefore couldn't be acted upon at the time.  I wouldn't trust Savile any further than l could throw him, but l also don't believe everyone that has come forward is telling the truth, and some of the 'revelations' are just scraping the barrel   He is an easy target because he was odd and is dead, but while stars are living, it seems to be the 'strange' ones the press go for, such as Jonathan King or Gary Glitter (or in the Mail's case, BBC institutions like Peel).  What about other stars that have pretty damning evidence against them?  I'm not just thinking of Bill Wyman of The Rolling Stones, or Elvis Presley and his courting habits, but of rock gods such as Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin, who targeted Lori Maddox when she was a child model, arranged to meet her, and started a relationship with her.  All of this while he was an international star, and Maddox was 13, possibly 14. Targeting and taking advantage?  I certainly think so.  Is it all over the papers?  Is it fuck.  There will be plenty more stars who have skeletons in their closets, and this is sometimes used as the defence of 'not everybody can be prosecuted', but some cases certainly stand out from the rest, and nothing is done, because they are 'liked,' 'cool' or 'respected'. Then you also get other stars wanting to defend them and work with them, such as with Roman Polanski, or they have some kind of power, and everyone turns a blind eye, as it seems to be with the Savile case, or the recent Penn State University one. The papers should stop chasing after the strange and dead (such as King, Glitter and Peel) and do something about the living, if they are that bothered, otherwise they can stop pretending they are. What a load of crap, and if crap and dodgy stuff is what you are into, Ed Savitz (now dead) was the man to go and see.  He certainly knew what he liked.

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jimmy savile - now then now then

This is probably all over the place at the moment, but it is still funny.  Jimmy Savile's grave goes walkies.

As for the allegations about him, this is the latest news.

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jimmy savile books

As more accusations regarding Jimmy Savile come to light, there's a possibility that these books will soon be worth a fortune.  Then again, l very much doubt it, no matter how 'ironic' they will deem to be.  I had my suspicions back here, as his inappropriate behaviour was there for all to see.

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the breast washer

Science.  It has an answer to just about anything eventually, as demonstrated with this marvellous device for the ladies.  A breast washer.
I take off my hat to the man (and let's face it, it's bound to have been a man) who came up with this.  Pure genius.

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my hitch hiking / gay or bi story

I put this up on the Afterword site, so l thought l might as well share it here as well.
Enjoy!

I used to hitch hike all over the place when l was younger, and it's how l discovered l am not bi or gay. I was picked up outside Catterick (oop North) by a lorry driver on the way to that there London, as l was off to see Status Quo in 1977. I was a pretty long haired boy at the time, so he may have thought l was a girl when he stopped for me in the dark. Outside London, he stopped for 'a rest' and got into his bunk (behind me) for 'a sleep' while l stayed in the front seats. After a short time he said he was turned on, and would l give him a wank. Not a question l got asked everyday, but as l was into T.Rex a lot when l was younger (and loved Bolan), plus eager to try most things, l thought 'What the Hell, l may even like it and may actually be gay or bi'. I leant back and did the deed, and after he had finished (I must have been good), he offered to wank me off. That was the precise moment l realised it didn't do anything for me, and l wasn't interested in other blokes in any sexual way. As you can imagine, this tale goes down a treat in the pub, as l will tell anyone prepared to listen, and am encouraged to do so by my mates. I'm not ashamed of it, I got to see the mighty Quo, and the lorry driver had his wank and didn't kill me, so it was a result for all concerned. Happy days.

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me alice - alice cooper

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the book of drugs - mike doughty (2012)

Mike Doughty used to be the singer in the USA band 'Soul Coughing', and is now a solo artist.' The Book Of Drugs' is his memoir that deals with his army based childhood, time forming and being in the band, having some success, being mates with Jeff Buckley, going solo, drug taking, travel and groupie type sex.  However, it is not your usual account, as he is pretty fucked up (in all ways) most of the time (he has since been classed as bi-polar), he hates being in his own band, he hates his own voice (and questions if he is even a musician),  he gets seriously addicted to the drugs, he has trouble with going straight and dealing with real emotion, and his lucky number is 27.  Wow, l can relate to most of what he is saying, but he has had more of a rock star life and can articulate it in a thoughtful (and spitefully honest) way. Highly recommended, even if you don't know his music (which l didn't), as it pinpoints how unhappy someone can be, even if they are being (to all intents and purposes) successful.  I'll admit a lot of the drug stuff (and travel tales) made me jealous, as l have indulged with both in the past, but for now,  l'll settle for checking out his music.  At least it keeps me occupied and out of trouble.

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countess dracula (1971) - peter sasdy

Countess Dracula is based on the real life exploits of Countess Elizabeth Bathory, and stars Ingrid Pitt as a woman who tries to remain young by bathing in murdered young girls blood.  She then discovers they have to be virgins, and is helped in her gruesome task until it all goes wrong at her wedding.
Was it made by Hammer?  Check
Are there buxom wenches?  Check
Are there scared peasants?  Check
Dramatic castle?  Check
Horse drawn carriages?  Check
Are there topless scenes? Check
Are there killings?  Check
True (ish) story?  Check
Dramatic acting?  Check
Any good?
Nope - not at all, even if Ingrid does go topless, it's not worth watching.  Certainly not one of the better Hammer films, and she's not even a vampire. Just skip through to the saucy bits if you are that bothered, but you'd have to be desperate, like when l was 14 or 15. Not because of what Ingrid looks like - she was always proud about showing off her body.
Hence this publicity shot from The Vampire Lovers - a much better film (if you are 14 or 15)

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the stupidly handsome paul newman

I've said it before on the blog when reviewing films, but Paul Newman was one handsome dude.  These photographs are from when he joined the U.S Navy in about 1943, and l tell you this now brothers and sisters, it's a good job he went up in planes for the Navy rather than being sent to sea, as there would have been a few fellows after some late night action with him once the loneliness crept in and they were a long way from land (because that's what they do).

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the pete townhend book is nearly out!

The long awaited Pete Townshend (of The Who) autobiography is nearly out!  He has also promised that it will deal with his caution in 2003 for downloading child pornography (which he said was for research).
The book has taken over 15 years to complete, but he has done well to knock one off (so to speak) in such a (relatively) short amount of time.
After all, books take a long time to write when you have to keep pausing your research in order to delete your browser history.
And cookies.
And cache.
And hard drive.
And set fire to your office.
And flee the country.
(with thanxs to The Afterword and @Bobtheidiot)


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I want candy (2007) - stephen surjik

A 'so called' British comedy with some well known (in the UK at least) cameos (ie Jimmy Carr and Miranda Hart), I Want Candy was another waste of my precious time.  Two students from Leatherhead film college decide to make a movie.  They change it to a porno, get involved with gangsters, and my will to live started dying out.  This lacked comedy (essential for a comedy movie), tension (important when there are gangsters involved) and  filth (essential if they are meant to be making a porno and the film is crap, as there should be some kind of titillation at least).  It confirms my belief that the more star cameos there are in UK films, the crappier the films become, as if they don't have to try with the script.  I don't know about wanting candy, l wanted carrots shoving in my ears and my eyes gouged out so l didn't have to suffer any more.  Bring on the sweet relief of death if l have to tolerate more of this nonsense.  Thank God l'm not young anymore.

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should a woman be spanked?

Ah, the good old days, although l'm not sure l would like to visualize Mr Desiderio descending upon any female with his hairbrush in his hand.

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anti wanking device

I might buy a certain fellow one of these for his birthday at the end of the month.  It's an anti wanking (onanism) device and is from about 1880 and was used in Catholic France.  This one was for sale on eBay in 2008.  I'll also have to disconnect his computer and hide his paddles, but it will be worth it just to see the look on his face.

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thai slimming advert

What a genius advert.  If only it worked like that, l'd have boobs like Jordan.


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sunday bloody sunday (1971) - john schlesinger

I mainly watched Sunday Bloody Sunday because it was directed by John Schlesinger, who's other early films l have enjoyed a lot, especially 'Midnight Cowboy' (I'm walking here!).  This though, l thought was pretty crap.  The performances are all good, albeit very 'early 1970's', and there was (yet another) love triangle, only this time with a bisexual sculptor as the fulcrum, but the story and characters didn't captivate me at all.  Basically, l couldn't have cared less if they had all been run over instead of the dog, despite Peter Finch (who in 1976 became the first Australian and posthumous Oscar winner), giving the best performance of all, as the gay doctor.  It was ground breaking at the time as it showed him to be well adjusted and successful, and he was the only character that l had empathy for, but l still didn't care that much if it worked out or not (and his parties were rubbish).  It could have been done a lot better, and l expected a lot more (says the stern Victorian dad).

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victim (1961) - basil dearden

Starring Dirk Bogard and Sylvia Syms, Victim is a ground breaking film in that it portrayed the absurdity of a law that made homosexuality illegal, opening the way for blackmailers to exploit them, threatening them with exposure and probably prison sentences. Bogard plays Melville Farr, a closeted married barrister who decides to hunt down the blackmailers and prosecute them, even if it results his own exposure and downfall. This is due to a young man he had relations with committing suicide, as he was being blackmailed (and trying to protect Farr). When the film was made in 1961, Bogard himself would have been dubious about coming out, as he was a homosexual and could have been prosecuted under the law at the time (it wasn't changed until 1967). This film is often stated as one of the things that helped change public opinion, and should be essential viewing for all. I won't give it away, but there's also a neat twist in the plot, and that is always a bonus in any movie.

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so close to a dream come true

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Three ladies in the bed ?
Hurrah!!!
Only.....hold on a minute..............who the hell is that with the glasses?
That just looks wrong - time to make the excuses and leave, cursing under my breath and slamming the door in disappointment on the way out.









Who am l kidding? Of course l'd still stay, l'm a bloke (in the loosest possible sense). The only difference is they'd be the ones slamming the door in disappointment on the way out.

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