pods for the garden

These things look great. I want to state now that l do not work for the firm or have any connection to them, but l could live in one of these things if it included a toilet and hammock. They are a genius idea and full details are here - http://www.archipod.com/en-us/.

toodle pip

the front of the house

It's Hiroshima all over again.

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the bastard garden and the brother in law

Lighting a bonfire the Dazzer way (with petrol)

Still looking good - sadly it went out

The branches and leaves from the front garden

Another view

Yet more

The grass in the back garden before l cut it

I was at work this morning, but as it was a sunny day, l thought l would crack on when l got home and cut the grass in the back garden, so l could relax in the hammock afterwards. I was doing this (cutting the grass) when Louise and Dazzer (and her that shall not be named) called in. When l was cutting the grass, Dazzer disappeared out the front and started cutting down our bushes (which luckily, we wanted doing). All well and good, but when l finished my energy sapping chores, l got roped into hours of extra work helping him. AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

I am not used to manual work, and am not afraid to admit it, so l was cursing all afternoon. Then the FPO suggested they stay for tea! And they had the cheek to accept! I am going to have words with the FPO, and she shall experience my wrath. So, not only did Dazzer wear me out, but they ate us out of house and home as well. Then we couldn't get the bonfire/rubbish to ignite, even with petrol, so the garden looks worse than when l started. The front of the house looks like Hiroshima after the bomb, and l have cuts all over my legs. Bastards! The door will be bolted the next time they show their faces.

toodle pip

300 foot tall redwood tree

That is a mighty tall, mighty damn tall tree. If you look closely, there is a man at the foot of it (probably pissing). Impressive stuff, it makes me want to go out and kick the bark off the crappy trees l have in the back garden. The hammock fits across two of them perfectly, so they may be spared, but the other tree had better be on it's guard, mark my words.

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garage driveway and night sky

I was slaving away in the garden last night, cutting the bloody grass, but also trying to sort out the front of the garage, which was getting a little bit overgrown (to say the least), with what are apparently) small trees growing through the cracks in the concrete. Anyway, after hours of continues hard work (ooh me dodgy ticker) it is now looking a lot better. Not sure whether to get weed killer for the rest of the growths, or to risk setting fire to them (and then watch the whole estate burst into flames). Time will tell, but they will probably be 10 foot high by the time l make my mind up and decide to tackle them again (l fancy the petrol, but the FPO is against it).

Also, the sky was pretty red last night. The bottom picture was as l was coming inside for the night, after Tubbs had been fed and watered. I always though it was meant to be 'Red sky at night, farmers delight'. The middle picture was taken just before going to bed, when the sun was coming up again, and it looked even better. Surely there's a contradiction though, as it's 'Red sky in the morning, farmers warning'. The weather had not changed at all during those intervening few hours so something is afoot. l blame God (or those bloody farmers).

toodle pip

finished for the weekend - hit the hammock

Hurrah! l have finished work today and have no more until 2pm on Tuesday, although l may go in on Sunday evening for a couple of hours or so to help out.

Finished at 2pm today and then cycled home in the blazing sunshine. When the weather is hot and sunny and you are on your way home, it certainly lifts your spirits, and makes my tiny little legs pump that little bit harder (like my arse). Sat on the hammock listening to my ipod and reading, then had a meal outside in the garden, with the rabbits running around when the FPO arrived home. Dragged myself off for a bath afterwards, and have just finished watching the recordings of the Argentina win and France defeat. Also watched Eddie Izzard live from San Francisco, which l thought was Ok and had some good moments, but the FPO disagreed. Then again, what does she know? After all, l'm the comedy genius around these parts.

Hope it's sunny again tomorrow, we have visitors (damn!!!!) and the footie is on ("Come on Ingerlaand!") Another disaster probably awaits.

toodle pip

meal at robbos and inlaws gardening

I have only just uploaded these photos from last weekend, from when a free meal at Robbo and Kerry's was offered for Sunday and taken, the remains of which are photographed above.

The day before, Dazzer and Louise came down to visit and Dazzer (the mad git) got stuck into the gardening outside, digging out roots from the bushes. Luckily I could not assist as I had to go to work, but I did manage a couple of photos. The grass is no longer so high, as I cut it earlier on today (and hated every minute of it).

Can't say what for, but there was also a visit from armed police. I didn't get a good photo as it was too dark for the camera, but the gun and badge are on display (but not the face, as it was hideous!).

It's fun fun fun round these parts. See you in court.

toodle pip

a drunken night rat poisoning

These are the pictures from last night after trying to poison the bloody rats. I was taking pictures on the decent cameras, but the batteries were crap and I was trying to find some batteries that were OK, with little success. I had also had a wee bit of ale (classy bottles of Chard pictured) and couldn't remember how to put normal picture settings on my phone, which is what I ended up taking the pictures on. Never mind, the rats tucked into the poison and I did get some pictures. The biggest one even tried to pull the blue bowl that had the poison in underneath the hutch. I topped the bowl up before retiring for the night, and this morning ( I was informed) there was nothing left in it, so that's a good sign. It is also good that I am not scared of the buggers, as a big one came alongside me at one point, before climbing the fence next to me so he could get into the rabbits run for the food/poison. Let's see what happens next, it is now a battle of wits between me and them (oh oh). I am away at work tonight, so will put out more poison for them on Monday and Tuesday. I actually finish work on Thursday morning at 8am as I have a few days off before going away at the weekend, so I will have to sort out the rabbits cage, kill the remainder of the rats, and cut the bloody grass for the first time this year(Damn!). Can't wait.

toodle pip

living in the middle of nowhere

When I was trying to avoid the football scores at work yesterday, I decided to get out and have a short drive. That is when I thought it was like living in an episode of Wallander, it's pretty quiet and bleak around these parts, and the view when at home is about the same (top photo).

Thing is, it is also very close to the A1 and right in the middle of Newcastle, Leeds, Middlesbrough and York, so it's handy for mingling with the outside world whenever I want (only now and again).

Right, back to the sheep shagging.

toodle pip

the sky from our house

I took the dark pictures while out feeding Tubbs the rabbit, very late on. The rainbow was early on in the day from the spare room window while at the computer. It's a pity I couldn't find the decent camera for the night ones as it looked really spooky. Sadly, these were taken on my mobile and I didn't know how to zoom in and capture the scene effectively. Never mind.

most of the garden work is done (for now)

Bastard Bastard Bastard - l have been slaving away all day in the farmers field sawing the branches that got blown of the tree in the gales and throwing them over my fence for the bonfire on 7th November (l am away on the 5th). Sweating like a pig - l have never worked so hard in years. l don't do manual work, (much) and with good reason, it's knackering. l didn't realise till l got over the fence that three large branches had snapped off during the gales. Bastard trees and wind. It took fucking ages and l was cursing more and more as the time dragged on. Only just got cleaned up and out of the bath, going to demolish some red wine l got earlier to make up for it. It's going to be one hell of a bonfire!

toodle pip

garden work needs doing

Took these on the wrong setting - maybe l am drunker than l thought!

There were some pretty strong winds last night and this morning, so strong in fact, that a large branch belonging to one of the trees in the back garden has been snapped off, and is currently laying across our back fence. It's too heavy to lift so l will have to cut it up and add it to the bonfire. Damn! l hate manual work!
Also, the rats have come back and are going into the outside cage and bugging Tubbs (l assume). Going to put some rat poison down for them, but in the meantime, Tubbs is getting fed in the evening and then shut in his cage so the rats can't get to him or his food (little bastards that they are). About four ran out of his cage last night, so that can't go on. Had the same trouble with them last year, so l guess this is a new lot, as the others were all killed off. l should throw them on the bonfire as well, but l don't think that would go down very well.
The joys of living next to farmers fields.

toodle pip

gardening (not by night)

Before l went off to work yesterday, Dazzer and Louise turned up and said they wanted to help sort out the garden with Mandy (mad fools). l managed to avoid most of the work as l had things to do on the computer (as l am off to Bulgaria tomorrow) and went off to work, but still managed to hurt my back by putting bin bags full of crap into my car to dump (l mean take to the tip). It does look a lot better though.

Suppose they will have to come round for a bonfire night celebration/piss up now.

Last year we had the police around telling us to stop setting off rockets as it was not bonfire night. Got threatened with fine etc, but ignored them and heard no more. They will probably be around this year as well, as we are not doing it till the 7th Nov, seeing as l am away on a cruise and do not get back until about midnight on the 6th. Bring it on l say. Breaking the law, breaking the law.

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Nearly holiday time (again)

Last day at work coming up tomorrow, then it's a couple of days off before heading off to sunny Budapest. Suppose l had better sort out some funds for the trip (Hungarian Croats?) as it will probably take a bit longer to get the money exchanged. Off to the pictures tomorrow night at work, so it's not exactly going to be difficult work (mind you, depends what the film is like that we decide to see).

May have to cut to grass while l am off, its getting mighty long now, though l am tempted to pay someone to cut it for me. l will see how l feel and what the weather is like this week.
Speaking off which, the six day forecast in the Observer today has it down as fair weather for the next couple of days, then rain for the rest of the week. l still do not believe they can forecast more than 2 or 3 days in advance so l will keep an eye on it. Mind you, it's difficult not to keep an eye on the weather, unless l stay in bed all day, which, let's face it, is always an option.

Only just managed to get onto the computer today as Mandy has had it in constant use doing her Uni work. Gives me ample time to watch footie and read though. Beat Manchester City today and should stuff Wigan on Wednesday. lf that all goes according to plan, it means Manchester United will hopefully win the league against Arsenal while we are in Budapest. Hurrah!

Haven't watched tonight's Reunion of Fawlty Towers yet, just seen some clips. What the hell is wrong with Connie Booth now? She looks like an old grannie with too much white make up on. For Gods sake (there is no God by the way), sort it out!

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