seriously thick bleach

Now this seems a bit harsh. I blame the class system and probably a poor education.
Looks like it's a hard worker though, according to the statistics.

toodle pip

rare records cartoon

I can certainly relate to this, although l don't like the way he is manhandling the record.

No wonder l have ended up with Mr Parrot!

And to be extra pedantic - here's what the 1969 RCA pressings looked like (I'll get my own coat).

toodle pip

pete evans' food and drink for the day

Obviously taken from Matt Berry's twitter feed, and, as he says, a writers gift. You couldn't make this sort of crap up. Who the hell would want to live like that? I'd rather enjoy myself and die tomorrow, rather than fussing about everything l ate or drank, especially to that extent.

Life's meant to be for living (maaaaaaannnnnnnnn). Enjoy it while you can. 

Time for some cheese on toast. Anger is an energy, and using energy means refueling is needed.

So l'm allowed.

toodle pip

students first hand job experience

Come on!! Either Gale Rose who wrote this article, or maybe whoever did the header, must have known what they were doing with this headline.

toodle pip

ken dodd's death

I've always liked Ken Dodd when growing up. Not keen on a lot of the songs, and can't stand the diddymen, but l loved the non stop jokes, and his single 'Happiness' was one of the first songs l remember. I still like it and it's a fine motto to live by. Loved the fact he stayed in Liverpool, rather than moving south as soon as he became famous, unlike The Beatles (although l also love them).
I was tickled by him years ago (with his tickling stick) when he opened a shop in The New Strand in Bootle, and myself and some friends were planning on seeing him live later this year, ironically, to catch him before he died. That's now out of the window, but at least l've got this little beauty below, signed by him later in life.
We won't see his like again.

toodle pip

mr parrot unscrewing his climbing frame

To say that Mr Parrot is a clever little sod would be an understatement. He watched me putting his climbing frame together, and here he is is taking it apart again. Since then, the screws have been tightened up so he can't manage to do it again, but he is now pissed off.

toodle pip

pot growers given away

This made me chuckle.

From JB Barrington's twitter feed (obviously).

toodle pip

'spider' on the settee

This certainly freaked me out the other night. Mr Parrot had been pulling at the throw on the back of the settee while l was watching football on the TV, and it made it look like there was a big spider on it when l turned around.

To say l nearly crapped my pants would be an understatement. 

toodle pip

family guy's great job

Family Guy still has the ability to make me laugh out loud at some of their madder moments, and this is an fine example from the other day.
Probably the best job in the world.



toodle pip

dulwich football club, blake morgan and greendales - plus pressdram v arkell

I've got no affiliation with Dulwich Hamlet Football Club, but they have been going for 125 years and are in dispute with their landlords, who would probably like them to bugger off so they can sell the land (all praise capitalism!!).

So, in comes a solicitors letter from Blake Morgan, saying that Greendales IP LLC (The Company) have gone and trademarked Dulwich's name and website names, and they should stop using them when promoting themselves online or in print.

What a bunch of fucking bastards to do such a thing, even if it will be hopefully thrown out when contested, and Blake Morgan should be ashamed of themselves for taking the case on.

As a football fan and supporter of 'The little people', l say "Rise up!!!!  Direct action!!!!".  Make the bastards regret doing this. But obviously in a non violent way, as l would never condone such tactics.

They should use Private Eye's Pressdram v Arkell defence (below)

toodle pip

sex dolls

I've nicked this from one of my niece's (Hi Hayley) Facebook posts, as l found it pretty funny.

Remember - the sex dolls are coming!

toodle pip

the broken washer drier

Damn!!

My old washing machine finally packed in  a couple of weeks ago. This, despite the fact that when l noticed the drum wasn't spinning, it received a kick from me to make it work. This method was fine for a while, but it then started tripping the electrics, which even l thought may not be a good thing.

So, it was left outside, taken the next morning at 8am by the scrap men, and a new washer drier purchased.

All well and good, but l thought l'd switch the new machine on for a quick first wash with no clothes in it, and then noticed there were pipes left inside the drum. I stopped the machine, tried to open the door too fast, and promptly broke the door handle off. All before it had even washed any of my clothes.

Luckily l can still open the door using a broken chopstick (don't ask), and the machine is working fine.

Now l've got to decide whether to fix it or continue as l am.

Let's face it - the door will be like this for some time.

toodle pip

iphone x advert

The recent advert for the iphone x is doing my head in.

Sure, the woman in the advert is very attractive, the song is very catchy (All Night by Big Boi), and the singing animojis are cute, but there's something that's been really bugging me.

What the hell is the animoji on the right?

It just looks like a lump of poo - and don't try to convince me it's meant to be chocolate ice cream.

Bloody youth of today / what's the world coming to / wouldn't have got away with this when l was a lad ... blah blah blah blah etc

toodle pip

unsuspected filming

Looks like someone's filmed me when l wasn't expecting it!
A hilarious clip from the Shaun the Sheep movie



toodle pip

the chuckle brothers in funny incident shock

While l don't find The Chuckle Brothers funny in any way, shape, or form, this photograph of them meeting a fan always makes me laugh.

An outstanding optical illusion - look closely!

toodle pip

the guardian christmas party

An excellent tweet from Steve Stewart-Williams

toodle pip

david brent's sausage party

These pictures are probably old news now, but l never got around to posting them when l first got them. Ricky Gervais as David Brent, for sale in the shops, but looking suggestive next to Sausage Party, followed by a tweet from Ricky himself.

toodle pip

two poems - drunk and dusting

Two poems l can relate to, although l can't remember where l got the top one from.

toodle pip

evil cat - hugleikur dagsson

Nothing to say about this really, apart from it made me laugh, and obviously appealed to my sense of humour!

toodle pip

mr udine's one wheeled motorcycle

You've got to love a maverick, especially a maverick inventor. Here's M'G de Udine, with his one wheeled motorcycle in 1931.
You may think that Mr Udine and his bike look ridiculous, but it could reach speeds of 90 miles per hour.
No wonder he looks pleased with himself, although l bet his trousers are brown.

toodle pip