sex dolls

I've nicked this from one of my niece's (Hi Hayley) Facebook posts, as l found it pretty funny.

Remember - the sex dolls are coming!

toodle pip

old school football

I was flicking through some old football magazines and annuals the other day, and thought about this front cover of Charles Buchan's Soccer Gift Book, featuring Bobby Charlton of Manchester United. Look at the determination to get the (old leather) ball, despite being blocked off. Nowadays someone in his shoes / boots would be writhing around on the floor, clutching their face and pretending they had been elbowed, trying to get the other player sent off.
Pah! Modern bleeding footballers with their fancy coloured boots, beats headphones, tight shirts etc.
Don't get me started.

Also, despite me not liking Liverpool football club, here's the annuals back picture, featuring Billy Liddell. who used to play for them. He was my father's favourite player, and despite my advancing years, it was well before my time so I am unable to bear witness to how good he might have been, but l have heard others praising him over the years.

toodle pip

don letts confirms l was ahead of my time - plus skinhead reggae music

Many moons ago when l was out and about in New York, l often used to wear a green hat that looked a bit like a tea cosy. l was mocked by some of the people l was with for wearing it, but what can l say - l had style.
This has recently been confirmed when watching a Don Letts programme on the BBC about Skinhead culture. It was interesting and well presented by Don, but the main thing that stood out for me was that he was wearing exactly the same kind of green hat l was wearing back in the day.
A man of good taste obviously.

Also, l've often argued about the original skinheads love of reggae and their openness towards blacks at the time. This obviously changed for later skinheads, but here's some top reggae tunes that the skinheads used to like that l used to play constantly when driving my sister and her daughters about (and no - l'm not a skinhead or racist).

John Holt - Ali Baba



Dave and Ansell Collins - Double Barrell



Toots and the Maytals - Pressure Drop



toodle pip

the washing machine is fixed!

Hurrah!
After my post on Feb 15th about breaking the door of the new washing machine, l purchased a replacement part from ebay (below), and managed to dismantle the door and fit the new catch myself - with no instructions. Looks as though it would be easy, but it took a while, and was trickier than expected, trying to get my small rod into the hole (fnaaaar!!).
Works like a dream now, but l have had to throw away the chopstick l was using to open the broken door, as it snapped in half while trying to do so.
It was a decent one with patterns that l have had for years so it is a bit of a shame, but being a sad bastard, l will keep the remaining one as a souvenir.
Just what l need, more bleeding junk / interesting items around the house.

toodle pip

keith richards funeral

I will never get to go to Keith Richards' funeral (if he ever dies), but at least l've got close.
Hence the evidence from Monday.

toodle pip

the addams family home in colour

This just does not look right. A colour photograph from inside the home of  The Addams Family.
Because l've always seen it in black and white on the old TV series, it seems weirder than usual. However, l did notice they have the same Hookah pipe as me (the green and red thing at the bottom of the picture). My one's from Turkey).

toodle pip

singles as artwork

More interesting stuff that l've had for a while. 

Fancy getting one of your favourite songs re-imagined as a cool piece of art?

In that case, head to Tolhurst Vinyl Art, where plenty more examples like these can be found.

toodle pip

wildlife photographer of the year 2017

I've had these photographs for quite a while now. They are my favourite ones from The Natural History Museum's 2017 Wildlife Photographer Of The Year, but I never got around to posting them.
Until now!

toodle pip

charity shops heaven

Oh boy Oh boy - l struck lucky last week with my charity shops visit. Some of these books l have already read or have in different translations, and a lot of the cds l have copies of, but l nearly wet myself with excitement at finding this load of goodies.

As usual, all l need now is more time off work, and a bigger house to store all of my crap.

If only l could find this kind of stuff every time l went a searchin'.

                                             

toodle pip

the kiddie alarm clock

The Boro kids love me, but it's not so good first thing in the morning when you wake to this sight at an ungodly hour, followed by non stop attention from them.

Sometimes it's a curse being funny.

toodle pip

mr parrot's new stand

Hmm...Mr Parrot's new stand is a bit bigger than l thought it would be.

Still, he loves it now, so it will be staying

toodle pip

the broken washer drier

Damn!!

My old washing machine finally packed in  a couple of weeks ago. This, despite the fact that when l noticed the drum wasn't spinning, it received a kick from me to make it work. This method was fine for a while, but it then started tripping the electrics, which even l thought may not be a good thing.

So, it was left outside, taken the next morning at 8am by the scrap men, and a new washer drier purchased.

All well and good, but l thought l'd switch the new machine on for a quick first wash with no clothes in it, and then noticed there were pipes left inside the drum. I stopped the machine, tried to open the door too fast, and promptly broke the door handle off. All before it had even washed any of my clothes.

Luckily l can still open the door using a broken chopstick (don't ask), and the machine is working fine.

Now l've got to decide whether to fix it or continue as l am.

Let's face it - the door will be like this for some time.

toodle pip

iphone x advert

The recent advert for the iphone x is doing my head in.

Sure, the woman in the advert is very attractive, the song is very catchy (All Night by Big Boi), and the singing animojis are cute, but there's something that's been really bugging me.

What the hell is the animoji on the right?

It just looks like a lump of poo - and don't try to convince me it's meant to be chocolate ice cream.

Bloody youth of today / what's the world coming to / wouldn't have got away with this when l was a lad ... blah blah blah blah etc

toodle pip

ladies who lunch

One of the downsides of working with a load of women - getting dragged out for lunch!

Ah well, at least it's an addition to my ongoing collection of pilfered menus

toodle pip

teeside training instructions

I had to go to Stockton a week or so ago for some training, to a place l hadn't been before.

These are my rather untidy instructions that l put together the night before (at about 2am!).

It may look like gibberish to the ordinary layman, but they make perfect sense to me.

toodle pip

new years fitness regime with ozzy osbourne

I went to read a second hand copy of Ozzy Osbourne's 'I am Ozzy' a couple of weeks ago, and this fell out of it. Somebody's fitness regime for the New Year in 2012. The places they describe are very close to where l live, so l might even know the person who wrote it, and I'm curious to know whether they stuck to it.

I think l left my fitness regime in the pub

toodle pip

unsuspected filming

Looks like someone's filmed me when l wasn't expecting it!
A hilarious clip from the Shaun the Sheep movie



toodle pip

haircut time again

This may not look like a lot of hair, but trust me, it is. Just the thing to do as the weather gets colder!

 l am now training my remaining hair to adapt to a new style.

toodle pip

shaun ryder on ecstasy and god's copper

Amongst the many books l've read recently, one was Shaun Ryder's autobiography, 'Twisting my Melon'. In it, he repeats what l (and many others) have been saying for years about ecstasy making people friendlier and it doing away with most of the football violence and general fighting on a night out. As he states, it's now a cliche as it's so well accepted amongst any right thinking folk.

Sadly, as the big clubs and raves are dying out, ecstasy use is being replaced by other drugs such as cocaine, and the football violence is coming back. Time for a revival methinks.

Also, the Anderton he refers to was James Anderton, the chief constable of police for Manchester, who was known as 'God's Copper', due to him stating that he had a direct line to God, which affected his views on morality.

Tosser.

toodle pip

the chuckle brothers in funny incident shock

While l don't find The Chuckle Brothers funny in any way, shape, or form, this photograph of them meeting a fan always makes me laugh.

An outstanding optical illusion - look closely!

toodle pip

the guardian christmas party

An excellent tweet from Steve Stewart-Williams

toodle pip

bbc head of crm post available

Thinking of working at the BBC?
There's a job going as head of CRM, l assume to any management geek that can even understand what the job entails.
I'm sad to report that my licence fee pays for this kind of management gobbledygook.
More information here.

toodle pip

david brent's sausage party

These pictures are probably old news now, but l never got around to posting them when l first got them. Ricky Gervais as David Brent, for sale in the shops, but looking suggestive next to Sausage Party, followed by a tweet from Ricky himself.

toodle pip