celebrity mugshots

Robert Downey Jr looks pretty pleased with himself in the first of his photos, and look at Heather Locklear's eyes. Whatever she is on, l want.

more martin schoeller photos

Dennis Hopper actually looks really well, considering what he has put his body and mind through. Then again, l suppose you could say the same about Iggy.

toodle pip

two idiots in the living room

Both as stupid as each other.

toodle pip

the bastard bushes

These are the stinking bushes that are outside our house. Easily the most overgrown ones on our estate. This year, something will have to be done to them - l'm all for throwing petrol on them but the FPO says no to that. I guess they will just have to be chopped down and pulled out the old fashioned way. Boring boring boring

toodle pip

martin schoeller photos

These are just great - the lighting - the close ups - the natural look - the stripping away off the star element (although it still shines through with some participants). I like it.

toodle pip

rutland weekend television - bob dylan pisstake

When l were but a nipper, l used to love Monty Python's Flying Circus (even though a lot of it was shite). Later on, there was Rutland Weekend Television, which was also pretty much hit and miss as far as the comedy went. One thing l do like to think l remember, was taping Rutland Weekends parody of The Old Grey Whistle Test, which l thought included a piss take off Bob Dylan. After buying a bootleg DVD of the series, l realised it was not on that show. I then thought l was going insane, and couldn't think of where l had originally seen it. Sanity was restored however, as it was on a later episode with the same Whistle Test piss taking (but with the real Bob Harris ). It turns out my memory is not too messed up after all. Now if l could only remember where l left my heroin, l could be high as a kite pretty damn soon.

Here is the script for the song, which some mad fool posted

THE REAL BOB HARRIS: So there we are. Those were of course the Fabulous Bingo Brothers. And make a note that very soon ... we'll be having an entire Whistle Test program without them. ... Well, here's our last studio guest tonight, who needs no introduction from me, so until next week, goodnight.    (He grins and looks offscreen. Fade to the studio. Raymond Onassis [Neil Innes] walks on, performing a number Neil is pretty well known for. He wears shades, a mouth harmonica, a light blue jacket, light blue pants, and that red and green cap he wears a lot in these shows.)    PROTEST SONG  Words and Lyrics by Neil Innes  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------    NEIL:  Uh, this next number is a protest song.  (He tunes his guitar for ages.)  Uh, I've suffered for my music, and ... now it's your turn.   (He plays a terrible harmonica solo, then sings a la Bob Dylan:)  All the prophets of doom   can always find room   In a world full of worry and fear   Tip cigarettes and chemistry sets   And rudolph the red-nosed reindeer   So I'm goin back to my little old shack   And drink me a bottle of wine   That was mis en bouteille before my birthday   And have me a fantastic time   Rain on a tin roof sounds like a drum   We're marching for freedom today   Yeay   Turn on your headlights and sound your horn   If people get in the way  (Another terrible harmonica solo.)   Let me turn you on to the chromium swan   On the nose of a long limousine   Even hired for the day  It is something to say   But what the hhehhellll does it mean   I may be accused of being confused   But I'm average weight for my height   My philosophy  Like color tv   Is all there in black and white   RAAAAAAINN on a tin roof sounds like a drum   We're marching for freedom today   Yeay!   Turn on your headlights and sound your horn (toot toot)  If people get in the way    (He plays one last loooong harmonica note, falling out of frame, then comes back into frame and ends it. He gives the beast sign, then bumps into the microphone. He can't see in those shades!)    (Back to host Bridget, overwhelmed by flowers, and still smiling.)    BRIDGET: Well, that's about the size of it. Rutland Weekend is closing down now, so until next week, goodnight everybody!

toodle pip

a night in with the new york dolls - jet boy

Been in all evening with the FPO, and after watching some ' Gimme Gimme Gimme' and ' Question Time' we agreed (after a little bit of persuasion) to watch some DVD's of The Old Grey Whistle Test , also agreeing to give the songs a chance, by covering our eyes (in some cases l wish, my ears). Anyhows, after much drink and deliberation, l have decided The New York Dolls version of Jet Boy is the best musical experience known to man. A close second would be Status Quo. doing Caroline on Top Of the Pops in 1973. Anyone who disagrees (at this moment in time) is a blithering idiot.

toodle pip

manchester united 19 times flag at liverpool

This was unfurled at Liverpools last home game of the season (against Spurs). Class. Here's a quote from one of the lads that did it.

We’d been planning this for years and i’m buzzin it’s come off. We’d gotten 2 tickets in the Anfield upper and got the banner made on Friday. As we walked up towards the ground i had the biggest ****in grin on me head knowing we were about to pull it off. My only worry was not getting in with it. I shouldn’t have worried. A few beers on the concourse and we waited for YNWA to start as that was our signal to go. We walked down to the front of the teir and unfurled it. We had to hold it up cos there was nothing to tie it onto and it was up for for roughly 40 seconds before i got launched by the stewards. A bit of spit and that was all. It was a ****in scouse slag that spat at me too i think

Fair play to the Spurs fans who were buzzin and we threw it down into their end. Afterwards we walked round the ground and then had a couple of pints near Goodison with an Everton lad my mate knew and got a call saying their lads were looking for us. Not suprising really is it!

toodle pip

owl picture by kim steininger

Very cool indeed

toodle pip

philip roth and carman callil

The Man Brooker prize (yawn) has been emroiled in controversy (yawn), as Philip Roth won the £60,000 prize, but Carmen Callil, the founder of feminist publishers Virago Press (yawn) walked from the panel, saying she did not rate Philip Roth's work at all. If she does not like his books, that's fair enough, but she was on a panel (of only three people - why?), so she should have stated her reasons for liking (or not liking) whatever books were to be judged, the same as everyone else on the panel. They then choose a winner after all the arguments have been put forward. That is what the panel is there for, which she obviously knew in advance. To then walk off in a strop, quitting on the eve of the announcement, because you disagreed with the panels choice is pathetic (the other two loved the Roth book). Probably just doing it to get publicity, so l am actually assisting her in my own small way. Damn!!

Nearly forgot - She also said no-one would read Philip Roth in 20 years time. Well l loved Portnoy's Complaint when l was a nipper, and that was over 20 years ago. I think Roth will be read in the future a lot more than she will. Bloody woman, she gives feminists a bad name.

toodle pip

richard wiseman - quirkology

Not as good as Paranormality http://cheaperdrugsnow.blogspot.com/2011/03/richard-wiseman-paranormality.html but still interesting. Too long spent on the joke part (IMHO).

toodle pip

robert burns - to a mouse

To a Mouse (1785)

English version

Small, crafty, cowering, timorous little beast,
O, what a panic is in your little breast!
You need not start away so hasty
With argumentative chatter!
I would be loath to run and chase you,
With murdering plough-staff.

I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
And justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth born companion
And fellow mortal!

I doubt not, sometimes, but you may steal;
What then? Poor little beast, you must live!
An odd ear in twenty-four sheaves
Is a small request;
I will get a blessing with what is left,
And never miss it.

Your small house, too, in ruin!
Its feeble walls the winds are scattering!
And nothing now, to build a new one,
Of coarse grass green!
And bleak December's winds coming,
Both bitter and keen!

You saw the fields laid bare and wasted,
And weary winter coming fast,
And cozy here, beneath the blast,
You thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel plough passed
Out through your cell.

That small bit heap of leaves and stubble,
Has cost you many a weary nibble!
Now you are turned out, for all your trouble,
Without house or holding,
To endure the winter's sleety dribble,
And hoar-frost cold.

But little Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!

Still you are blest, compared with me!
The present only touches you:
But oh! I backward cast my eye,
On prospects dreary!
And forward, though I cannot see,
I guess and fear!

toodle pip

kurt vonnegut - jailbird - cats cradle - armageddon

Walter F Starbuck is released from prison and makes a succes of his life through his old acquaintances. It deals with the working class workforce, capatilism, communism, and Watergate. It also features Kilgore Trout! Excellent.

John (Jonah) plans to write a book about what happened on the day Hiroshima was bombed. He ends up in San Lorenzo as the president, but there is some trouble with (to say the least) ice-nine that Felix Hoenikker (based on Irving Langmuir) has invented. It also deals a lot with religion, with Bokonoism featured throughout, and the stupidity of the arms race. More excellence from Kurt (as l call him). I also learnt from this that 'Of mice and men' is from a Robert Burns poem (To a Mouse).

A selection of letters, drawings, and a speech given just before he died, mainly concerning war. I prefer the novels, but this was still pretty good. Has a foreword from his son.

After re-reading Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut (http://cheaperdrugsnow.blogspot.com/2011/01/slaughterhouse-5-kurt-vonnegut.html) I got myself a hankering to read some more of his stuff. I have since ploughed through the above, which have also been pretty damn good. I aim to continue with his stuff until the quality drops (or l do).

toodle pip

books and book shelves

I love clutter, shelves, records, CDs, DVD,s books, junk and comics. Therefore l have a lot of stuff around the house, some stored properly on shelves, other stuff in boxes, wardrobes, under the bed, in the attic and in the garage. In fact, in just about every available space. I can easily salivate just looking at these photos of other peoples collections. If l had enough money and space, l would want all of those books. Throw in the booze, and you have one happy chappy. Penguin classics and booze, what's not to like?

toodle pip

300 foot tall redwood tree

That is a mighty tall, mighty damn tall tree. If you look closely, there is a man at the foot of it (probably pissing). Impressive stuff, it makes me want to go out and kick the bark off the crappy trees l have in the back garden. The hammock fits across two of them perfectly, so they may be spared, but the other tree had better be on it's guard, mark my words.

toodle pip

my clown face

I am just about to send off for copyright on it (register my egg)

toodle pip

have l got news for you

I watched this weeks episode of HIGNFY (with Richard Herring as a panellist) and thought it was pretty good. No great news there, but myself and the FPO were discussing how quick the replies on the show were (l think she was trying to hint they were funnier than me). I obviously do not believe this to be the case, and argued about it being edited, so they would have had a lot longer to think of replies. Later on, reading Richard Herring's blog about it ( http://www.richardherring.com/warmingup/?id=3118 ), he confirmed that the show takes about two hours of recording time, which is then cut down to half an hour. In fact, there was a bit about him asking out one of the other panellists 20 years ago, which was said when the show was over, but the cameras continued to record them. This was then edited into the show to make it look as though it was during it. WHHHAAAATTTT??????? I always thought l could trust TV shows - my illusions are shattered, but at least l am still funnier than most of the panellists (I tip my hat to Paul Merton).

toodle pip

missing posters

Clever ideas - wish l had thought about it first

toodle pip

bernie mac - milk and cookies from the original kings of comedy dvd

After watching 'Soul Men' the other night, l got me a hankering for some Bernie Mac stand up. This is my favourite routine of his. He sure was one hell of a funny guy. Now "bust a motherfuckin' move"

toodle pip

carson spur in the 1930's - saucy kids

The girl on the left looks a bit saucy. Showing off her tummy, digging her toes in the sand, and just check out her expression (it can be enlarged - the photo, not he expression). Those crazy kids back in the day....

Don't get too worked up - she could be your grannie (or great grannie)

toodle pip

bands l wish l had seen (at their peak) # 19 bob marley - redemption song

One of my biggest disappointments (and l have had many) was when l was in Jamaica, as l wanted to go exploring and nightclubbing, but it was just too dodgy (and l have been in some dodgy places), as l was getting bugged by the locals all the time. Still love Bob though.

toodle pip

bands l wish l had seen (at their peak) # 12 status quo - paper plane

From when they were still a rock band - it all went downhill with 'The Wild Side of Life' (before 'Rocking All Over The World' for you youngsters).

toodle pip

bands l wish l had seen (at their peak) # 111 t.rex - life's a gas

I used to (and still do) love Marc Bolan (this is the real #1 gig l would have loved to have gone to when they were at their peak (1971 - 1972)

toodle pip

bands l wish l had seen (at their peak) # 31 the sex pistols - anarchy in the uk

This is the real Pistols, although l must admit, Sid nailed the image, so it would have been great to see them with him, probably on their 1977 USA tour, getting heckled by the rednecks, and Sid scrawling 'gimme a fix' on his chest. Phew! Rock and roll!

toodle pip

bands l wish l had seen (at their peak) # 26 led zeppelin - rock and roll

Yeeeesssssssss!!!!!!!

toodle pip

bands l wish l had seen (at their peak) # 23 bob dylan - tangled up in blue

There are so many of Dylan's songs l could have chosen - he is God (or as close as we are likely to get).

toodle pip

bands l wish l had seen (at their peak) # 7 iggy pop - the passenger

Can't find a decent clip from the early 1970's, but this is still excellent

toodle pip

bands l wish l had seen (at their peak) # 4 deep purple - highway star

Deep Purple - l used to love them

toodle pip

bands l wish l had seen (at their peak) # 1 ike and tina turner - river deep mountain high

I wouldn't normally think about Ike and Tina Turner when asked about bands l wished l had seen (at their peak), but this is fantastic and l wish l had. More soon..... (drink has been taken)

toodle pip

psychoville 2

This has been pretty good so far, but seem to be spending a lot of time setting up the plot/narrative. On the other hand, Tina Turner was funny as fuck (and also pretty sad at the end). Look out for Silent Singer, she's bound to play a major role later in the series.

toodle pip

soul men (2008)

Starring Bernie Mac and Samuel L. Jackson, this is a standard story about a band reforming for a show at the Apollo Theater, and getting their groove back. I wanted to watch it because Bernie Mac is one hell of a funny guy, and he did have his moments, but ultimately, the film was a disappointment. It was just not that funny, although l have read that it was heavily re-edited after the deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes to soften the tone of it. Maybe that's where it went wrong. lt could have done with a lot more of Bernie cussin' and being himself, although there is a short tribute to him at the end of the film when the credits are coming up.

toodle pip

part three of the sand sculptures

And still pretty damn good!

toodle pip

werner herzog - cave of forgotten dreams

Off to Richmond station pictures today to see Werner Herzog,'s Cave of Forgotten Dreams, which is a 3D film documentary of the Chauvet Cave in Southern France. These were discovered in 1994 and have ancient artwork from about 32.000 years ago, preserved in pristine condition (like l would like my Spider-man comics to be) due to a landslide blocking the entrance. It was great, you can really experience what it must be like in the caves, as the contours, rocks and floor all come out at you. Public access is denied, so this is as close as l am likely to get to them, although there is talk of building a replica a few miles away. Old Werner is a bit of a hippy, asking us to listen to our heartbeat, and imagining us as albino crocodiles (it's a long story), but that only added to the film. The spooky pipe and groaning music (I should trademark that term) sounded excellent as well, a bit better than it would on my sound system. A good result all round - even the FPO liked it, so that's a date night ticked off.

toodle pip

survivors of the first world war

Florence Green

Claude Choules

Survivors of the First World War. Nine years ago there were 700. Times are moving on and it's the end of an era. Nearly 65 million people took part in the war, and about 10 million died. Now there are two left - Claude Choules and Florence Green. This is history we are losing, but there is no way to stop it (l blame God).

UPDATE - JUST DISCOVERED CLAUDE DIED ON THE 5TH MAY. ONLY FLORENCE LEFT.

toodle pip.

the exorcist ad

Dirt Devil-The Exorcist from MrPrice2U on Vimeo.

One of the best ads l have ever seen

toodle pip

young kids today asked about the beatles

Little ignorant bastards. Shoot them.

toodle pip

microwave for one

How sad do you want to be?

toodle pip

rammstein - buck dich - rock or gay?

Now l like a bit of The Human League, Scooter, Industrial and The Nine Inch Nails, but Rammstein take it to another level (OK - l admit it - Nine Inch Nails are also pretty crazy). The thing is, l can't ever imagine buying a Rammstein record/download (music can be downloaded for free now you old farts/hippies). I also can't understand the lyrics (my German is basic), and some of their songs are well dodgy/gayish. Trouble is, l still think they are great and l am glad they are out there (or not out, if you know what l mean). This is another great/dodgy song, but it really has to be watched after the 3 minute mark to get the full benefit/disgust factor. Those crazy crazy Germans.

toodle pip

nurse jackie - series 2

Finished watching this last weekend, and got some grief from the FPO as l had been watching it at work and she had missed the whole series (although l am sure l told her it was starting). Obviously as a man of the world, a bon viveur, a rodgerer and a puker, and a man with many interests and hobbies, time is of the essence. I see, read and watch copious amounts by myself, and find the precious time to do so, by not watching so many cookery/modelling/makeover programmes. I shall say no more on the matter. By the way, the series was great and she (Edie Falco - Nurse Jackie) is exposed (not in that way) at the end. Series 3 is on soon. I repeat -

Series 3 is on soon.

toodle pip