chocolate from joes

As they say in the 'Airplane!' film,  I've picked a fine day to give up chocolate.  I called round to Joes earlier  this evening as his leg/knee was playing up, and he may have to go back into hospital.  He is seeing how he gets on in the next couple of days, but before l headed back home, l was presented with a box of goodies that contained a mixture of chocolates from Cadbury's.  Joe gets them free for some reason (maybe because he owned/owns shares?) but doesn't eat the stuff, so the FPO was happy, and l attacked the Liquorice Allsorts watching United pull back a 0-2 deficit to win 3-2 against Braga.  What a pleasant evening.  Now l'll have to find a place to hide the rest of the chocs or we will be sitting and stuffing our faces every night.

toodle pip

marijuana - the devils harvest

It's fortunate that l have never been bothered about smoking this (unless in Amsterdam, where it is compulsory), as it doesn't look too healthy for you.
If you are ever in doubt, just ask yourself 'what would Keith do'?
Stick to class 'A's is what l say (although l am a good boy now).


toodle pip

elizabeth taylor giving it some glamour

There's a new book out about Elizabeth Taylor, that has lots of 'revelations' about her love life.  I'm not going to publicise it by naming it, as l don't believe half of what has been written, and the information has been sourced from people who are now (conveniently) dead.  I don't know how Taylor managed to find any time to act with all of the shagging she was up to, and that also goes for her husbands, as they were not just with her, but were bisexual and at it with other males as well (according to the book).  Sex sells, and the book (fiction?)  will get a lot of publicity, but l would like to have seen them try and put it out while Taylor was still alive.
Anyway, the reason for the post is the accompanying picture that was used in The Daily Mirror review of it.  That's how film stars should present themselves - looking their best at all times, glamourous, unreachable, and way too good for us peasants (or civilians as we are known).
As for todays stars?  Pah!
Amateurs!

toodle pip

andre muniz gonzagadalata's rock painting

Andre Muniz Gonzanga is a Brazilian artist who has been painting rocks, to amusing effect.  It's a great idea, and probably not original  (I can't be bothered looking for older examples), but they still look great, and pretty humorous (as well as somewhat disturbing).  His flickr stream is here, where there are lots more, including larger scale artworks on cars and houses, but l think the smaller scale stuff on rocks are more striking in their own way.
Now l'm off to dig out the old paints for a bit of landscape adjustment around our way (not for the first time).

toodle pip

venom halloween make up

Venom is one of the best comic creation of the last few years, and this makeup featuring the Venom face looks pretty good and would be ideal for Halloween.  You'll just have to hope it doesn't become part of you and unable to get off afterwards.

toodle pip

the birth of galactus

I am off work today, so had a lazy morning reading the top two comics before dragging myself out of my pit to doss about.  They  are 'The Origin of Galactus' and The Fantastic Four story 'The Trial Of Reed Richards', and both (you may have guessed) concern 'Galactus'.  They approach his origin from different angles, and in the FF comic his morality is also bought into question (top philosophical musings ahoy!).  I am just a sucker for some of the old Marvel comics stuff, and consider people such as Stan Lee and Jack Kirby Gods amongst us mere mortals (a bit like Odin or Galactus himself).  Looks like l might be reading the (Mighty) Thor story 'Galactus a Borning' (issue #162 fact fans) tomorrow morning.  When l get round to it, l'll  post up all the scans here.  Enjoy!

toodle pip

candy - terry southern and mason hoffenberg

I bought this book second hand as l saw it was written by Terry Southern,  who l know from such films as 'The Magic Christian' (starring Ringo), 'Easy Rider', and 'Dr Strangelove').   He has a satirical piss taking style that l like and can identify with,  and 'Candy' was also advertised on the cover as being banned upon it's release in 1958 (so of course l had to give it a go and read it).   Southern wrote it under the name of 'Maxwell Fenton', and there were sex scenes a plenty,   but to these jaded and unshockable eyes,  it wasn't that outrageous.   Supposedly based on Voltaire's 'Candide' (one of my favourite books),  Candy Christian is 18 year old,  sexy,  innocent and naive,  who is repeatedly taken advantage of (mainly in sexual ways),  by just about everybody that she comes into contact with.  She on the other hand,  always sees the good side of everything and deludes herself concerning their motives towards her.  It's comedic and would have pushed boundaries back in the 1950's,  but l don't consider it any worse than some of Tom Sharpe's books,  which l find much funnier (and also dirty).  I'm glad that l have read this, but would recommend some Tom Sharpe stuff instead of this if there had to be  a choice,  especially 'Riotous Assembly' and 'Indecent Exposure',  which deal with Apartheid in South Africa (they're a lot funnier than that sounds).  Don't let the TV series of 'Blot On The Landscape' put you off, the books are much better.

toodle pip

einstein and little albert

There are a few wacky photographs of Einstein floating around, and some have been mass produced on posters or t shirts (like the ones below).  I like the one above though, taken in 1931, as it has the great man himself, playing with a dummy of little Albert.  I don't know who dressed or made the dummy, or where it is nowadays, but it looks like it is wearing a skirt.  Maybe Einstein is trying to drop us all a hint he was a cross dresser.  Then again - maybe not.

toodle pip

take shelter (2011) - jeff nichols

I kind of enjoyed 'Take Shelter', but strangely, never felt that moved or involved with the characters, and didn't feel a lot of empathy towards them, but l couldn't say it was due to bad acting. Maybe it was the pace of the movie, or the script itself.  As l said, l can't really put my finger on why l felt unmoved, as it all appeared to be fine, but there was (to me) a lack of tension, and at the films end, l just kind of shrugged and got on with my day.
It stars Michael Shannon (the God fearing police officer in Boardwalk Empire) as Curtis LaForche, a husband who starts to have terrifying  apocalyptic visions, which make him prepare a shelter so he can save his family.  On the other hand, his mother had mental problems, and maybe it's the case that he is having them as well, and his wife Samantha (Jessica Chastain) and Hannah (his deaf daughter) need to be protected from him.  His family and friends doubt him, he acts crazy and he loses his job, but one day, the sirens start to wail, so the family head to the shelter to 'Take Shelter'.  Has he been proved right?  Is he a hero?  Watch and find out.

toodle pip

the home made skeleton

As l have a lot of time on my hands, l had a go at making a paper skeleton (as you do).  I gave up halfway through, as it was looking nothing like the one in the black background photograph that l was striving towards, and l felt like smashing its grinning little face in.  No wonder l have never had the patience to learn guitar.  If you want to download the template and have a go yourself, head over to digitprop.com..

toodle pip

l'm ahead of my time with handy hints

I've always known l was an ideas man who is ahead of my time! On a website with handy hints for the home (OK, l have too much time on my hands), l saw these.  Things l am already doing, although l use a vodka bottle for my pancake mixture (it's more rock and roll).  The FPO thinks l'm a sad git, but sites like this confirm that l have been right all along!  Methinks it's time for a re-appraisal in our household.

toodle pip

hitler learns about jimmy savile

Is there no end to the ways the Hitler clip can be used?  Great stuff.

toodle pip

wilbur wants to kill himself and circle of eight

Two films that l tried to watch today, but gave up on.  Wilbur is trying to kill himself, but his brother keeps saving him.  He then meets a girl in the bookshop they own, and.... by then l couldn't care less, and wished he had managed an early death, to put us both out of our misery. Based in Scotland, the characters aren't likeable or interesting, and it just stank of dreariness.

As for Circle of Eight, a woman moves into an 'artistic' apartment, which is inhabited by weird, wacky, cool and sexy inhabitants, who soon make themselves known to her.  She hooks up with one of them, but then strange things start to happen.....The consequences of which, l have no idea, as non of it was convincing, most of the characters were two dimensional and annoying, and l was hoping they would all be killed by the end, but there was no way l was going to stick around for another hour to find out if they would make my wish come true.  I did switch over with my fingers crossed, just in case, and full of hope.

Who commissions, makes, and knocks out this crap?  Haven't they got eyes, ears or a brain?
Bastards!

toodle pip

hell bent for leather - seb hunter

I picked up 'Hell Bent For Leather' in the local Oxfam shop last saturday, and it was an enjoyable enough read, as a lot of the bands that are referenced in the book, l know from when l was into Metal/Rock (a lot more than l am now).  This is the story of Seb(astian) Hunter, who discovers music (AC/DC) and guitars, plays in bands around Winchester, and then leaves for the bright lights of London to make it big, and have all of his rock and roll dreams come true. It doesn't happen of course, and he eventually becomes an author, but along his individual path of knowledge there are treaties on guitars, band logos, metal bands and how to look cool while playing in metal bands.  That is, until Glam Rock (the 1980's version) comes along and he is swept up with the Dogs D'Amour look and attitude, until Nirvana and Indie come along to kill the scene and force him to reconsider his musical outlook.  I don't agree with some of his views on bands (Deep Purple and Status Quo used to be great in my eyes), but l enjoyed most of the book, as it was pretty self deprecating, and mostly spot on.  Memories of staying in squats, bumming about, and drinking in 'The Intrepid Fox' (when it was in Soho) and 'The Hellfire Club' were stirred, as l used to go to them myself, and many a mad night was had in them (Oh Yes!).  There was no mention of 'The Spice Of Life', which was also pretty popular around the time frame he is referencing, but l'll forgive him that.  For those of us that were in bands, wearing hats and bangles, dreaming of stardom, and loving Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, The Rolling Stones etc, parts of this rang way too true and close to the bone. I even met the FPO when l was into Hanoi Rocks and wearing a hat with a scarf around it. The only trouble now, is she can still fit into my old tour t shirts.  My father was also a sarcastic alcoholic (now dead), but in the school of hard knocks l inhabited, there were no guitars or pianos around the house, no trips to buy guitars, and certainly no rides to concerts or offers to manage the band. Despite all of this, it was purely my lack of talent that prevented me being a star, no matter where l came from. Still, better to try and fail than not bother and regret it later (he says bitterly).

toodle pip

jimmy savile's flat up for sale

It looks as though Jimmy Savile's penthouse flat overlooking Roundhay Park in Leeds is up for sale.  A snip at £325,000, although it needs some work doing to it, and l bet there will be a few stains that will be hard to shift.  If you are interested in seeing more photographs of it (or making an offer), go here.

toodle pip

the rained off football game

I switched on the TV last night to catch the end of the Poland v England game, only to find it had been postponed because of a waterlogged pitch in Warsaw.
Now l may well be an idiot, and there might be an easy explanation for this, but why didn't they close the roof of the stadium if they were expecting so much rain?  Otherwise, what's the point?
You know who l blame?  The foreign betting syndicates for it not closing, and God himself for the downpour.  Maybe he just didn't fancy England's chances on the night (It's been re-arranged for this afternoon).
Maybe it's true.  God is an Englishman (or doesn't like football)!

toodle pip

the endeavour space shuttle transfer

This must have been pretty amazing to see, with a side order of surreal thrown in for good measure.  The Space Shuttle Endeavour has completed it's last flight, so has been moved from LAX (Los Angeles) Airport to it's new home at the Californian Science Centre in Exposition Park.  Along the route, it had to travel very, very  slowly, as it could only just fit past some of the houses and trees, and overhead wires and some signs had to be dismantled.  It's something you don't get to see on an everyday occurrence, that's for sure.
The photographs are from The LA Times and more details of the day by day transportation can also be found on their page.

toodle pip

starbucks pays no tax

This is the sort of stuff that pisses me off when we are 'All in it together'.  I get sick of going on about how the Tories look after the rich, but there's more about the Starbucks tax avoidance at Channel 4 news here.  Boycott them and their stinking overpriced cups of froth (and eat the rich). 'All in it together' my arse.

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