colburn council houses being renovated

My sister lives in a council house in Colburn, Catterick (the lucky woman), and Richmond council have recently been tarting them up a bit.  However, their plan for the outside wiring was to leave it exposed, as in the photographs above (the brown bits).  Of course nobody is happy with this, and the tenants have protested.
Who on earth thought it would be a good idea to leave the houses in that state?  I'm sure they wouldn't want their own houses to look that way, so why should the council tenants have to put up with it?
The last l heard, talks were ongoing.

toodle pip

the colburn lodge is being renovated

At long last!  It doesn't look it in these photographs, but at long last, The Colburn Lodge  pub in Catterick is being renovated.  Apparently it is going to be some kind of restaurant which will also sell meat.  That is the gossip the the pub, but who knows, it might be completely wrong.
No doubt we will be finding out soon, but l can't see it being open again until well into next year, no matter what is being done.
At least it is not being knocked down, as it is a local landmark, and the scene of many a happy night out over the years, especially when 60 squadron used to be based over the road from it.

toodle pip

dairy milk mousse snowman

Ohhhhh Santa must be excited this year.  It's hard (fnaaar) to believe that this is a genuine product, but go ahead, fill your boots (fnaaar again), it's true (and funny as f###############k)


toodle pip.

me being a senile old git and forgetting about rupert thomson books

l am definitely losing my marbles, my memory, or both (have l already written this?).
One of my recent second hand purchases was 'Soft' by Rupert Thomson, as l have been reading some of his other works, enjoyed them, and thought l would read more of the same (as you do).
One tiny snag is, once l started reading it, l realised l had already read it.  I had completely forgotten l had, and can hardly remember anything about it, apart from it involves an addictive drink. I blame the different covers (and God).  They confuse a senile old git like me.
Now l don't know whether to feed it to my parrot in disgust, or just crumble, admit l am a doddery, drooling, half mad imbecile, and read it again.
The trouble is, if l re-read it, l feel as though l am wasting valuable time that could be spent reading something else that l haven't already read, as l always have a pile of books waiting to be cracked open, and life is short.
Time for my nap, l'm getting a headache thinking about it..

toodle pip

the bar bill at mortons private club

Spencer Matthews from 'Made in Chelsea' (whoever and whatever he/that is) has tweeted a bar bill from Mortons private club in Mayfair, which shows the amount paid as £488706.08.  Now this might not be his bill, it could be printed out as a laugh, and some on t'net think the bill was actually £48,706.08.
The thing is, even if it was printed out as a laugh, it is not too difficult to imagine some posh bastards on a night out spending that kind of money.  A Methuselah of vintage Crystal goes for about £40,000, so the bill can soon start totting up, especially if you are flashing the cash, sharing the booze, and trying to impress people. I thought l was living the high life in New York a few years ago ordering $300 bottles of champagne (I blame the drugs), but this is ridiculous.
England has always had an elite hierarchy, and a gap between the  poor and the very rich, but the current government is making the gap between them expand  at an alarming rate, while simultaneously trying to victimise the poor, sick and vulnerable members of the society they are meant to represent.
Meanwhile, the rich have the time of their lives, and inhabit a different planet and mindset.
Bastards!
Time for a revolution brothers and sisters.

toodle pip

psychics and rock stars getting charged

There were two bits of news today that may well be the start of something larger.
The first one was the conviction of Sylvia Mitchell, a 'clairvoyant', who has been jailed for up to 15 years for conning vulnerable people out of their money, saying that their 'attachment to money' created 'negative energy'.  Of course the people were idiots for believing her and handing over large amounts of money to her (one handed over about £75,000), but it is still fraud, and if l had my way, a lot more would also be charged, and who knows, after this case, may well be.

Sylvia Mitchell

The other news is that the now 72 year old Roy Harper, an English folk singer who has sang on Pink Floyd albums and is a close friend of Jimmy Page, has been charged with having sex between 1975 and 1977 with a girl who was 12 when it started. (a charge he denies) and will appear at Hereford court on Monday.
If they are going to start arresting non light entertainment stars now, there are quite a few rock stars that will be crapping in their satin loons, as there is plenty of proof of underage sexual exploits amongst some of the most famous bands in the UK (with Jimmy Page and Bill Wyman being two that should be more than a little worried).  It will be interesting to see how this line of enquiry develops in the future.

Roy Harper

Saying all that, if someone is named and shamed, and there is enough evidence, they should be bought to court and given a chance to free their name, and not have the allegations drag on for what must seem like forever for them.  Some of the Operation Yewtree cases need to have closure of some kind pretty soon, one way or the other.  If they are guilty, they need to be sentenced. If innocent, they need to be exonerated.  As it is, most will never live down the allegations no matter how their cases pan out, and some of it just feels like a witch hunt.
Watch this space.

toodle pip

the insult - rupert thomson

Rather like the last book of Rupert Thomson's l read (The Book of Revelation), l thought there was too much gratuitous sex, but maybe l'm just a boring old sod.  I'd have probably loved it when l was younger. As for the story itself, it was top notch, and kept you interested and trying to guess the outcome all the way through.
Martin Blom's tale is told in the first person, and he has woken up in hospital after being shot, to be informed that he has lost his sight, which is irreversible.  His specialist (Dr Visser) explains that Blom may have hallucinations and think he has regained some sight, and most of the book concerns itself with Blom believing he can see when it's dark, but pretending he can't.
After distancing himself from his family and his old life, he moves away, whereupon he meets a girl and makes some new friends.  He then becomes a suspect in the disappearance (and possible murder) of the girl, and starts believing his vision is being controlled by radio transmissions, and he is an experimental case of Vissers.
The last part of the book has a different narrative, about families, rapes and murders, but it all links together at the end.
Is any or all of it true?  I won't give the game away, but it's well worth checking out, even if you are a bitter twisted git like me who wouldn't buy it full price (see my review of the Revelation book).  It will probably be found in your local charity shops (where l found my copy), so start searching.

toodle pip

some colourised famous people

Albert Einstein

Charles Darwin

Charlie Chaplin (aged 27)

Grace Kelly

HG Wells

Mark Twain

Walt Whitman

Elizabeth Taylor

Further to the Hole in the Wall gang picture (last post), here's some more colourised photographs from Mads Madsen.  He's got loads more on his site, including plenty of American Civil War ones.  Well worth a visit.

toodle pip

the hole in the wall gang and alias smith and jones

Here's some people that are well known from TV and the movies.  The Hole in the Wall gang, in a colourised photograph from Mads Madsen, originally taken in Fort Worth, Texas in 1900.
The outlaws are (from left to right) Harry Alonzo Longabaugh (The Sundance Kid),William Carver (News),  Ben Kilpatrick (The Tall Texan), Harvey Logan (Kid Curry) and Robert Leroy Parker (Butch Cassidy).
They look like men you would not want to get an argument with, but look nothing like how they where generally portrayed in popular movies and on TV, and, unlike what it says at the beginning of 'Alias Smith and Jones', Kid Curry was a hard hearted killer.

Here's Butch and Sundance from the movie (Robert Redford and Paul Newman)

Plus Ben Murphy playing Kid Curry, on the right (with Pete Duel) in Alias Smith and Jones (a TV classic).

Ben Murphy was cast because he resembled Paul Newman, and the studio was trying to cash in on the success of the 'Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid'  film.  I loved the show (and film), but sadly, Pete Duel suffered from depression and killed himself on New Years Eve 1971. The studio (ABC) were a bunch of unsentimental money grabbing bastards and made everyone continue or be sued, and filming re-commenced the same day of his death, with the man who originally did the voiceover, (Roger Davis) taking Pete Duel's role, but it was never as good.

They (the studio) must have got confused and thought it was still the days of The Wild West, and were just concerned about making money, with no thoughts of correct moral behaviour. 

The original Kid Curry would have been proud of them.

toodle pip

the death of gareth williams

This one is going to run and run for the conspiracy theorists.  A codebreaker from MI6, Gareth Williams, did not turn up for work and was not reported missing for a week.  When his naked body was found at his London flat in August 2010, it was so decomposed that the cause of death could not be established.
Did l mention the naked body?  Oh yes! But there's more!!
The naked body was inside a red sports holdall, but not only that, it was padlocked from the outside, and was in his bath.  None of Mr Williams' fingerprints or DNA were found on the lock, but despite being judged as an unlawful killing by coroner Fiona Willcox in May 2012, it has now been classed as an accident after a three year evidence review by the Metrepolitan  Police.
There are still some unanswered questions about how he was found by his landlady on one occasion in his boxer shorts, tied to his bed and unable to free himself, and why he had expensive womens clothes in his flat when he apparently did not have a girlfriend (but he could have had one in the past).
Male or female Prostitutes?  Kinky sex games?  Amateur escape artist?  Killed by spy type badies?
Who really knows, but speaking as a fan of magic tricks and escapology, that's one hell of an accident. There's a video on the Daily Mail site showing how to lock yourself into a bag similar to the one used, but l'd have thought the lock be covered in fingerprints and DNA afterwards.
My original post after the first verdict is here.

toodle pip

zlatan ibrahimovic - I am zlatan (with david lagercrantz)

This is more like the kind of football autobiography l like.  'I am Zlatan' tells Zlatan Ibrahimovic's tale in his own words, and he certainly doesn't hold back with them, slagging off respected characters like Pep Guardiola, and admitting to his own wrong doings and temper tantrums.
His Bosnian Muslim father and Croation Catholic mother split up when he was young, and he was born and raised in Sweden.  He moved in with his father (who drank a lot), and who showed no interest in Zlatan's football progress.  Zlatan got into a lot of trouble when he was younger, as (as he keeps reminding the reader) he is from the rough council streets, and that is the way he rolls, doing his own thing, and sticking up for himself, because no one else who would do it for you.  There's petty thieving and fighting, and of course, the football, which probably saved him from prison (at least so far).
He relentlessly practises his football heroes tricks from videos, and mainly plays for himself when younger, but is spotted and signed up for Malmo, his local team. There follows transfers, record fees, and fallings out with players and managers, taking in Ajax, Juvetus, Milan, Inter and Barcelona along the way.  He plays for (and falls out with) the Swedish team, but ends up getting himself an aggressive agent, plus a partner, nice house, children and dog. His father and family even start to follow him and take pride in his achievements.
Zlatan also reveals his vulnerable side when his first child is born (and then falls ill), and despite his love for fast cars, seems to have settled more, although his temper and determination to be a winner are never far away.
For me, the book was slightly too long and sometimes a bit repetitive, but more football autobiographies should be like it.
I've already stated (when the matter has been discussed in the pub), that l would rather Zlatan went to next years World Cup in Brazil, and did well with Sweden, rather than Portugal going with Cristiano Ronaldo (the teams play each other on the 15th and 19th November 2013 in a qualifier decider).  He may not be as good as Ronaldo in some aspects of his game, but you never know what to expect with Zlatan, and he can produce something completely unexpected that makes you swear and laugh at the same time.  What a player.




toodle pip

the pill that gets you drunk (and it's antidote) - prof david nutt

Unless this is some elaborate joke, it sounds pretty amazing.  Professor David Nutt (above) has been working on pills that will re-create the effects that alcohol has,  but the most incedible part of the story, is that once you have the antidote, you sober up and can drive, or carry out whatever task you want.
There's going to be a lot of money made out of this (unless the brewers get to him first).
I'd be watching my back if l was him.
More on the story at The Telegraph.

toodle pip

dazzle ships

Dazzle ships.  It's not just an album (as us senile old folks call them), but also a way of painting ships so that they are off-putting to the enemy.  Nowadays, tracking equipment and missiles are more advanced, but back in the olden days, a submarine would have to work out where the ship was heading to and how fast, so they could work out where to aim the submarine missiles.  Hence the crazy designs, which distorted the ships speed and direction.
I'd have thought it would be better with some kind of tilted mirror design, but what do l know?  I can argue the case for what constitutes a boat, and what is a ship for ages, with no satisfactory answer at the end of the argument (or one that satisfies me), so don't get me started on ship design and camouflage.
As for the OMD album, l'm not that keen on it.

toodle pip

alex ferguson - my autobiography (paul hayward)

Rather sadly, after all the fuss in the newspapers about Alex Ferguson settling old scores in his autobiography (ghost written by Paul Hayward), it turned out to be quite tame, as most of the stories were well known and he had expressed his opinions about them in the past.
Obviously the newspapers exaggerated tales of falling out with David Beckham due to Beckham's immersion into the celebrity lifestyle, which Ferguson thought distracted him from from making football his priority, but he also has a lot of praise for him and how he has turned out, as well as the other members of the Manchester United youth team that grew up together at the club (Paul Scholes, Nicky Butt, The Nevilles, Ryan Giggs etc), considering them to be like his own children in some ways.  He received a 1941 Rolex watch as a leaving present from the players, set at his time of birth, and the 'Fergie time' watch pointing on the touchline was to put off opponents, reminding them it's near the end of the game, and United usually score.
Mostly the book is about control and respect, and how the manager always has to be more important than any member of the team, and if players step too far out of line, they have to go, no matter how big a star they are at the club. It's not even a real in depth autobiography, as it mainly deals with the last few years at United, rather than revisiting old stories and books.
The fallings out with Roy Keane and Jaap Stam were only slightly elaborated on from past statements, and Ferguson glosses over the Rock of Gibraltar fiasco, as there is apparently a court agreement that the terms of the settlement cannot be discussed.  He is not keen on Dennis Wise (who is?), does not think that Steven Gerrard is a 'top, top player' (but praises him) and has little time for Rafael Benitez (but praises Liverpool football club).  And that's about it.
I'm always amazed at how Ferguson finds the time to have outside interests, but apart from the horse racing and love of fine wine, the main discovery from this book was that he collects J.F Kennedy memorabilia, and reads a lot about that, plus the American Civil War and World Dictators.  Plus he speaks French.
Lord knows when the piano playing is squeezed in.
It's interesting if you are a  Manchester United fan, but no-where near as scandalous as it has been portrayed. I much preferred 'A Will To Win' his diary from the mid 1990's, and 'Managing My Life', which was his earlier autobiography, out after the glorious treble win in 1999.

toodle pip

kid rock - all summer long

This (Kid Rock - All Summer Long) came on the radio as l was driving back from Middlesbrough yesterday afternoon, and l remembered how much l love it.  Cue the cranking up of volume, plus the singing and clapping along, (and shaking the police off on the bends).  Difficult to do, but well worth the effort.

toodle pip

the beatles girlfriends at rishikesh and their break up

Here's The Beatles when they went with their wives and girlfriends to Rishikesh, India in 1968 to visit the Maharishi Mahaesh Yogi at his ashram.
At the time, they were world famous, and had the pick of the ladies, yet somehow, all managed to end up with slim, long haired, similar looking ones. What on earth would the odds have been for that happening?
Then (I assume) they got to the stage where they valued personality and character more, and the parameters were shifted. Hence Yoko Ono and John Lennon.
Would The Beatles have stayed together if Yoko had not come on the scene? Who knows, but my ill educated guess is probably not.  She gets a lot of the blame for the split, but they were growing apart anyway.  It's a shame they didn't just do their solo projects and meet up now and again to create more music, but l prefer they got out at the top, and didn't soil their legacy.  I look upon 'Free as a Bird' as something else, a later project but not part of their original oeuvre (as someone more pretentious than me might say). I like it, but also discount it.
Anyway, l still prefer The Rolling Stones.



toodle pip

willie morgan on the wing

Listening to an interview with Willie Morgan (ex of Manchester United), on the 'United we Stand' podcast recently, promoting his autobiography 'Willie Morgan On The Wing', reminded me of the Sun Soccercard (above) from when Morgan played for Bolton Wanderers. Artist licence is obviously permitted, but the soccercard takes the piss.  Morgan had aged slightly, but he was nothing like what the card portrays.  If l had been him, l'd have been mightily pissed off and demanded recompense.
There was a time when he was probably Manchester United's best player, and he was one of my (many) childhood heroes, but l'd loved to have been in the vicinity when him and Tommy Docherty were at each others throats (they have famously fallen out - big time).

toodle pip

shane black - adventure is calling time lapse video

This time lapse video by Shane Black (Adventure is Calling) was shot using over 10,000 photographs he took during a couple of months travelling the USA, and it is stunning.
He (and a couple of friends) quit their jobs to go travelling and take photographs, and it has certainly produced some great images.  It sounds ideal, but l would be a bit dubious about spiders (especially the large sort) crawling into my tent in some of the remote locations and biting my bum (amongst other things).
More information is available at the National Geographic website.

toodle pip

jimmy somerville joining in with a busker

A busker is happily playing away, doing a not very good version of 'Smalltown Boy' by Bronski Beat, when Jimmy Somerville, (the singer from Bronski Beat) strolls up and joins in.  What a top man.
It makes me want to dig out and play my old vinyl copy of Bronski Beat's rather excellent 'Age Of Consent' lp.
If only l wasn't so lazy..

toodle pip

books about parrots

Once upon a time l used to be a voracious reader of philosophical novels and existential classics.  Now l am reduced to reading self published books about parrots.
I think it's time for my euthanasia pill.

toodle pip

lou reed has died

Damn! I've just heard that Lou Reed has died.  One of my heroes, and someone who mythologised the seedy and decadent rock and roll existence better than anyone, especially in his Velvet Underground days. The man who inspired me to go to Lexington 125 to buy drugs when New York was still dangerous.
He was also a writer of tender love songs, a true poet, and a famously curmudgeonly character.
I for one (but amongst many others), will miss him.

toodle pip

he kills coppers - jake arnott (plus some charlie brown)

'He Kills Coppers' was recommended to me, as l was unaware of  Jake Arnott's oeuvre (so to speak), but l must admit, it was a rollicking tale, and a change from my normal reading.
Three policemen are shot and killed (you could have guessed that bit) while the World Cup is being staged in London, 1966, and there's also a crackdown on vice around Soho, but corruption in the police force. Tony Meehan, (a would be newspaper reporter) is on the case and like Frank Turner,  the police protagonist, is very ambitious (but with a secret vice of his own).   The main killer of the policemen, Billy Porter, manages to escape justice, and the action leaps to 1971 and 1985, taking in football hooliganism, politics, changes in policing tactics, miners strikes, Margaret Thatcher (milk snatcher), CND, Class War, and much more inbetween.
All the more convincing for being a believable story that doesn't go over the top, probably because real events and people are used and referenced (The Krays and Richardsons, Lord Longford etc).  The cop killer himself that went on the run is based on the true story of Harry Roberts, who is still in prison for killing some policemen in Shepherds Bush, 1966, and who also went on the run, evading capture by hiding in Epping Forest. He used to be used by anti police groups as something to taunt the 'rozzers' with ("Harry Roberts is our friend - he kills coppers etc").
This was adapted for TV (as was Arnott's 'The Long Firm') so l may check it out to compare and contrast, although adaptations of books l have read usually let me down, as they are never as good as my own imagination and perception of them.  This goes back for me as far as the Charlie Brown and Peanuts movies, which annoyed me intensely because the accents seemed so wrong after devouring the books and hearing my own voices (l still do!).

toodle pip

george best - stylo matchmakers and blue suede adidas sambas

Much as l loved the great and good George Best, l got well and truly suckered into buying a pair of his endorsed  football boots (above) with my hard earned paper round money when l was a kid.
They were crap.
That didn't stop me buying a pair of the Ben Sherman George Best trainers that were modelled on them a few years ago (now stored away in  the original box).
As for my blue suede Adidas Sambas also purchased from paper round earnings....................
Magnificent.  I can still remember the smell of them when l took them out of their box.

A classic of the trainer world, despite their overuse during the Brit pop years.

I think it's time for a lie down.  l feel a bit giddy with the trainer fumes flashback and thoughts of Bestie.

toodle pip

the mad system at the post office

Sometimes, the system really needs to be changed, and it's a good job l am easy going.
I wasn't at home the other day when the postman tried to deliver a book l had ordered, so he put a card through my letterbox like the one above, to say l could pick up the parcel from the local sorting office in Richmond, or phone for it to be redelivered when l am in.  As l was going to Richmond today, l foolishly called in at the sorting office to pick the parcel up in person.
Due to past experiences there with insufficient ID, l bought along my passport, driving licence and a document showing that l lived at the address the parcel was to be delivered to.  However, because l had lost my 'Sorry you were out card', they would not give me the parcel, even though they went and got it.  They did not doubt l was the person it was for, or that l lived at the address on it, plus it was right in front of me while the matter was being discussed.
Apparently, due to their system with the 'Sorry' cards, it would have to be sent out again, and if l was not in, they would put another card through my letterbox for me to pick up the parcel.  I tried in vain to explain that this was all madness, creating extra work for them and an inconvenient wait for me, but to no avail. Therefore, the parcel directly in front of me had to be put back and earmarked for delivery the next day, no matter what proof of ID l had, as that would mess up the precious system.  It's a good job l wasn't  doing something like going away on holiday the next day, as it would probably have ended up being returned to the sender.
Cynical old me thinks that maybe this is all part of a systematic plot to undermine the post office and make the organisation look pathetically inept and mismanaged, so l won't be upset at it being sold off,  with the belief that things can only get better with new owners.
It is pathetically inept and mismanaged, but then again, just because l am a cynical old cove, doesn't mean l am wrong about their plot.
Bastards

toodle pip

EDIT   The parcel got delivered and l didn't even have to sign for it.  So what happens now if l find the original 'Sorry' card? Especially if l take it to the sorting office and say the parcel hasn't arrived?
I've a good mind to do this next time l get one (pretend l've lost it and then take it up once l've got the parcel).  That will fuck up their precious system.

Once again, toodle pip

university voyeur gets let off

Daniel Steven John, a postgraduate student at Durham University working on Dark Matter, has just been cleared of voyeurism, despite being caught in the act, and admitting he was doing so.
The defence was that he was not seeking a sexual thrill, and because John had been suffering from depression and contemplating suicide, he had been carrying out reckless acts for an adrenaline rush, hence the peeking under and over the toilets and showers of female students. He also said in his defence that he had stolen from colleagues, but then returned the items before they had noticed that they were missing.
Now depression can be a terrible ailment, but going by the newspaper report in The Northern Echo on 17th October, this all stinks to high heaven as far as l am concerned.
Firstly it seems as though there is no proof that he took any of his colleagues possessions, or that he contemplated suicide, as stated in his defence.  OK, he may well have been depressed, but does that excuse the voyeuristic behaviour, as, whether it was for a sexual thrill or an adrenaline kick, the victims still had to suffer, and who knows how many more unsuspecting victims there were? Does that mean that if l am caught drink driving tomorrow, l can blame it on depression and say it was for the thrill of the chase?  Shoplifting? Would l get away with that if l was trying to get a buzz out of outwitting the store detectives?  The list could go on and on, and l could bring up (or invent) all sorts of past misdemeanants that l had done and got away with, trying to obtain some kind of rush or meaning to life because l was depressed and had contemplated suicide (which sane person hasn't?).
There was apparently no fine, community order, suspended sentence, or an undertaking that he must receive treatment (which l bet he started after he got caught).
Methinks if he was not a (probably posh) post graduate student at Durham, and not had a consultant psychologist and a no doubt top lawyer defending him, it would be a completely different matter.
If 'crazy' Bazzer, Mazzer, Gazzer or Dazzer from down our way had done this, relying on their legal aid team (for however long that lasts) the outcome would have been completely different.
Pah!!  Once again, 'If that is justice, l'm a banana'

toodle pip

a woodcut of the moon

A rather splendid woodcut of The Moon, available to buy from tugboat printshop.  A snip at $550.
Rather sadly, l seem to have mislaid my bank card.

toodle pip

benefit fraud

This relates to the year 2011/12.  More benefit remains unclaimed, and don't get me started on the tax avoidance of the rich.

toodle pip