turkey here we come!

Heading off to the villa in Turkey tonight/early hours of tomorrow and can't wait for it. Be great to get away from this shitty English weather, rain, rain and more fucking rain. Hope it pisses down while w are away and then brightens up when we get back.
I am off work until the 17th of September so it is going to be a good break from that. Then I am off to Bulgaria on the 21st so September is certainly something to look foreward to.
Should be pretty hot in Turkey, going to do lots of reading and listening to music, plus l won't miss any Manchester United games as England are playing and l am not bothered that much about them.
Thinking about football, it was a great win yesterday against the Arse. They were actually the better team, although United had a couple of decent chances they should have scored from. It's always great when the game is decided by own goals, penalties not given, and disallowed offside goals in the last few seconds. That really winds up the opposition, which makes it all that much sweeter. Marvellous stuff. Spurs away next, that should be a good one. Till then...HOLIDAY TIME!!
toodle pip

bob dylan

Is this some kind of sick fucking joke? A Bob Dylan Christmas album? Apparently it will be released this Christmas and l am dreading it. There is no way l can imagine that it will be good.
I love Bob Dylan and he has done some great stuff in the past, some of the best songs of all time in fact. His voice has now gone as far as singing goes (some would say he never had a voice to begin with), but he still produces the odd decent record.
I can get my head around the fact he may be voicing a sat nav system as that would be a bit of a laugh and would work well for Dylan fans (although l do think that is a joke carried on from his radio series). But (and l repeat) A fucking Christmas album!!! He really is having a laugh.
toodle pip

superhero

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man		80%
Batman		60%
Superman		50%
Wonder Woman		35%
Robin		30%
Supergirl		25%
The Flash		20%
Green Lantern		10%
Hulk		0%
Catwoman		0%
Iron Man		0%

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.



Go here to take the superhero quiz

http://www.thesuperheroquiz.com/

where the money goes

Pretty amazing

example of where the USA has been spending it's money. Wish they would send some my way.

working out

Soon be time to set off to Turkey - at the weekend no less. As we have all rented a villa with a swimming pool, an extra special effort has been put in to look good around it. It hasn't worked out quite as planned and l think we will look the same as usual (see above photos). What has happened to our youth forchristsake??

l guess we will just have to drink more (if that's possible) to convince ourselves we are still cool. So it's not all bad news then.

toodle pip

The X Factor 2009 - Danyl - Auditions 1 (itv.com/xfactor)

This reminds me of when l was singing in Lilac Mist at the Risedale Christmas concerts

Kseniya Simonova - Sand Animation (Україна має талант / Ukraine's Got Talent)

This is fantastic - pisses all over our UK's got talent shows

Soccer AM: Player Profile - Jimmy Bullard - 15/08/09

Jimmy sure is a character

York

Now back from York. I had a good time there, even though it was with work. Stayed at the York Royal hotel next to the train station, which was pretty large, to say the least (it's lit up in the photos). It is pretty close to the centre of York so York wasn't far to walk into, and the weather stayed sunny all the time l was there.

I don't usually bother seeing many sights when I go to York as it is usually for a concert or a day out on the lash. Made an effort this time and had a good look round. Went to some really old pubs, saw lots of buskers, ate traditional ale and steak pie (with mashed pots, no vegetables of course) and had plenty of ice cream and snacks.

There goes the diet (again).

Also went to see The Railway children at York Railway Museum. Very clever the way it was done, the audience on either side of a railway platform, with the action taking place alongside the railway lines. Scenery was moved up and down the line, and a real steam train was also used, which was pretty impressive.

The only thing with plays though, is l always think they go on too long. I would rather they were shorter. By the time the interval came, I was ready to leave. Let's face it, I knew what was going to happen, the steam train had already been used, and the girl had already waved her red bloomers at the train to stop it. Still worth seeing though.

toodle pip

Bonnie Scotland

Drove up to a place called Paxton at the weekend for Sue and Bills blessing. Got there early so we managed to hit the pub (The Cross Inn at Paxton, meant to do really good food) beforehand and have a couple of wee drams (or rather, large double drams). Quick change in the pub car park then off to the ceremony.
A good time was had by all, there was an emotional speech given by Sue and Bill which nearly had me wiping a tear away, but l managed to keep it all together (English pride etc, don't want to let the side down in front of the Jocks). Mind you, Ken's introduction nearly reduced me to tears (only joking, he kept it short).

Plenty of food and drink after (All free!! Hurrah!!), then we drove back (well, Mandy did, although l did offer). Back to Catterick about 2am, which wasn't bad at all. it was good to go to the do but still wake up in my own bed in the morning. Seemed a bit unreal that we had been out for a night out in Scotland the night before, but l suppose it's not that far if the roads are clear.
May post some film or photos when l can get to the computer again.

Not been able to get at the computer till now as Mandy has been doing her degree stuff, working till about 1.30am last night. Has to be in by Thursday so at least it is now nearly over, plus it's the start of holiday time at the end of next week - Turkey here we come!

Also....

Footie is back! Started with a 1-0 win against Birmingham. The points are the most important thing at the start of the season, plenty of time to play decent football once the team has settled after a few games. Looking foreword to Burnley on Wednesday now.
That's it. got to go now as l am off to York for the night, hope the weather stays decent.

Toodle pip

darts of angry fire

PEOPLE across northern England fled in panic last night claiming the 'cloud gods were shooting darts of angry fire across the sky'.

'Thor and Jesus are clearly not happy.' Emergency services from Carlisle to Middlesbrough were stretched to breaking point as thousands of soot-smeared villagers used their 'sorcerer's talking boxes' to phone the fire brigade. But the exhausted crews were unable to keep up with demand as they dashed across the region, directing their hoses upwards in a bid to stop the clouds from bursting into flames. A Home Office spokesman said: "Their natural reaction is to phone 999 as most Northerners believe the sky to be no more than 30ft high."You would think that the firemen would tell them not to worry, but of course northern firemen are still Northerners."

Meanwhile, south of Peterborough, the phenomenon was attributed to the Perseid meteor shower. Cambridge astronomer Tom Logan said: "It is an annual astronomical event caused by debris from the Swift-Tuttle comet disintegrating in the upper reaches of the Earth's atmosphere. But of course to a Northerner, I may as well have said all that in Mandarin Chinese." He added: "They're really just children. Unfortunately they're also huge, drunk children who will fling an old woman onto a bonfire if they think her cat is up to no good."

Stephen Malley, the deputy leader of Northallerton District Council, said: "The gods have tested us tonight, but I am glad to say our brave firemen were up to the task and the sky remains intact." However, it is clear that we have angered our invisible cloud masters and they must now be appeased with an extended period of sacrificial blood letting. I suggest we start with the poofters."

monkey pees in mouth

What a trick

UFO's

No proper work now till next Thursday - Hurrah!!
In the meantime, off to Scotland for a wedding at the weekend, then York next week, maybe catch 'The Railway Children' at York railway museum while l am there.
To get back to work though, when l was there last week, one of the tenants went outside for a fag and spotted something in the sky. Luckily we had the camera charged up so l filmed it. Poor filming, but you do get a good closeup of the UFO. Then l got taken on board and probed.
toodle pip

rod liddle

The article at http://sadiestavern.blogspot.com/'Rod has a great description of Rod Little -

"resembles a Buddha made by a toddler out of flabby cheese"

fantastic - wish I had thought of that

toodle pip

song to the siren

Long afloat on shipless oceans, I did all my best to smile. 'Til your singing eyes and fingers Drew me, loving to your isle. And you sang "Sail to me, Sail to me, Let me enfold you, Here I am, Here I am, Waiting to hold you". Did I dream you dreamed about me? Were you hare when I was fox? Now my foolish boat is leaning, Broken lovelorn on your rocks, For you sing, "Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow: O my heart, O my heart shies from the sorrow". I am puzzled as the newborn child, I am troubled at the tide: Should I stand amid the breakers? Should I lie with Death my bride? Hear me sing, "Swim to me, Swim to me, Let me enfold you: Here I am, Here I am, Waiting to hold you"

toodle pip

Sir Bobby Robson and tossers

I was thinking again about a recent post (and after many arguments with people) regarding Sir Bobby Robson, and people acting as though they knew him and what his character was really like.

I still state that you only know the side of the person that has been presented on television and radio. Obviously the person may wish to present themselves in a certain way, most of them wishing to come across as nice. This does not mean that they are nice, even if they come across like that in programmes that are more immediate (fly on the wall documentaries, live broadcasts and debates etc). They may well be nice, but we cannot be sure and should not make such a judgment, merely that the person seems to be nice.

On the other hand, I do make decisions based on the same amount of evidence, as to whether somebody is an absolute twat. Is this hypocritical of me? Not at all. If somebody is on a programme and is shown to be a complete twat, that means they are a complete twat. maybe not all the time, but if they have done enough to really annoy me (and it doesn't take a lot to get my gander up), then I don't care how nice they may be at other times, they are just twats. An example of such a tosser is an easy one - Jeremy Clarkson What a fucking knob he is, and I don't care how nice he may be to his Mother or how much he gives to charity, I fucking cannot stand the smug, right wing, middle class tosser. I would love it if he was in a really bad car crash and disabled in such a way as to shut the fucker up for good (and no I won't feel at all bad if that really happened). I'll say it again - I can't stand the tosser.

If somebody walks and talks and behaves like a twat, then they are one. I do obviously, discount myself, as I am only a twat now and again, but deep down I am a really nic... Cancel that - I have proven my theory to be correct, for I am without doubt, one of the biggest tossers going.

At least my argument is correct

toodle pip

inheritance

I have been reading about the tailor Doug Hayward. He became pretty successful but he remained proud of his Cockney roots; and every week until her death in 1984 he visited his mother, Winifred (who had worked in a bullet-making factory during the war), presenting her each time with a £1 note to pay for her meals-on-wheels.


When she died the family found this money preserved in 15 ice-cream boxes under her bed, along with a note reading: "This money is to get Doug out of prison when they finally get him." She did not believe that her son could earn so much money as a tailor, and assumed that he must have criminal connections.



I can't believe I did not find any boxes like that when my Mother died, as she must have thought that I would end up in jail (again).

On the other hand, I suppose I never took round money every week. Swings and roundabouts I guess.



Toodle pip

more weather!

The bastards are at it again. In today's Observer, they are forecasting sunny weather for the next few days, with maybe more to follow ( in a piece about Britons travelling abroad to find sunny weather). This is still despite the fact they cannot forecast more than about two days ahead accurately.
To top this, in the weather section at the back where they have the six day forecast, predictions are for cloudy weather pretty much everywhere, no sunny forecasts at all. Bastards! I think they are just putting all these forecasts and statements in to annoy me. And by God it has worked.

Toodle pip

the weather

I know it has been covered recently in the papers that August is not going to be BBQ hot after all, as was forecasted in about June, but come on - where's the bloody sunshine?
I really hate the weather forecasters, they predict a load of crap which they admit themselves they have no idea about, if the prediction is long term. After the first day or so, predictions cannot be trusted (unless it's the Sahara you are talking about)
Why then, are the forecasters so sure the rest of the summer is going to be crap? They till have no idea. Next week could be scorching (although l am not holding my breath). Got to finish the rant now as l am at work at 10am and have to get ready.
Bastards!

toodle pip

John Otway live

Busy weekend - Richmond Live was on so l thought l would be a good lad and take my niece to see John Otway and his big band on Friday evening, as the FPO was too tired. Good time was h by all, then on Saturday, the FPO, myself, Louise and Dazzer went on the lash in Richmond. made our way down to Richmond Live later on in the afternoon for the later acts and Bad Manners, who were much better than l expected. Mind you, we were all pretty minging by then. Indian on the way home, then watched Manchester United against Bayern Munich once everyone had gone to bed. Splendid!

toodle pip

JOE GIDEON AND THE SHARK

Different and yet very good indeed