the news of the world closing

I was amazed when l found out that the paper was to close after this Sundays copy, but l am also a bit pissed off about it. The people at the top are the ones that need to go first, but most of the News Of The World workers would have done bugger all wrong and are just trying to make a living. Andy Coulson (the former editor) has been arrested and bailed, but David Cameron must have known he was dodgy when he employed him as his communications officer. Coulson either knew what was going on at the paper and sanctioned it, or he was incompetent if he did not know. The same goes for Rebekah Wade / Brook. This was also (whether you like it or not) a great British institution, over 160 years old (it started in 1843 as a cheap working class paper), which has been bought, taken down market and then finished off by a rich Australian. Let's face it, Rupert Murdoch (or someone on his behalf working for the News Corporation) will just start another Sunday paper with a lot of the old staff, and then carry on regardless. The way to hit him hardest is not just by boycotting his wares or advertisers pulling out, it's to prevent him having a monopoly on broadcasting. He should be deemed not a 'fit and proper person', but there is no way that is going to happen with everyone toadying up to him and cosying up to each other. Ed Miliband is no better. He should reject the Murdoch get togethers, stop trying to be mates with the powerful newspaper owners, get stuck in with some hard hitting policies, and give the opposition a good kicking while it is down, but that is also not going to happen. Ed Milliband will not win an election for the Labour Party (hows that for a forecast?), whereas l think his brother would have done. Oh for the glory days of Tony Blair sweeping into power first time around...

Now where is my Euro millions win so l can bugger off?

toodle pip

the plainsman (1936)

The film poster

Wild Bill and Buffalo Bill as depicted in the film

This is who played Calamity Jane

The real Buffalo Bill in 1875

The real Wild Bill in 1869

The real Calamity Jane in 1895

Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, this film has everything you want from a western, including Wild Bill Hickok (played by Gary Cooper), Buffalo Bill Cody, Calamity Jane (Jean Arthur), General George Custer, and Abraham Lincoln. It also name checks the 'Go West' newspaper headline, Lincoln's assassination and the Battle of the Little Bighorn. Wild Bill is shot while playing cards, plus there is a love story between Wild Bill and Calamity (and a bromance between the two Bills). It has lots of overacting and an astonishing presentation of the western timeline, as Old Cecil (as l call him) just chucks in all the historical events so that they occur at about the same time. Plus most of the story is unbelievable and never happened. Brilliant and crap at the same time, what more could you ask for?

toodle pip

noel gallagher press conference - july 7 2011

Noel Gallagher is back with two new albums. Here's yesterdays press conference about them.

toodle pip

peter griffin loves surfer bird

I have got to sort out my TV filming and get it straight and steady, as l have obviously just been experimenting with it. On the other hand, here's some more Family Guy, featuring The Trashmen's 'Surfin' Bird'. A classic song and a couple of great lines right at the end of the clip.

toodle pip

jesus grants a wish

Brian's face at the end is excellent (if you don't already know, he fancies Lois)

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helmet talk - bf mcdonald engraved - is it worth it

The B.F McDonald helmet

Flemish armour ca 1575 (inscribed D.G.V Lochorst)

The Roman helmet (with detachable face) 1st - 2nd century AD

I am impressed by this. It is a normal BF McDonald hard hat, engraved? embossed and punched? repoussaged? by a guy called 'Winsa', from back in the day. Very similar work to that which used to be on the old Flemish and French army uniforms. Not as good to own as the Roman helmet sold last year(http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/europe/10/07/england.roman.helmet/index.html?hpt=Sbin ), but still impressive. It has since been sold on Ebay (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190543838359&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT#ht_6406wt_1141) for the outrageous sum of 600 of your old US dollars, but these kind of things can be bought in Far Eastern markets, with individual designs, and they are very cheap (50 to 100 dollars) in comparison. I do still think the artwork is great, no matter what it is worth, and some of the people in the Far East will be very skilled, but as usual, because they are unknown, they are ignored by the art world, unless a profit can be made in the future. I've got a good mind to travel to the Far East and bring a load back to sell, of course (eventually) flooding the market (in both senses).

toodle pip

l could have ruled the world

If only my parents had bought me this when l was younger. I could be an evil tyrant by now. Mind you, the FPO would probably say l turned into one anyway.

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we love the kids so bomb the schools

Where America goes, England follows. So be careful out there.

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling

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pods for the garden

These things look great. I want to state now that l do not work for the firm or have any connection to them, but l could live in one of these things if it included a toilet and hammock. They are a genius idea and full details are here - http://www.archipod.com/en-us/.

toodle pip

cy (edwin parker) twombly has died (April 25, 1928 – July 5, 2011)

The soon to be artist - looking worried about his bum

The great piss taker himself (hopefully)

Phaedrus before and after the 'kiss'

Yin and Yang 1970

Untitled 1951

White poems to the sea 1959

Min Oe 1951

My rabbit - yesterday (not really, it's Arcadia 1958)

Ok, so he died yesterday (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14038987), but l have been at work. Cy Twombly, is probably most famous (to laymen) for his Phaedrus painting being kissed by Cambodian - French artist Rindy Sam in 2007, and the ensuring argument about whether it was a valid artistic statement, or just plain vandalism (story here - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/6910377.stm). As it was just plain white (and expensive) beforehand, l thought the painting looked better with the red smudge, although it certainly did not look like a kiss. I also like to think of myself as a man who appreciates artistic endeavours, and much as l might not wish to have some paintings in my home, l can usually see their attraction. However.... Twomby's later works left me cold, unless of course it was one great piss take from him, to show so called art experts would buy and praise anything, as long as the painting's meaning could be explained, and the artist was famous enough. I could put some coloured crayons up my idiot rabbits arse and get him to run around a canvas for a couple of minutes and reproduce an equal to some of the later works. I really don't want to come across as just picking on the dead, as his earlier (before 1954 ish) works I didn't mind, it's just that l really do wish it turned into some kind of abstract piss take, but l doubt it very much.

toodle pip

owen hargreaves training

According to the BBC news website, Owen has started a You Tube channel to show how fit he is, to encourage clubs to take a chance with him, as he has been injured for so long. Unfortunately, he has always had injury problems, so clubs will be wary of investing or paying too much, even seeing the new fangled training with the strings and ball. He had also better not leave Manchester United and then turn out to be brilliant elsewhere, as l would be sick that we have missed out on his best years, but good luck to him.

toodle pip

the jiaozhou bay bridge

This is the rather impressive Jiaozhou Bay Bridge, the longest bridge over water in the world, at 26.4 miles long, and it only took the Chinese four years to build - very impressive!.

I imagine it might be a bit scary if the weather gets bad or your car starts playing up.

toodle pip

scott pilgrim vs the world

This was a brilliant surprise at the weekend (watched it on Saturday afternoon). I did not know anything about it beforehand, and was a bit unmoved at the very start, but turned out to be really inventive and it had a great deal of effort put into minor details, which always helps make a movie, (but is hardly ever done). It is directed by Edgar Wright and stars Michael Cera as Scott, who has to defeat his new girlfriends ex partners in fights. Sounds a bit boring, but there's a lot more to it than that, and it is a film l will definitely watch again. Hell, l might even lash out and buy the DVD (or even the comic books it is based on, by Bryan Lee O'Malley).

Why can't the Spider-Man films have been like this?

toodle pip

another busy weekend - the mcorville - cross keys and jt's.

The McOrville - venue of thefree meal

Inside The McOrville

The view down to Middlesbrough from The Robinsons abode

The Cross Keys, venue for the cider, pate and toast (with Roseberry Topping in the background)

Mark, the manager and drunken birthday boy - outside JT's

Another splendid time was had at the weekend. First off, it was off to Middlesbrough to meet Robbo and Kerry, for a meal on Saturday night at The McOrville, a new 'Gastro pub' just off the A19 (http://www.themcorville.co.uk/). The FPO had won a meal worth £100 through a competition with Nivea, and as luck would have it, the meal came to £110, but we were let off the extra £10 as her food was rubbish first time round(they changed it). Everyone else's food was fine, and the manager was really friendly, so we let them off (and left a tip).

Stayed overnight in Nunthorpe, then sat in the back garden catching some rays on Sunday morning, before heading off to The Cross Keys, (just up the road) for a lunchtime snack and some ale (http://www.pub-explorer.com/nyorks/pub/crosskeysupsall.htm). Louise and her that shall not be named came and met us all, so we stayed for a while in the outside part, as it was really sunny and no-one was in any great hurry to go anywhere. Very pleasant (and my cider, pate and toast was really tasty).

We then called into JT's (http://officialpubguide.com/pubdetails.php?pubid=4737) on our return to Catterick (the FPO was driving), and discovered it was Mark (the managers) 40th birthday. Sat outside with him and some of the other lads for a while, then back home to fire to the bonfire, to try and get rid of all the bushes and crap that was cut last week. Managed to do it, but it took a mighty long time, and l also managed to fall forward when picking something up and banged my shoulder and forehead. Blithering idiot that l am. I think l may also have concussed myself slightly as l got up during the night and was sick, which l never usually do. Fine now though, although l still have the scratches/marks. Battle scars of the weekend is how l shall be describing them.

toodle pip

the girl can't help it (1956)

This is one of the best Rock and Roll films going. Admittedly, it is not that funny, but it does have the odd moment, such as Tom Ewell playing a drunken Tom Miller, and the start of the film, which l was not expecting when l first saw it many moons ago. What makes it is the performances. It is great seeing Little Richard, Eddie Cochran and Gene Vincent when they were still young, but my favourite part is probably Julie London singing 'Cry me a River', a song l first heard when sharing a prison cell at Durham prison with a guy called Bronco, as he (thankfully) had a radio in the cell when l arrived (and also, thankfully, he never came on to me). It is also an amazing thing to see the wonder that is Jayne Mansfield's bra. It is just very, very silly.

toodle pip

food rotting

Check out the maggots!

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a cymbal hit in slow motion

l never knew they did this - l'm freaked out!

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christian vander (from magma) sings otis

This is pure class, especially when he starts shrieking at about 1.40 minutes in

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on strike

I suppose l should have posted this on Thursday when the striking was going on, but this is me until 4pm on Tuesday, as l am off work again. Hurrah! (although l don't like the look of that spider).

toodle pip

the lovely bones

Watched this with the FPO last night and was mightily disappointed with it. This is the Peter Jackson film of the book (2002) by Alice Sebold. I really liked the first half of the book, but thought it got weaker and weaker as it went on. The film was just rubbish. It looked really arty and there were some great shots and colours, but the storyline was a mess and some of it was unbelievable. I certainly can't believe that a dungeon could have been built in front of the houses, as depicted in the film. How did he dig something that big without anyone from the houses spotting it? Where did he put all the earth? Stanley Tucci recieved a lot of praise for his portrayal of George Harvey, but l didn't like it myself, as it seemed too heavy handed, too odd. Saoirse Ronan (Susan Salmon), was good, but it was all too airy fairy/hippyish for me. What a let down.

toodle pip

andy murray loses the semi final against nadal (again)

Thank the heavens for that. For one millisecond every year, l have a tiny smidgeon of doubt in my own beliefs and foolishly imagine Murray (or in the past, Henman) had a chance. Thankfully (as usual) my fears have been abated and all is well with the gods of lawn tennis. As someone who used to play a lot ( a working class kid who was a natural), l loved playing tennis (and was undefeated), but met nothing apart from obstacles when trying to find somewhere to play. Luckily l was fantastic at football, so l followed that path (and had a lot more respect from my working class mates). I only watch football on TV, but was pleased to see that Murray had gone out today (on the BBC news website). Scottish bastard. By the way, one of my heroes was/is the Lawman (Scottish), but l would respect Murray if he stated he wanted to win Wimbledon for Scotland, and sod the English. He has no backbone or self belief as far as l am concerned. When the football is on, he has stated he wants anyone to win 'apart from the English'. Now l have no problem with that and l respect him as a Scotsman if he feels that way inclined. On the other hand, he will happily take the support of the (middle/upper class tossers) at Wimbledon who are desperate to see an English winner (but would, at the moment, settle for a British one). If he told them all to bugger off and say he was doing it for Scotland and l would respect him and love his attitude, but l can't see that happening until he starts waning and wants to appeal to the Scots as a local hero (although he has been abroad since he was about 15). Wanker.

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