Ted

Used to like this monologue/poem when l was younger

strange place

This link will take you to one of the strangest places l have ever seen (when not on drugs)


http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/09/most-alien-looking-place-on-earth.html


l would certainly like to visit it

Toodle pip

INDIAN REALITY TV GIRL SLAPPED LIVE

"How can she slap me?"

Christian the Lion *Reunion* !

Don't like the soppy music that goes with this, but it made me cry as well. l need counselling (no suprise there).

knee operation

Seen the consultant (Peter Parker) at Northallerton hospital today about my knee, which needs to be operated on as l have torn the ligaments, amongst other things. He is going to operate on it on 8th October. l will be leaving the hospital that afternoon, but the best news is l will be off work for about three weeks. That's right, three weeks of dossing about, reading, watching TV and Dvd's, listening to music and pratting about on the computer. Result!! Obviously l will be too ill and sore to do any decorating or housework, just amusing myself all day long. l think there may be a God after all.

Toodle pip

Ninja Cat

Here's a ninja cat to cheer me up after the last post.

not heard ac/dc

I was listening to a podcast from the Word magazine, when David Hepworth, a man who writes for them and has worked at Smash Hits and on the Whistle Test, admitted he did not know a single AC/DC song. Fair enough if he had not seen a particular, cult or famous film, as they take anything between 1 - 3 hours out of your life (or more). l am not even a big fan of AC/DC, although l do like their early stuff with Bon Scott singing. It is the fact that he is paid to work in music, commentate on and review music, and should have an open mind about different types of music, at least giving bands and songs a listen, and therefore a chance.

Obviously it is not possible to listen to everything, but this is a band who have had huge International success for many years, have had hit singles (when singles still mattered) and top selling albums.

Instead of just owning up to the fact, and sounding as though he is not going to bother listening to them, he should get off his arse and listen to a couple of them, after taking advice as to what is considered their best songs. It's his fucking job to do so, and if he is too old and blase to take in new sounds and experiences, even though the band may not be fashionable enough to him, he should pack in or get the boot.

If l went for a job on a music magazine and admitted l had never bothered listening to Led Zep, Bowie, Iron Maiden, Westlife, even Gareth fucking Gates, l would be drummed out of the office. At least make time and listen to a couple of songs, then say it's shit and you're not interested. Then you can retire to the safety of your Nilsson albums (who he loves). I bet he would not be slow off the mark if a batch of "World" music came in, or maybe he would just be better off reading war books and listening to documentaries on the radio (which he also loves).

I know l am rambling (what a surprise), but the worst thing is l like a lot of what he writes, read his blog and subscribe to the Word. Just angry and feeling let down by someone l thought was reviewing things with more of an open mind. l am still getting over the fact that sometimes cds are sometimes not listened to properly before reviewing them, ie The Black Crowes, again not one of my favorite bands, but to say "you know what their new album sounds like without listening to it", may be true, but this could also apply to numerous bands. If music journalists can't be bothered doing their job properly, they should piss off and let someone else do it. Not everybody is loaded, so if l am foolish enough to spend some of my hard earned on a music magazine or paper, l at least expect a well informed and rounded opinion. Christ, l wish l had paid more attention in school and could write. Bastards!

Toodle pip

Salvia Trip

l want some of this!!

Foghorn Leghorn

Lived my life as a mixture of Foghorn and Baloo

baloo

re-post as it's so good

Monkey gets a blowjob off a frog

swim little baby

Van Halen - Ruining Jump

This is so bad on every level. Listen to the guitar - the vocals - everything! Its so shit it's unbelievable. It used to be a good song ferchristsakes. l would be first in the line asking for my money back.

new york 2008 plus united v chelsea

Just returned from New York with Mandy, Kerry, Robbo, Dazzer and Louise. Great time had by all, lots of drink (without drugs!!), football and sightseeing. Nearly forgot, lots of food as well. Will sort out some photo's and stick some up. l will have to try and find some where we look attractive, that may take some time. Work again on Tuesday, can't wait for it, as l am sure you can guess. It's about time one of my so called mates or family came into a load of money so l can retire. Can't believe it when people say they are bored when not working. Don't get me started on people winning the lottery and then going back to work. Bastards! They should give the money to me, l would enjoy it (and fill my house with even more junk). Dossing around at the moment, not doing anything, chilling out, relaxing, feet up with a Vodka and Orange, waiting for Match of the Day 2.

Watched Manchester United against Chelsea earlier, happy with a point beforehand but we nearly nicked the three, which would have been great, as it would have ended Chelsea's undefeated home record. Never mind - not playing too good at the moment but l am sure it will come good. Gotta have faith in Fergie!
Also got some tickets for the return match at Old Trafford for my birthday, drinks and train fare included!! Something to look foreward to after Christmas (it's on Jan 10th - the game that is, not celebrating Christmas at a different date).

Off to look at crap on t'internet, will probably post other stuff later.

Toodle pip

rock band documentary from scotland

This has got to be a set up - can't believe it's real, although it reminds me of first forming a band!
Click on the link, as l can't work out how to do it directly

http://www.veoh.com/videos/v149037042GCQpnP9

"Your attitude determines your altitude - how high do you want to fly?"

The Three Little Bops

What a cartoon!

HOLIDAYS ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Finished work! Hurrah !! Holidays coming up !! Birthday in a couple of days !! In Manchester tomorrow!! New york on Wednesday!! Life is now sweet.
Off to get some dollars in a few minutes (nothing leaving it till the last moment). Was going to write about seeing the Ian Siegel band in Darlington on Friday night with Powlie and Deb, but can't be bothered (bothered??). Maybe another time. Manchester United against Liverpool on Saturday!! Watching it in New York then off to Harlem!! What a life
Toodle pip

l'm back

Wrote this a couple of days ago at work, but had trouble with my memory stick. Sorted it at last.


Well, it’s happened at last –the blog is back!
Been pretty damn busy recently as l have been trying to download or get every album l have ever wanted before my birthday next week. This has taken many, many lonely and sad hours in front of the computer. More or less cracked it now so it maybe a return to some kind of normal (ish) life.
Also been off work for a week, to use up some holiday leave. You would think l would have done something with my time (apart from turning into super geek), but l didn’t and don’t care. My collection of cd’s and my ipod are bursting with joy.
Went out on Sunday night with Robbo, Kerry, Louise and Dazzer for Robbo’s birthday. Meal out in the Boro, (what a surprise). We went to Joe Riggatonie’s in Linthorpe road, which was really empty. Good thing really as lots of drink was consumed and we (OK, maybe me) would have been loud. Got him an England shirt with J.Cole and number 10 on the back. Wouldn’t want one myself, but Robbo does love Joe Cole. Stopped off at the Wine bar on the way home, then Mandy left me to play pool and prat about, as my sister and other lads were about. Straight to bed more or less when l got in, as l have been staying up late and getting up early for a week or so. Training for New York next week.
Sadly, l am back at work till Monday afternoon, can’t have everything.
Till the next time…Toodle pip

been busy

Been pretty busy with one thing and another so l haven't been keeping up with the blog. Normal service to be resumed in the next day or so.
Toodle pip

Human Jump rope

Amazing

new ipod

What a gay day yesterday was. Out in the Wine Bar with Joseph, then met by Mandy, stayed out for a while with Richie and Ben, then home to the Bunnies, esp Nozzer, the spoilt little bastard. He's not well at the moment, sneezing and not pooing properly (l know, l've checked). Anyhows, got my new ipod through the post, plus a microphone (griffin itouch) for my ipod. The new ipod does not appear to work with the microphone, plus it has some features missing (as far as l can tell at the moment), but the cover flow thingie looks good (plus of course, the memory is much larger). Been playing around with the microphone and it and it does what it says on the tin. Technology is fantastic. Waiting for my new memory stick now, 32gb, which is more memory than most old computers. God knows (just an expression, there is no God) what the future will hold.
Also been listening to Elbow a lot over the last couple of days, forgot how great some of their stuff is, probably a lot better on drugs (then again, what music isn't?). Nice soft songs that build up into a crescendo of noise. Magic.
Also found some clothes that l had forgot about, shorts and a sweatshirt, both good and with tags still attached. All l need now is a bath and hair wash (plus drastic weight loss), so they will look really cool. Maybe l should just go and hide them again. On the other hand. it's bike ride and bath time! Think l will go for that now (the bath).
Toodle pip

legend

happy mondays

Mad for it on Saturday, at Stockton for the Happy Mondays free gig. Drinks and disco biscuits all round.
Went to what we thought was the Green Dragon pub beforehand, but it was a pub just across from it – damn! Still enjoyed ourselves, the girls (and l include Robbo) had a go on the fair rides before the gig. Pretty bleeding mental some of them (the rides l mean, and by rides l don’t mean the girls).
Got down the front for the show and had a bit of a shuffle about (ooer missus), then we buggered off to Teeside park for KFC and burgers. The girls dropped me and Robbo off outside KFC, not realising it had just closed its doors. Asked at the drive by window if there was any food left and was told it served till 12pm from the window. Would not give us anything at the window though, even though there were no cars and we were the only people there. Health and safety issue apparently, we had to be in a car to be served. We then had to hang around for the girls to get back so we could climb into the car and buy food from the same window and person. I blame Gordon Brown.
Back to Robbo and Kerry’s for a drink and chat then bedtime. Didn’t overdo it on the night though, as the disco biscuits were crap, so everyone felt fine the next morning. Good result in a way, crap in another.
I had to go to work Sunday night, and had been out till 2pm on Friday night (with work on Saturday morning) at Richmond Live and J.T’s bar. Glad I felt fine (although a bit tired) but I don’t mind putting in the hours and suffering either. It’s got to be done and it isn’t as easy as it seems. Till the next time..
Toodle pip

cool guy

Brendon Erdhardt, of Northern Territories, Australia was caught by police speeding at 150km/h, while filming himself masturbating at the wheel.

5kg of drugs was in his boot and two cannabis plants were on the back seat.

What a cool guy

Toodle pip

dog sex

A mixed breed and a Labrador, formerly owned by Diane Sue Whalen of Tulsa County, have been accepted by the Best Friends Animal Society in Kanab, Utah, said Barbara Williamson, spokeswoman for the animal sanctuary.
The dogs — named Lucky and Buddy — will be taken to the no-kill sanctuary next month.
Whalen, 54, and Donald Roy Seigfried, 55, were charged with felony crimes against nature after Whalen's adult son found more than 150 tapes of his mother performing sex acts with her dogs and a blue heeler owned by Seigfried. Seigfried was accused of filming the acts.
The dogs were placed in the Tulsa Animal Shelter following the arrests. While Whalen relinquished custody of her dogs, Seigfried is fighting for ownership of the blue heeler, named Merlin.

Fancy finding tapes of your mum with the pet dog - good to see that Seigfried is trying to stick by the blue heeler

Toodle pip

george best and noel gallagher

I was listening to the Russell Brand show today (Saturdays show), with Noel from Oasis as a guest/co-presenter as usual. I have always loved Noels sense of humour and some of the things he comes out with, but today's was a corker. Talking about hellraisers and then George Best on the Wogan show, Russell compared Noel (who was drinking) to George. Noel replied he was happy with that as George was cool. When Russell asked how a Manchester City could say that, Noel said "George didn't play for United, he played for the World". Top man.
Toodle pip

bedale and the wine bar

had a great day on Tuesday. Didn't start out so good as l had to go to a work training thingie at the White Rose hotel in Leeming Bar, which didn't finish till about 1pm. Had the rest of the day to myself then, so l went and had a stroll round Bedale, calling in a couple of pubs (wagon and Horses and Oddfellows Arms). The landlady from the Oddfellows had gone off to pick up her new husband from the Gambia (Gatwick actually, but you get the idea). It will never last, l am sure she phoned him the last time l was in and pretended the call was from him. Also said he had a permit already, which sounds dodgy. Wonder what attracted him to a 49 year old divorced woman with money and a pub - can't think of a reason myself.
back to Catterick afterwards to meet Joseph in the wine bar. had a good crack on and he bought in a book for me, Our George, about George Best by his sister Barbara. Made me cry in the second chapter, but the rest of it wasn't that good. Peter fell out with Richie over a game of pool and stormed out, plus l won £10 off Richie (he was drunk and more idiotic than usual). Nice.
Toodle pip

old joke

Jeremy Clarkson goes up to Kate Moss at a Party and says "Hi I'm Jeremy.I do Top Gear"
Kate Moss replies "Go on then,I'll have 2 'E's and a gram of Coke"

Talking of which, Happy Mondays at the weekend - nice one - keep it sweet

Toodle pip

the weather

After the great weekend we had, it was back to clouds and rain on Monday. According to the Observer on Sunday, the forecast for the next six days was gloomy and we should have rain all week. lt rained on Monday, then it was a sunny day yesterday (Tuesday) and it looks good today (cloudy and sunny). l am getting obsessed with the weekly forecasts in the paper as they are generally wrong. As l have always said, anything over three days is just guesswork. Lying bastards getting paid for doing a crap job. Shoot them.

james bond

The new James Bond film is called Quantum of Solace. Eh? One of Timothy Dalton's 007 outings was changed to Licence to Kill from Licence Revoked, because the producers were worried that some of the potential audience wouldn't understand the word 'revoked'. Not sure how they're going to cope with Quantum of Bloody Solace.
Toodle pip

what a scorcher - bastard tories

Phew! What a scorcher! Sadly though, l had to go to work at 3pm so it’s not all fun and games. Working overnight tonight (Saturday) and then again Sunday. Must be a sucker for punishment. Think l will take it easy next week, until the weekend at least. Just finished The Road to Wigan Pier by George Orwell, bit sentimental about the working classes, but at least he sticks up for them and describes in great detail what a crappy life they had in the 1930’s. Then the Second World War followed (for them, not me) – lucky for me, not so for them (I am confusing myself now). He puts foreward a strong argument for Socialism (Good man). There are lots of so called Labour supporters at the moment complaining about George Brown, saying they are going to vote Tory at the next election. Fucking idiots all of them. If you want a protest vote, vote liberal or Green or anything apart from the Tory bastards who must be laughing their socks off every time they get a working (or lower middle) class vote. I would have more respect if people voted for the BNP and stood their ground, saying all they were concerned about was themselves and Britain, sod the blacks and immigrants. Voting for a party that has no time for the working classes apart from using them as cheap labour and getting them to do all the shitty little jobs they wouldn’t entertain lowering themselves to do. A capitalist system needs cheap labour and unemployment to keep profits high - not that the profits are shared out amongst the majority of workers. The working classes as a whole can be narrow sighted idiots, but at least the excuse is they have not an equal footing when it comes to the chances of a decent education. The Tory party as a whole are very well educated and know what they are doing, i.e. taking the piss. Think I have ranted enough about how I hate them (for the moment). The heat must be getting to me. Oh well, suppose l had better do something (l am at work now). Better not forget to post this tomorrow.
Toodle pip

good ideas

Quote of the day
" A good idea attempted is better than a bad idea perfected"
Don Letts - B.A.D

all my loving

Repeating All My Loving at the moment, a 17 part series from (l think) the 1970's. Its great, a bit studious and middle class but some unique footage and interviews. Some of the stuff you may not be bothered about but it can still end up interesting. Listening to an old git like Irvin Caesar, l was originally thinking "yawn", but it was him that wrote 'just a gigolo' forchristsake. Respect to the man. The series also managed to interview stars while they were still reasonably young or before they died (difficult to do afterwards, l grant you). Top stuff
Toodle pip

Bernie Mac - My sisters Kids

Didnt i tell yo punk ass boi he cant get no milk n cookies?!?!?!?! now im telln yo short ass u cant have none so take yo little punk ass up stairs 4 u get yo ass whooped round here

knee and northallerton

So l have finally discovered what is wrong with my knee. Went through to Northallerton hospital yesterday for the results of my MRI scan, to be told l have ripped my ligaments, both inside and outside of my knee. Have to wait for an appointment with a consultant, then he will arrange an operation to remove the ripped parts (as they won't heal apparently). Should be ok once that has been done, be able to play football again, run etc.
Afterwards l went round Northallerton to all the second hand shops, buying books. Didn't realise there were so many there, must have been about eight of them. Chatted to some old grannies (pretending l am nice), got my prescription for new hayfever tablets sorted, didn't even have to pay as the young trendy lad in Boots must have thought l was a dolie and just waved me away with the tablets. Bought The Master and Margarita in Watersons to celebrate, already read it but fancy another read and god knows where the other book is. Also got a black pudding, as l have been feeling pretty proud of the working classes recently so l thought l would show some solidarity, stopped short at some tripe, although l don't mind it (not really, just fancied some black pudding after reading about them last week).
Wrote some letters when l got back and listened to cds, read, then headed to post the letters and have a quick pint before returning to watch some family guy episodes. Actually had an early night (for me), went to bed at 11pm and didn't rise till 10am. Must have been tired (or getting old).
toodle pip

another great old advert

busy days, but still off work

Been busy having a rare old time during the last few days. Went out on Thursday to the Wine Bar, met Joe Finnigan and others, stayed out chewed the fat (lots to be chewed) and came home at 9.30pm full of double vodkas and lemonade. nearly got into a fight with some soldiers who took the piss outside JT's. l offered to fight the hardest one out of them all and they backed down (thank fuck). It's important to stand your ground l say, even if it does end up with a beating (won't be the first). Whats the saying - "better to live like a lion for a day, than live for a year as a lamb". Probably slightly wrong but it's close enough.

Friday, went to Robbo and Kerry's in the Boro, then out to the Cross keys for a few drinks. ordered an Indian takeaway on our return, loads too much as usual. Discussing the Universe, Infinity, and whats the point of anything? (you had to be there). Good laugh though.

Came back on Saturday and l put in my 8 hours at work in the evening while Mandy entertained her sister (Deb) watching Rambo and Sweeney Todd. Still crap with no football.

Went out for a bike ride on Sunday and then cut the bleeding grass as it's taking over the garden. Looking better now but still needs strimming. Felt like booting the cats as they had been crapping down the bottom of the garden, despite the fact we have left an overgrown bit of garden for them to poo in by the bird table. Little bastards (the cats not the birds, although little is the last word l would use to describe Jack).
Watched The Libertine with Johnny Depp in the evening, also a film called Bridget, based on the Moll Flanders story and subsidised by a French channel. Both pretty good, although l had already seen the Libertine.
Finished reading Andrew Collins - Heaven knows l'm miserable now, and Stuart Maconie - Cider with Roadies. Prefered Cider with Roadies, life listening to prog, northern soul, punk, and then working for the NME. Also read Blind Faith by Ben Elton, preaches a bit (see what l did there) but a lot of his views are the same as mine regarding faith, ie l don't believe in God or Gods of any kind. Back to the books and cds now! Hurrah!
Toodle pip

old advert

mars pictures

Pictures of Mars and the Earth and Moon, what more can you want (Mars' Moon looks spooky)


http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/06/martian_skies.html


Toodle pip

freedom!

Finished work at 2pm yesterday (Tuesday) and l only have 8 hours work to do till 3pm next Tuesday. Result! Reading Ben Elton's Blind Faith, listened to loads of cds, watched The Twenties in Colour, Beau Brummel (which was way off the truth), some Family Guy and am still feeding cd's into my ipod as l type. Went for a bike ride today (which killed me) and l am now ploughing through Andrew Collins' Where Did it All Go Right? Just put on some food for Mandy and me (sweet potatoes, chicken and creme freshe). Sod work, being off is so much better.
Toodle pip