trevor eve as hughie green

Trevor Eve was fantastic in the Hughie Green biographical film on BBC4, which l have just watched on sky+.

Eve looked uncannily like the Opportunity Knocks presenter even though he just used facial mannerisms and a little make up. I never really considered him as a good actor before, having only seen old Shoestring episodes and never having watched Waking the Dead. Credit where it's due though, it was definitely the best performance so far in the curse of comedy plays (even Ken Stott couldn't match it playing Hancock).

Mark Benton (the fat one from the bank ads) plays Green's arch rival, Stars On Sunday host Jess Yates, who Paula Yates thought was her father, until the News of the World reported Hughie Green was, a couple of days after Hughie's funeral. Paula appears on television in the background.

Didn't enjoy Mark Benton's performance, as l couldn't forget the bank ads. Trevor eve more than made up for it though. Buy the man a drink! Toodle pip

another bleeding cancer update

More news on the cancer front. There is a golf ball sized tumor in the back of the brain that is too large to operate on (they think). Going to try radiotherapy and chemotherapy to try and shrink it so they can operate. This involves travelling to James Cook hospital in the Boro. More details from the hospital in a day or so. This makes it sound like my mum might live for a while longer yet but l still don't hold up much hope. They were a bit keen to take details today for contacting the next of kin etc. Mum still feeling dizzy and sick - no way she can come home and look after herself (no, me or my sister/brother are not going to do it). Still loads more hospital visits to go yet.We are thinking the worst (or maybe the best) and seeing how it all progresses. Don't want to end up like that, l would rather kill myself if life got too shit. Luckily United are still winning so it's still hunky dory on the football front! Toodle pip

Floyd Mayweather vs Big Show

No wonder the English take the piss out of American sports. What a load of crap this is. How Mayweather can lower himself to take part in this is unbelievable.

brother visiting

Been a busy old week. My brother came up from Leeds to stay with me for a couple of days, so he could visit our mum with our sister. Good to see him and our mum was also pleased to see him, although he was a bit shocked at how bad she is. With visiting our mum, going to work, and going out with my brother and sister, I don't feel like l have had a moment to myself. Dropped him off at the train station yesterday so it is now all quiet in our house. Still cds everywhere as he has also been copying a load of my cds while he was here (for backup only of course). Can now get to the computer again and move around in the spare bedroom. News of my mum does still not look too good. Find out more info later on today. That's it - off to work again! Toodle pip

view from my room

Here's the view from my bedroom window today - impressive eh!

good night out

Looks like everyone in the club when its a really good night - if you know what l mean

cancer update

Still no further news - more scans to be done etc before the specialist will confirm anything. Went to visit yesterday with my wife, sister and kids. Mother upset about it but probably happy that she can prove now there is something wrong with her. On steroids (my mum, not me), so depending on how long she has left to live, she may be able to kick me in soon. She has said that she does not want any more chemotherapy as she hated it last time. She is upset that she may not have much longer to live, but does not want to suffer the chemo again if it only adds a short amount of time to her life. Can't say l blame her - l wouldn't have it myself in her position.
Working this weekend, so l am not visiting till Monday. l am however, looking foreward to United against Arsenal on Sunday. You may think l am in denial going on about football at this time, but it is just the way l feel. The illness still has not affected me, apart from making time for visits and phone calls. More news as it comes - God, this blog is starting to get depressing. l will have to put some links to comedy or porn to liven it up. Or comedy porn - sounds like my sex life.The wife does always laugh when l get naked (only time l do make her laugh). Till next time toodle pip

cancer

So, what can l say? Turns out my mum is pretty bad after all and has cancer in her brain (l assume secondary mets cancer as she has already had lung cancer). My wife phoned the hospital and spoke to her earlier on in the evening, as l was out and she couldn’t get hold of me. News that was not expected. My sister is pretty upset about it and has been crying half the night. We are all off to the hospital tomorrow to see her and find out how bad it is. Steroids have already been given but we are all unsure what other treatment may be available, as we do not know how advanced the cancer is. My own guess would be a couple of months, seeing how bad she has been recently. Then again, she may not be too advanced and last a year – certainly don’t think that will be the case though.

Not sure how l feel about all this. Other people are all a lot more upset than me, even my wife. Obviously l feel sorry for the condition my mum is in and how scared she must be, but l am defiantly lacking something. l know people may say l am in shock and maybe l will be a lot more upset later on, or even tomorrow, but l doubt it. It upsets me more seeing people close to me upset. Hell, l even cry if l see strangers crying or upset on the TV. Think l have too much bottled up inside (serial killer alert!!).

l remember when my dad died. My immediate family and my step family were all crying and hugging, but l felt nothing like that. l was pissed off that they had those feelings and l didn’t. l even turned up late for the funeral and did not put a flower on his coffin. Don’t misunderstand me, before he died, l used to go and see him in the pub, but he was just like some fellow l knew in there. Not a father figure. l have a horrible feeling that history is going to repeat itself.

Anyway – find out more tomorrow

Toodle pip

PS Still pleased United beat Roma – football has always been there for me

ambulance blues

My mother has been ill for a couple of weeks, has had various visits from Doctors, and last night they decided to admit her to hospital. The decision was made at 6.05pm and an ambulance was called, coming from Northallerton Friary hospital to Catterick. Which is about 14 miles. Guess how long they took? Four hours. Unbelievable. They also got lost and went to a completely different address using their sat nav. Had to phone a couple of times and were told different answers on both occasions. Good job she was not at deaths door.

At least Manchester United beat Roma at the same time all this was going on. Barcelona in the semi finals should be good. Squeaky bum time again ( yes my mum had that as well ). Toodle pip

uncyclopedia

Check out this site -

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

Who needs wikipedia?

fun at the weekend

Another messy time at the weekend. Went out about 1pm on Saturday for a drink at our local pubs, The Wine Bar and The Colburn Lodge, and to put a bet on the Grand National. Ended up staying out and going to J.T's bar, where some mates of ours were playing that night ( in a band called Jismn ). Had just about had enough and were ready to go when other mates turned up, so of course we ended up getting very drunk and staying out till midnight. Pizza takeaway then home. One of those nights were people turn up that you haven't seen for a while, so it's good to have a crack on with them. Therefore, hats off to Powlie and Deb, Chorley girl and Ann, Jim and his wife, Whit, Lonnie, Steve, Jacket and Mrs Jacket, Bazzer, Dazzer, Mazzer etc who all made it in the line of duty.

Up early the next day to go to Boro to watch the Manchester United vs Boro game with Robbo. Chucked it down with thick snow and the 2-2 draw was not so good but we had a laugh. Had some food with Robbo and Kerry then back to Catterick ( via dropping off a present for Dazzer in Stockton ). Last night of the owners of the Colburn Lodge, Sue and Martin, so stopped off there and continued with the merriment. Nicked myself a framed picture of George Best from the pub that l had my eye on for a while. Took it up to White Shops to show it off and continue drinking, then walked back home for midnight. lt's a hard life. Toodle pip

Johann Pachelbel - Canon in D

so many bands have nicked this

Impossible guitar

this guy is slightly better than me

Pachelbel's Canon goes rock

nearly as good as me

the english language

Ever think about the word "malodorous"? Words beginning with the Latin prefix mal- usually imply opposites, like "malpractice" and "malfunction" and "malnourished", but both "odorous" and "malodorous" mean the same thing. Pathetic (yes l know they do not mean pathetic). English can be so complicated. Toodle pip

who needs water ?

Dr Stanley Goldfarb, a kidney specialist at the University of Pennsylvania, has just written a review in the Journal of the American Society of Nephrology, stating that drinking lots of water does you no good. He states that their research has shown drinking excess water does not improve skin tone, nor "flush out" toxins in the system. Drinking too much water can hinder kidney function. He does not think that drinking a small amount of extra water helps headaches or obesity. Either research proved there was no benefit, or no good research had been done on certain topics, it was a topic that had been passed on as safe, but there was no real data to support the argument.

l say drink more lager and wine, avoid salad if possible ( especially celery ), put mayonnaise on nearly everything and do illegal drugs ( in moderation ). Water and salad is bad for you. Then again, you should see the state of me. Toodle pip

cruyff turn

short, sweet, and perfect

Hancock and Joan - The Curse of Steptoe and Son

Ploughed through the sky+ yesterday, watching the plays on the BBC about Steptoe and Son and Tony Hancock and Joan Le Mesurier. They are both originally linked by the outrageously fantastic writing of Galton and Simpson, a genius partnership. They were both represented in the dramas and some of the acting was excellent. Ken Stott did a fine job of Hancock, not a straight copy but his own representation of him. Maxine Peake was also very good as Joan Le Mesurier, who Hancock had an affair with before committing suicide in 1968. Alex Jennings, who played John Le Mesurier was crap though, way too straight and reserved. lt was more like a poor Prince Charles impression. The Curse of Steptoe and Son was better, although l love Tony Hancock ( especially the radio shows ), l preferred the acting in the Steptoe one ( Jason lsaacs as Harry H Corbett, Phil Davis as Wilfrid Brambell). Check them out if you get the chance, or better still, watch the original Steptoes or listen to the Hancock radio shows. Toodle Pip

The death of Ivan Ilyich

Just finished the Death of lvan llyich by Leo Tolstoy - excellent book and highly recomended. Some people do not like Russian novels as the long names put them off, the same sort of people who don't like films with subtitles as they don't like reading and watching a film at the same time. lt's a great loss as there is so much good stuff out there ( Crime and Punishment, Das Boot, Bullet in the Head etc ). Anyway -check out the book for yourself, there's bound to be cheap copies on ebay. Here's a summery from Wikipedia

Ivan Ilych Golovin, a high court judge in St. Petersburg with a wife and family, lives a carefree life that is "most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible." One day, he begins to suffer from a pain in his side. As Ilyich's discomfort increases, his behavior towards his family becomes more irritable. His wife finally insists that he visit a physician. The physician cannot pinpoint the source of his malady, and soon it becomes clear that his condition is terminal. He is brought face to face with his mortality, and realizes that although he knows of it, he does not truly grasp it.
During the long and painful process of death, Ivan dwells on the idea that he does not deserve his suffering because he has lived rightly. If he had not lived a good life, there could be reason for his pain; but he has, so pain and death must be arbitrary and senseless. As he begins to hate his family for avoiding the subject of his death, for pretending he is only sick and not dying, he finds his only comfort in his peasant boy servant Gerasim--the only person in Ivan’s life who does not fear death, and also the only one who shows compassion for Ivan. Ivan begins to question whether he has, in fact, lived rightly.
In the final days of Ivan’s life, he makes a clear split between artificial life, the life of himself and his family that masks the true meaning of life and makes one fear death, and authentic life, the life of Gerasim. Authentic life is marked by compassion and empathy, artificial by self-interest. Then “some force” strikes Ivan in the chest and side, and he is brought into the presence of a bright light. His hand falls onto his nearby son’s head, and he pities him. He no longer hates his son or wife, but rather feels sorry for them, because he has found at last a joy in authentic life and they will continue their artificial lives, fearing death. In the middle of a sigh, Ivan dies.

Midnight Express truth revealed by Alinur Part-1

Just watched the film Midnight Express again - great film, but it shows all the Turks to be gits, which they are not, they are some of the nicest people l have ever met. The film says it is based on a true story but the book is completely different. Here's an interesting interview with William (Billy) Hayes, the person the film was based on.

Midnight Express truth revealed by alinur. Part 2

united edge closer

Great win for Manchester United yesterday ( against Villa ). 4 - 0 and it could have been a lot more. Arsenal had a great comeback but l still think Chelsea are the team to be worried about. Let's hope the Boro get a result today. l don't expect them to but a draw would be nice. l will be up at the Boro on Sunday for the game against United. Hope we get a better day than last year. Good result but me and Robbo got thrown out for trouble making in the Boro end after only 15 minutes - and it was the Boro fans who started on us after Robbo foolishly told one of them l am a United fan. The stewards bottled it and were wankers, but never mind, United won. Roma on Tuesday as well. Football at this time of the year is better than normal as every match is so important. What a great game! Toodle pip

the morning after the night before

Don't we all look happy! At the Coronation in Boro

new york

l love going to New York. Yes l know it's a cliche and everyone loves it but it's true. Even without the twin towers it still looks great. Took this photo on the Staten lsland ferry. Can't wait to go back ( September this year ).

Old Greg

the mighty boosh at their finest

New York Dolls - Jet Boy (Old Grey Whistle Test, 11-73)

Another classic!

NEIL INNES - PROTEST SONG - Rutland Weekend Television

Classic stuff - and l am a big Dylan fan. Remember seeing this when l was a kid.

you tube vids

As you can see below - l have sussed out how to post videos from you tube properly. Look out for loads more ( stops me having to post so much ). Toodle pip

Status Quo- Caroline - Disco 1973=

ONE OF THE GREATEST SONGS OF ALL TIME! WHEN THEY USED TO STILL BE A ROCK BAND

mgmt

Top song and video - check it out

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XVnRzEjpUmE

This is our decision to live fast and die young - we've got the vision - now let's have some fun.

arctic monkeys / shadow puppets

Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys) & Miles Kane (The Rascals) are The Last Shadow Puppets.

This song is great - undertones of scott walker doing jaques brel. Love the arctic monkeys but this is completely different. looking foreward to the album.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XGV8xCkpXjE

words as weapons

Why does everyone ( organisations ) feel the need to change expressions all the time. l understand the reasoning if it sounds really bad - ie the spastics society. Words become weapons in piss taking, but sometimes it becomes too sad. What is the difference between service users or residents - who cares. learning difficulties or learning disabilities - who cares. Bi polar or manic depressive - who cares. Tonic clonic or grand mals - who cares. Nutters, spazzies, whatever people have said in the past may become irrelevant in the future. Some blacks are trying to reclaim nigger. Don't know if that is right or wrong as l am not black. What l do know is any terms that are at the moment " right on " will become piss taking terms in the future ( ld's - special needs etc ). People should treat other people with love and kindness ( not that l always do it myself as l am a piss taking twat ), but words are just sounds. be nice to people, if they are your mates, feel free to take the piss. The main thing is, do piss taking on an equal footing. let them be able to take the piss back as much as they want without either of you getting upset. Don't be racist or a twat. Don't try to impress your mates with being post modern etc. Be cool and say what you want to with others, but say it with love underneath. The lesson from a drunken fool has ended. toodle pip

test your ears

Which of these clips do you think sounds best? With thanxs to Patrick Crosley.
http://mp3ornot.com/

l guessed right!

good friday in the boro

Still not posting as much as l would like – still trying to discipline myself ( oo er ).

Good Friday in M’bro was excellent – went through early to meet Robbo and Kerry (our best mates) and then a taxi into town for about 1.30. Told there had been a load of raids on pubs ( apparently the Coronation had been done twice ) so we thought it may be an interesting day.
Decided to go to the House on Linthorpe road for the first drinks, plus a bite to eat (chips! – yum yum). Was having a fine old time on the big round table by the door, even though it meant we were sitting miles apart from each other. Were joined by Kerry’s brother Matty and his flatmate Pee Wee, who is a bouncer in the Boro. Kerrys other sister Gill and Danny her husband also met up with us and then it got silly. Obviously we do not do anything illegal, but everyone during the day was on pills or coke, which made conversations ridicules.
The Southfield and the Crown were no better – mad talk and lots of games of pool ( l am superb – undefeated during the day )..
Remember dancing to Family Affair and Dance to the Music by Sly and the Family Stone, getting my hair tied back by the girls, chatting to Pee Wee about his dodgy past, cleaning, coke, and ecstacy changing the face of football violence ( that’s another story ). Mandy behaved herself, Robbo flaked out, Kerry chatted non-stop and l explained to Matty how Ronaldo takes his free kicks ( with Matty trying to wind me up ).
Taxi back to Kerry and Robbos at Nunthorpe then time for bed.

Went to the Coronation for lunch and a few drinks as Mandy was reluctantly driving. Dropped off Kerry and Robbo at Teeside park then back to the wine bar. Chatted to Nikki the barmaid about the boob job she wants ( she is only 19 ) and back home to sleep. Found l was left with a pill in my back pocket. Wonder who put that there. Piss poor weather but a great time. Toodle pip

out and about

Been another busy kind of week, working and wasting my time in pubs. Read Alex Fergersons diary from a few years bck - that is one busy man. Dosen't matter if you love or hate him, he puts the hours in. l manage to while away whole days dossing about and avoiding things l have to do till the last minute. Can't see that changing though.
Had a family do on Friday which we didn't leave till 3 am, so it must have been good. The other half certainly got drunk but managed to stroll home afterwards ok. Plenty of food, drink and piss taking, so l enjoyed it. Tried to hop some of the way home (as you do ) but had to give up. Dodgy knee. Nothing to do with old age or the drink.
Out again all day Tuesday in our local wine bar ( which we call the wine bar ! ). Playing pool, drinking and piss taking. Another fine day. l can see a pattern emerging. Not to keen on people chatting to me who l can't remember though. Have a lot of people round where l live that know me or know of me, but l do not always know them. Bit awkward when they try to speak to me for to long. Don't mind chatting for a little bit but not for too long ( unless they are interesting ).
People also have crazy memories, loads of people round here think they went to school with me or remember me when l was a kid, but l only moved to Catterick when l was 16. Mad bastards. Maybe it's me. Maybe l have gone mad and did actually go to school here.
Anyway - bank holiday tomorrow. Off to Boro with some mates for another all dayer. Have to get some rest and beauty sleep ( lord knows l need some of both ). Toodle pip

champions league draw

The draw for the champions league quarter finals has just been completed. Manchester United will play Roma and if they win that, they will play the winners from Shalke 04 or Barcelona. United against Barcelona should be a great semi final ( l hope ).
To my reckoning, and with lots of hope, l make Manchester United to be favorites. Arsenal have to beat Liverpool, then probably Chelsea, then United or Barcelona to win it. Liverpool have to beat Arsenal, then probably Chelsea, then United or Barcelona. Can't see Fernabahce beating Chelsea, but Chelsea would then have to beat Liverpool or Arsenal, then United or Barcelona.
With a bit of luck, United should beat Roma, then Barcelona in the semi final ( although that will be tough ) and one of the English teams ( which l think they would do ).
Personally, l would like all the other English teams to be knocked out and it to be a United against Fernabahce final. Think it will be Manchester United against Chelsea though, with United winning of course! Can't wait! toodle pip

Autobiography

Bloody hell! Two posts in one day!!

Started to write (at long last ) my life story. Has taken a lot of prompts from people and it will need checking over and altered for the better when l have finished, but hey, it's on the go!
Not doing it in any order and l will try and be as honest as l can, although some names may need to be changed for legal reasons.
Not doing it an chronological order, just certain events, as they spring to mind.Once l have done quite a few l may have to think about it more and prompt people for their memories of events.
Doing it in cyberspace with no links so l can store it out of the way and avoid people finding and reading it. lt's also good if l want to wind up people by saying l have written about them, it's out there on the internet and they can't find it.
Imagine it will take me ages (if l don't die first). l need a secretary! toodle pip

T.Rex at the Georgian Theatre, Richmond

Been pretty busy this week so not kept updating. Will make more of an effort in the future - got to get into the habit.
Been to see T. Rex who are a tribute to the music of Marc Bolan at the Georgian Theatre in Richmond, North Yorkshire.
Rob Benson, the singer, danced and dressed more like Mick Jagger but did do a great job of sounding like Marc and the acoustic section at the start of the second half was excellent. Apparently he saw the band and said he was a huge Bolan fan, could sing like Marc and wanted to join (the rest is history etc etc).
They did not try to look like T.Rex, looking more like what they probably were, failed ex members of bands and session musicians. Nothing wrong with that and the drummer, Paul Fenton, had at least played on a T.Rex album (Zinc Alloy) and toured with them.
They started out as Mickey Finn's T.Rex (conga player in T.Rex after Steve Took), and l am not keen on the fact they use the T.Rex name so prominently now, even though it has "a celebration of Marc and Mickey underneath". Personally l think they should make it obvious they are a tribute band, like others do, as there are some sad bastards out there who will think it is just the original band without Marc.
They also featured Graham Oliver, one of the guitarists from Saxon (Wheels of Steel etc) who had a tendency to rock out a bit - it was stereotypical rock guitarist behaviour, down at the front (of a very small stage in an intimate old theatre). Although he can obviously play well, it spoiled it for me as it distracted from the T.Rex vibe, although some of the numbers sounded better a bit speeded up and rocky ( Bolan himself liked to "rock out"- maaaann!).
It was just too much for me, even though l love loud and rocky music as much as the next man. The woman l was with thought it was the best bit of the night as she is a bit of a rock chick and only knew a few Bolan songs.
Funny how some songs get better after a while. l thought Solid Gold Easy Action/20th Century Boy etc were not as good as Bolans earlier stuff at the time, but now love them just as much. The Groover has got better and l now like Teenage Dream, although when l was a kid, l skivved off school to go and buy it on the day of release, clutching it to my bosom in anticipation all the way home from Wallingford ( a walk of about three miles to RAF Benson, where l was living at the time). The disappointment l felt when l first heard it was all consuming and l vowed never to waste my money on a Bolan record ever again. Having the day off school didn't even compensate. Concentrated on Status Quo and Deep Purple after that (told you l like rock music!).
l won't dwell on Truck on Tyke as l still despise that bloody record.
Anyway - l digress. Check out the bands website http://www.t-rex.co.uk/ and try to catch them live - well worth the effort if you are a Bolan fan. Toodle pip!

Betting and the Arsenal

Put on my first accumulator bet last night, Arsenal let me down as they won but l got all the other results right - bastards! Going to put them on now and again and lets hope it makes me rich. Tam the barman from the local had put one on last weekend with some other lads, got 27 out of 28 right and would have won £10 million aprox. Once again it was Arsenal that let them down, only drawing with Aston Villa. l think l am detecting a pattern. Never trust the Arsenal. Toodle pip

United for the league - come on !!

Great weekend even with Arsenal scoring in injury time ( jammy bastards ). United walked it against Fulham with Ronaldo and Rooney on the bench. l think Arsenal will bottle it but l do think Chelsea are still in with a shout. Lyon Tuesday, hope it's a good one. Prediction from me is 3-1 to United. Toodle pip