Cheaper Drugs Now !!

invites are out for the nhs emergency summit

2012-02-18T13:02:00.001Z

This visualisation is by Ben Goldacre, and shows just who David Cameron sends the invites out to when calling for emergency summits regarding the NHS bill. Why does none of this surprise me?

toodle pip

andy warhol injury photos by richard avedon

2012-02-18T02:13:00.000Z

I was re-watching a documentary tonight about Lou Reed's (excellent) Transformer album, and when they spoke about Andy Warhol being shot (by Valerie Solanas), l was reminded of these splendid pictures of Andy by Richard Avedon, after Andy had been operated on. The scars put the one on my leg to shame.

toodle pip

apt tattoo for knife in face guy

2012-02-18T01:53:00.000Z

I bet he was glad he got to display his tattoo at the hospital, but that knife looks like it might smart a bit.

toodle pip

space age pool table on radiance of the seas

2012-02-17T09:22:00.000Z

This space age self balancing pool table is on board a cruise liner (Radiance of the seas), and the clip shows it operating in rough seas.

Outstanding stuff - exactly what technology should be used for.

toodle pip

127 hours (2010) - danny boyle

2012-02-16T23:36:00.001Z

James Franco film stuff above - the real life Aron Ralston stuff below

The true story of a trip that went wrong, 127 Hours stars James Franco as a better looking version of the real life Aron Ralston, who went for a hike in the Blue John Canyon, Utah, and ended up getting his right arm trapped by a boulder in a slot canyon. Unable to escape, he eventually had to cut off his own arm with a crappy 2 inch knife attached to a multi tool (after breaking the bones first). Rather him than me - l'd have stayed and given up. Mind you, my blubber would have kept me going for a while, and l'd have drank my own piss and eaten some ants before the water ran out (but that's another story).
The film mainly has Franco filmed alone in the canyon, but there are also flashbacks, a short back story, and some hallucinations. After all, you've always got to include some kind of love interest, even telling a true story like this.
The film flew by, and the suspense never eased up, which must have been a difficult thing to achieve, seeing as most people would know the true story (and the ending) beforehand. Franco was excellent in it, but maybe should have called on some of his Green Goblin powers to try to escape. I think Danny Boyle should have included the swimming sequence with the two girls (if it had to be included at all), as a hallucination, rather than an event (which never happened), but that was my only quibble. I enjoyed it so much, l am off to have a celebratory drink of my own urine, nibble on some rabbit droppings, and trim my fingernails as a homage. I thought about trapping myself in the airing cupboard, but l'm not that stupid.

toodle pip

super hero costumes for dogs

2012-02-16T15:50:00.002Z

This makes me want to go out and steal a dog just so l can dress it up (not for the first time).
Costumes are available here.
Only $11.40!

toodle pip

steve martin - born standing up

2012-02-16T09:57:00.000Z

I finished Steve Martin's 'Born Standing Up' in the bath yesterday evening, and it was really interesting, if you are interested in comedy, fame, magic and death (which, of course, l am).
It deals with his upbringing, up to achieving (and dealing with) his fame, and the later death of his parents, but is mainly about trying to make it for years, constantly changing his act to be new and original, and his anxiety attacks, probably bought on by too much work and stress (with the help of some drugs).
It is not a hilarious book by any means, but the parts about his drive and desire to learn, plus his insights into dealing with fame, are fascinating and well written, and the death of his parents and his relationships with them was very moving.
It's just a shame about 'The Pink Panther' and 'Sgt Bilko' remakes.
Recommended.

toodle pip

beatles 'a hard day's night' lobby cards

2012-02-16T09:46:00.000Z

More crap that l could easily collect. Lobby cards from cinema showings. I used to have some when l was younger, but they were lost years ago, when moving house.
Here's some l would like now, The Beatles 'A Hard Day's Night' ones.
Another collection to be cracking on with.

toodle pip

the trip bbc series - 2010

2012-02-16T01:55:00.000Z

This series could so easily have been a bit of a luvvie fest, as it features two friends (Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon), travelling Oop North to review some posh restaurants for The Observer newspaper. Coogan and Brydon play exaggerated versions of themselves, and are shown amusing each other, bickering, and being competitive with quotes, accomplishments and impressions. The Trip also portrays Brydon as a happy family man, and Coogan as a lonely individual, searching for love and striving to be taken seriously, but caught between two worlds. At one point he falls into a river while crossing it, and Brydon shouts he's 'Stuck in a metaphor'.
It took some persuading for the FPO to watch it, and l was not keen myself when it was first shown, but we both found it hilarious and sad. Even more sadly, it made us think meals where cheap when they were £50 per person. Where the Hell have my working class credentials disappeared to? I did think it was good at the end when they said the cheap fry up in the sunshine was as good (if not better) than most of the meals they had (like a good KFC, or sausage and mash can beat most meals).
They should definitely do another series, but stop then (like Fawlty Towers).

toodle pip

off work and crying to john prine and the trip

2012-02-15T09:39:00.000Z

Here's John singing the tale of the two girls and a rocky marriage

Bonnie Raitt singing John's Angel from Montgomery, which she has made her own. Some superb lyrics and a real feel of regret and yearning

If dreams were thunder
Lightning was desire
This old house it would've burned down
A long time ago

I'm still off work and been indoors for the majority of the time, which is fine by me. However, l am still going to bed really late and then waking and getting up early, so l have had a distinct lack of sleep for the last couple of weeks. This has resulted in a tear coming to my eye whenever l have been listening to sentimental songs, or watching decent comedy. This has not been helped by listening to some John Prine and watching The Trip (more from that later). Saying that, it's great! Makes you feel alive (and surprised l have a still functioning heart (albeit a dodgy one), not a lump of black coal in it's place).
Might have an early night tonight though, as post is expected tomorrow, and l don't want to sleep through the knocking.

toodle pip

the hurt locker (2008) - kathryn bigelow

2012-02-15T04:35:00.000Z

Although l enjoyed The Hurt Locker, it still fell into the old cliché of having a maverick (William James - played by Jeremy Renner) having issues, being a loner, working to his own methods, and putting others in danger (but obviously getting results), to such an extent, his performance felt like a parody (although it was praised by most).
The film was also let down by some of the unbelievable sequences, such as James going out of the compound by himself looking for a child's killers, and also persuading his two colleagues to give chase where they think a bomber is hiding (it's best if we split up'), without informing anyone else, and after being told that 'It's infantry's job').
There is enough tension involved with the areas and situations that they were put in, let alone the dismantling of the bombs, without having to go down the same route as so many other movies.
I thought they should have just shown the squad at an arbitrary point in time, and the tensions they are under. Squad members (not those sort of members) could have been fired at and blown up at random, with no great rhyme or reason, and new blood shown taking their places. Then, you would have ongoing, relentless tension, as you would never be who (if any) would survive any of the incidents (like at the beginning of the film).
The film could also just end at a random point, with more new squad members arriving (or straight after another death), to highlight that the insanity just goes on.
I should have been involved in sorting this out before it was made, it would have been so much better and hard hitting. Ah well, close but no cigar.
Next time, they should call me first.

toodle pip

the real david bailey and jean shrimpton

2012-02-14T15:56:00.000Z

David Bailey and Jean Shrimpton back in the day

Jean

Jean and David

Jean

David Bailey and Jean Shrimpton, yesterday.

After the last post - here's the real deal.

toodle pip

we'll take manhattan - bbc 2012

2012-02-14T15:36:00.000Z

It's David and Jean! (not really)

It's Jean! (not really)

It's a pretty young Bailey! (not really)

It's an iconic shot (really)

Gor blimey guvn'r, this was a right old carry on, and no mistake.
We'll Take Manhattan follows the young David Bailey and Jean Shrimpton, as they travel to Manhattan in 1962 for a Vogue photographic assignment, with the Vogue old guard in tow to keep an eye on them.
Of course Bailey ignores instructions, demands Shrimpton is used, shoots the pictures his own way (Whaat! No tripod!) and is applauded as a genius on his return.
It's a love story between Bailey and Shrimpton, and a clash of the old and new, but it was like watching Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, just totally unbelievable.
The cockerneee was either over the top, hardly there at all, or the rhyming slang just weren't right (Surely it should have been 'Eartha's', not 'Eartha Kitt's').
Although Karen Gillian is attractive, she is not in the same class as 'The Shrimp', as there is just some magical element missing that is (admittedly) hard to define. They should have put a wig on Aneurin Barnard (who played Bailey) and used him as the model instead, the handsome young self confident tyke.
A right old cockernee knees up laugh out loud and slap your thighs program, but not in the way the makers would have wanted it to be.
Bailey even gets to slag of the Beatles who he hears singing 'Love Me Do' on the flight home (he doesn't like skiffle). That was ironically shoehorned in to represent the new world coming.
Slapped wrists all round (and cancel the pearl necklace's).
Alright guv' (Now jog on).

toodle pip

old valentine day cards

2012-02-14T03:47:00.000Z

Saucy cards from back in the day. More cards here.

toodle pip

valentine day cards

2012-02-14T01:51:00.002Z

I should just print one of these off and save myself some money.

toodle pip

you will meet a tall dark stranger (2010) - woody allen

2012-02-14T01:41:00.000Z

One of the recent Woody Allen films set in London, albeit an upmarket, clean and interesting version of The Smoke that has avoided me most of the times l have visited it.
You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger deals with faith bringing consolation and hope, even if it is false faith, and may also prove to be wrong. There are various break ups, and the difficulties of trying to find new relationships, which can be problematic if a partner is still in love with his dead wife (as one example).
It's not too taxing, and certainly not too intellectual, even for a Woody Allen film, but it is outrageously middle class, and exists in a world where just about everyone is an artist, writer, gallery owner, talented musician, book store owner, or work for the foreign office.
Jealous?
Me?
Of course I am - l'm a bitter working class Scouser, who's had it hard (phnaar).
Still enjoyed it though.

toodle pip

the stupid cat in the morning

2012-02-14T01:21:00.004Z

The only trouble with being off work and then trying to have a lie in, is Jack, our stupid bleeding black and white cat.
She is about 21 years old, pretty death, blind and cronky nowadays. She also sleeps right outside of the bedroom door, and because she is used to the FPO getting up early every morning, she just meows constantly for her food to be put out at that time. It's no good shouting at her to shut up, as she can't hear us, so it's a matter of wearing earplugs or having to get up, trying to resist the temptation to boot her down the stairs for some peace and quiet (the cat, not the FPO). If there was any kind of God, she would have lost her voice, rather than her hearing. Bloody thing.

toodle pip

jeff meadows painted shoes

2012-02-14T01:12:00.000Z

Shoes that have been altered by artist Jeff Meadows. Simple yet very effective.

toodle pip

more wounded knee pictures

2012-02-14T01:07:00.000Z

After the earlier post about The Wounded Knee Massacre, here are some more photographs from then.
I've said it before, and l'll say it again - they had it hard in them days.

toodle pip

outlaw blues (1977) - richard hefflon

2012-02-13T16:40:00.000Z

The type of film that gives hippies a bad name. Outlaw Blues stars Peter Fonda as Bobby Ogden, a prisoner who has a song stolen by Garland Dupree, a visiting country star, who Ogden confronts when he gets bailed (from one of the softest looking prisons l have ever seen).
That is when the film starts getting even more stupid. An argument and scuffle ensure, whereupon Ogden accidentally shoots Dupree in the leg. All of this is captured by a video crew who just happen to be making a documentary at the time, and Ogden goes on the run. He ends up at the home of Tina, one of Dupree's backing singers (who had already taken a shine to him), and they persuade Dupree's manager to release Ogden's version of the song (to great acclaim and success), while Dupree is still in hospital (because Tina also turns out to be some kind of mastermind when it comes to publicity, promotion, and management).
Ogden bmanages to make plenty of public appearances at radio stations and record shops, and even sings before the start of an American football game, though the police are constantly trying to find and arrest him, becoming an anti-establishment hero in the process. There are plenty of chases, in cars, speedboats, and on motorbikes, but trust me on this, the film is crap. It's like a bad version of 'The Dukes OF Hazard', so try to imagine that if you can.
The 'Outlaw Blues' song itself is OK, but that's it.
I blame the drugs.

toodle pip

still off work with a sprained ankle

2012-02-13T12:39:00.000Z

The good news for me is that l am still off work, as the doctor has now signed me off for another week or so due to my ankle still being bad (I'm now due back to work on the 25th Feb). Not so good news for the FPO, as she is now cursing everytime she leaves the house in the morning, leaving me asleep in the nice warm bed after being up till silly o'clock (no change there then). I can't even say she is cheerful when she comes in later, as l am usually sitting with my feet up watching a film or reading.
Also, regarding the technology problems, on the good news front, the washing machine and hoover are both fixed (although the washing machine cost £60), the kindle and web counter been sorted, and l have also repaired one of my ipods.
Results all round!!
Right - back to reading, music, TV and the internet.
Life is hard (for some).

toodle pip

another wild night out with jack, dennis and michelle

2012-02-13T00:12:00.000Z

This looks like it would have been a good night out, and I would bet anything that there had been a lot of alcohol and drugs taken.They certainly don't look sober, that's for sure.
There is also a good chance that this is Dennis Hopper and Michelle Philips wedding do, as their wedding only lasted for eight days, and l can't imagine Jack Nicholson was hanging about with them all the time.
Then again, maybe that was the reason they split up. I would normally think maybe the wedded couple would want some peace, quiet, and a relaxing time on their honeymoon, but l wouldn't think that was the case with these two lovebirds from the party planet.

toodle pip

a matter of life and death (stairway to heaven) 1946 - michael powell and emeric pressburger

2012-02-12T23:54:00.000Z

Although an oldie, this is one of my favourite films, with a decent story, superb effects (especially for when it was made), and a Frenchman (Marius Goring as conductor 71) who dresses wildly, is pretty camp and funny, and could easily have been my role model.
A Matter Of Life And Death was renamed Stairway To Heaven in the USA, even though it specificity does not state in the film that the celestial type place is Heaven, and in fact, was probably all just in the imagination of Peter Carter (David Niven) who is a pilot who jumped out of his damaged plane, but somehow miraculously survived, even though he bailed out minus a parachute.
Carter meets the female radio operator he had been talking to when he jumped, falls in love with her, and refuses to join the afterlife when he is visited by apparitions encouraging him to do so (as his time on Earth should have been up). He then has to argue his case to stay for longer before a celestial court, while he is simultaneously under a life threatening operation.
A mixture of black and white for the imagination/afterlife parts and technicolor for the earthly bits is used, which is the opposite of 'The Wizard of Oz' (but l prefer this film).
There is plenty of upper class 'What Ho!' type language, arguments whether 'the rules' or love should be followed, and disagreements regarding the merits of England and The USA.
A spiffing tale

toodle pip

shane (1953) - george stevens

2012-02-11T01:22:00.000Z

Alan Ladd stars as Shane, the mysterious stranger who is trying to give up his gunfighting past. He befriends a family and tries to settle down, but (of course), the family and Shane are hassled by the baddies (including an impressive Jack Palance). Shane is worshipped by the families young boy, and avoids any confrontation with the bad guys, until he eventually cracks, goes into town, and sorts them all out (naturally).
A classic.

toodle pip

elton's copying our décor

2012-02-11T01:11:00.000Z

Watching a documentary on Elton John the other day, and was surprised by this. By this, l mean the Damien Hirst painting in the background. After Homer stalking me, it also turns out that Elton is copying the décor in our humble abode, as we have the same in our living room. Rather sadly, his will be the real thing, and ours is definitely a print.

toodle pip

it's official - homer is copying me

2012-02-10T16:44:00.001Z

Watching 'The Simpsons' last night, Homer behaved like me. He appeared with a Vodka bottle and a jar of mayonaisse, mixed them together, drank them, and then fell over.I'm sure he must be stalking me.

toodle pip

crappy bloody stinking snowy weather

2012-02-10T16:02:00.001Z

After the rather excellent January we had, the snow that fell at the beginning of February is taking some time to shift. Although l have been indoors 99% of the time while l have been off work, it's still annoying. Then again, it doesn't take a lot to annoy me.
There had better not be any more snow tonight, as l am planning to go to the Boro tomorrow to watch the Manchester United v Liverpool game with Robbo (and maybe see the baby).

toodle pip

mystery computer artwork for sale

2012-02-09T15:39:00.002Z

Go on, try and guess who's artwork this is. It's a famous man, and some have sold out already.
You can sell anything when you are well known, as you are either 'talented in other fields', or any kind of crap produced by you becomes collectable, good or bad.

If you want to find out who it is - go here.

toodle pip

toodle pip

bananas (1971) - woody allen

2012-02-09T15:30:00.001Z

One of the classic early Woody Allen films, Bananas has Woody (as Fielding Mellish) falling for Nancy (Louise Lasser), losing her, and then going on holiday to San Marcos to get over it.
Unfortunately, he is set up to be killed as a patsy, but escapes and joins a gang of rebels, becoming their leader (as the old one let power go to his head).
He comes back to the USA, where he is recognised, put on trial, but still gets the girl in the end.
Some classic dialogue and physical comedy, but l preferred watching it years ago, when it still seemed fresh, not as it is now (dated).
Nowadays l prefer the 'Annie Hall' type films of his, but l would still rather watch this than most of what passes for American 'comedies' these days.
And yes, it did feature a young Sylvester Stallone bullying Woody on the subway.

toodle pip.

breakdowns - art spiegelman

2012-02-09T15:09:00.002Z

I must have been drunk or hallucinating or something recently, as this book arrived in the post, and l can't remember ordering it. Hurrah! An excellent surprise for me, as l didn't have it already, and l love Art Spiegelman's cartoons.
Breakdowns covers his early years, the start of Maus, and his various issues (he ended up in a mental institution), using different comic styles.
There is also a fair bit about how comics work, but a lot of this was in Metamaus, so l had prior knowledge of that.
Still, an unexpected bonus, that l read in one sitting.
Let's hope there are some more on the way that l also don't know about.

toodle pip

outrageously gay beer advert

2012-02-09T14:57:00.003Z

For Grain Belt Premium beer, which is based in Minnesota. It might be an old advert (from 2007), but it sure as hell is gay.
Mmmmmm I'm feeling thirsty

For beer.

toodle pip

pavel 183 artwork

2012-02-09T11:02:00.000Z

Very similar in style to the Banksy artworks (some would say a rip off), Pavel 183 is based in Moscow, but has also produced some great stuff. His website is here, and there's a BBC report (with video) on him here. The top one (when it is lit up) is my favourite.
Banksy's website is here.
Now where's my bleeding spray can........

toodle pip

the killing (forbrydelsen) - series 2

2012-02-09T01:41:00.000Z

Because l have been off work, there has been time to catch up on some of the Christmas time TV series, so, after ploughing through a couple of episodes a night, this has just been ticked off.
Once again Sarah Lund (Sofie Grabol) is back to investigate a killing, and then it all gets a bit complicated. The first series of The Killing was up there as of the best things l have ever seen on TV, and this series can also be placed on such a high pedestal.
Afghanistan, punishment killings, false leads, racism, corrupt (and idealistic) politicians, romance, back stabbing and power games, madness........It's all there, and every episode manages to end on a cliffhanger.
Apart from the odd moment of shouting at the TV because leads weren't followed, or Sarah taking too many risks by herself (again), this was brilliant throughout. However, it's certainly not good for my dodgy ticker, as some of it was edge of the seat stuff (and squeaky bum time).
Brilliant - and Morse and the like can bugger off, there is no comparison at all to this kind of quality.
Time for a lie down, before series three comes out.

toodle pip

policeman chases himself for 20 minutes

2012-02-09T00:54:00.001Z

An undercover policeman in Sussex chased himself for 20 minutes, before it was realised that the man he was after was himself.
How?
You may well ask, as it does sound unbelievable, but he was being directed by a CCTV operator who thought he had spotted somebody dodgy. The operator then described where the person was, and the officer kept thinking he was just behind him, until the mistake was noticed (amid much laughter, thigh slapping and piss taking).
Coppers!
Just as gormless as the one l know above (and yes, they are getting younger).

toodle pip

fabio walks and 'arry is innocent

2012-02-08T23:27:00.001Z

Who would have believed it?

toodle pip

antony sher - primo (2005) - richard wilson

2012-02-08T14:41:00.001Z

Victims in the concentration camps

Antony Sher

Primo Levi

It's all joy and happiness around this house while l have been off work, as l am not back into work now until the 14th Feb. Hurrah!
On the other hand, after all the Auschwitz stuff in Maus and Metamaus l have just read, l have also re-watched Antony Sher in 'Primo', which is film of his one man play about Primo Levi's time in Aucshwitz, based on Primo's book 'If this is a man'.
One of the main things l like about Levi, is that he went into the camp as an unbeliever, and stayed true to his beliefs, although it must have been tempting to wish for some kind of consolation in faith. To stay true to yourself in such abysmal circumstances, must take fortitude and inner strength of the highest kind, as he says himself of Lorenzo Perrone, who shared some of his rations and gave Levi some clothes, thus saving Levi's life, and remaining as a man, while the Germans tried to dehumanise them all.
Sheer is fantastic in the role, and is totally believable on stage, even though he only uses minimal props (a chair) plus some lighting and music, to get the story across. He certainly gives a master class in how to act, and makes you despair at the idea that you could ever do the same, as the gravitas he projects, albeit in a controlled and calculated way, is unbelievable. Git.
There's also a possibility myself and the FPO may visit Auschwitz later this year, as we are thinking about going to Poland for a short break. More fun and laughter on the horizon to look forward to.

toodle pip

mia at the super bowl (rebel rebel)

2012-02-08T02:30:00.001Z

There has been a lot of (overblown and exaggerated) fuss about M.I.A giving the bird finger while she was performing with Madonna during the break in the Super Bowl this year (instead of singing 'shit').
Yawn.
It's just what M.I.A and more importantly, the sponsers would have wanted really, loads of publicity all around the world, even if they may protest (in an unbelievable fashion) about how offended they are.
As for M.I.A, she also won't do badly out of the episode, and she would have entered the general public's consciousness a lot faster than she would have done by the usual route of album/tour/publicity.
A clever move by her really, but, much as l enjoy her music (Arular and Kala are great), the rebel/outsider pose is pretty crap as far as l am concerned. She wants fame and money (ker-ching ker-ching) like most other stars. That is why she agreed to perform, with Madonna, at The Super Bowl, in front of a world wide audience. Taking the moolah when she can, and good luck to her. She is also married to Benjamin Bronfman, who's father is #261 of the worlds richest people.
Jammy bastard - yes.
Rebel - no.

toodle pip

raising arizona (1987) - the coen brothers

2012-02-08T02:01:00.002Z

I hadn't seen Raising Arizona for years, and l must admit, l had forgotten how good it was. I like the Coen brothers films anyway, but for some crazy unfathomable reason, when remembering this one, l didn't think it was up to much (Duh!). Probably watched it under the influence or something, as there was plenty for me to enjoy.
Herbert 'Hi' McDunnough (Nicholas Cage), falls for a cop (Holly Hunter) while getting arrested all the time, and they eventually set up home together. Because she can't have a baby, they decide to steal one from a rich business man who's wife has just given birth to five, but things don't go according to plan (what a surprise). Two convict buddies (the Snoats brothers) escape and come to stay with them, and they are also being hunted down by a bounty hunter, Leonard Smalls 'The lone biker of the apocalypse'. Superb stuff.

toolde pip

it was 37 years ago today - oxford v manchester united

2012-02-08T01:38:00.000Z

Christ on a bike, time really is flying by. After thinking it had flown by since Edna's funeral, it is rather disheartening to realise that it was 37 years ago when l was at this match.
I was living in-between Oxford and Reading at the time (at RAF Benson), and although l supported Manchester United, l was going to all the Oxford United home games l could get to (when they still played at the sadly missed Manor Ground), and followed them as my second team (still do).
This is because l was still at school at the time, so choices where limited.
As this was the season Manchester United were playing in the old Second Division, I got to see both of them together at the same time, for the first time. I have seen other games between them since then, but this one was special.
As usual, l went with Jonathan Knapp, a school friend who's father ran a TV shop in Oxford. The usual routine was l would cycle to Jonathan's house in Chalgrove, we would watch Football Focus, and we would then get a lift through to Oxford (Headington actually) with his dad. Reverse process on the way home afterwards (but without the Football Focus).
There was a lot of excitement that Manchester United were coming to town, there were issues with the travelling away support, as there had been various hooligan escapades at other games, and Match Of The Day showed highlights that evening! Get On!
To top it all, Oxford United kept up their fine home record and won 1-0, and Manchester United walked away with the Second Division trophy later that year.
Happy days all round (for me at least).

toodle pip

polacio goal - genoa v lazio - fantastico!

2012-02-07T13:08:00.001Z

What a backheel by Polacio in Genoa's 3-2 win over Lazio.
As they say in Italy - fantastico gol di Polacio!

toodle pip

khulekani "mgqumeni" khumalo returns from the dead

2012-02-07T12:28:00.000Z

Sod The Stone Roses and The Happy Mondays reunions, this one is the real deal.
South African folk star Khulekani "Mgqumeni" Khumalo has returned, after being 'kidnapped by zombies' and presumed dead in 2009.
More info here.
Now that's what a call a comeback.

toodle pip

technology problems

2012-02-07T11:17:00.001Z

My kindle is playing up, the website hit counter seems to have stopped working, and the washing machine has conked out, maybe even taking the hoover with it.

The kindle is soon to be returned and swapped, l can't get into my old email account to rectify the counter, l can't undo a screw to get inside the washing machine, but the hoover is cooling down and might be repairable.

Bloody space age my arse.

toodle pip

mean girls (2004) - mark waters

2012-02-07T11:05:00.000Z

Lindsay Lohan stars as the new kid, but with a twist! - she's been home schooled and lived in Africa, so she has no experience of fitting in at school before (pity she never appeared at my school, as l'd have shown her what to do - phnaar).
Because this screenplay was by Tina Fey, l thought l would give it a go, despite my reservations about it being just another in a long line of American high school 'comedies' where someone tries to fit in, gets into 'capers', falls in love, and it all ends up fine in the end, after interaction with the jocks, the cool kids and the geeks.
I admit was wrong, as Mean Girls has 'a message' for the kids. Hey brothers and sisters, stop picking on each other (especially you girls), and try to be nicer, instead of just being judgemental and mean (hence the title).
Apart from that, it was just as l expected - crap.
Why do l punish myself watching this kind of rubbish? I'm usually pretty pessimistic about the outcome beforehand, my instincts are usually correct, and it's not like l'm getting any younger.
I've forgotten who's quote it was, (and l certainly can't be bothered looking it up), but it's 'the definition of a madman is someone who repeats the same process, but expects the results to be different' (or something like that).
I guess that's me - l am just waaaaaaaaaaay to stupid (or just a madman).

toodle pip

metamaus - art spiegelman

2012-02-07T10:40:00.000Z

One of my Christmas presents that l have just got around to reading (Cheers Robbo!), Metamaus is superb, and had a lot more information than l could ever have imagined.
It's about Art Spiegelman, and his earlier creation, 'Maus', featuring interviews, transcripts, early sketches and even a DVD with 'Maus' plus extra information.
I was enlightened about other comic artists and Art's ideas behind his work, and came away from the book wanting to know (and buy) more, which is always a good thing.
Sets an outrageously high standard for any other projects of this kind, and l'll certainly read it again in the future.

toodle pip

the battle of wounded knee (1890) and the busby babes

2012-02-07T03:04:00.000Z

White Lance, Joseph Horn Cloud, and Dewey Beard (Iron Tail) all survived (and are brothers)

Whenever l think about the wild west and the various battles with the Indians, l always imagine then fighting when it is warm. Obviously this is not correct, as the photographs above, taken after The Battle / Massacre at Wounded Knee in 1890 can testify. They had it hard in those days, especially the Indians, who were kicked off their land, and then put into reservations. I know they were no angels, but wouldn't you defend your land against a foreign invader, exploiter, and double crossing land grabber?
There was a mix up with some ghost dancing at Wounded Knee, and the U.S 7th Cavalry massacred a load of mainly unarmed Lakota. It is also thought that amongst the injuries the cavarly suffered, a lot was by 'friendly fire'.
There's a great book called 'Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee' (by Dee Brown) that deals with all of this stuff, and it is highly recommended if you have even the slightest interest in what atrocities occurred.
Another thing is...Dewey Beard (AKA Iron Tail) lived until 1955. I will say that again - 1955. When The Busby Babes were starting to rule, and not long before l was born.
Even though l am an old git, that is just staggering.

toodle pip

it was 3 years ago today - edna's funeral

2012-02-06T23:47:00.000Z

Time certainly is flying by. It was three years ago today that l was down in Walsall with the FPO and her family for the funeral of her grandmother on her mothers side, Edna (Collins).
It certainly wasn't a solemn occasion, and we had a good time down there, but it was made better by the fact Edna had not been scared of death, as she was very religious, and she looked forward to meeting up with her husband again (who was already dead).
I don't believe in the afterlife myself, but if it gave her comfort, and supported her during her illness, that's certainly fine by me.

toodle pip

julius shulman's photograph of the stahl's house (case study house #22)

2012-02-06T15:49:00.000Z

This photograph is by Julius Shulman, and it is the home of the Stahl's, overlooking Sunset Boulevard from the Hollywood Hills, taken in 1960, and his most well known picture, known as Case Study House #22.
There is no way in Gods green earth that the FPO would ever live in a place like that, as she would be constantly cacking herself (no change there then), thinking it was going to collapse.
I must admit, l would be a bit dubious about it myself.

toodle pip

cherry tree lane (2010) - paul williams

2012-02-06T15:32:00.000Z

This started off so well, but ultimately, Cherry Tree Lane is just waaaaay too stereotyped and predictable.
A couple are at home, obviously growing apart from each other and hardly talking, when some lads burst in looking for their son, who has 'grassed up' one of their cousins. They then wait for the son to return home so they can get their revenge.
All well and good.
However....other things come into play that reduce it to an absolute cliché.
Of course the boys from the hood talk about their rough backgrounds and they sometimes show empathy with the victims. They invite round a couple of girls and a young lad (as you do in these circumstances), and they display their ignorance of anything cultural (while smoking the weed).
They also seem amazed that the TV has so many channels, and can't work out the remote.
One of them even goes to the local shop to get money out of the hostage man's account (£1,500!!!), but they don't bother seeing if the woman has any bank cards as well.
The mother is sexually assaulted by the leader, which the other one left in the house at the time, thinks 'is out of order', and the father eventually escapes and takes some revenge.
l felt like taking some revenge on the stinking idiot rabbit after sitting through this.
Unbelievable tosh.

toodle pip

william blake negro hanging picture

2012-02-06T15:06:00.001Z

I have read a few slave diaries, seen documentaries etc and thought l knew a bit about what happened to them, but until l saw this picture by William Blake, l didn't realise that they would sometimes be hung from a gallows by the waist and then left.
They certainly had a tough time in those days, poor sods.

toodle pip

ali and elvis get ready to rumble

2012-02-06T14:13:00.000Z

I know that Elvis Presley did karate, and fancied himself a lot, but if this encounter had ever happened seriously in real life, l know who my money would have been on, even if Muhammad Ali appears to be wearing a spangled dressing gown.
Two pretty boys at their peak (arguably).

toodle pip

louis wain and his cats

2012-02-06T03:37:00.000Z

The brains a funny old thing.
I have been reading about (and looking at pictures by) Louis Wain, a prolific artist from Clerkenwell, who developed a fondness for cats when his wife fell ill (and later died). He then slowly deteriorated mentally after his mother died, until he was placed into a Mental Hospital in Tooting in 1924 by his sisters.
From there, he was eventually moved to a hospital in Napsbury, thanks to the intervention of prominent figures of the time.
There are arguments about whether he had Schizophrenia or Asperger syndrome, but what is not disputed, is how his cat illustrations became pretty wild and colourful.
They certainly appeal to me (and he taught Peter, his cat, to wear spectacles).
Brilliant.

toodle pip

35 shots of rum / 35 rhums (2008) - claire denis

2012-02-05T23:54:00.000Z

A strange one this. 35 Shots of Rum mainly deals with the story of Lionel and Josephine, a father and daughter, and the people they share an apartment block with. It does not tell a straight story, and seems to dip in and out of episodes of their life, with plenty of close ups and lingering shots, so many viewers may find this a bit boring, as it's not exactly an edge of the seat roller coaster of a film.
However, l enjoyed it, and it's the real life way the action (or lack of it) is portrayed that appealed to me.
It's about loneliness, moving on, and dealing with life in it's everyday (and sometimes boring) form.
A work colleague of Lionels retires, but is lost and bored. Two suitors are after Josephine, and Lionel realises he has to let her move on with her life. They all go to a concert but the car breaks down and they don't make it (so hit the pub instead). There is a death and a marriage, and at the marriage (of his daughter), Lionel has the 35 shots of rum, as it is a special occasion. That's about it really, but that is fine by me.
Now where did l put that rum.....

toodle pip

chelsea 3 manchester united 3

2012-02-05T18:04:00.000Z

Football - bloody hell!
We were going to go through to Middlesbrough today so l could watch the Chelsea v Manchester United game with Robbo (relaxing man to man with an ale or two) while the FPO went to the hospital with Kerry to see little Ciarun. Unfortunately, because of the snow, tiredness etc we stayed in sunny Catterick and l watched the game at home.
After about 55 minutes l nearly gave up and got into the bath to sulk, but l am so glad l didn't.
Another magnificent comeback (rare nowadays) by the glorious reds, from 3-0 down to 3-3, plus a world class save from De Gea at the end to boost his confidence. Torres missed a good chance again, and everything is fine with the world once more. Although it is two points dropped on City, the comeback and belief that will install in the team is more important.
Footie and being off work - marvellous!!

toodle pip

think! before it's too late - edward de bono

2012-02-04T01:35:00.000Z

One of Edward De Bono's recent books, although, like the others, it re-works a lot of the same ideas, and he spends a lot of the book self publicising himself and his achievements with various organisations that use his methods. I must admit, l was glad when l had finally come to the end of it.
If you want to find out about the GG3 (Greek gang of three), using PO (provocative operation), The Six Hat techniques (black is judgemental etc), Opreacy (not literacy or numeracy, but getting things done), plus more, 'Think! Before It's Too Late' is the book for you, as they are all within.
"You can analyse the past, but you have to design the future". Yawn.
He's obviously a clever guy, and does try to think of new ways to do things, but a lot of the book was just boring and repetitive, with plenty of mentions of other books by him that you can also buy.
Good luck to him if he is making a fortune out of this stuff, but he certainly shouldn't be treated as some kind of all knowing guru and just slavishly followed, as some people do.
Then again, what do l know? l'm just a poor uneducated scumbag.

toodle pip

birdsong - bbc series - philip martin

2012-02-04T00:54:00.002Z

Birdsong stars Eddie Redmayne as Steven, the posh Englishman who falls in love with Isabelle (Clemence Poesy - a French woman) before the First World War, but is heartbroken when she suddenly leaves him.
He then has to deal with the troops under his command, (including the tunnellers, known as 'sewer rats'). Meanwhile, he also overcomes his fear of the tunnels, becomes empathetic with his men, and gazes into the distance a lot, looking solemn, whether thinking about his love, or considering the cruel damage that war inflicts.
I was recommended this by somebody at work who loves the book, but the constant sly glances, unspoken words, and lovey dovey shots with piano in the background infuriated me. After a while, I started wishing he would cop off with Jack, the main tunneller (Joseph Mawle), just to liven it up a bit.
I would have preferred it to be one episode instead of two, cutting to the chase and missing out a load of the crap, which the makers will probably say are the parts that make it romantic, and give it depth and resonance. Pah!
Some excellent shots of the tunnels and battlefields, but l just felt like slapping some life into the two lovebirds, as l couldn't relate to either of them, and they just got on my ample man boobs.

toodle pip

monster amphipod found off new zealand

2012-02-03T14:33:00.001Z

The monster one that has just been found

Normal sized ones

This outrageously huge Amphipod has been discovered about 7km underwater in the Kermadec Trench, just off New Zealand.
Things like this make me dread the day when they eventually come across a huge spider in the rainforests.

toodle pip

darkness - boulet

2012-02-03T13:49:00.001Z

The Darkness, is on the internet and doesn't take too long to read, but is pretty good and easy to relate to (although also a bit girlie and romantic). Written by Boulet between 24th and the 25th January, during a 24 hour session, this is an English translation, and it can be found here.
Being off work - it's great!

toodle pip

hidden babies everywhere

2012-02-03T02:47:00.003Z

I think l am starting to crack up, as now everybody seems to be having babies, l'm seeing them everywhere.
Damn my 20/20 vision and my watery old eyes! (or maybe it's the lack of sleep).

toodle pip

the illusionist / le illusionniste - (2010) - sylvain chomet

2012-02-03T02:35:00.001Z

From an unfilmed Jacques Tati (who is shown on a movie screen) script, The Illusionist tells the story of Tatisfcheff, (Tati's real name) a magician trying to get bookings and generally survive, as the twin forces of rock and roll and television take over (it's set in 1959). Similar in style to Chamot's earlier The Triplets of Belleville / Belleville Rendezous, but at a more relaxing pace. Tatisfcheff gets a booking in the Scottish Highlands, where he befriends a young girl called Alice, who runs away to Edinburgh with him, believing he can really perform magic. There's nothing sexual between them, and they are like father and daughter, staying in separate rooms while he performs in theatre. It's basically a Cinderella story, as the girl transforms from rags to riches (sort of), as the illusionist buys her clothes and shoes. She however, does not realise he is down on his luck, working odd jobs to make ends meet (and eventually pawning his magic stuff). He then sees her with another man more her age, obviously in love, and so decides to leave her with him, as she has now blossomed into a young woman.
It's about changes in life, and father / daughter relationships, probably based on Tati's own, hence the photo at the end. It's also about friendships, keeping up a cheerful façade no matter what life throws at you, and whether you really know someone when you are only presented with what they wish to reveal. Brilliant animation throughout, and Edinburgh looks fantastic in the way it is portrayed (as does the white bunny).
I loved it (hence all the photographs).

toodle pip

the singing detective's belief system

2012-02-03T01:55:00.000Z

Re-watching 'The Singing Detective' tonight reminded me (as if l needed reminding), what a great series it was. I've only just seen episode one again, but there was plenty in that to hook you straight away, and in fact there were scenes l thought featured later in the series. One of my favourite scenes in part one (apart from when he is getting greased up), is when he states his belief system as Malthusianism (from 2.30m to 3.10m). Pure class indeed, with great acting, and it's also superbly written (Michael Gambon and Dennis Potter).
Looking forward to the rest of them already.

toodle pip

baby time in the boro and the state of kfc

2012-02-02T16:04:00.002Z

The small bladdered fool had to visit the toilet

The mother (Kerry) has left the ward.

Went to James Cook with the FPO yesterday evening to see Robbo, Kerry and the no longer little Jamie (but still little, Ciaran). There was some hassle getting there, as the A66 was closed, so after a long detour around Darlington and up the A1, it was past visiting time to see the baby. Luckily Kerry went with along with Mandy pushing her wheelchair, so a disaster was avoided, as they both managed to get in. Meanwhile, myself and Robbo went for a man to man chat about the changing ways of the world, and the great responsibility now bestowed upon him (a bit like Spider-man).
We're saving the champers until the Manchester United v Chelsea game on Sunday, as we're going up to their place to watch it.
Decided against a KFC on the way home, as the place looked so grotty, and they were taking ages to serve.
Why is that often the case? It must be advantageous to them if they hired extra staff to work or clean up, as it would encourage more custom and profits. I love KFC food, but the outlets do not compete with the cleanliness of a McDonald's, and they are certainly making loads of money (and l don't even like burgers).
Colonel (or his modern day counterpart) - get it sorted, as l had to settle for some Morrisons fajitas instead.

toodle pip

watching you tube while l'm off work - the 1960's

2012-02-02T14:53:00.000Z

This is NOT about Vietnam (it's about the Sunset Strip riots).

Rare performance without the cartoon (The Archies) that it came from

Alex Chilton was 16 when he sang on this.

Featuring the marvellous pipes of Tony Burrows

To recover from my great disappointment with the two films below, l have been watching some 1960's stuff on You Tube, as the Edison Lighthouse track was featured in 'The Most Fertile Man In Ireland' (the best thing about the film).
Hurrah! It's great being off work! My mood has improved! All is right with the world once more!
Spring will soon be here (when life is skittles, and life is beer) and l've got crisps and dips for tea (the healthy diet). Spot on.

toodle pip

she's out of my league - the most fertile man in ireland

2012-02-02T13:41:00.001Z

I really don't know why l keep persevering with these type of (so called) comedy films, as they just wind me up.
She's Out Of My League is an American movie with the standard bunch of loser mates in dead end jobs, until one of them (an everyday, average, nice guy) get's to cop off with a beautiful (and yet intelligent and down to earth) woman, despite fierce competition. What a load of crap. A standard, run of the mill film, that looks as though it could have been written on the back of a fag packet in under ten minutes, with an added 30 seconds to write the funny bits. I assume there are funny bits, as l certainly didn't come across any, but then again, l switched off after about 40 minutes, so maybe the second half was a rip roaring roller coaster of a fun festival (although I very much doubt it).
The Most Fertile Man In Ireland was like a crappier version of a Richard Curtis project, just set in Belfast. By Richard Curtis project, l am referring to Love Actually, Four Weddings and Vicar of Dibley, not the class that was Blackadder (which ended up having a lot of imput from Ben Elton, which made it funnier).
Anyhows, back to the tripe.
The men of the country become infertile, but one (guess what's coming up!) ordinary loser finds he is outrageously fertile, so he starts getting paid to impregnate the ladies. Of course he also manages to get the girl of his dreams to fall for him, and gets involved with 'the troubles', but this is.....
That's as much l can say, as this was also switched off way before the end, with me dejectedly trudging away from the TV, kicking the cat, and cursing the film industry that produces such tosh. Starring Kris Marshall, it was so bad, it made me pine for the BT ads, and they are a bunch of crap as well.
At this rate, l'll also be pining to go back to work (I'm off with a sprained ankle for a week).
I can only take so much.

toodle pip

hideous looking tardigrades

2012-02-02T00:59:00.002Z

Sometimes l think it's best not to know too much about stuff (I'm quids in then).
These little bastardos are called Tardigrades. They are very small (up to 1.5 millimetres) and can be found pretty much everywhere. And by everywhere - l mean everywhere.
It's the last time l lie around on the beach, that's for sure, as l won't be able to relax, now l know that these critters will be all over it.
Damn you! science and double damn you! microscopes.

toodle pip

bomb damage in liverpool city centre

2012-02-02T00:44:00.000Z

I was thinking again about the tornado in Alabama that l had blogged about earlier, and knew l had a similar photograph stashed away that it was reminding me of. Now l remember what it was (at long last - my brain cells have been destroyed). It's the above one of Liverpool city centre after a bombing raid during the Second World War, when the Germans tried to get my grannies chip shop (copyright - Stan Boardman).
And l thought Bootle looked bad.

Actually, it did.

toodle pip

sunken moses bridge in the netherlands

2012-02-02T00:26:00.001Z

Although l reckon this will definitely flood at some stage, l do think it's a great design, and it looks fantastic. It's for crossing the defensive fortress in Halsteren (The Netherlands), and was designed by Ro Koster and Ad Kil. Because of the parting of the waters, it is known as the Moses bridge, and more pictures and information can be found here. Great stuff.
Saying that, although l really do like the look of it, never trust an architect (as my mother used to say). What is the point of designing something like this if it does end up flooding all the time. I'll have to check up on it in the future and maybe re-assess my verdict then. Time will tell.

toodle pip

the kids are alright (2010) - lisa cholodenko

2012-02-01T16:36:00.001Z

I kept seeing 'The Kids Are Alright' listed on sky, and then being disappointed when it wasn't The Who film. Eventually though, l crumbled, and decided to give it a go, as it had received such good reviews.
A married lesbian couple, Nic and Jules (Anette Benning and Julianne Moore) get into difficulties when their children contact Paul (Mark Ruffalo), their sperm doner father, as he then starts to influence the children, and falls for Jules (who sleeps with him) when she is landscaping his garden (that's not a euphemism). Drama unfolds when the deception is uncovered, and there are plenty of tears shed (some, l admit, shed by me - l think l may have an allergy).
Not the best film l've ever seen by any stretch, but it's enjoyable enough.
More drama than comedy though.

toodle pip

what the hell is tony curtis wearing?

2012-02-01T02:46:00.001Z

Here's a cool photograph of Sidney Poitier, Tony Curtis, Sammy Davis Jr and Jack Lemmon, but what stands out for me is Tony Curtis and his choice of clothes. I really hope they are being worn for a film, but even so, just look at the long sock and tight short combination he has got going on. He wouldn't have lasted two minutes around these parts.

toodle pip

men magazine fashion

2012-02-01T02:38:00.001Z

What the stylish man about town should be wearing, according to Men Magazine, back in the day.
Nice - keep it sweet.

toodle pip

satyricon (1969) - federico fellini

2012-02-01T02:33:00.000Z

Wow, Fellini really goes to town on this film. Set in the time of Nero, Satyricon follows the exploits of Encolpio (Martin Potter), his love for Gitone, and his travels and adventures throughout ancient Rome (including being involved in the death of a hermaphrodite with healing powers).
It's an outrageously gay film, and Fellini has taken a lot of liberties with the story, adding in scenes wherever he felt like. The colouring of the film, the strange characters, the surreal settings, the mad feast, and the weird story, make it seem like a hallucination or a disturbing dream, but that is no bad thing as far as l am concerned.
The book by Petronius is vastly different (although l haven't read it for years), with many missing sections. These are the parts added by Fellini, and l think he did a good job it.
A very strange film indeed, but right up my street.
I knew l should have been gay.

toodle pip

giant ant hill excavated

2012-02-01T02:12:00.000Z

This is pretty amazing. A giant ant hill is excavated by pouring a load of concrete into it, and then digging away all the surrounding earth. The size, scope and planning of the structure built by the ants is staggering.
Clever little sods, they'll be taking over the world if they keep on like this.

toodle pip

I sell the dead ( 2008) - glenn mcquaid

2012-02-01T02:08:00.002Z

I Sell The Dead is a black comedy about two grave robbers, one of whom, Willie Grimes (Larry Fessender) is guillotined at the start of the movie. The other, Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan) is visited in his cell by a priest, Father Duffy (Ron Perlman), and recounts his life of crime to him.
The trouble is, the film is not at all scary, even though it features vampires, zombies and killings. It is also not funny, and l couldn't relate to either of the main characters, although Ron Perlman was his usual excellent self.
Pretty rubbish really, another hour and a half of my life wasted. Lucky l am off work at the moment.

toodle pip

little jamie has appeared

2012-01-31T18:14:00.000Z

Had a phone call today from Kerry to say that little Jamie has been born in Middlesbrough, is doing fine and is OK. Bit of a shock that it has happened so soon, as it was not due until the end of March, but at least everything seems to be working correctly. Little Jamie turned out to be a boy (although they are naming him Ciaran) and we will be going through tomorrow to see them all. Champagne and cigars for Robbo, a pat on the head for Kerry.
All we have to do now is wait 18 years and get him matched up with Louise and Dazzer's Lol.

toodle pip

bacon in a tube

2012-01-31T14:52:00.000Z

America - l love the place. The home of bacon in a tube which can be added to cakes. Pure genius!

toodle pip

son of dracula (1943) - robert siodmak

2012-01-31T01:55:00.000Z

Not one of the better Dracula films, Son Of Dracula stars Lon Chaney Jr as Count Alucard, who comes to the States and marries Katherine, a plantation owners daughter. She however, has done it so she can nibble on and then spend eternity with Frank, her true love. Obviously things don't go to plan, and the Count is killed in the end.
The first Dracula film to have the transformation into a bat, but it's still pretty damn dated.

toodle pip

out for lunch with the crazy cats

2012-01-30T00:48:00.002Z

Idiot cat in Tunstall

Idiot cat in Tunstall on the cooker

Idiots in Tunstall

Trying to snow in Tunstal

Dragged myself out of bed this morning to watch The Sunday Supplement, then went off to to Louise and Dazzer's for Sunday lunch, prepared by Dazzer and eaten in a kitchen that could well have been one in Beirut, as it needs plastering, painting, and units put in. Apart from that, it's great, and they at least have a new cooker.
The food had a bit too much on the old vegetable side for me, but there was cans with it, and it was nice and tasty otherwise.
Myself and Daz persuaded our FPO's to let us bugger off to the pub in Tunstall for an hour and a half afterwards (we have to obey a tight and strict schedule), but unfortunately for us (and luckily for the girls), it was (as we suspected it might be) closed. What a swine of a result (a bit like Liverpool v United yesterday).
We sulked back to the house, had another can of wife beater, then myself and the FPO returned home, where l promptly fell asleep reading in the bath (water in first).
Watched the last episode of Misfits (series three) which we had taped before Christmas, then it was the computer for me, bed for the sap who has to get up in the morning for work.
It's great being off work (not back until Tuesday afternoon).

toodle pip

old tv listing from 1980

2012-01-29T23:42:00.002Z

This is an old TV listing from about 1980, and it just shows haw crap the television was back in the day. Only three channels, and they closed down just after midnight.
No wonder l used to go out a lot.

toodle pip

the changing face of catherine zeta jones

2012-01-29T23:35:00.000Z

Now, as those who knows me would confirm, l am not a person who would ever say a bad word about anybody, nor comment on the fact they may have had plastic surgery done.
OK, l'm lying - of course l would.
l am not for one moment suggesting that Catherine Zeta Jones has had any work done, but she sure as hell doesn't look like the girl from the valleys anymore.
What's wrong with being happy with how you look? Growing old gracefully? Bucking the Hollywood obsession for surgery? Staying close to your roots?
Sod all that - she looks miles better, and whatever she paid, it was worth it, although l do suspect that her new picture has been heavily airbrushed and photo-shopped.

toodle pip

the sons of katie elder posters

2012-01-29T23:21:00.003Z

The posters for The Sons Of Katie Elder. More crap l would like to own.

toodle pip

the sons of katie elder (1965) - henry hathaway

2012-01-29T23:17:00.001Z

This is the kind of film l grew up with.
The Sons Of Katie Elder is based on the true story of the Marlow brothers, who, like the Elder boys in this film, are ambushed while supposedly being moved to safety by the law.
The four brothers had come home for their mothers funeral, and try to find out who shot their father. They are then framed for a murder and then ambushed while being transported away from town.
The Duke does get some revenge at the end, but after a high cost to the brothers.
I can watch pretty much any cowboy film with Dean Martin in, and John Wayne is his usual self (even after his recent bought of cancer). As a bonus for me, it also features a young Dennis Hopper as a cowardly baddie, and George Kennedy (from Cool Hand Luke) as a not so cowardly baddie, so l was quids in with this.
Also, Katie Elder was a real person, more commonly known as 'Big Nose Kate' and was very friendly with Doc Holliday. She didn't die until 1940, which is just amazing to me, as that seems so recent.
Top stuff.

toodle pip

three people you shouldn't go out drinking with - when stars were stars

2012-01-29T00:48:00.001Z

What a night out this must have been. All hail, from left to right - Keith Richards, James Brown, and John Belushi.
Sadly (but to be expected) only one of them is still alive (obviously the inspiration that is Keef).
Stars nowadays? Pah!
Gym going, moisturiser applying, funny haircut wearing, lip syncing and choreographed dancing in 'trendy' clothes bunch of girls.
And that's just the blokes - don't get me started on the women.

toodle pip

in the valley of elah (2007) - paul haggis

2012-01-29T00:02:00.004Z

I know The Valley Of Elah is based on a true story (and it's where David fought Goliath), and maybe l was just not in the mood for it, but l tried watching it this evening, and thought it was crap. I was lent it by somebody at work, and a few people there had said they enjoyed it, but l most certainly didn't. I just hate the sort of films that have an old soldier who still lives as though he is in the army, walking into bases and everyone kowtowing to him, telling him classified information, saying they will withhold evidence (a hash pipe), and treating him like he is some general, rather than the sergeant he was. Of course there's a dodgy bloke in a van who can assist him with high tech stuff, and of course he is dissmissed by the police, until a disillusioned and attractive female officer ends up taking pity on him and helping him out, and .......
That's it, l got no further than the body being found.
The sort of serious, over the top and unbelievable kind of film l hate, even if the only part of the film l saw was pretty slow and bathed in misery (which l would normally like).
It's the last time l take advice from anyone at work.

toodle pip

lookalikes - some good - mostly bad

2012-01-28T23:56:00.000Z

Amy - even better than the real thing. Looks good.

Billy Connolly - more like the cockney comedian Micky Flanagan with a false goatee

Bruce Willis???? No way! Pull that vest over his ugly mug.

Cameron Diaz? - I don't think so! More like David Cameron's spoon fed daughter.

Our Cilla - a lorra lorra testicles on this version

The Dame - Nothing like him, and he needs some sleep

Reg, but with worse hair (who thought that would be possible?). Also, like a wino l know down the pub

The great and good Frankie Howard - titter ye not - he looks good

Matt Le Blanc???????????????????? Piss off!!! No friend of mine.

Jose??????? That's even worse!!! The special one? Special needs more like.

Lara Croft - she seems to have aged a lot and looks pretty unhappy about it.

Patsy Kensit - looks like she needs a trip to A and E

Becks - waiting for the muscular body, tattoos, and his balls to drop

Macca - been pigging out at to many (of his own) wedding receptions

Wazza - he looks good. Probably enjoying the Bootle prozzies right now.

These are all available to be booked here, but there are some right stinkers amongst them. I think Amy Winehouse, Rooney and Frankie Howard look great, otherwise.........I don't think so.

toodle pip

tron motorbike

2012-01-28T00:19:00.001Z

Ooooohhh, once again, if l only had the money........
This is just the sort of motorbike l should be riding. A rather magnificent and powerful Tron one from Hammacher Schlemmer, which is a snip at $55,000.
Still, it's lottery time again tomorrow, so there's always hope.

toodle pip

collecting bags

2012-01-27T23:39:00.000Z

As l often tell the FPO, she should be grateful l am not loaded, as the good old homestead would be full of even more junk.
Here's something else l could easily collect.
Bags.
Yessirie - that is correcumundo - l said bags.
Rather sadly, l used to have a load of plastic ones from stores (record and toy) and my travels, but l am not sure if l still have them (they could be stashed away in the garage).
I really need to get a life.
But saying that........ Here's a website.

toodle pip

fulop gabor ladybird sculpture

2012-01-27T23:17:00.000Z

I think this ladybird sculpture by Fulop Gabor is pretty damn cool. There some more stuff here, but l like this one the best. The only thing now is I think l may have to crack on and do a George Best one made out of beer bottle tops.

toodle pip

anti aging mouthpiece from japan

2012-01-27T22:48:00.002Z

I'll have to but the FPO some of these. An anti aging mouthpiece from Japan.

The promo says

'This easy-to-use beauty and skincare product was developed by an ordinary housewife. Chikako Hirama was simply concerned about her own age and wanted an easy way to combat those telltale lines. Just try the yellow or pink Pupeko daily using such techniques as puffing out your cheeks or sucking them in while breathing through the mouthpiece. Then you can try it while keeping your head upright to give your neck and other muscles further exercise training'.

It can work on so many levels. It looks dirty, it might keep her quiet for a while, and it helps her look younger.
A result on all levels! Hurrah!!!
Look here.

toodle pip

the alabama tornado and underground houses

2012-01-27T16:54:00.002Z

This is one of the pictures of the devastation caused by the recent Tornado in Alabama. What gets me, is why everyone still adheres to the old way of designing and building houses, especially when there is a good chance a Tornado will come along at some stage and destroy them. Why not build them so they are mostly underground? The houses would be cooler in summer, warmer in winter, pretty soundproof, and a lot harder to destroy. You could probably get some kind of false windows put in if you wanted, with some kind of periscope device that shows the views from above. Don't even go there if you are thinking about flooding or drainage, as that could easily be sorted.
I tell you, l'm wasted in my job (in more ways than one).

toodle pip

limitless (2011) - neil burger

2012-01-27T16:24:00.003Z

Limitless stars Bradley Cooper as loser Eddie Morra, who has been dumped by his girlfriend, is pretty broke, and can't get his book written.
He bumps into his old brother in law, who gives him a new smart drug (NRZ) that is yet to come onto the market, and although reluctant at first, Eddie takes it (of course he does, or there would have been no film).
This transforms Eddie, as the pill enables him to access all parts of his brain, making him super intelligent, multilingual, tough, a hit with the ladies, and a lot tidier.
Eddie (naturally) decides he would like some more of the little beauties (tablets not ladies), but his previous brother in law just becomes previous, as he is murdered.
Luckily for Eddie (or is it?), he finds the hidden stash and continues to take it. He dresses smarter, earns lots of money, and gets involved with some shady people, including gangsters he borrows money off (you would think he had more sense), and Robert De Niro, who plays Carl Van Loon, a powerful businessman.
Eddie then starts to feel sick, is followed around by dodgy looking men, has memory loses, and gets involved (closely) in a murder. Eventually (after a bit of bloodshed), he tries to sort everything out, and runs for senate, but is pressured by Van Loon, who knows he is on the drug, and offers to supply it.
I thought the ending wasn't that great, but the film itself was OK, and pretty good in some places (with some great cinematography). Bradley Cooper transforms himself in the film (the good looking bastard), and De Niro is back to his mean old self, and yet.....
The trouble is, films like this also annoy me, as l am always thinking 'He wouldn't do that' or 'Why doesn't he do this', as, after all, he is meant to be super intelligent.
For starters
He must have known he may be watched or in danger after his old brother in law had been murdered, after all, Eddie called the cops to report it, so the baddies would have known he turned up, and may have the stash.
Following on from this, he would have moved and laid low, while making some serious money, rather than being in a hurry and borrowing off a very dodgy criminal (or pay the criminal back afterwards, and then move away).
Rather than showing off with his new found powers, getting featured in newspaper articles etc, he would have avoided the publicity and played down how lucky he had been, to stay safe.
He buys a state of the art secure home for millions, and yet the windows shatter when someone is thrown against them (Pah!!).
One of the first things he would have done is make some more pills himself, rather than reaching into his stash and being surprised there were non left.
I could go on, but my life is already draining away as it is.
A decent enough movie, but they should make the effort and think these things through, but, once again, l suppose there would be no story, as these things (supposedly) make the thing dramatic.
It still does my head in - maybe l need some pills.

toodle pip.

zakaria tamer book illustrated by hijazi

2012-01-27T14:57:00.002Z

This Egyptian book is by Zakaria Tamer, and is illustrated by Hijazi. Now l haven't got a clue what the book is about, or anything about the author and illustrator, but l sure do like the cover. It's colourful, surreal and childlike. Marvellous stuff.

toodle pip

more dodgy comic panels

2012-01-27T14:48:00.001Z

I've never trusted Superman.

toodle pip

killing bono (2011) - nick hamm

2012-01-27T14:44:00.001Z

Starting in the late 1970's, this is the tale of two brothers trying to make it big in their band, but being dwarfed by the accomplishments of their former school friends, U2 (and especially Bono). Based on the book 'Killing Bono - I was Bono's doppelgänger' by Neil McCormick, Killing Bono has a similar feel to 'The Commitments' about it. Now this may be lazy stereotyping on my part, as they both feature Irish youngsters in bands trying to succeed, with some humour and music thrown in, but what the Hell, that's the view I'm taking. Ben Barnes and Robert Sheehan star as Neil and Ivan McCormick, the brothers trying to make it, but, unknown to Ivan, his brother Neil had persuaded Bono not to let him join U2 in the early days, when Ivan was practising with them, as he wanted to be successful on their own terms, and be better and bigger than U2. Misfortune also follows the brothers along the way, with disastrous double bookings and mishaps. They also get involved with Danny Machin, an Irish gangster (played superbly by Stanley Townsend), and Neil turns down the chance to support U2 at their homecoming Croke Park gig in 1987. There are band fights and break ups, some romance (and break ups), and lots and lots of bickering. Pretty good though.

toodle pip

pat benatar - between a heart and a rock place

2012-01-26T14:22:00.001Z

I am not a great fan of Pat Benatar, but when l used to hang out at a mates place years age (Hello Stocky!), he had posters up on the walls and loved her. Through him, l was forced to listen to her albums and despite liking the odd track, was not convinced.
While scrolling on the Kindle, l fancied reading something light, and l thought l would give this book a go, to see if there was anything l had been missing out on. I only had the book on it as l had uploaded a load of books from a DVD l had with thousands on, as there is no way on Gods green and pleasant land that l would have parted with my hard earned money for it, even if it was in a massively reduced sale. Praise the good Lord that l didn't have to pay up, as it was pretty dire. Nothing that interesting was contained in it for me anyway. Tales of falling in love with the guitarist and marrying him, falling out with Chrysalis, the record company she signed to, and trying to fight sexism in the music industry (while wearing skin tight clothes). Along the way, she wins Grammys (how, l don't know), has kids |(that, l do know), and goes on about her voice and her records. No sex, drink and drugs tales, and a pretty uneventful background. Ozzy Osbourne's book was sooooooooooooooooooooooo much better (as you would expect). I wouldn't even recommend this book if l was a fan of the music.

toodle pip

satellite shot of the concordia

2012-01-25T11:51:00.001Z

This is a great satellite shot of the Costa Concordia shipwreck. It also re-enforces my belief that even l could have swam to safety.

toodle pip

breakdancing traffic cop

2012-01-24T16:52:00.002Z

Makes the traffic police in England look pretty square.

toodle pip

figo's advert and bar

2012-01-24T15:17:00.000Z

Watching the new Luis Figo advert (Just for Men), which seems to be shown about every 4.5 seconds at the moment, l can't help but think back to the glorious days of being on holiday with bugger all to do. There are a couple of pictures above from his ( as wikipedia would have it, 'upscale' ) bar in Portugal, featuring other footballers and his partner in the bar, China. Wish l was still in there now, especially now the crappy weather seems to be arriving.

toodle pip

dodgy batman toy gun

2012-01-24T14:59:00.001Z

This Batman toy gun looks well dodgy. I think this short, wide legged and rotund version would get way too much pleasure out of me squeezing that trigger. Also, it looks like he has got a butt plug in. Not that l'm judging of course, l just wouldn't want him squirting all over me.

toodle pip

two nasty deaths via flaming bulls and child eating crocodiles

2012-01-23T12:50:00.004Z

A flaming bull - yesterday

A croc - yesterday

Lying in bed this morning and catching up with some of the recent new via yesterdays Sunday papers (The Observer), l read about two gruesome and pretty (one imagines) painful deaths.

In Navajas, Spain, a 45 year old man was gouged by a bull after the man had slipped while joining in with festivities, which include being chased by the bulls. Not a lot of chasing was going on, as the bull did not have to go very far to take it's anger out on the fallen (and no doubt panicking) man. What anger? you may ask. Well, it's a bull for one thing, and it's horns had been covered in wax and then ignited, so that it would run amok while franticly shaking it's head, trying to put out the flames (and probably being very scared of them). So the man was not just gouged, he was gouged with the flaming horns of an angry and frightened bull. And then the bull stamped on him. I bet he never anticipated dying like that when he was a young nipper.

Now some might say he deserved it and knew the risks. The other victim certainly didn't.

In Indonesia, a young girl of 10 was hunting for turtles by a river with her father and brother, when she was suddenly snatched by a crocodile in front of them, who were powerless to help. Nothing has been found of the body since then.

Thankfully l do not live near crocodile infested rivers, and don't go running with bulls, so l should be safe at the moment. Mind you, my house will probably blow up in a gas explosion now. If it does - I knew the risks and it's only a coincidence, and l was not tempting fate! I do not believe in such thing.
Should be short, unexpected and sweet anyway.

toodle pip

pele sounding bitter about messi

2012-01-23T02:47:00.003Z

Lionel Messi has won the European Footballer Of The Year (Ballon d'Or) award for the third time, but it sounds like he is getting under Pele's skin, if his recent comments are to be believed.
Pele had other world class Brazilians playing with him, and most of his goals were against crappy teams (and he counted goals in friendlies).
Messi is still young, and if he stays injury free, will win the award many more times. He even scored another brilliant hat-trick again yesterday evening for Barcelona v Malaga.
Pele was great, but Messi is head and shoulders above anyone else at the moment, and it just sounds as though Pele is bitter.
Maybe his Viagra has stopped working.

toodle pip

walter freeman and lobotomy

2012-01-23T01:20:00.001Z

While myself and the FPO were at Robbo and Kerry's on Friday, after the celebrations had abated (Kerry's 40th and a gain of 5 pounds), we were discussing lobotomies (as you do in polite society), and more importantly, the work of Walter Jackson Freeman.
For those that don't know, he pioneered the transorbital ( ice pick) frontal lobotomy, and then got carried away with it, performing them extensively (he kept records of 3,439) over aprox 30 years, including on John F Kennedy's sister Rosemary, until there were too many deaths, and he stopped in1967. This was all without any formal surgical training. Basically, it's put an ice pick up a tear duct and tap it into the front of the brain, wiggle it about, then repeat under the other eye.
Amazing (and no thanks).
There's an interesting sound bite about what it was like to have a lobotomy by Freeman here.

toodle pip