Saturday, 20 February 2016

hand written messages at the kfc

When l was at the Catterick branch of KFC yesterday (I'm still not used to having a branch at Catterick!), my order came with a handwritten message at the top, which l did not notice until l had driven away from the premises.
Now this meant l immediately considered two options. First of all, and the one that would have been more likely years ago, was that the girl who was serving me took a bit of a shine to my cheeky charm, and left the message as a flirtatious one off. The second, more likely option, is that she was just being friendly, and leaves a message for most people. Either way, a nice gesture, that enhanced the already joyous experience of purchasing chicken and chips.
I suppose there is also a chance that the staff are slave driven worker drones on less than minimum wage who have no say in the matter as it is now part of company policy, and face instant dismissal if they fail to adhere to the strict work code, in constant fear of losing their jobs, and having to plaster on fake smiles all through their mind numbingly tedious shifts, while waiting for the aching in their feet from standing all day to abate with the sweet relief of death, or the clocking off time, whichever comes first.
I hope it's one of the first two options.

toodle pip

jeremy hunt's student photograph, and following him around

If only this photograph of a young Jeremy Richard Streynsham Hunt as the Oxford University Conservative Association President was real, instead of being a mocked up one. What unbridled joy could have been had.
Still, it's worth putting up anyway, as this is now the image l have stashed away in my memory banks whenever l think of the NHS destroying Mr **nt (him destroying it, not sadly, the other way round).
And who the hell has 'Streynsham' as a middle name?
Don't start making me angry....
Also, on a related note.
This piss take from 'The Last Leg' was pretty funny, and there should be more of it.  *unt should be followed everywhere, as l'd certainly chip in to help fund a full time tuba (sousaphone) player. Come on somebody - sort it out!

toodle pip

Friday, 19 February 2016

steven tyler is old

Even internationally known super cool rock stars have to get old (unless they die early), and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith is no exception, looking at his recent beach photographs.
It's bad enough for us mere mortals, but at least we don't have to live up to a mental image of our younger days for millions of fans, with numerous films and photographs of us in our prime to perpetuate the illusion that aging only happens to other people.
I'd feel sorry for the stars if they hadn't usually had such fantastic lives, with pretty much anything they wanted just a click of the fingers away (apart from a working painting in the attic).
Remember Aerosmith and Stevie boy this way...probably off their faces (It was 1977).

toodle pip

Thursday, 18 February 2016

dortmund fans europa league banner

The Dortmund fans unveiled a massive banner at their Europa League match this week, in the form of a sticker album, asking the club to complete their collection of trophies with this years Europa League trophy.
Absolute genius, and l doth my cap to them.
At least, for a short while, it took my mind off the disaster that is Manchester United at the moment, and their 2-1 defeat in the same tournament.
But only for a short while.

toodle pip 

Wednesday, 17 February 2016

eating from bowls

Eating from plates is just sooooo passe. The way forward is to eat from bowls, it's what all the hot skinny people are doing. It's a 'trend with traction', and they are conveniently photogenic for sharing on social media - proper instagram friendly, and no mistake.
Don't believe me? The New York Post are on the case. I'll never eat from a plate again. After all, it's the same food, but just not as good. Plus you've got the mind numbing task of having to push your food to the middle of the plate to mix it up a bit. What????
Come on - join the bowl revolution brothers and sisters. This is the sort of stuff my great grandfather fought and died for. Let's make him proud that his death wasn't in vain.

As for my bowl, l just don't want most of the crap featured above in my one. It does mean that l can now smother my baked potatoes in even more butter, something l never thought would be possible, so hurrah! for the hipsters and their innovative forward thinking ideas.

toodle pip

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

be prepared - order your coffin now!

Looking forward to the sweet release of death?
Plan ahead and order your coffin now - many are available, including these little beauties.
Order them here.

toodle pip

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

which way is the lady turning?

A classic optical illusion, that you might not even spot at first

From here

toodle pip

the six nations

From The Daily Mash 

Rugby’s Six Nations will see England’s pubs upgrade to a higher class of loud, annoying men. In an extensive annual re-fit, the King George in Swindon has swapped Premier League banners with the flags of the home nations and barred all its regulars for the next month. Landlord Stephen Malley said: “For the next few weeks we’re going to be attracting a much better class of boorish lout. Many of them will be called ‘Ollie’. “The place will be awash with salmon-coloured trousers, desperately immature songs and posh young women who are every bit as annoying as their ghastly boyfriends.” He added: “They’ll still get horribly pissed and vomit all over the toilet floor, but it’ll be a better educated vomit that’s programmed to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ even if it doesn’t really mean it.” Rugby fan Martin Bishop said: “It’s so nice of the football fans to make way, but it will also give them an opportunity to improve themselves.”

 I couldn't agree more

 toodle pip

Monday, 8 February 2016

it's 1923 - where's london?

This picture above is of the crowds milling in and around Wembley Stadium, for the 1923 FA Cup final (The White Horse one).
I've always found it amazing that so many supporters managed to get inside the stadium that day, but l am even more amazed that London appears to have disappeared, as poor old Wembley (old school one) was all out in the sticks on it's lonesome.
How times have changed.

toodle pip

celebrating chinese new year

What better way to spend Chinese New Year than in an all you can eat buffet?
The food was nice, and we had a laugh, but if l ever see another sweet and sour piece of chicken, l am going to run away scared. I know my limits.

"Go more tiny little mint.......whaffer thin"

toodle pip

jesus speaks

If only he had started with this.  It would have stopped some arguments straight away.
Then again, there are plenty more to be had.

toodle pip

Sunday, 7 February 2016

I'm back (with cartman).

Christmas is over - normal service has been resumed, and what better way to return than with a classic video of Cartman singing 'Poker Face'. Possibly even better than Lady Ga Ga's version, and l love that.
I only watch South Park now and again these days, but there's usually always something that makes me laugh out loud.
Especially Cartman - for many reasons, he reminds me so much of myself.
Let the madness continue.

toodle pip