I put this up on the Afterword site, so l thought l might as well share it here as well.
I used to hitch hike all over the place when l was younger, and it's how l discovered l am not bi or gay. I was picked up outside Catterick (oop North) by a lorry driver on the way to that there London, as l was off to see Status Quo in 1977. I was a pretty long haired boy at the time, so he may have thought l was a girl when he stopped for me in the dark. Outside London, he stopped for 'a rest' and got into his bunk (behind me) for 'a sleep' while l stayed in the front seats. After a short time he said he was turned on, and would l give him a wank. Not a question l got asked everyday, but as l was into T.Rex a lot when l was younger (and loved Bolan), plus eager to try most things, l thought 'What the Hell, l may even like it and may actually be gay or bi'. I leant back and did the deed, and after he had finished (I must have been good), he offered to wank me off. That was the precise moment l realised it didn't do anything for me, and l wasn't interested in other blokes in any sexual way. As you can imagine, this tale goes down a treat in the pub, as l will tell anyone prepared to listen, and am encouraged to do so by my mates. I'm not ashamed of it, I got to see the mighty Quo, and the lorry driver had his wank and didn't kill me, so it was a result for all concerned. Happy days.