Monday, 31 October 2011

pumpkin bottom

I am not the sort of person to make a pumpkin carving for Halloween, but if l was, something like this would be just the ticket.
"I can tell you this
When the female hand
She contours you
And you're like the sand
And you'll never guess
You were in so deep
And you try to walk
But you just can't creep
Well she takes her time
But she arrives
With her candle stub
And her carving knives
Like a pumpkin head
You'll be lit within
As she severs you with a six inch grin"

toodle pip

halloween the peter montgomery way

Peter Montgomery lives in Glendale in the good old US of A, and has been making Halloween displays outside of his house for the last few years. Pretty impressive (and time consuming l expect).

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vampire killing kits

Something you should never leave the house without (especially tonight), although you have to be careful of imitations and cheap copies, as they might not work.

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huge tracks of land

Where it all started - just after one minute in

The expression 'Tracts of Land', or just a shortened 'Tracts' has been used by some of us around the sunny Catterick and Middlesbrough areas for quite a few years now, as another way of saying breasts. The origin of it has been disputed amongst us, but it has come to our attention that it must have started after watching 'Monty Python and The Holy Grail', where it is used there. Bugger. That means it was not an original invention on our behalf, and maybe we are not as hilarious as we first thought, but it shall continue to be used, as we are now in the habit of saying it after so many years. Some enterprising soul even has t shirts for sale! We missed out on that business opportunity.

toodle pip

Sunday, 30 October 2011

hero (2002) - zhang yimou

This film was a splendid way to spend an afternoon while the FPO was working hard (or skiving on Second Life). Hero concerns Nameless (Jet Li), a warrior who is planning to assassinate the King of Qin. Along the way, he meets other warriors and tries to convince them to assist him in his evil plan. One of them, Broken Sword (an excellent, handsome and introverted Tony Leung), is Nameless' equal when it comes to sword play, but tries to persuade him to give up his assassination attempt for the greater good and unification of China (possibly the world, it depends how it is translated). Will he? Won't he? Watch it and find out. The film also looks fantastic, and the cinematography (by Christopher Doyle) is stunning in places and has some highly effective uses (and changes) of colour. The film is so good, l may even take up the old martial arts again, as l used to be highly effective in the Zui Quan discipline. Ah, they were the days my friend, when l was a young rake about town, speedy both in thought and actions, with a devil may care attitude and hang the consequences. Damn your eyes old age!!!

toodle pip

Saturday, 29 October 2011

george best scrapbook

This George Best scrapbook from the 1960's has been on sale on ebay. I am not bothered about owning it (although l wouldn't mind having it in my possession), but it took me back to the old days when l was an innocent young whippersnapper, when times were hard, footie was cheap and the streets were full of dogshit (and the Bootle boys bossed Marsh Lane and Litherland). Happy days indeed!

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Friday, 28 October 2011

death valley, the milky way, peyote, and the bastard spiders

This is the Death Valley with the Milky Way in the background/heavens. I want to go there and see this (and maybe take some peyote and interact with Jim Morrison), but l am a bit worried about the spiders. I think l will have to cure my fear of spiders.

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Thursday, 27 October 2011

replace the face

This guy has hit upon a good idea. Replacing the faces from old Russian paintings with modern people. More paintings and info here.

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space age jet cars are nearly here!

This is amazing. It's the future! It will mean space age jet cars!!
About bleeding time.

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Wednesday, 26 October 2011

tubbs and a rabbit skeleton

Just think, if l managed to clean all the crap, fur, whiskers and blubber off Tubbs, he will look look this, nice enough to stick on a shelf. I'll make a start tomorrow morning by shaving him.

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we're a culture, not a costume posters

One of the original posters

The piss take

An original

A piss take

Ohio University came up with some racism posters for fancy dress wearers, but these have quickly spawned some good imitations. More imitations posters are here.

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hydrothermal worm marine organism

This little git is a Hydrothermal worm marine organism , and it looks pretty scary and alien. I certainly wouldn't like that up me (through any orifice).

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katalin varga (2009) - peter strickland

Katalin Varga was made very cheaply in Romania (Transylvania!!), although the cast are speaking Hungarian (but luckily for me, it was subtitled). Katalin had been raped 11 years previously, but when her husband finds out the son is not his (and kicks them both out) she decides to get retribution on her attackers. Sadly, it was not that good a film, but there were a lot of great shots of the Romanian scenery (filmed in a natural way, so it looked real, not on film). It got better right at the end, when she stayed with the family of the rapist, but l certainly wouldn't recommend it that much (there's not even that much violence for pity's sake!).

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lucky number slevin - (2006) paul mcguigan

Another film that has been out for a while that l had not got round to watching. Also, another film that l should have watched ages ago, as l loved it. Lucky Number Slevin deals with murders, lone sharks, crime lords and mistaken identity. Things are going bad for Slevin (Josh Hartnett), so he decides to stay at a friends in New York, but gets mistaken for the person he is supposed to be staying with. This means he gets caught between the two crime lords (Ben Kingsley and Morgan Freeman), and there is also a shady hit man lurking around (Bruce Willis). Of course (as they always do) Slevin falls in love with a girl (Lucy Liu), and there are lots of twists and turns in the story. Excellent.

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more rudolph mates illustrations - a forest story

A Forest Story is from 1929 and l think the illustrations in this (by Rudolph Mates) are even better than his work on The Cock And The Hens. More of his work can be found here. Enjoy!

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