Saturday, 28 February 2009

Bra Tests

Two posts so quickly - getting carried away.


THE RESEARCHER developing an intelligent bra says there is ‘no way’ it is finished and that he may have to carry on studying women’s breasts for decades.

This generation's Apollo Programme Dr Tom Logan, head of breasts at the Tits Institute, said reports his bra research was complete were ‘irresponsible’, and could stop women volunteering to help with his work. He said: “I would love to say that my intelligent bra was now a reality, I really would, but I think I will probably end up working on this project for the rest of my life.”

Dr Logan has devoted his life to developing a super-bra that will stop women’s breasts bouncing around during exercise, but with very limited success so far. Unlike rival researchers who use sophisticated laser measuring techniques to gauge levels of bounce, Dr Logan personally observes his volunteers using his bras as they jog before him on a treadmill. He said: “I only got into this line of work by accident after my university rejected my initial proposal to look into intelligent panties. But it has proved hugely rewarding.”

Most of the research takes place in Dr Logan’s office, which is equipped with a treadmill, video camera, heavy curtains and tissues. All joggers are asked to wear blindfolds to prevent anything they see interfering with the experiments, while Dr Logan always removes his trousers in case they affect the results.

He added: “People often ask me what possible scientific benefit can arise from spending hours in a darkened room watching a woman with large breasts jog on the spot on front of you in a not very supportive bra. Imagine if they had said that to Einstein? He would never have invented the atom bomb.”

Toodle pip

Compter says yes !!!

The main computer is now up and running again !! Hurrah !! So excited l don't know what to do with myself !!

The blog will now resume with a piece about the NME awards


POPULAR music is to remain exactly as it is for ever and ever after Oasis were named best band at last night's NME awards.

The lead singer of U2 is a 48 year-old tax avoider named 'Bongo'. Oasis, hailed as a 'fresh and exciting group of middle aged men from Manchester' have impressed critics with their fresh, exciting songs that all sound exactly the same.Tom Logan, assistant editor of NME, said: "It's so exciting for British music that a really fresh middle-aged band like Oasis is being recognised for doing the same fresh and exciting thing over and over and over again for what must be the best part of 20 years."Logan added: "Their sound is so fresh, so exciting and so completely unlike anything we've ever heard apart from absolutely every single note played by the Beatles, as well as the Rolling Stones, the Who, the Kinks, the Smiths and, obviously, the Stone Roses."

Meanwhile the BBC is devoting an entire week of programming to rock's freshest sensation, a fresh and exciting group of middle-aged men from Dublin called 'U2'.Director general Mark Thompson said: "I discovered U2 last year when they were playing some tiny, little spit and sawdust Olympic stadium in Rome and I knew straight away they would need lots of help from the BBC in promoting their new album."He added: "They're not your typical Dublin band, they're actually a really fresh and exciting group of millionaire property developers who have invented this fresh, exciting sound where all the songs are exactly the same."

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Wednesday, 18 February 2009

computer update

Still have not got the main computer fixed, although it is now out of the house being repaired and may even be ready today, l have to phone about it later. Still cursing having to use the laptop, prefer to fiddle with my little mouse (ooeerr).

Nozzer the rabbit still has a scab on his head from his pussy removal (ooeerr again), but is pretty perky. Have to keep giving him antibiotics and bathing his head, so we'll see how he goes. Apparently if it happens every 6 weeks or so it is pretty bad and he won't live long. lf it is every 6 months or so, we can carry on treating him.

Been down to Walsall for Mandy's nans funeral (Edna), also a memorial service at Stockton. Also Rab's missus Dots funeral in Catterick and Tommy Pikes, also in Catterick. They are going down like flies (ooeerr again - think l need a lie down).

Toodle pip